One Sentence

Started by Fairehawke, January 27, 2011, 09:07:47 PM

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Fairehawke

I do not know if anyone has done this before , but here goes. A premise is sort of like telling the whole story in one sentence. It begins and ends and everything, all in one sentence. Let me give an example...


Me

Someone who will spend five dollars to mail you an unpackaged banana is someone who deserves to stay in your life for a while, if only to make it a bit more interesting.

I was wondering what can we come up with. Just feeling silly today.

btw... I would sent people unpackaged bananas.

gaggedLouise

Friends of this son-of-a-beep were annoyed by his constant efforts to borrow of their hard-earned cash and the inventive excuses he would marshal later on for their mixed pleasure.

And here's a favourite I omce saw in a feature article about a small mining town in eastern  Greenland (it used to be called Scoresby Sund, it's literally the end of the world) which had been settled with inuits in the 1930s, and it was suffering these days from rampant violence and heavy drinking:

This is one of the most violent communities in the world, but people here live beyond fear.

You didn't see that turn coming, for sure.

Good girl but bad  -- Proud sister of the amazing, blackberry-sweet Violet Girl

Sometimes bound and cuntrolled, sometimes free and easy 

"I'm a pretty good cook, I'm sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen, I'll show you my best recipes"

Fairehawke

Quote from: gaggedLouise on January 29, 2011, 02:19:25 AMAnd here's a favourite I omce saw in a feature article about a small mining town in eastern  Greenland (it used to be called Scoresby Sund, it's literally the end of the world) which had been settled with inuits in the 1930s, and it was suffering these days from rampant violence and heavy drinking:

This is one of the most violent communities in the world, but people here live beyond fear.

You didn't see that turn coming, for sure.


I certainly didn't see that twist, and those are two great sentences.

Truastus

Haha - that made me chuckle.  ;D

gaggedLouise

#4
"More bullets? against each other - are you crazy?"

-Nick in the first Russian roulette scene in The Deer Hunter


"I kill with my cunt"

-famous line spoken by a disco girl in the film Liquid Sky

"Everything about the new phone system worked fine until people began making calls to us"

-the secretary at a university department I attended,  after they had cahnged to IP telephonery.

"When you feel a smell of, like, burnt rubber, all out of the blue, it can be a sign that a stroke is imminent, the smell sensation being produced from the nerve threads withering."

-me, giving a not quite acurate analysis (though it's true that some people who suffered strokes have reported that they felt a smell as of dry, burnt rubber just before it happened)

"That's not a place where you'll be running around."

-ski bum discussing an alpine resort in Peru situated at past three miles above sea level.


"When I thjnk of the days when I didn't have a mobile pjhone I just wanna commit retroactive suicide"

-from an interview with a DJ, around 1990; he was an early adopter.

Good girl but bad  -- Proud sister of the amazing, blackberry-sweet Violet Girl

Sometimes bound and cuntrolled, sometimes free and easy 

"I'm a pretty good cook, I'm sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen, I'll show you my best recipes"

Remiel

"For sale: baby shoes, never used."

--attributed to Ernest Hemmingway

gaggedLouise

#6
"When you're talking to the chancellor on the phone, you listen" - ancient jungle proverb.

sms message sent by me to a friend after Premier Silvio Berlusconi had snapped that a certain German Euro parliamentarian who'd been critical of him "should be looking for work acting a concentration camp guard in the next Hollywood war movie" and had been made to apologize after an angry nightly phone call from German Chancellor Horst Schröder. Jungle proverbs about power, of course, normally belong in the realm of the Phantom.

Good girl but bad  -- Proud sister of the amazing, blackberry-sweet Violet Girl

Sometimes bound and cuntrolled, sometimes free and easy 

"I'm a pretty good cook, I'm sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen, I'll show you my best recipes"

gaggedLouise

"I'm not giving in; I have a Ph.D. in Obstinacy"

-President Mubarak this morning.  ;D

Good girl but bad  -- Proud sister of the amazing, blackberry-sweet Violet Girl

Sometimes bound and cuntrolled, sometimes free and easy 

"I'm a pretty good cook, I'm sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen, I'll show you my best recipes"

gaggedLouise

From one of the first news articles I read about the German cannibal Armin M. who had placed an ad to find a man who would agree to be killed and eaten after some flirting.

