Corrupt a wish

[Beguile's Mistress]

Granted.  However,  the Frosty comes in a self-refilling cup and if you don't keep eating it runs over.

I wish I had a parrot that talked and amused my friends.

[Kiurial]

Granted.  However,  the Frosty comes in a self-refilling cup and if you don't keep eating it runs over.

I wish I had a parrot that talked and amused my friends.

Granted.  Though that parrot would also be more than willing to mimic the sounds you make in the privacy of your bedroom late at night, and it would lead to quite a lot of trouble and embarrassment.

I wish that I had become a professional athlete.

[wordzmythe]

Granted.  You're  now Tonya Harding.

I wish I knew what it was the Parrot said:

I wish I had a parrot that talked and amused my friends.

Granted.  Though that parrot would also be more than willing to mimic the sounds you make in the privacy of your bedroom late at night, and it would lead to quite a lot of trouble and embarrassment.

[RipTide]

Granted. It was the sound of Peter Griffin laughing incessantly... Forever.

I wish that I had bigger breasticles!

[Emjay]

Wish granted but they grow too big. Now you have back problems.

[Stone]

Since you didn't wish, you get someone else's wish. Unfortunately it is Pinocchio's wish. Now you're a real boy.

I wish I had an orangutan.

[wordzmythe]

Granted.  Unfortunately the Orangutan has separation anxiety and personal space issues. 

I wish my house was a spaceship, and I could journey amongst the stars . . .

[Elysian Radiance]

Granted. Except you can only travel to places where the human race is hated.

I wish I had cheesecake to eat.

[Mercurio123]

Granted, unfortunately it turns out you are allergic to cheesecake.

I wish someone would massage my shoulders. They are rather sore.

[Beguile's Mistress]

Granted.  The Incredible Hulk arrives every day to massage your shoulders after work.  Poor thing doesn't realize his own strength but you soon learn his power.

I wish my Queen Elsa (Frozen) costume would get here soon.

[Elysian Radiance]

Granted, but it's too small and you won't be able to get a new one in time for Halloween.

I wish there were more hours in the day.

[wordzmythe]

Granted! One hour now lasts 30 minutes!

I wish the weekend would get here so I can go home. Weekend got here, so wish wasn't granted, corrupt or otherwise.

Instead I wish the weekend would never end  :P

[Beguile's Mistress]

Granted.  Now you unlimited weekend days and unlimited need for companionship for date night followed by unlimited hangovers the next morning. :-)

I wish I could have some fresh fruit salad.

[Elysian Radiance]

Granted, but you can't open the fridge where it's stored.

I wish my body was the perfect temperature at all times.

[Wispyr]

Granted but you now have a non-stop numb tingle in your entire body.

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.

[Luvan95]

Granted, you don't have a job to go to anymore, you are fired.

I wish I had my own computer again.

[Wolfie]

Granted... But the computer you are given is actually a typewriter duct taped to an outdated television.



I wish I could find a boyfriend or girlfriend.

[Wispyr]

Granted, however no you can't get rid of them, you are stripped of all free time and never allowed to go more than five minutes between forms of communication. Also they smell a little weird.

I wish that I could finish these posts faster!

[Luvan95]

Granted, the speed of your writing is increased, but the quality drops immensely.

I wish I could do magic.

[Elysian Radiance]

Granted, but it's only bad magic that will land you in jail.

I wish sleep was more restorative.

[Stone]

Granted. You wake up fully restored. With a penis. >:)

I wish people got along better. Also, pizza.

[Dys Astyr]

Granted, everyone in the world get's along do to being made out of pizza and no longer being sentient/animate.

I wish my muse wasn't such a fickle bastard.

[Elysian Radiance]

Granted but now you can't stop writing. You write all the time, everywhere, and you never have time for anything else.

I wish I didn't hurt so bad.

[Dys Astyr]

Granted, you are no only a whisper of shadow, no longer capable of feeling anything.

I wish someone would bring me a sammich.

[Boatman]

Wish granted.

It is crab and mayonnaise, on seeded bread with a hint of pepper.

I wish for the ebola virus to be destroyed.