Tails of Monkey - Hey Adventure is still waiting

[Catherine]

It looked like my poking had caused the Black furred curtain to move giving me an opening. Like any ninja girl I am going to take advantage of it.

*Rule one of being a ninja girl, take advantage of open curtains. Okay it is a simple rule but hey simple is sometimes better. If a rule is too complicated it won't be followed. For example, let's do an extreme and not like it would ever happen. Let's say there is a missile and there is like a manual of what not to do, blah boring and yawn, it isn't really written to keep you involved and after a while it is just blah blah blah. It can be made really simple by just having sign saying 'don't press this button!' Direct and simple and I know what not to do.*

I slide between the black furred curtain and the wall. Not really slide but scoot sideways. What? How do I know about missiles and buttons? I have seen movies with them in them. So I learned never press the button unless you are an evil overlord. Can I get back to scooting? What the explanation wasn't good enough?

Okay fine If it will help. The British government contacted me once when their big guy was down with a cold. They were having a problem with a guy who loved to pet cats and laugh evilly. It seemed like he somehow got a missile and well he shouldn't have gotten one. So yeah double oh monkey girl was sent in to rake care if it. I did such a good job they gave me a pen and watch, telling me they did things winking a lot. Of course they did, one writes and the other tells time. Wow impressive, okay it was odd that little old lady slapped her never and then passed out after I played with the watch.

If I told you anymore I would have to kill you. Don't worry it won't hurt much. Let me just pinch you right here and you won't feel anything.  Don't look so alarmed I had to sign a waiver and everything. So yeah come here. Just kidding, pulling your tail.  Not going to kill you. *whisper* just don't tell anyone. *stop whistle*

Okay, back to scooting now? Okay and thank you.

I continue to scoot passing something big, black and glossy. I think I even heard another oink. Only confirming what I was thinking. This wasn't a curtain but a pig?

When I reach a corner I turn and keep going. I get a could steps when I am pressed against the wall by something. Something moist and squishy, ewwwwww this isn't fun and it is breathing on me and it stinks!

Someone call 911! Blargh.

[Catherine]

I try to get myself free but every time I think I find a place to put a hand it slips and well.... what I feel is enough to get me to jerk my hands back banging my elbows against the wall. So it goes ick bang ow over and over. 

It's like I am fighting a sumo wrestler and not in a good way and if I had to guess what is covering my hands a snotty one. * shiver *  Every time I think I am getting ahead I am being flipped around and pressed against the wall or something similar. It was like I was struggling for my life and whatever I was defending against had the upper hand.

I flip around and push with both hands and I get shot in the face with a jet of air, which smelled. Of course one hand goes back to cover my nose and and I get thumped in the head by something soft but lumpy. Like a heavy thick lumpy pillow that goes where it wants and no matter what you do you can't get comfortable. Somehow it always ends up on top in the morning and you are sore. Almost like you participated in a wrestling match while you slept. Hey is the pillow have a big belt on?

For a moment, I consider head butting but the whole head shooting forward into ick is um yeah..... No. Maybe if I tried, somehow in a blink of an eye I am tasting wall and one arm is pulled behind me. How in the world did that just happen? I push against the wall with one hand and the next moment I am upside down and I am folded up like a pretzel. I would try to spin but all I think would get is an urk, hands on the ground and feet out spread out in the standard upside down fan position. The spinning part never showing up so the moment gets weird as my blood rushes to my head and I start to pass out.

This goes on for a while, me never getting the upper hand before finding myself being bent up like an origami thingie and i just don't bend that way in some spots. Snap crackle pop. How is my feet there? Snap crackle pop. I don't think my arms are suppose to be bending like that or my fingers!

This is like fighting a giant bed sheet, no matter what i do it has the upper hand. Whatever I have been struggling with backs away for a moment and I take advantage of that moment. Plan A is running away quickly and leaving a little cloud me behind.....  sometimes the best thing to do especially if you are facing something bug and nasty with a lot of teeth, acid and fire. Oh oh and spits out bees. Best to run on those circumstances. Plan b is to drop to my knees and beg not to be pretzeled anymore and covered with ick.

"Please I beg you don't bend me anymore. My joints don't like hurting and they are and that green stuff look really gross."

I choose plan c and reach out and grab whatever. Which afterwards had me thinking I should have came up with more plans. Grab grab and look and nearly faint. Hey don't laugh or say anything, you would faint to if you were starring at what I was and it was only like a foot or three feet away. All up close and personal.

A snout!

Oink!



((Oink))

[Catherine]

It wasn't just large but huge, like bigger than my head. If someone came  up behind me and gave me a push I would slip, up to my shoulders, into one of the nostrils. Now I wouldn't be happy and definitely wouldn't be laughing saying that was a 'good One' or something similar. I would be kicking my feet as i tried to pull myself out. When I managed to pull myself free  I would be arms across chest mad, then do the point and say "No! bad!" Then calmly walk away until I get out of sight,  then I would run crying to a shower. After eight hours of cleaning I think I had all of it out. Using the proper amount of hair care stuff to try and get it back to what it was before shiver and eek.

Could it be? A short nosed elephant, I tell myself as I wrestle with the snout. I don't want to be boogered on,so I struggled like s professional my push my arms forward and repeating 'no...no....no' over and over. You would too if you were staring Down a nostril of enormous size.

I push forwards again and try something, anything really. Shift arms to the right and let go. Nothing, they just sat where I let go of them until,I grabbed  them again. Which was nice since I did didn't have to hint for the nostrils. I tried pulling them down and then up but that was a no go. It just was. Stretch them apart and it felt like I was looking down into a void  that I was foolish enough to lean over and then fall down into.

OINK!

((Oink?))

[Catherine]

The oink I heard was one of pain, telling me whatever was attached to the snout that was pressing me against the wall and showing me who is boss was hurt because of me trying to get away. Mentally I wiped my forehead since, for a moment, I was imagining some large snout just floating there pressing me against the wall. Unless the snout learned to oink it meant it was attached to something.

I wonder how it would move, if it was a snout. Like an inch worm, inching itself along or would it fly around like a jet. Inhaling through its nostrils and exhaling out its..... whatever snouts have. The second one is kind of cool but the snot trails it would leave behind as it flew around would get messy. people would be slipping and falling and possibly getting hurt, which isn't good. People would be running away from me whenever they heard the roar of the snout flying towards them. Yeah I would have a flying snout but no friends.

