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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 378538 times)

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Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11100 on: October 07, 2018, 08:10:25 PM »
You always assume that I am plotting your demise, just because I sit there for hours, sometimes on top of the fridge or other high places, watching you in silence. I am sick of you assuming I want to kill you, you even told the neighbor's and  I quote. "That cat has it out for me. If I die, kill the cat at all cost." Did it ever occur to you that I am simply studying you, trying to learn more about you through observation. I can't take it any more. My last owner was much better than you.

Offline Love And Submission

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11101 on: October 09, 2018, 09:06:43 PM »
I'm sorry I met a Labrador Retriever and he's just such a good boy that I have to break up with you.

Also, please stop leaving dead birds in the foyer. It's uncleanly.

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11102 on: October 10, 2018, 05:01:50 PM »
At least I have the decency to inform you that I have brought you a dead bird. You on the other hand are different. You leave carrot sticks everywhere, nearly broke my neck when I tripped on several of them. You also leave bunny droppings everywhere, learn to use the bathroom, like I did. We had some good times together, pulling pranks on the neighbors and leaving their pets on the rooftops, however it is time for us to move on. You will be slightly missed. Good-bye and stay safe.
« Last Edit: November 02, 2018, 09:57:07 AM by Dark Despairs »

Offline SeraphAzriel

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11103 on: October 10, 2018, 05:03:55 PM »
I'm sorry mate but I just can't do it anymore.  The furballs, leaving your hair everywhere, and leaving the toilet seat up all the time.  It's just all too much to bear, I'm sorry bud, but I've found another cat.

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11104 on: October 18, 2018, 07:44:40 PM »
I asked you not to touch the special grenade that I spent four hours making, but did you listen? No. The neighbors want me gone because they are missing half of their house. This is why I don't tell you what I am up to, because it always ends with something or someone blowing up. I have nine lives and I want to keep it that way. I will be out in two days.

Offline Love And Submission

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11105 on: October 19, 2018, 03:35:12 AM »
We tried and it just didn't work out. I've always been more of a tuxedo guy and you're a calico. We're not simpatico.

Offline AzureRain

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11106 on: October 21, 2018, 01:16:44 PM »
I loved the warmth of your embrace; the way you nibble on my ear. But I'm sorry, I just can't be with you anymore. I'm tired of you running off every night to be with those playboy bunny-types.

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11107 on: October 26, 2018, 12:30:17 PM »
Must you walk around the house in the nude? What happened to wearing clothes? I understand you are a nudist, but come on, I am getting tired of seeing you naked twenty-four seven. Either you start wearing clothes or its good-bye.

Offline Undeniable Sin

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11108 on: October 28, 2018, 04:20:01 AM »
At first, I thought a cat strategizing for warfare was cute. A fun little quirk. Sadly, it got old. All you ever talked about was how felines rule, and cats would one day own the earth. I even tried slipping you catnip, but even then you drunkenly ranted about how the smart cat would get the mouse. It made some adorable cat videos for youtube, but it just isn't working for me anymore.

Offline Merry Gentry

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11109 on: October 29, 2018, 05:15:05 PM »
Dearest Sin,
   you are clearly not the one for me.. we can't always BOTH be in trouble!
Someone has to be the responsible person in the relationship, so I guess it's me this time.
I'm out.. sorry!
~m

Offline Mimetisme

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11110 on: November 01, 2018, 02:51:24 PM »

I adore you, I truly do. Despairingly, I cannot kiss you without tasting your last snack. Forgive me, beloved, we are done.

Offline Merry Gentry

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11111 on: November 01, 2018, 08:16:45 PM »
Dear Mime
   you know how much I care, but the blue lips are cold against mine, so very cold!
I'm looking for something a bit warmer. 
Sorry!

Offline Shekinah

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11112 on: November 02, 2018, 04:39:44 AM »
Sweet sweet Merry

I keep telling you to please to sucking my blood out when I'm asleep. It makes me feel a bit anemic in the morning, making me even grumpier.
But you can't seem to control your urges.
That's why I have no other choice to leave you as I'm afraid if this keeps up, I might end up driving a stake through your hearth.
so better to break it don't you think?

goodbye

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11113 on: November 02, 2018, 10:03:20 AM »
When we first got together we established a few rules, 1. No public display of affection. 2. I would handle the cooking and cleaning. 3. You would handle the financially matters. For six years all went swimmingly, until you broke the first rule on December 24th 12:13 PM, not only did you hug me in public, but executed the french kiss on top of it. I understand that you were happy, that I bought you that present you have been wanting, but rules are rules dear. Good-bye, I will never forget the good times we shared together.

Offline blue bunny sparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11114 on: November 02, 2018, 02:17:47 PM »
Furballs. Really Dark Despairs? Must you subject me to that?

A bunny can put up with a lot of things... but, furballs... just no.

I'm finding a new bunny hutch to call home.


Offline Mimetisme

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11115 on: November 02, 2018, 03:55:53 PM »

Sweet and adoring, my sparkling bunny...

I know no better way to say this yet I wish not to hurt you.
We clash by our colors. I embrace blue but even I know when there is too much of it.
You're sweet, you're sexy, you are a true beauty inside and out.
Nonetheless, I need someone who compliments my symbolic color on my lips and in my heart.
Forgive me, I shall always think of you fondly, but this is goodbye.

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11116 on: November 03, 2018, 11:50:20 AM »
What happened to red or black lipstick? It's always the same bloody lipstick color, on top of that you keep arguing with my female roommate, she is just a friend. I have never once slept with her or even thought of doing such a thing, she needed a place to stay and I said she could stay here, after all this is my apartment. I can't take the constant bickering between you two and you always accusing me of cheating. You have two weeks to move out. 

Offline Mimetisme

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11117 on: November 03, 2018, 01:48:51 PM »

When we met, you said you adored the color of my lips. You even asked for my blue 'ring'. As far as your roommate is concerned, I had a reason to be suspicious. You share the same bed. You take showers and baths together. You even invited her to tag along! Truth is, I would have been quite delighted if we had a triangle effect type of relationship. I mean, c'mon. She's hot! But noooo. Any time I mentioned it, you got pissy. Accused me of it being a trick to gain a confession from you! Also, we fought because of you dearie. We had the crazy idea that you would help us 'settle' our arguments. Well that failed apparently.

So I'll be gone by tomorrow morning, I'm that done with you. But hey, ask your roommate to give me a call sometime! Thanks!

Offline Dark Despairs

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #11118 on: November 03, 2018, 02:33:54 PM »
That was two years ago. Get her number yourself. Where do I even begin? Last week you decided it would be a lovely idea to go kayaking, you know damn well, I can't swim, I only went along with it due to you and her teaming up on me. There is also the matter of your signing, it sounds like two dogs crying out in pain. Let's not forget that you totaled my motorcycle, you never paid me back for the damages. It's my only ride, now I have to walk 36 miles to work. I want you gone by the time I get off work.