Corrupt a wish

[shiroangel]

Granted! You can be in two places at once, but you turn into an inanimate object when you do.

I wish I had A/C.

[William Blake]

Granted. You have an aircraft. Presumably, you have no pilots license, and the aircraft is of the sort that's illegal to own, so you get no use of it beyond being hounded by the authorities.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

[Cryptic]

Granted knowing what you wished for you suddenly get a spark of an idea... then poof you have amnesia and promptly forget a second later.

I wish for a mouth watering meal.

[William Blake]

Granted. Your mouth waters alright. Shame it's just out of your reach...

I wish for less malicious wish granters.

[Left Palm of Saint Michae]

Hail 2 U!

People become generally kinder, but no one can grant wishes anymore!

Man, if only I was an approved member...

[William Blake]

How can I corrupt that wish!? I approve of being approved. I guess I have to try:

Granted. You are approved, but lose all access to the internet just as you've started a good story.

I wish fire ants didn't exist.

[Left Palm of Saint Michae]

Haha! Good thing I chose useless ability of snail slow internet connection no matter what!

Hail 2 U!

Fire ants are no more! They seized to be! They've expired and gone to meet their maker!..
Yet you become obsessed with them. You try to persuade everyone you know that they've once existed, and become an outcast.

Hmm.. Give me some ice cream!

[William Blake]

Granted. It's even pre-melted so you don't have to worry about drips.

I wish I could type with perfect accuracy all the time.

[Merry Gentry]

Granted, but technology evolves to a mind control situation and so everyone can just think everything to each other and there is no need for written anything any more. 

I wish I had more lobster to eat

[Cryptic]

Granted! Before you appears all the lobster in the world you can eat... though suddenly you find out you are now deathly allergic to shell fish... such a shame


I wish I had a comfier bed.

[Merry Gentry]

Granted, it's so comfortable you fall asleep and never wake up.

I wish I could go get a pedicure

[Songbird]

Granted. You get a marvelous pedicure, your feet and toenails never lovelier. Unfortunately, it's the day of the Foot-Fetishists Fair, and you are chased by several dozen men who have fallen in love with your feet at first sight! :o

I wish I could find the perfect pink nail polish... :-)

[Deamonbane]

Granted! You have found the perfect pink nail polish. You can't use it, though. Full of mercury and lead and all sorts of unpleasantness in heavy metal form.

Congrats on finding it though.

I wish I had a higher tolerance for alcohol.

[Songbird]

Congratulations! You can now drink as much alcohol as you want without getting more than a mild buzz. However, you now sleepwalk in a drunk-like state. Enjoy! ;D

I wish I hadn't missed the eclipse. :-(

[AxiomUltimatum]

Granted but you now have bad vision from looking unprotected.

I wish chocolate was a super healthy food you just couldn't eat too much of.

[William Blake]

All chocolate becomes super healthy. Unfortunately, in the process, chocolate becomes unsatisfying at best, disgusting at worse.

I wish I wasn't too lazy to bake something nice tonight.

[AxiomUltimatum]

Granted. You are now full of energy and productiveness. Unfortunatley, all your ingredients have vanished from your kitchen and all the stores are ağır for refurbishment.

I wish everyone would tidy up after themselves.

[William Blake]

Granted, but now nobody can find anything, since people keep moving other people's stuff.

I wish I had an internal MP3 player.

[CassieBear]

Granted, however it's only a 2GB storage and pre-loaded with elevator music.

I wish I had something to watch.

[William Blake]

Granted; there's a lovely new accent wall in your home with wet paint.

I wish my sass was absolute!

[Deamonbane]

Your sass is now absolute! Of course, that means that you now live in a world where nobody understands sass anymore, and you are alone in your sass.

I wish I wasn't tired anymore.

[AtlanticBlue]

Granted! You're no longer tired anymore but can now never sleep.

I wish all my electronics never lose charge!

[Stone]

Granted. They lose interest instead, and stop working.

I wish that did not sound as cruel a corruption as it does. Sincerely. O:)

[Kore]

Granted! It sounds like a very cruel insult instead.

I wish that the air conditioning would work in my office when it's hot outside!

[CassieBear]

Granted, the air conditioning unit is turned on so high it causes everyone hypothermia.

I wish everyone a safe Tuesday.