The camera slows turns and zooms in a little as a tear forms and rolls dow my cheek. I
I push out my bottom lip as I sniff once, only once though since anymore wouldn't to  be overkill. Oh oh can I dub some sad violin music in to? It would add so much to the scene.

What? The answer is no for the violin. I guess I can work with just a tear. It would be the saddest tear ever though, people watching it would be emotionally touched by it and they would start to cry and then it would be like a pass it forward type a thing. Other would start to cry and then others and then others. Soon everyone is crying and no one remembers why. They just cry and cry and all of the world's tissue supply just dries up which is kind of funny if you think about it.

Okay I think I lost my train of thought, where was I?  Oh yeah flying snout which I know is not real. So it might be good if I figure out what is behind the snout. I reach up and place my hands on top of the snout and push up. The whole giant snout to monkey girl to wall thing making it a little harder.

Grunt!

Um yeah that wasn't me, that was the frog over..... there. *point*

I think it is some law that the cute and adorable cannot grunt, I would look it up and confirm but I am sort of busy at the moment so yeah...... we can say that the law says that the cute and adorable cannot grunt. That if it sounds like they did it must be a frog. That sounds official right?

Grunt!

Again not me but the frog that is right over there. *point*

I manage to push myself up only to see forehead, one filled with folds and black fur. Can't forget the black fur it is all over. I lean to the side and come face to face with a big black eye.

"Well hello, there you are," I say with a smile.

Oink!

[Catherine]

That is all I could think of saying really, face to face with an eyeball. I couldn't give it a hug because that would be gross. A big squeeze with face to pupil. Ick! I had nightmares after Halloween parties when I was a kid, they did the blind thing and had you put your hand in a bowl of skinned grapes talking you it was eyeballs. Squishy and sticky and other things that end in y.

That night and for a week later I had nightmares of eyeballs rolling up and looking up as they nudged me with their eyeballness. Giving me a complex because they can't blink. That and who would go around skinning grapes?!?

Anyways no hugging the giant eyeball.

"I guess I should introduce myself," I say sitting there looking at my reflection in the giant eyeball, "I am Nichole Anne Marie Smith, my friends call me monkey for an obvious reasons it ." Pointing over a shoulder with a thumb to hopefully my tail that is sitting there. If not there is going to be a confused look coming from the giant eyeball.

Luckily my tail had training as an escape artist, using a credit card that it had found somewhere and a piece of gum it had managed to escape. It had actually escaped before I did but felt sorry so it faked being stuck.

If the eyeball had a head it nodded.

Oink.

"Hello to you too," I answered with a smile, "So what are you called?"

Oink!

"Hmmmm that is interesting. I never pictured you as that," I look around as I nod, past the eyeball to take more of everything in, "Would it be okay if I gave you a nickname so I don't mispronounce your name?"

Oink.

"Good, if you let me down I can take look at you, give you a nickname that is fitting. I don't want to give you a nickname that doesn't fit like snugglebum."

Oink.

Moments later the equation was changed from snout plus monkey girl plus wall to monkey girl falling down a wall and sticking a three point landing.

I throw my arms out and do a little bow for the judges. That might help with the one judge. Nine nine eight nine and one. Boooooo.................l.

((Oink. Oink. Oink.))

[Catherine]

I let my arms drop before walking to the side to see what had almost snorted in me. I mean it snouted me and if it inhaled it could have snorted me and that wouldn't have been pretty. The last minute arms flailing about as I get sucked in and the "No.............." wouldn't be pretty.

In the back of my mind I sort of had an idea what I was going to see. I have been to farms and picked up baby ones and gave them little hugs, their moms giving me that 'I am watching you' look.  But if it is one it is large, no x-large. Let me change that it is gigantic. Of course I could be wrong and it could be a short trunked elephant but I doubt that. It is easily to identity an elephant no matter how short their trunk is just lol for the ears.

But I was pretty sure I was right in my identification and wouldn't need to confirm with the manual. It would be embarrassing if I had to.

It take a step to the side followed by several others and get a good look. Large pig like body check. Snout check. Pig face check and finally curly tail check. Now if I had to identify it I would say it is a Vietnamese pot belly pig because of the easily identifiable pot belly which is right there.

I nod, "you are a good looking pig."

Oink.

"You are welcome," I answer, taking a step step closer to the pig and giving it a loving pat on the pot belly. "I am guessing you are my mount."

Oink.

I smile, "Cool, unicorns and Pegasus's are so last year. So I guess it is time for a nickname?"

Oink.

"Okay," I take a couple of steps back and bring a finger to my lips in the standard thinking pose. This was a tricky one since this was my mount an well it could sit on me so I had to be careful. Mr. Snouter? No..... Lamb chomps, the wrong type of chops and I wouldn't eat my mount. People would be asking questions if I did and that would lead to weird things.

"What happened to your mount?"

"Um I was sort of hungry and well I couldn't find a microwave to heat up a frozen Burrito so...."

"Um you do know that.... you know never mind I think I might be best if I unfriend you."

"What? Why?"

"Simple, you might eat me the next time you can't find a microwave!"

See like I said it would be weird and there would be whispering and elbow nudging as I walked by people. None of which I needed. So yeah thinking.....

Snap!

Oops sorry that was my fingers and not my brain snapping, I had an idea for a name. It was amazing and got to the point. It communicated and no one would ask what I rode.

*proud pose with hands on hips*

"I think I will call you 'Wiener'."

Oh yeah, so proud of that. No one would ask me how I came up with it. Also Wiener would know that I am talking about him or her and not about someone else. "What do you think?"

Oink.

My smile grew even larger, "Great! Let's go see Merl."

Oink.

[Catherine]

There I was riding proudly on top of Weiner. Audokornet wouldn't stand a chance now, with my locator and Weiner it won't be able to run or hide. Soon it will be back in the cookie jar. Ah the setting sun looks good, it adds that whole western riding into the sunset dramatic feel. If only  I had some spaghetti western music playing but it loses the whole effect played on a MP3 player and you have to ask 'huh? What is that? I think I hear something but I can't tell. Maybe it is a loud cricket."

The mysterious monkey girl rode into the sunset after taking care of the bad guys. They had ridden into town weeks ago causing trouble and everything. Kicking things over and burping really loud in libraries. The town was powerless until..... whe whew whe.... the lone mysterious cute monkey girl rode into town on her mighty pig. The tables were turned on the bad guys, turned to the right in fact, soon after and they ran like chickens. The town tried to thank the monkey girl with money and pretty things but she told them all she needed was a banana milkshake and  a thank you. As she rode out of town the town folk heard a slurp and an "ahhhhh, banana gold....." Of course a little kid ran up asking who the mysterious stranger was. She paused mid slurp and looked down at the little kid, "You know who I am." With that the stranger was gone and the kid just stood there, "Uh no I don't."

