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Welcome to the Magic Show!!

Started by MagicalMayham, October 01, 2013, 09:56:18 PM

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MagicalMayham

Hello I am Magical Mayham, It is very nice to meet you [you] and this is my thread. A couple requests. 1) Don't be rude. 2) No text talk. 3) Don't post here, PM me please. 4) Don't Message me and show interest then stop talking to me. It hurts my feelings. 5) No Homosexual stuff, I don't swing that way. 6) If you have a plot please tell me.
I only post through PM's or Threads. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Now let the show begin. First, Kinks and Big No Nos and then some interesting Match ups, Finally some plots of my own creation. (Or that I ask to borrow and the creator let me use.)

FYI: Any plots/Pairings in orange means I am already playing or at least in discussion with someone over the plot and will be open to a limited few others.

Yes's
+Spanking
+Biting
+Foreplay
+Bondage


No's
-Blood
-Gore
-Mutilation
-Feces
-Watersports


Ok, now with all of that out of the way lets get to my RP ideas.


ME/YOU
Student/Teacher
Popular chick/Nerd
Nerd/Jock
Shy Girl/ Bad boy
Witch/Witch Hunter
Angel/ Human
Angel/ Werewolf
Angel/Demon
Angel/Vampire
Human/Angel
Human/Demon
Human/Vampire
Human/Werewolf
Half Demon/Full demon
Half Demon/Vampire
Half Demon/Angel
Half Demon/Werewolf
Vampire/Human
Vampire/Demon
Vampire/Werewolf
Vampire/Angel
Fairy/Human
Human/Elf
Human/Greek God
Greek Goddess/Human
Goddess/God
Criminal/Bounty hunter
Criminal/Police
Criminal/Criminal
Elemental/Human
Human/Elemental
Superhero/Villain
Employee/Boss
Younger Sister/Older Brother
Niece/Uncle
Twincest

ETC.

Fandoms:
Books:
Vampire Academy
Immortal Interments
Hunger Games
Harry Potter
The Ghosts (a series by Jonathan Moeller)
Hollows
Beautiful Creatures

Movies/Tv Shows:
Castle
Mentalist
Once Upon A Time
Grimm
Defiance
Revolution

X-Men (<--- If you play this with me I will love you forever!)

Games:
Tomb Raider
Bio Shock
Fable

I would only play and OC but I don't care if you play and OC or a Canon.





Magic Themed
1)The Tattoo Parlor
In an alternate reality there are special people with abilities known as crafts in which they can use to get jobs and make the world better. The only thing is each person with a craft has to have it registered with the government and their craft must be deemed safe for the public. If someone with a craft is found to be using it for their own gain without having it registered they are put to death even if all it is minor healing ability.

On the edge of the nations capital is a bunch of rundown buildings, they are old and most from before the first world war. The frames of the buildings are iron and because of this one of the safer looking buildings has became the home of a young adult, she looks like an average girl but she is the sole owner of the building and from it runs a tattoo shop which many people come too just because her tattoos are always the most intricate and beautiful. Little do they know she is an unregistered craft user, her craft has to do with all things iron and she makes her own ink that is mixed with very fine iron dust which she uses to move the ink in her customer as too give them the best tattoo.

She doesn't know it as of yet but she is under investigation for illegal craft use though the government isn't certain so they are sending their best agent undercover to rent the room above her shop. She thinks the man is just down on his luck and being the sweet young woman she is she willingly rents the room to him. Now he has to gather information on the girl all while trying not to become attached to her as she tries to hide her secret.



2)Magic Show
In a small underground club sits a fragile girl, Magic is forbidden but there are always places to go to see it preformed. On stage was a small boy, around his neck was a collar to keep his power at bay until commanded and he stared blank eyed up at a greedy man. The man nods at the boy who then starts to sing, every person in the room starts taking off any valuables and putting them on stage. The girl in the corner sighs and snaps her fingers, a burst of flames erupts around the boy causing him to scream and for people to realize that the show was a hoax to get their money and jewels. Watching as the man and child run from the club with an angry mob and their heels the girl gracefully slides from the stool and picks up her dirty bag and her leather violin case. One thing the girl hated more then Magic hunters and slavers were magic users who used their gift to their own advantage.

