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Perverted Wishes

Started by Ellyssa, September 15, 2006, 11:50:39 AM

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xXStarlightXx

You do but now night time is only one hour long.  Have fun.


I wish I could make love for hours and not get tired.

Inkidu

Granted but your lover has no such boon and gets tired of the constant sex, and the damaged it does to his man parts. He soon leaves you.

I wish I had a legal, legit copy of Bully: Scholarship Edition for the Xbox 360.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

jstarz

Granted, but a moral panic develops around that game and it is seized by "concerned parents" and burned.

I wish stadium popcorn wasn't so buttery and salty.

Paradox

Granted, but you suck at life.

I wish humans didn't have to sleep a full eight hours to achieve the benefits of a good night's rest.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

dart

granted. some humans can now sustain themselves with only four hours of sleep...(myself included)

I wish I could finally figure out how to finish one of my 7 story's.

Paradox

(How was that a perversion of my wish? All you did was grant it. You have to modify it so that it isn't a good thing.)


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

MusicNeverDies

Quote from: Paradox on August 27, 2008, 01:09:50 PM
(How was that a perversion of my wish? All you did was grant it. You have to modify it so that it isn't a good thing.)
(I think he means some can- but not you. )

Paradox

*drools over Music's post number*

Mmmm...same upside down as it is right side up...

*ahem* I concede your point; still, it's not all that perverted.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Idej

I'll grant two wishes all in one post.

Granted, humans can now sleep for four hours instead of one, but their lifespans are now cut in half since their number of hours of sleep has been cut in half.

Granted, you finish one of your stories, but the ending is so horrible, that anyone who reads has the urge to maim you for how lame the ending is.

I wish for eternal youth.


CaptainErotica

Granted. You remain young and healthy for all eternity while everyone you ever love or care grows old and dies.

I wish for World Peace.

Inkidu

Granted for one glorious day all the nations and peoples of the world come together in perfect harmony.
The next day North Korea says something about Syria's mother and World War III erupts.

I wish I could by the world a coke.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Paradox

Quote from: Inkidu on August 29, 2008, 07:01:15 AM
Granted for one glorious day all the nations and peoples of the world come together in perfect harmony.
The next day North Korea says something about Syria's mother and World War III erupts.

I wish I could by the world a coke.

Hahahahahah.

Granted, but you can't find a straw large enough for the world to snort it with.

I wish I had a paintbrush that could paint things into reality.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

MusicNeverDies

Granted, but once they leave the page they instantly melt into mush.

I wish that I could control time.


Inkidu

Granted but you instantly create a paradox and destroy all of existence.

I wish I won a legal and legitimate PS3. Because there no way I'm forking over the money to actually buy one.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

jstarz

Granted but as soon as its delivered Sony announces a mandatory product recall of all PS3s.

I wish Tyrod Taylor wasn't going to be redshirted this year.

CaptainErotica

 Granted...whoever he is, but he will be playing for your teams arc rival.

I wish Love was a 5 letter word.

Kalen

You discover that it is, but you're forced to speak french for the rest of eternity.

I wish that I had a sidekick!

MusicNeverDies

Granted, but he won't stop trying to get in your pants.

I wish I could watch that.

Paradox

Quote from: Kalen on August 29, 2008, 11:44:58 AM
You discover that it is, but you're forced to speak french for the rest of eternity.

Kalen, even for a perverted wish, that's just sick.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Inkidu

Granted. It comes out on DVD as the hottest thing since sliced bread. Unfortunately the sidekick believes this is defamation of his character and sues everyone who bought the DVD. You are now in debt of roughly two million dollars.

I wish, I wish I was a fish.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

CaptainErotica

 Granted. You are now a giant Bass, but wait! Is that a juicy looking worm floating on the surface?

I want to be a Chip N Dale

Paradox

Granted. Now you have split personalities. One is named Chip, the other is named Dale.

Oh, did you mean chippendale? Too late!

I wish my ink cartridges never ran out.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

CaptainErotica

Granted, but you have to pay $15/ month to use it.

I wish my desktop was working.

MusicNeverDies

Granted, but it gets repossessed.

I wish Disney hadn't warped my perception of relationships.

jstarz

Granted, but now Disney movies routinely feature apathy, heartbreak, neglect, and teach kids a general cynicism towards life. I hope you're happy.

I wish the next poster gets abducted by aliens.