I nod, imagining the credits rolling by and at the end Weiner rears back as I wave my imaginary ten gallon hat in the air. The whole time being dramatically silhouetted by the setting sun. Cool.....

Oh yeah, STAMP copyrighted postmarked trademarked or highlighted. Whatever it takes to keep someone from stealing that and making a movie. Rewriting it so when I see it at the movies I keep saying "I didn't say that!" or "I definitely didn't do that!"And even "What rating is this movie because I had more clothes on than that!"

Anyways there I am riding into the sunset, whew whe whew. Errrr pull on brake screeeeeeech power slide stop.

Okay I am getting a little ahead of myself and you are probably scratching your head too. Trying to figure out if you missed something since that last thing you read, I was leaving the stall with Weiner to show Merl and now I am riding into the sunset. How did I get from point a to b, you ask. Nothing is adding up, stupid math.

Well okay I thought the whole walking out and pointing back towards Weiner and going "Weiner" then at Merl and saying "Merl" was kind of boring so left that out, once you read one walk you read them all.

Okay maybe I should tell you what happened since pigs are different than horses and  Weiner here was a handful.

Oink!

Well you were. Anyways let me see if I can find my sunglasses because the sunset is blinding me. Now I know why they ride out of the sunset and not into it. Ah there they are, much better......

[Catherine]

So yeah Weiner and myself walked out to Merl, it had seriously sounded like that was all we had to do really. Walk out, point and thumbs up but I got the following.

"It looks like a mount has chosen you," Merl said as he came up to Wiener and myself.

"Yup," loving pat on the side of Wiener,"I was shooting for a unicorn but I got a Wiener, so all good."

Merl stopped and gave Wiener the once over, "It is a mighty steed."

"I think so too and there is no way I will lose him in a parking lot."

Oink!

"Well there isn't. How many other gigantic pot belly pigs do you know?"

Oink.

I nodded, "Okay well I will give you that but still. What are the chances of them being in same parking lot with you?"

Oink.

"Other than family reunions of course," i answer with a shake of my head, "every day that has a family reunion, class reunion or anything similar. How many times do you think?"

Wiener thought for a moment and oinked.

"See I told you, easy to find parked next to the car or even a SUV. Better gas mileage too," ended with nod.

Merl looked at the both of us, mouth hanging open, "What was that about?"

Without thinking i answer, "Well we were having a discussion on if Wiener would get lost in a parking lot."

"But you understood each other. "

For a moment I think back to everything, not everything just the last few minutes. Well it looks like Merl was right. Somehow Wiener and myself were communicating. Before you ask, no I didn't take pig Latin. Pretty sure Wiener didn't take English either. "Well it looks like you are right. Let me test, what is the square root of eight hundred sixty three."

Oink.

I nodded again, "Looks like you are right Merl and Wiener is really smart since I would never have gotten that. So I guess the next thing I have to do is sign some papers or something and then i can leave?"

Merl laughed, "there is more than that. First have you ridden a pig before?"

"There was that one time at the petting zoo, where I sort of," I stop mid sentence when I get that 'I am being looked at' feeling. I look around and see Wiener looking at  me. "Uh no," followed by  mental whistle.

"So the first thing that needs done is for  you to Learn how to ride."

"Learn? That sounds a lot like school...."

Merl closed his eyes and shook his head, "Yes learn. It is best you know how to ride your mount so you aren't holding on afraid to fall off."

"But....."

"Down the hall and to the right!" Merl pointed.

"Fine, let's go Wiener."

Oink.


((And a new year...))

[Catherine]

As Wiener and myself walked down the hallway I got the strange feeling that it was built for a rider and mount to um....... well something. Inner inspection of the other without training or license maybe. Some type of spiritual thing to bring them closer without all of the strange symbols, burning of strange herbs since the last time that some one tried it, the place almost burned down. I could tell that by the sign posted on the wall with a leaf with smoke coming off of it that has a slash going through it and a big red 'NO!' Also no kneeling either at certain spots, marked there there and over there. That is due to some mounts not having knees. It is hard to connect with a mount if you have to either push them over before or grunt as you pick them up after a ceremony.

What really keyed me to the whole special hallway thing was the acoustic panels up by the ceiling and that weird stuffed animal head over there, the one with antlers and the crazy eyes. Wiener stopped when I jumped back and forth several times trying to lose the crazy eyed antlered thing to no avail. No matter what I did it followed me, I even tried  the 'what is that' point  which didn't work.  I even tried it again as I walked away and nothing. Creepy eyes....

The acoustic tiles really did the job though. If it wasn't for them I would have never have heard Wiener's foot steps. Which is kind of surprising really with Wiener's size or everything, ahhhhhh ummmm which is of course is perfect for its height.

*finger to lips* Shhh........... I have learned  that Wiener is sort of self conscious of its weight. I don't know why really I mean pigs have to have a certain shape. Which thin pigs could not have. People would point and stare if Wiener came walking by and was
all paper thin. That and the whole saying 'You are being a pig," just wouldn't make sense. There would be a lot of head scratching and ummms going on. Just saying I have caught Wiener looking in the mirror sometimes maybe wondering if its curly tail looks fat. Which it isn't and I keep telling Wiener that..

So like yeah the acoustic tiles helped me hear Wiener's footsteps. I wouldn't have if it wasn't for them, it was that quiet. I looked several times making sure Wiener was still besides me and it was. Also checking if it had slipped on roller skates, which it didn't. So either Wiener was part ninja or it had a stealth mode.

Before I could ask, Wiener and I came to the door which was surprising since I thought it was longer. I guess the acoustic tiles had some type of optical illusion thing going making the hallway look longer. Any better and I might have slammed against the door by accident, I said might. My tail would have stopped me, I think...

I look back to my tail to check and it nods. See I was right. That would have been embarrassing if it shrugged.

I look back at Wiener as I grab the doorknob, "Ready?"

Oink.


((Oink!))