In the corner, hidden by darkness was a man. He was greedy for power and had recently gained an amulet that would allow him to still magical powers. He had seen the girls brief display of power and had felt a longing to control it. Following her out of the club he waits to pounce, once she dipped into a dark alley way he grabbed her by her long platinum hair, pulling her close he set the clear jewel to her chest. A swearing pain went through the girl as a blood curdling scream left her bow shaped lips, A man dressed in all black stabs the greedy man in the back and smiles at the panting girl on the wet ground. His eyes were cold as he took in her figure, he had been chasing her for three years. Ever sense she 'accidently' set a child molester on fire in her home towns city square. Reaching down to grab her he was meet with a swearing pain as she conjured a ring of fire around her. Momentary blinding the man, she ran. She slipped through alley ways and backyards, finding a child's play house to stay the night.

Leaving early she was able to make it to a nearby forest and she traveled deeper and deeper in hopes to once again allude the magic hunter, the man was an elite. A magic bearer who uses his power to capture other magic users. Hiding in a small cave she hoped that he was gone for good, little did she know that he was and in his place the top elite was now on her trail because the other tracker and failed to many times at bringing the feisty little girl.




3) Halloween
It was like any other Halloween but this time the girl decided to dress up like a witch, he family had always had small amounts of power so she decided to play a small joke. She pulled on sheer black thigh highs, a black tutu that had raven feathers sewn on the outside and black pumps. She then pulled on a beige colored swim suit top and a red sweat shirt with raven feathers and onyx beads sewn on one should, the other sleeve had been removed. Doing her make up carefully she looked at herself before smiling and pulling the hood over her black pixie cut hair. Looking in the old wooden box she frowned, she was unsure as to put on the old necklace. It was said to be one of her ancestors who had been cursed so the next of her blood that wore it would be punished for her crimes.

Deciding it had to a legend she clasped it around her neck and felt her own power get added to by the ancient powers that resided in the amulet. A scream was stuck in her throat as pain started to roll through her delicate body. He last thoughts before blacking out was that 17 was too young to die. When her eyes fluttered open she saw a beast of a man, he stood so she couldn't see his face but a rumbling voice washed over her. "I promised Manervia I would have my revenge, though you have no clue what I am talking about do you?" He said. The girl was shaking and looking for away to escape, "Well, I will still have it for it to happen I must send you to a world were I can still exist." Pain rippled through the girl once again.

Waking up she found herself in a field of wild grass and she could hear chanting not far away. Walking toward it she saw a young girl on a platform were men were using her, while woman chanted words that the girl could now recognize was an offering spell. Realization dawned on the girl that the group was offering the life of the girl on the alter and her unborn child to their unseen God. "You are scared little Manervia?" the rumbling voice asked with amusement. Turning to face him with tears on her face she nodded before fainting.



4)Heros
The CIA as a special force simply known as the Hero force. It is made up with people with powers, they are tasked with saving the world when the world needs saving. In the middle of no where is the training ground, home, and safe place for the team. Not all are there willingly but all understand why they are there. When an Ex-Con arrives it causes a stir, the Leader of the force trys to get everyone to get along but everyone is against him being in the house. Deciding it would be best if the Ex-Con is sent to a different house the Leader sends the man to a smaller house with one other occupant. A teenage girl, she is small, fair, feisty, and naïve. She is the Hero Forces star and known as the Elemental for her power is complete control over the elements. She is also dangerous because extreme emotions can send her powers into over drive, the reason she is left alone in a small house.

The arrival of the newest Hero and Ex-Con sends her for a tail spin but she doesn't say anything just leaves him be. She doesn't much care that the rumors say he is going to be the new star of that he is invading her space, she just wants to be alone. Apparently though its hard to ignore him when they live together in a small two bedroom cabin in the middle of the woods nor does he want to leave her alone sense he wants to see if she is really as strong as everyone says.
Rebellion against a tyrant is obedience to God. ~Benjamin Franklin
In this world its not faith that saves us but Defiance. ~Benjamin Franklin
Sex.  In America an obsession.  In other parts of the world a fact.  ~Marlene Dietrich
To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.  ~Don Schrader
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  ~Abraham Lincoln

MagicalMayham

#1
Pirates

Just so you know, I love pirates. Almost more then magic so anyone willing to play a pirate themed RP with me will be my best friend. :) If your willing to mix magic with it....I might just sell you my soul.

