Perverted Wishes

[the taken]

Wish Granted! You now have a box like that which would contain a wedding ring, but instead has a button that when pushed will dissolve the company behind Time magazine.

I wish I was on the cover of Time magazine, issue titled "Best Person Ever!"

[HockeyGod]

Done! But it was in 1917 and you're now six feet under.

I wish it was fall.

[GeekFury]

Wish granted, speeding time up as caused serious effects to the enviroment and the world is now dieing faster than it should be.

I wish the Ananeim Duck will win the Stanley C.up

[HockeyGod]

Granted, but hell has frozen over and we die.

I wish you would make me dinner.

[GeekFury]

Wish granted, you get food poisoning as I'm an awful cook.

I wish I could think of something to wish for..

[Prefect Mos]

All of a Sudden your self loathing pops up, and in an unscripted moment of terror were you cant remember how you got from point a to point be your cock and balls are in the Cuisinart being rendered from your body.


I'd like to buy the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow white turtle doves.

Chorus:
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing.

(Repeat chorus)
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing

Chorus 2:
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing

(Repeat chorus 2)
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing

I'd like to teach the world to sing
Sing with me (background)
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing

(Repeat chorus)
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to buy the world a Coke
And keep it company
That's the real thing.

(Chorus 2)
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing

(Repeat chorus 2)
What the world wants today
Coca-Cola (background)
Is the real thing

[Zebu]

Granted!  But you, personally, get cut from the final version because you don't fit the company version of a perfect world.

I wish I knew why the 1-2 post title was "Olive Oil."

[Prefect Mos]

Wish granted.. but know one else gets it...

I wish healthy food was tastier.

[the taken]

Wish Grated! All health food comes with tongues now, to taste you better.

I wish for a big bronze statue of myself.

[Zebu]

Wish granted!  You're dipped in bronze and put on a pedestal.  The masses gawk at you.

I wish I was a God.

[the taken]

Wish Granted! You are the patron deity of mouldy leftovers. Nobody prays to you.

I wish I got an award for counting to infinity that one time.

[Prefect Mos]

Your wish works perfectly , your reward is that you do absolutely nothing and experience nothing ever, even after the end of time itself.

I wish  that a sexy female french maid, who has enough of a grip on the English language that we could teach each other the ins and outs of communication between each other , would be introduced to me after a break up with her current master / bf , and need to get married soon in order to stay in the country, we do , and quickly fall in actual love and lust, passing the us immigration scrutiny, and have many many happy years together. 

[Zebu]

Your wish is granted.  One night while you're out near a bar, a man beats you up to show off for his submissive French immigrant girlfriend.  He injures you severely, causing her to leave him.  A doctor introduces her to you as the person who brought you to the hospital.  You marry out of mutual love and lust.  You have many happy years together; the only blight on your happiness is the injuries you sustained the first time you saw her--  you're blind, quadriplegic, and no longer have a sense of touch.  With the amount and type of medications you have to take, you would be happy with a gorilla.

I wish I had a really good meal tonight.

[the taken]

Wish Granted! You go out to a ten star restaurant and order the lobster tortellini. After an amazing seven course, you go to pay only to discover that you're way too poor to even afford the waiter's shoes, let alone the meal you have eaten. You now have to spend ten years washing dishes, at another restaurant entirely, to pay off your debt.

I wish my can opener worked so that I can have the launch I wanted.

[TheLovelyMaid]

Wish Granted!  But it breaks again, right before you go to launch!

I wish it were summer vacation already.

[Lucius Cornelius]

wish granted, but sadly your boss call you, you have to work all the summer

wish finish the work and go to sleep.

[the taken]

Wish Granted! Your work is done and you fall asleep. However, due to your state if drowsiness, it is full of errors. Your are fired next time you supervisor checks your work, which is in 5... 4... 3...

I really wish I had something to eat right now.

[GeekFury]

Wish granted but it's roast spiders and fried maggots, enjoy!

I wish knew how to ice skate

[the taken]

Wish Granted! You know how to ice skate. Now go develop the muscle memory and balance to actually do it!

I wish for some peppers to go with these bugs.

[Merry Gentry]

Granted, but they are rotten on the inside and you don't realize it till you take a bite

I wish for summer to be here

[Zebu]

Granted-- summer is here (don't I know it) but you aren't.  Sorry.

I wish all of my wishes turned out exactly how I want them to.

[TheLovelyMaid]

Wish Granted!  But then no one else would respond in this thread.

I wish my computer would function correctly.

[the taken]

Wish Granted! But now the keyboard isn't working properly.

I wish for a key chain made in m image.

[GeekFury]

Wish granted, but now you habe a metal ring throufgh yure head attached to giant keys.

I wish for a Lantern Ring!

[bytchboii21690]

granted but now everyone who looks at you becomes permanently blind

I wish to be transformed from the sissy man that i am to a beautiful woman