[Catherine]

The door opens and I get that feeling that horns should be tooting or something to announce Wiener and myself because of the light nearly blinding us. I flick my hand and slip my sunglasses on. Don't ask me where they came from, they were in my bag but now on my face. Maybe it is a developing ability of being cute and adorable. Am I evolving? Nah just being blinded by the light but hey I do look good in them don't you think.

*smile  with a lens flare that makes that lens flare sound effect awing *

Wiener and myself step outside and stop, it is best to do that sometimes to take everything in. *cough* Not at the top or the bottom of a escalator though. *cough* What sat in front of us was a grass field with a small open on one side building sitting in the center. The wood fence surrounding the field gave it a nice appearance. A warm welcome I think I can jump over appearance.

With hands on my sides I nod, "Well it looks like you are staying here while we train. With the fence and everything it looks really comfortable. You can probably get some water and make a little mud pit over there, " pointing off to one side.

"What do you think?"

Oink.

"That is what I thought," I say giving Wiener a thumbs up.

Suddenly a "Wrong!!!" Erupts right next to me and I react. Doing one of those frozen one leg jump with a scared 'I need to find out what just scared me and I hope it doesn't  have sharp teeth' pose. Heart racing I look and  see Merl standing next to me.

"When did you? How did you?" I ask looking down at him and back towards the door over and over, trying to figure out when and how. For a guy with hooves Merl was quiet or I was looking at the birds sitting on the fences too much trying to figure out what they were. I think they were Bavarian nutmeg roasts,  the only way a person can confirm  a bird is one of those is by picking one up and sniffing it and see if it smells like nutmeg. Which I doubt I could have done with the distance between us. I am pretty sure they would have seen me sneaking up, no matter how much I whistled and acted casual giving them a 'hey' when they look at me.

Merl laughed, "Been here before you got here."

I just stood there trying to figure out how Merl beat Wiener and myself here. We left him back at the stables at the far end of the hallway. We left back there plus no clomping of hooves equals there is no way. But here he is....

Cautiously I reach out and touch one of the horns on Merl's head. If I touch something I know he is real. If I don't I can scream. My hand gets  and closer. Time slows down. Wiener loos toward. This agonizing!

I pause for a moment, hand trembling, glistenforming and some other stuff. I would so look and see but goal set.

Oink.

[Catherine]

My hand feels hardness of the horn type, whew thank monkey I wasn't seeing things. I was too young to start doing that.  Ok there was that one time but I just got done sucking down a mega grande banana milkshake and was sort of on a shake buzz. Flowers started to sing and a snail spoke to me in a language I didn't understand at all, I think it was French. [insert some French sounding words] See did you understand that? I didn't think so. Then I got hit by a brain freeze and had to fight off  a major case of glacier brain for the rest of the day. It wasn't pretty, rolling from side to side saying "Ow....."

*Flashback slurp - Mmmmm good. Did I tell you that Banana milkshakes are good? What I did?  Okay, they are banana gold.*

I stand there smiling and not because of the feel of the horn which I am pretty sure I am getting that look that says, 'Um she is touching my horn for a long time. Yeah I know. It is sort of creepy. Yeah, just let her do this so it keeps her from doing the creepy laugh. Good idea, I will just stand here and sweat.'  I was smiling because of the flashback and the banana milkshake. It was really good, it had the proper amount of milk and banana. Which is hard to get sometimes, I eep telling them at the place where I get my milkshakes that they should have a training session on how to make the proper banana milkshake so it doesn't taste like cereal milk with a banana disc floating in it but they just laugh,

"Oh hey," I laugh nervously as I pull my hand away, wiping it on my pant leg like a magician minus the jazz hands. "Sorry about that, I got lost in a happy place memory and sort of wanted to enjoy it."

Merl looked at me and then to Wiener and back to me, "Okay....." I saw him look to Wiener and Wiener shrugged in return. I don't know what they said to each other but something was.

"listen," Merl continued "Let's put the horn groping behind us and get to your training."

I nodded, "Agree and I wasn't groping. I was in a middle of a dream and your horn was just there. "

"Sure, anyways this is the training area. There is where you will eat, sleep and and train."

"Cool, wait what? Sleep here? Don't I get a room inside without any animal furs or stuffed animals?"

Merl laughed, "No you are staying here too.  We find it helps the rider and his mount  and closer. Become one in a way. Oh and no"

"So you are saying i am sleeping with Wiener under that small house building?"

"That is right."

There was nothing I could say other than, "I guess that is fine.....'"

Oink!

[Catherine]

I could do it, rough it out in the wild and not sleep in a really comfortable bed. Okay there were the stuffed animals and open mouths in the last Norse place I slept in and looking around I am not seeing any of that so this could be good. What is the worse that could happen really? Slugs for one, crawling into my mouth as I sleep. They did it with the dinosaurs so my not a cute monkey girl? Well I have longer arms so I could pull the slug out and go eww.......  Evolution is great!

What else? Rattlesnakes, but I won't have a sleeping bag so no worries there. Any  small animals falling asleep on my face during the night. You would consider that once you woke up with a squirrel passed out on your face. Trust me you will go from waking up yawn to freaking out hoping you don't accidentally gasp and suck the squirrel in and possibly choke.

Let me think of other things.... There is this and that and this one thing and well  that that thing that I heard stories about  and finally wooly worms. Not that I gave anything against wooly worms, they are small and fuzzy and don't  have teeth. Which is a huge plus. My friend told me that he woke up once thinking he had grown a mustache over night until it fell off and crawled away. I don't want a mustache temporary or not. Get enough wooly worms on your face and people think you have a beard. Don't need that either.

I look towards Wiener and give it a wide open armed hug, the only type of hug you can give to a giant potbelly pig, "You are worth it. Let's go look at where we are going to sleep together.

*Pull storytelling handbrake, squeeeeeeeeee."

Sleep in as I will be there and Wiener will be right there. I thought I might have to clarify for those thinking anything dirty. You know who you are and shame on you. We are referring to you who took a perfectly clean scene and dirtied it up. Why would you even think I was referring to it? Ick!  I mean why?

*release storytelling handbrake and pick up hose. I am going to keep my eyes on those dirty minded  people and if they get dirty again they will learn what the business end of a hose can do and how cold the water is.*

It didn't take walking from where we were at to over by the small building to see that we would be taking a dirt nap. No pillows. No blankets. Just a little pile of hay and that is about it.  I give Wiener a little smile, "Well what do you think?"

Oink.

"Me too... I think I have something," I root through my bag and pull out a small painting of a ship floating on water. I am not sure where I got it from and it seems that it just showed up because the story called for it but hey, I am not going to complain. Wait a second, I got an idea.