Kidding, not my soul but I would love you forever.




1) The Sea Wolf
The Sea Wolf is a pirate ship that is run by a Capitan only known as Bloody Jack, no one knows where they came from or even were the dock when they are not pillaging the seven seas. All they know is that Cap'n Bloody Jack is a ruthless killer and only spared people if they stood down. Rumors are spreading that the Cap'n is a female but no one had ever proven it and all the survivors of the Sea Wolfs raids say that if the Cap'n was female not as many souls would meet their end on the hard wooden decks of the ships that they were trying to save.

Little over a three day sail from the mainland (can decide which country later) sits a little island, its remote and quite. No docks to be seen and over grown with rich thick jungle, on the southern side is a stream. Wide enough to sail if it wasn't covered by dense tree limbs, little does anyone know that the tree limbs are very pliable. So pliable in fact that a ship could easily pass through with out getting harmed, But Bloody Jack figured it out and brought her men back to it. They brought their families and for years they had lived their in between raids. They adopted children and the survivors of other pirate attacks and by doing so have made a decent little community in the middle of the jungled island with the trees and ocean to protect them.

One day though another ship is blown towards the island has to dock not far from, using their row boats the Capitan of the other ship and the crew make camp on the beach. Moving deep into the jungle in search of fresh food and water the stumble on to the little village. Some of the men capture the crew and the Capitan, taking them to Jack. All the men know that if they say the wrong thing then they are dead and pray that Jack is as merciful to them as he is to the people on board the ships he attacks that surrender.



My inspiration for Bloody Jack
YOUNGER JACK


OLDER JACK


The younger one I see as 19-21 and the older one 25-27 and I am will to use either for the RP



2) Captive
She was a beautiful girl, full of spunk and an adventuress spirit. Her father had long stopped trying to tame her and make her a lady, instead he allowed her to learn to sword fight, to work on his ships, and to even Co Captain them. Not only was she surprisingly good but the men accepted her, not because she was their Captains daughter but because she didn't expect to be treated differently, she worked hard to gain the position as Co captain and didn't ever rub it in any of the older males faces. Maybe it was because they understood the need to be free or because they hadn't ever met a girl like her but they all soon came to enjoy her company as more then a respected individual. While on the open sea they took special precaution with her, when ever another vessel sailed by she was to keep low incase it was pirates. The men had even made a special hiding spot in her quarters so if they were attacked she could be safe. One day a large storm hit them, forcing them to dock in an unsavory location for repairs. Both the crew and her father told her she wasn't allowed to leave the ship unless accompanied by a couple men to protect her. That wasn't to her liking, but then again her men should have known better then to tell her to do something. Direct orders always made her want to rebel, of course she couldn't get past them so she asked to go to shore and while the men got drunk at a pub she snuck off.

She thought to see the sites and get some cloth for a couple new outfits sense her clothing was growing either to thin or was too small, she didn't expect to get cornered by a large man with bad breath or to be saved by an equally large man dressed finely. Apprehensive of the scuffle she tried to sneak away only to be pulled back roughly by her scruff. Luckily she was able to get away but her hat wasn't so lucky, allowing the large man a clear view of her bright red curls. Ducking through alleyways and open houses she was able to escape and snatch a new hat on the way. Instead of heading back to the men she had ditched or back to the ship she entered a cloth shop and got what she had came for. Carrying the packages carefully she was able to make it back to the ship without anymore trouble.