"His flesh was tough, says Armin, still upset that Bernd-Jurgen lied about his true age"

(the ad had specified an age limit of thirty, but the guy Armin finally picked had cut his age by a few years)

Good girl but bad  -- Proud sister of the amazing, blackberry-sweet Violet Girl

Sometimes bound and cuntrolled, sometimes free and easy 

"I'm a pretty good cook, I'm sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen, I'll show you my best recipes"

Fairehawke

I gave him my heart and in return I received pen

No this is not from that silly movie you might recall this actually happened to me. Though he gifted me with a very fancy quill, the effect was still the same. He only wanted to be friends.

gaggedLouise

#10
Recently around here, a big-selling and slightly egocentric novelist, Björn Ranelid, joined the Swedish Celebrity Come Dancing and challenged members of the Swedish Academy to join in too. The Secretary of the Academy, Peter Englund - the man who tells the press every October who has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature - replied playfully on his blog that he wasn't going but "as long as Ranelid is dancing he won't find as much time to write novels, and anything that achieves this end would be good".

Ranelid became red with ire and lambasted the secretary in several interviews in newspapers. A few goodies:

"I will spend much time this present year making sure he gets his dues"

"Nobody knows who he is I mean have you ever read a book by him?"

"He's a small man, and by the end of the year I will have seen to that he is only four feet six"  XD - actually Ranelid is tall and muscular and Englund is a bit shorter of stature, but what methods is he planning to use to cut his adversary's height?

Good girl but bad  -- Proud sister of the amazing, blackberry-sweet Violet Girl

Sometimes bound and cuntrolled, sometimes free and easy 

"I'm a pretty good cook, I'm sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen, I'll show you my best recipes"

gaggedLouise

Just heard this one in CSI :

"I don't know the internet from intercourse, so I was flung down a deep dark hole."  ;D

Good girl but bad  -- Proud sister of the amazing, blackberry-sweet Violet Girl

Sometimes bound and cuntrolled, sometimes free and easy 

"I'm a pretty good cook, I'm sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen, I'll show you my best recipes"

gaggedLouise

#12
"He was running around the place laughing like the Joker in Gotham City and  shouting that he'd cracked some bloody code"

-one participant in the Swedish Big Brother series ralking of another, who would suffer a breakdown the next day and had to be escorted out of the house. Disturbing outcome,  infuriatingly funny comment.


Good girl but bad  -- Proud sister of the amazing, blackberry-sweet Violet Girl

Sometimes bound and cuntrolled, sometimes free and easy 

"I'm a pretty good cook, I'm sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen, I'll show you my best recipes"

Jazra

It seemed a good idea all the way up until his partner opened the sluice gate when he was just half way through the pipe.
Ons & Offs
Absences

Boy, “If I and a slice of pizza fall in the water, which do you save?

Girl, wipes grease off her chin, “Why'd you let my pizza fall in the water?”

gaggedLouise

Just saw this headline: "Twitter cobra went missing without a trace after tweeting about his life in freedom"

Apparently happened in New York and made quite a few local people uneasy. Hmm, how does a cobra open a twitter account?  :o

Good girl but bad  -- Proud sister of the amazing, blackberry-sweet Violet Girl

Sometimes bound and cuntrolled, sometimes free and easy 

"I'm a pretty good cook, I'm sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen, I'll show you my best recipes"

gaggedLouise

"If you know one happy man in this world, tell me his name quickly, and please send me his phone number!"

-from a letter by the young Gustav Mahler to a friend, at a point when the former was in very low spirits. The last seven words are my addition from when I read it.

Good girl but bad  -- Proud sister of the amazing, blackberry-sweet Violet Girl

Sometimes bound and cuntrolled, sometimes free and easy 

"I'm a pretty good cook, I'm sitting on my groceries.
Come up to my kitchen, I'll show you my best recipes"