"Nichole reaches into her bag and pulls out a giant bed that Wiener and herself can sleep on."

I reach into the bag and... It was worth a try. Anyways I put the painting off to the side, "Now it feels like home. Are you ready?"

Oink.

[Catherine]

"Well Merl," I say, patting Wiener, "Where do we start. A little run around the area maybe or one of those trust falls. If we are going to do that I might have to get a forklift or something."

OINK!

"What? No I am not calling you fat. You are just bigger than I am and so if I tried to catch you, I might be smashed that is all."

Oink.

I cross my heart with a hand, "I promise, it is just I don't want to be flattened and I think gravity would be very mean to me."

Standing there I can imagine me standing there in the standard trust fall pose, hands out and ready to catch whoever. As long as they aren't greasy, if they are that it isn't my fault they slip out of my hands.  The room is all dark for some strange reason which I guess is trusting maybe if you really stretch it. I mean you would have to trust the person who is going to catch you won't take off running if someone let's say with a hatchet, comes running out of darkness towards you. Not to hurt you just to scare the dickens out of you. As you go running away screaming with your hands in the air because you just don't care about the person falling backwards anymore until you hear a loud THUMP! When  you turn the man with hatchet is standing there pointing at the person on the floor accusingly like you did something wrong. "What?" You ask as the hatchet man slowly shakes his head, "What? You ran out with the hatchet. I was afraid that you were going to slip and fall. Everyone knows what happens when a person falls with hatchet. The hatchet goes flying and I don't want to split any hairs especially my own!"


Where was I? Oh yeah the black room, for some reason and the fall of trust. A voice comes from nowhere, well over there since it is kind of hard to miss the person standing there. I think I even waved at him as I warmed up. Knee bends and some jump jacks. It is always best to be warmed up when do a trust fall, don't want to get a cramp or pull a hammy at the last moment. The voice telling me that this is a trust exercise so one person learns to trust the other.  I of course gave the thumbs up after getting a little chalk in the hands to keep them dry.

A spotlight kicks on showing me who I am trust fall catching and in mid fall too. I was wondering why the air was rushing past me and I thought someone had maybe put the fan on. Well it wasn't a fan it was a gigantic Potbelly pig! I eeped and by eyes got painfully big as just stood there frozen. What else could I do really? I am pretty sure I couldn't get out of the way in time.

Oink!

Hey I am not calling  you fat you are just overly large, okay that didn't sound much better but I am not calling you fat. Wait a second I am imagining so how can you be knowing what I am imagining.

Oink.

Mindfreak? Pfpht.... Don't say your piggie senses were tingling either. You weren't bitten by a radioactive pig.,h

I did manage to catch Wiener in my dream. My hands were in front of me when Wiener got up. Okay my arms were crushed under them and my hands much like my body was flat but that still counts as catching.

"We are going to do a trust exercise to start out with," Merl answered and my eyes got really big, "Not a trust fall right?"

Oink.

"I am just asking that is all " I said, "No trust falls right?"

Merl shook his head and I mentally wiped my forehead.

Oink

"Just asking...."

[Catherine]

"What we are going to do is," Merl pauses for a moment and there is a loud snap in the air as he whips a hand forwards and a red cloth appeared. I don't know where it came from and I am afraid to ask so I clap. I am hopping that Merl is part magician maybe on his mother's side because if he isn't i am moving the whole where did the cloth come from to need to know basis and I don't need to know.

"Can you pull a coin from behind my ear?"

Merl just looked at me as he snapped the cloth in the air again, "No I can't but what I want you to do is wrap this around your head so you cannot see."

As I reached for the cloth I thought I could see stains on it and I looked at Merl questionably. Was it trust between Wiener and myself or trust in Merl. One of the trusts that you have with someone that you will try something after you see them almost gag on something and then offer it to you telling you to try it and that you will like it. The smell alone sets off all type of alarms and  then there is the looks that sets off a lot more but you try it any way and URP! I urp can't finish the thought. URP! excuse me in a imaginative way as I urp. Oh god even in my imagination it tastes like URP and looks like URP. I need an imagination urp bag!

"Okay so I blindfold myself and then?"

There are so many things that could happen some fun like a piñata, which I looked up for a moment to see if there was one and there wasn't. Then there was the not so fun like a piñata. Which I looked around for and saw nobody hiding with a baseball bat. The saying 'sometimes you are the piñata'  takes on a whole new meaning and I didn't want to be around for that. I could still remember the monster in the woods with the cricket bat and how it made my bottom feel. It cried and saw stars that day and not the stars in the sky either. They were out but my bottom was seeing stars swirling around it instead. I think it made some weird butt vow of never again tasting the wood of a cricket bat and I seconded it since well ick.

"After that," Merl answered, "Your mount will lead you around this area."

"That doesn't sound bad, I expected something more uh...." I say as I start to wrap the cloth around me, "impactful."

In total darkness I stood there, "uh hello?"

Oink.

[Catherine]

"Yeah you say that  but I can't see anything," I answer Wiener with one hand out trying to find him. Which is amazing hard when you have your eyes closed. You are sort of just feeling around and hoping your don't feel something you don't want to feel like the inside of a snout, or a tongue or some other things that shouldn't be felt. Especially with your eyes closed.

"I think I am touching touching Wiener's side," I say before opening my eyes. Eyes open and jaw drops at the same time. "I touched that without wearing a glove?" Of course you dirty minded people and I am not mentioning any names. You, you and you. Like I said I didn't mention any names just pointed to you. Dirty. Dirty. Dirty. You are probably thinking one thing and that is sick. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Ashamed. What I was touching was Wiener's tail. You never touch a piggies tail, everyone knows that. Some type of time/space warp black dwarf hole tear void thingie will open and almost all of reality, except for that piece over there, will be sucked in through a crazy straw and that isn't good. Once you do that you can't call take backs or say you were kidding. Once you pull the piggy tail it is pulled.

Oink.

"Okay I trust you," I say with a hand on Weiner's side, yeah i know I said tail but I also told you the dangers of holding a pig's curly tail so I switched to Wiener's side, less world ending that way really.

Slowly we began to move forward, Wiener oinking every so often letting me know when to step a little higher or to the side. It seemed like it was going pretty good and the walk was nice what with the lite breeze, birds singing and the flowers over there. I wasn't peeking Wiener told me. Saying that they were red and yellow, also that they were bobbing up and down in the breeze.