Once on the ship things went back to normal, she apologized to her father and the men saying that she needed things that embarrassed her to get in front of them and that she didn't get into any danger. A few days later the sail safely away, and the girl didn't think about her encounter again. Weeks later a ship came into a view and her father panicked, the sails were that of a well known Pirate and her father couldn't afford to lose anymore merchandise then what they had already lost in the storm. Sending her to her quarters the girl grips her sword and gun tightly listening to the voices above her, her hiding place was located in her closet, a small hatch lead to a small crawl space where she could hide. It was also right below the main deck. She listened as her father pleaded for the pirate to take the supplies they had, sense it was only a couple more days to the next port, but to leave the merchandise because he had already lost so much. She listened as the Pirate laughed but agreed saying seeing her father on his hands and knees pleading had pleased him. She listened to scuffling and as the pirates crew unloaded their supplies. Once all movement was silent and she could hear her father speaking in low tones to the crew she climbed out of her hiding space and crept up to the main deck making sure to be viligiant. Before entering the deck she peaked out only to hear her father yell and to have the door yanked open, there stood the large man who had saved her from the drunk. He was smiling with an amused look on his face, turning to her father the Pirate scolded him for keeping such a raw jewel from him. Yanking her close her pulled off her hat and roared with laughter as her father and crew all jumped toward him only to be blocked by the pirates. Pulling the girl behind him the pirate bid farewell to the stricken merchant and set sail. 
Rebellion against a tyrant is obedience to God. ~Benjamin Franklin
In this world its not faith that saves us but Defiance. ~Benjamin Franklin
Sex.  In America an obsession.  In other parts of the world a fact.  ~Marlene Dietrich
To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.  ~Don Schrader
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  ~Abraham Lincoln

MagicalMayham

#2
Angel Demon Roleplay

1)The war
There is a delicate looking girl, Completely normal with long silvery blond hair and teal eyes. She is an outsider, a loner, a freak even some say. She doesn't follow the norms of high school life and likes it that way, She was never invited to parties and though reasonably pretty she wasn't ever asked out or part of the popular crowd. For one simple reason, she was believed to be insane, or a murderer. Both are popular theories because everything she paints in art class happens, her paintings though amazing are disturbing in which how graphic the details or each crime scene, murder, and accident that happens. People of her small town believe her family are witches, which would explain her psychic abilities and how sometimes she is at the right place at the right time to save people lives but it doesn't explain her own fear over her abilities.

Anyone who knew her, basically only her mother and grandparents, would know that she only started being able to see into the future the start of her freshmen year. It was when she first meet the boy, she cant remember what he looks like or where she met him but she remembers meeting him and telling her that she was meant for something special. Several times he has came to her, telling her to keep going she is making a change in the world. She isn't so sure but she only gets good vibes from him so she does, she keeps her head up and she continues painting so everyone can see what she knows and maybe somebody will be able to stop what she sees.

One cold afternoon she sits outside with a bare canvas and hundreds of paint bottles, she could feel a vision on the edge of her mind. When it hit her eyes glazed over and her hand started to move. Hours pass and she 'wakes' up, her eyes grow large when she sees the painting. It shows a woman with long silky hair and large white wings running from shadows through a forest. In her arms is a little boy with black hair, the angels wings were torn and tentacles of darkness were reaching for her hair, wings, and legs.

The girl pushed away from her canvas and looked around. Never had she ever painted anything that wasn't real which meant this painting would come true and it would soon.  Her teal eyes darted to the forest were she saw a figure draped in shadows and she saw them start to come at her. A scream rips from her throat as the boy darts in front of her, large golden wings sprouting from his back and a large sword in his hand that glowed the same bright light as he did. The figure, she saw, darted back but the shadows darted closer now aggressive instead of stalking. The boys sent a flash of light at the figure and the figure and shadows disappeared. "We have to go. Stand" he commanded and started to walk, only then did the teal eyed girl realize that she wasn't dealing with a simple psychic power. She was dealing with a world she wasn't prepared to face.

(This Roleplay would need my partner to play 'the boy' who would be an angel and 'the figure' who is a demon.)



2)Fallen
Many cultures see Azrael as a male angel, he is the keeper of the book of death. Only He is a he, hes a she. A very beautiful girl who has lived a very long time. She long ago left Heaven to live on earth for no other reason then she was sick of being scolded when a young child died. She didn't pick and choose who lived, who died. She just wrote the name when it entered her head and soon after ward she would go collect their souls from the earthly plane. Azrael has long stopped using her heavenly name, she hides her wings and lives her life out wandering from one city to the next guiding souls to either the gates of heaven or hell. One day though she meets a man who gives off the aura of being dead but she cant remember ever taking him, ever writing his name down. After talking to a few of her good friends she finds he is a fallen angel, one who through the law of God should be chained in the underworld. One who she through the simple sense that she is a Angel should kill on sight but instead she is curious about him, why he isn't causing trouble where he goes and why he seems to be trying his hardest to stay away from her. But no one can hide from death for long.