I asked again and with my eyes closed looked around..Wiener answered with a oink that meant that they were over there. With a nod I turned my head towards over there and nodded, "Those are pretty." It wasn't like I could see them but I could imagine them and what I saw was pretty.

This continued on and on, I am not sure where Wiener was taking me. I told him that I trusted him and if I don't I need too. I pat Wiener on his side as we continue out to somewhere unseen well at least for me.

*nervous imaginary gulp*

This is where the 'friend' steps away leaving you in the darkness. Scared you stand there too afraid to open  your eyes because of the things you aren't hearing and definitely not seeing. That is the worse too, something could be stealthing and I wouldn't know it. No matter how many times I turn around, whatever is not or is out there teasing me with silence. Watching me glisten.  But Wiener doesn't do that in fact he oinks telling me to turn left and walk forward.

All I can do it nod and walk forwards so I do that, humming as I do.

"This is fun, " I tell Wiener cheerfully before he tells me to turn to the left again and start to walk forward again.

"So how was it?  I ask and Merl answers. "Can I open my eyes?"

Oink.


"No, I want to see one more thing before letting you see things."

Oink.

"What he said.," I point Back where I think he is.

[Catherine]

Standing there I get scared, wouldn't you though. I mean I was told to stand there with my eyes closed and Merl had one more thing to try before I can open them. I mean look at my past and all the bottom kicking. "Look at that over there" some have said and kick. "Hey look I think it is time for you to go" or something similar and before I can look at my watch I get a shoe to the butt. So yeah a little nervous now and the numbers don't lie. One hundred percent boot to butt transportation. I am not getting a complex or anything it is just that I am on my toes now. Which might be a benefit for those doing the kicking, I am up in the air more so their foot can be in a better position and they don't have to worry about spraining their ankle.

"Okay...." I say standing there wondering which way am I going to fly. Is it going to hurt when Merl kicks me with his hooves? This is like Christmas or a birthday, you know something is coming and it is for you but this is like a weird mirrored world version of it. Instead of getting something good I am getting something well not good.

I try to relax, try to is the keywords. It is always best to relax when falling so maybe it will help this time but how can I relax, there is just too many unknowns.  I nervously laugh and well reach out to Wiener and pat its side, "There there girl you shouldn't be nervous nothing is going to happen."

Okay I did that more for myself but I don't think it would be have been good if I did that to myself. Maybe since we are suppose to be 'connected' we can speak to each other through thought? Okay that is grasping for straws with that one but on my tippy toes here.

Is a hoof heading to my bottom, I think out loud and mail it to Wiener and wait.

Oink.

Wait? What does that mean? I need some clarification with that one.

Can you clarify, I think and lick the mental  stamp and send.

Oink.

I open my mental mouth to ask for more information and suddenly there is a big BANG right behind my head.

What the? Faint and thump. Fade to black....

[Catherine]

I just float there in the darkness at least there I am safe from getting sacred from behind and passing out again. First it was feet to my butt and now, now it is making me pass out. A girl doesn't like passing out and falling on her face, over and over. Rumors stat and nicknames get made and don't want to be called Miss
a lot. The only thing that saved me from having  a flat nose was being cute and adorable.

*rule number 011* the cute and adorable cannot at any time fall on their face. It is simple, flat noses aren't classified as being cute or adorable. The sudden impact is well sudden and impactful.. listen just don't do it okay?*

See a rule so no falling on the face. It was more of being scared and react accordingly which included includes; tail straightens, eyes get really open, eep and choke on piece of d popcorn. I didn't even have any popcorn and I choked on a piece before slowly bending over and laying down. Oh look a shooting star!. I don't even know where I was going with that but there I am laying on the ground after getting scared.

I guess I should wake up now to see what is going on and he that it doesn't include the following words, being lowered into a pool of lava. Yawn and open eyes.

"What did I miss?"

[Catherine]

I blink and sit up and then immediately sit back down. That's what you do when you sit up right into a giant nostril. Not a giant's nostril because that would have gotten a whole other reaction, one that I am not going to say either just in case any giants are listening. Why rob them of the surprise? Mwhahaha. Okay that came out completely wrong. Anyways..... it wasn't a giant's nostril it was one of Wiener's so easier to slip in and out.

The whole in a nostril thing felt so cave explorer. What with the stalagmites and stalactites over there and what I thought was water dripping until I figured out where I was  and the bats squeaking. That is what got me out of there, the thought of being swarmed by bats and not having the proper amount of room to scream and run trying to get them out of my hair. But I hear the only way to get them out is to cut them out and I like my hair and would hate to see how it would turn out after cutting several of them out. They can just grab on and hold with those tiny little hands. *shiver*

You also have to worry about not getting them all out too. If you don't all you will hear is their screaming all of the time. Which can't be good. Definitely wouldn't be able to listen to your favorite music or talk on the phone because of that. Conference calls would be out because all the other would hear is the screaming and they would think it is a bad connection or something. There would be a lot of 'huh', 'what' and other things in your life.

Then don't have me start on if there is more than one and they start working together. You would swerve everywhere you went because the bats would work together to chase after insects.  Definitely would have to see a chiropractor and maybe get safety pads.

Finally the guano, do I have to say anymore? The top of my shoulders would  be covered at least and yeah ick and no. Some say it is good for the skin, my skin is good enough without guano. I have gone years without out it I am pretty sure I can live without it so not going to start using the cosmetica from da bat bottom. Ick!

So I do what is best and leaned back, out of the swarm zone and performed the proper technique for checking for bats. Slowly patting of the head looking for any leathery winged stow always while nervously laughing. Check behind the ears too, that squeaking you  are hearing isn't the squeaky wheel that needs the oil. After some  testing remember to thank the host and then quietly tippy toe way saying how you enjoy the place with that whole subterranean look. All that was missing was a ring in a pool of water, that would eventually rule them all.

I lay there waiting for someone to show, anyone so I can figure out what the bang was and  why did hat to be right behind me.

[Catherine]

Oink.

"Yeah I know you were just checking on me," I tell Wiener, lifting a hand to pat it on a cheek. "You didn't think I was going to sit up and well fwump. I didn't think I would either. Fifty fifty I guess. But there wasn't any bats so that is good."

Oink.

"Well it is a long story. It is their wings with their tiny little hands that," I pause as picture one in my mind, those little hands reaching out and messing up my hair. "That and I had to fight a person, well I think it was a person.  It was kind of hard to tell really since it was all voidish and it had tentacles and wings with little hands on them."

Oink.

"Voidish? Well the person was like looking into a void. You know all dark without seeing too many features. Creepy in a creepy sort of way since when you try to look into its eyes you don't know where to look which can be awkward sometimes. Then there is the whole when you look into the void it looks back thing so i know it was looking."

Oink.

"Oh I beat it. It took a while too. We meet in a burger joint and then we took it outside to work off what we ate. I tried to steer it away from tentacles and little hands versus hands but it went that way. The whole thing lasted so long that it even tried playing extreme tiddly winks on me."

Oink.

"Right. Right. I even tried that but it threw a sewer lid at me. Which looked painful so.."

Oink.

"What? The usual, metal and about this big," I answer spreading my hands out as I lay thereto the proper sewer lid width.

Oink.

"Yeah it would have definitely hurt if it hit me and I think it embedded itself into a wall behind me."

Oink.

"Wow, you figured that off the top of your head? I am glad you choose me l don't  think any unicorn would have been able to do that. All they can do is ferry around princesses and point. You aren't a unipig are you?"

Oink.

"You would have a horn."

Oink.

"Yeah I know but it sounds better than what it could be. So I am saying unipig, especially since antelope and gazelle are taken."

Oink.

"I see that so you are just a pig. Well not just a pig. You are more than that really."

Oink.

"How would I describe you?  Well... big, loveable, smart and my friend." With that I give Wiener a big hug until I think it blushes. I think pigs can blush if not I was squeezing it a little too much..

The hug was stopped with the clearing of a throat. Oh yeah.... Clearing of the throat  usually means to stop what you are doing and pay attention.

Oink.

"Yeah, we were having a moment..." I answer Wiener giving one more squeeze before letting it go. "Time to bake the donuts."

Oink.

"Yeah I always wanted to say that. Probably should have said something else thing but donuts are always good. Except lemon filled, ick. Anyways let's see what is next."

Oink.

[Catherine]

I flip around and push myself up, waiting for Wiener to move back back of course or my tail might tickle his nose and one achoo later I would be snotted. The blast radius would be limited to me and a little around me and looking at Wiener's snout it would be like being hit by a cannon. Blasted back onto the floor with snot is definitely not on my bucket list, let me check.... learn to juggle puffins, run across a hot street and yeah no.  Nothing about being hit by snot blasts so waiting just long enough so not to trigger it

With  a little move I kick my legs up in front of me and cross them Indian style. I could feel Wiener right behind me moments later, his breath was a clear give away.."What was with the loud noise right  behind me Merl?"

Merl laughed, "that was another trust exercise."

Eyes close a little, "Why kind of trust exercise? I think what it proved is that I can jump if I   Am Scared."

MERL laughed, "That is did but it was suppose to give you both a few minutes alone so you two could share information or something. Which I think you two did"

"I guess, next time give us a warning . Okay? So we can prepare."

"Find, let's be off to the next lesson." Merl answered, swinging his arm up in three standard come too," with that merl was gone and I was alone.

Oink.

Okay not alone

Oink.

[Catherine]

I look around as I stand up, Merl said it was time for the next lesson and then was gone. So what was the lesson? Stand there and look confused, I already do that pretty go. Especially when healthy and cookie are mentioned. Cookies on their own are good but when you add healthy too it and well blah. It is like eating......  well I can't really say eat since once you taste the no taste and feel the whatever the cookie feels like you are automatically trying to find a place to spit it out.

Mom turned that with me once, cookies she yelled out and I was there in a blink of an eye. I could see the cookie there and yeah they looked  little odd but cookies. The name alone gives them a benefit of the doubt but my tongue stopped working as soon as the cookie slipped into my mouth. "Whab id ibs?" I asked her, my mouth a little open hoping something like a bird would fly by and take whatever that was in my mouth out. My mom turned and answered that they were healthy cookies, two words that should never be put together. "Id tabd goba momb," I answered back, glistening a little.in that instance mom's smile grew so yeah....

[pause for readers to think.]

I did what any daughter would do, look confused and motion for mom to.look away with a "What is that?" She turned of course and I got out of there, depositing the 'cookie' in the dogs food dish. All good in my book and I learned a lesson that day, mom is trying to nature me!

Also to find out what cookies are being baked. If their healthy ones, slip them out and let someone who did something wrong eat those. I was fooled once and well two more times, no more!

This was definitely a not a cookie cookie moment, without the tear of course. So that is what I did, stand and had a not a cookie cookie moment, "Hello? What are we suppose to do?"

"Oink."

"Yeah I know, suppose to be a lesson and we got this.

"Oink"

"Hello?"

"Oink"

In the next instant we both heard Merl, well Merl Imitating batman, "The next lesson is to work together and find me......"

"Oink"

"Yeah let's go find him." I really didn't know how this would be a lesson but curiosity piqued and means I am interested.

I switch my hat to the imaginary deerstalker hat and pull out the imaginary pipe, bubble of course, stick it in my mouth.

"Let's get sleuthing...." okay that wasn't the best, the next one will be better.

Oink.

[Catherine]

I look at Wiener and shrug and he somehow shrugged back. Neither of us knew how trying to find Merl would bring us together. Usually when you try to find someone it is best to split up and cover as much ground as possible. Not to stay together and look all over. Yes together we could cover the really high places and the really low ones but, I look around in the area where we were at and didn't see too many places to hide at. On top of small building and behind the birds that were giving me a look.

Unconsciously I bring a hand up and wipe my nose. Nothing but why were the birds looking at me? It isn't like I am a cat girl. Monkey pure and simple. I can prove it with a  blood test or a lie detector.

"Name please."

"Nichole Anne Marie Smith."

The little hand doesn't do anything. Like I would lie about my name.

"Sex and age"

"Female and [censor age, you never ask a girl two things. Her weight, which my weight is just right for myself.  Then her age. Everyone knows that.]

Again nothing on the machine. Yawn. Boring.

"Did you take the cookie from the cookie jar that one time?"

"That is pretty vague since there is a lot of those one times. But no I didn't take it that one time a bird flew in a took it. I watched it happen."

The machine goes wild and I see the man  shake his hand and mark the paper with a red marker which is never good. Shaking of the head is one thing but adding a red mark is taking everything to the next level.
.
"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, a bird flew in and after eating a cookie spit some crumbs on me"

The machine goes wild again and the guy marks the paper with the red marker again!