So the chase begins.

(So I rather want the fallen angel to be Rahab - fallen angel of pride whose name means "violence.", which would explain why she is so courious why he isn't making trouble but he can be going by a different name as my character will be. Its going to be long term and full of romance and dangerous situations... Him running her chasing. Her getting in trouble him having to save her but all in all its all up to my partner how this works out.)
Rebellion against a tyrant is obedience to God. ~Benjamin Franklin
In this world its not faith that saves us but Defiance. ~Benjamin Franklin
Sex.  In America an obsession.  In other parts of the world a fact.  ~Marlene Dietrich
To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.  ~Don Schrader
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  ~Abraham Lincoln

MagicalMayham

#3
Normal/Realistic

1)Neglected
Inspired by the song Miss Invisible by Marie Digby

Always over looked and hurt the little girl sits on the curb waiting for her mother who once again was late, Her mousy brown hair hung in a messy braid down her thin back. The glasses were to big for her delicate face and her old clothes hung on her tiny frame. Tears slowly started to drip down her face, none of the older kids even looked at her as they hopped in to their parents cars or started walking home. The little girls head was on her knees and she stopped paying attention to her surroundings, feeling a tap on her shoulder her head shot up and she saw a boy about three years older then herself. Her doe like green eyes got wide behind her glasses as she watched as he offered her his hand, a sweet smile on his face. "Let me walk you home, you have been waiting here for awhile." He said in a slightly squeaky voice of a preteen boy. Nodding shyly the little girl took his hand and allowed him to walk her home, she peaked at him once or twice and could see his face grow more and more worried as she lead him deeper and deeper into the bad part of their small town. Finally she stopped at a run down building that could barley pass as a house, smiling up at him she motioned for him to wait.

Padding inside the little girl went in search of her mother, she found the pudgy woman passed out on her bed. Sighing the little girl picked up her mothers cell phone and walked outside, her eyes sad. "Here, you should call for a ride or else you might get hurt on your way home." She said barley above a whisper. This was the start of the friendship between the lonely little girl and the Golden Boy, who had everything he wanted. Slowly but surly he got her to open up and she practically lived with him within a year, they were best friends by the start of her freshmen year and she was madly in love with him. She was still a plain jane but he had gotten her active so while he played football she was in soccer, he ran track and she was on the swim team. Because of him she was accepted and even liked by her class mates, but then at the start of her Sophomore year his Senior, his father was transferred out of state. Making the whole family move, She cried and he promised that he would be back for her.

Two years later and she had became a beautiful young adult, she still played soccer and swam and the swim team but she avoided people like the plague because she was afraid that if she got to close that they would question the bruises on her body from where her mother and father hit her. She didn't want people to know and she had long resided herself to the fact that her best friend and love of her life wasn't going to come back and save her from the life that he had tried to keep her from before. One night it was worse then any before that, her father tried to force her and her mother attacked her for 'seducing' her man. The girl ran from the house as to keep her life, she hide in the tool shed outside and when her parents slept stole back into the house and took a shower. Washing away all the blood and tears, Packing her back pack with a couple changes of clothes she hiked to her best friends old house and slept in their 'playhouse' which was in reality a boat house far enough from the main house no one would notice her.

Laying on the cold hard ground she picked up her battered cell phone and dialed a number she had never forgotten, his number. Over the years she had called and left messages but he had never called back but the girl understood because she was just a neglected little girl from his past. As it rang she waited to hear the familiar voicemail message he had programmed so long ago with her when he had gotten his first phone. "Hello?" A husky and deep male voice answered on the third ring, it was sleep fogged and she chocked on a sob. "Hello?" He repeated obviously annoyed. "Hey..." She finally spoke, she could hear him move on the other end and could imagine him pulling himself into a sitting position. "Mousey?" He asked using the old nickname he had given her so long ago. "What's wrong?" He asked, instead of answering she started to sob. "Im coming to get you, where are you?"  he commanded followed by rapid movements on his end of the line."Playhouse" she chocked out. When he hung up she curled up in a ball and cried, he was coming back for her.