Concerned I would have to ask, "is there something wrong with your machine? If so I can wait until you go get another one." I say giving the guy a smile.

"No we are alright."

I nervously glisten standing there, what the guy said wasn't the right answer...."oh okay...."

"Next question, are you a cat girl?"

"No, no I am not and that is a good thing because if I was my parents would be mad at me since I would be scratching at the curtains and furniture. Also have a thing for catnip and I have heard once you get on that that stuff it is hard to get off." Of course the machine does nothing, if it started to do something it wouldn't be a lie detector it would simply be lying and it would get the look.  Mouth dropped open and no blinking. No  that isn't it, it would be eyes narrowing and the power sign of putting on point, two  fingers pointing at my eyes and then with a flick of my wrist one pointing at the lie detector. That little pen thingie would quiver.

"A chameleon girl?"

"No! I don't have scales or those weird eyes." Nothing from the machine of course.

"A bass girl?"

"I don't have fins or the mouth to pull that off."  Eyes shoot down to the machine just to make sure it wasn't going to try anything. "Where are you getting these? Because it is getting a little strange and could you maybe turn more lights on? This whole single little hanging above the machine is getting creepy."

"Sorry. Only I can ask the questions here and we only have the one light here. Doing more throws everything off. How about porcupine?"

"What? How? No! Do I have the hair for that?" The machine yawns I think because it doesn't do anything and is getting bored.

"Again, only I can ask for questions here.  A baboon girl?"

"Close but no. Does my butt scream baboon?" My eyes narrow, "Watch what you answer too."

"Like I keep saying, I ask the questions here. How about monkey girl?"

"Oh my monkey, yes!"

See like I said I would do a lie detector test for being  a monkey girl. Blood test I might need to be woken up after getting the blood taaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............

THUMP!


((It ended with a THUMP!))

[Catherine]

"What just," I start to ask as I pick myself off the ground, memories of what just happened play in my head. "Okay you don't have to tell me. I just got the flashback and remember." My arm goes weak for a moment when I remember the hospital and blood and....... Quickly I catch myself and shake my head trying to clear my head an to stop thinking about what almost made me pass out again. I need to stop thinking about  it or I will pass out again,

"Blood, head. Like a someone squeezed a leech. Pop and blood all over it was the prettiest of scenes at all.. I take moment and breathe, that should help the butterflies in my stomach. Suck in, hold and exhale.

"Ok where do you think we should start?" I ask Wiener as I stand up. He looks around for a minute or two to see if he could find hide or hair of Merl. It didn't take long before Wiener just shrugged and oinked.

"Yeah me neither. You would think we would see him  somewhere but nope. No signs of Merl" I could try something, to see, before anyone gets jumped.

Hand comes up to mouth and, "Is anyone out there?" It was a test really, of the monkey girl broadcasting system and didn't expect any type of response. It would have ruined the whole lesson I would think if Merl answers back with an "yeah, over here." Although I would proudly point with a follow up of "ah ha" and if I can work it out with a short round a dramatic light showing from behind me. No slow moving doves since that would be overkill and they would get in the way.

"Indubitably," i nod, it a mix of approval and other things, kneel down and pick a blade of grass or two before standing up and letting them fall. A breeze kicking up at just the right moment to catch the grass blades and make them dance away.

The sound of a violin starts to fill the air as it gets louder to add to the scene. Oops sorry, not sure how that started to play. Quickly and quite embarrassed I pull out my MP3 and fiddle with it turning the sound of the violin playing off. It did add to the scene though.

My eyes slowly dart like ninjas across the area looking for any clues, taking everything in and categorizing them.

"Let us go my dear Wiener, keeping your senses about you.  Hiding is a hoof."

[Catherine]

Oink.

"Yeah I know, " I answer Wiener, "I was going for a play of words. Merl has hooves and everything."

Oink.

"Okay, okay. The next time I will let you come up with something. But it takes practice you know, to come up with the good ones if not it is sort of blah."

Oink.

I nod, holding my imaginary pipe as I do, "I agree." My eyes are still set on the birds sitting on the fence. Something is off with them but I can't figure out what other than they have singled me out for their bird stares. Have I wronged one of them? I look at them little closer, raising an eyebrow to help with making out any details. Why that works is beyond me but all of the big detectives do it, especially when they are looking for things. Raise the eyebrow and things pop out. What you missed before is visible sort of.

The eyebrow raise helps in interrogating too. Raise the eyebrow and things go to the next level and some even break.

"Were you there that night?"

"I was somewhere but I will never tell you."

"Really?" I raise my eyebrow, making sure it is seen.

"I was at my friend's and didn't tip the cow. We were watching reruns and eating an okay pizza that had too much cheese on it."

Slowly I lower my eyebrow, "Thank you for the information.. you may go."

But I am just using it to scope out the birds who are just starring. I take a puff off my imaginary pipe and motion in their general direction with it. What is off with them? Beak check. Legs check! Wings check! Feathers check! staring eyes check!

But something is....There is only one thing left to do. Imaginary pipe of mouth Out and "Get away shoo shoo!"

The birds laugh I think but fly away. The shoo shoo crowd dispersion technique worked, sometimes the proper hand movements need to be added to it but this time they weren't necessary.

*proud pose*


((Oh you know something is good if there is a proud pose))

[Catherine]

Okay now we know that Merl isn't hiding behind the birds in some type of origami position. One foot there, another over there, now take my arm and bend it this way while the other goes this other way. It is painful and ow, hard on the back but worth it. Crack! Okay I think I needed that vertebrate.

I look around the rest of the area. There wasn't a lot of places where Merl could hide now with the birds gone. On top of the small building, maybe over there and if he is really good at hiding behind the lawn gnome over there..

"Do you think we should check," motioning with my head towards the building. Wiener just nodded once, at least I think it was a nod sometimes I think I could be something else. Maybe he is bored and falls asleep for a moment but then catches himself before slamming his chin into the ground. Every one knows what happens when you do that, that is right you bite your tongue. Which hurts!

"You think?"

Oink.

Let's go," I say as both of us walk over to the building. Nothing has changed yet. Which  is good if you think, I haven't been gone really so how could anyone change anything? Picture there and that is about it..no one here as far as I can tell but I do some hand movement at Wiener and he nods. Then starts to kneel.

"Elevator time...." There is no way Merl imagined  this ever happening. The look  on his face will be priceless.   I hop up onto Wiener and ding, first floor little people with hooves.