(Basically this would be about exploring the new relationship they would have after not seeing or talking for two years. )



2)I cant do it alone...
Pictures I came across while writing a paper on self harm for psychology class. Please don't say anything abd about them or this plot.










Standing on the top of her two story house the girl stood looking down at her pool, it was almost frozen over but she didn't feel the cold nipping at her arms and legs. She didn't feel her own tears running down her cheeks. Briefly she wondered what her parents would say when they returned in two weeks to find their daughter frozen and drowned in the pool, they probably wouldn't be sad. She was worthless to them why else would they leave for weeks, even months. Moving toward the edge of the roof she looked down at her bare legs, there was bruises and dried blood on her inner thighs and her face crumpled momentarily. She had always been an outcast until James had arrived, he had acted like he liked her. He walked her to class everyday and hung out with her after school but being polite even if her parents weren't home. She had truly liked him, Pulling slim fingers through her tangled mass of red curls she allowed her self to mentally visualize herself as she had been standing before her mirror mere minutes before. Or had it been hours ago? She couldn't tell how long she had allowed herself to stand in the Mid December cold, She knew her green eyes were flat and glassy, her pale skin which had old scares running across the smooth surface of her hips and waist was bruised and had cuts that were all to fresh. She looked like the victim she was and though the rational part of her brain told her to go inside and call the cops but she didn't want anyone to see the pain she felt of see the cuts she had made after he had hurt her. Looking at the pool once more she jumped, she felt the icy water awaken her senses and started to try and swim to the surface suddenly afraid to die.

Desperately she was fighting for her life but the cold water had numbed her muscles, not that the alcohol she drank to get her nerve up to climb on to the roof helped any, So no matter how much she tried to move she was still sinking in the icy depths. Suddenly, a large splash sounded above her and she saw arms moving toward her. With the last of her little bit of energy she propelled herself into the saving arms. Lucky for her the boy was next door, typical bad boy who was taking a breather outside after having a quickie with the girls neighbor when he saw her standing up on her roof in nothing but her bright red hair. When he saw her jump he had first thought he pool must be heated but when he peeked over the fence he saw the broken ice and he quickly climbed over the fence and without thinking jumped in after her upon seeing her struggle to try and swim. He didn't know what had made the girl want to end her life but he wasn't about to stand back and allow her to be successful when he was around.

Dragging the only semi conscious girl out he quickly carried her inside and found the nearest bathroom, turning on the water to full blast her pulled her in to the stream of steaming water with him. Looking her over he saw the fresh bruises on her thighs and the broken look in her half lidded eyes that made him want to try and save her from her own demons. The scars that covered her body, both new and old made his heart ach and he tried to steel himself against the onslaught of protect emotions that washed through him. The girl in her groggy state registered that one, she was naked, two the boy could see her scars, three the boy was the well known and fear bad boy and player, and four they shared 90% of their senior classes together. Trying to pull away she could see how the look of the wounds on her body affected him and she felt an odd need to comfort him.
Rebellion against a tyrant is obedience to God. ~Benjamin Franklin
In this world its not faith that saves us but Defiance. ~Benjamin Franklin
Sex.  In America an obsession.  In other parts of the world a fact.  ~Marlene Dietrich
To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.  ~Don Schrader
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  ~Abraham Lincoln

MagicalMayham

Non-Con

1) The Tease
So there is a very pretty girl, and she always gets what she wants. When she needs help she decides to promise to do something for your character but he ahs heard about how she doesn't keep her side of the bargins so he has decided to make sure he gets paid by recording the bargin and blackmailing her. Of course she says her dad will get her out of trouble when confronted so you just take her, and then you start taking her when ever you please.

(heres a couple ideas on how/where you can take her)
~During study hall in the library in one of the asiles of books
~Force her to give you head under a table/desks in class or somewhere similar
~In the hallway
~In a park
~On the bus/Subway
~Etc.
Rebellion against a tyrant is obedience to God. ~Benjamin Franklin
In this world its not faith that saves us but Defiance. ~Benjamin Franklin
Sex.  In America an obsession.  In other parts of the world a fact.  ~Marlene Dietrich
To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.  ~Don Schrader
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  ~Abraham Lincoln