Breakup with the person above you!

Started by stormkitten, March 09, 2009, 01:45:07 PM

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Boatman

#9400
Dear BBS,

I went the extra naughtycal mile for you. I had all the rowing benches ripped out from the lower deck and installed a new fangled engine. The cost, as you well know, was not insignificant. And the fuel the wretched thing uses... Yet more money down the spout and out of the exhaust.

On the plus side, once I'd ditched the benches and occupants over the side, there weren't so many slave mouths to feed. Not that I had fed them much anyway.. Not that I needed to, as they had taken to gnawing at one another if they needed a snack. And as a forward looking compassionate employer, this was a privilege I was happy to allow them so long as they didn't chew off any parts needed for rowing or following instructions.

Anyway, as I said, I did all this and much much more just for you. Because I thought we'd probably got off on the wrong foot and I wanted to give 'us' another chance.

In the spaces where the rowing benches had been, I fitted all sorts of punishment stations. Places where you could tied roughly over an even rougher wooden bench and thoroughly lashed, both before... and after. Another where you could be gagged and suspended by chains, with your legs apart, the rolling motion of the boat causing endless repeated rubbing over...
Well, you know all this.
And in the evening you would have your ankles shackled round the thick mainmast and I'd hoist to the top so you could practice and perform your ballerina twirls before I released the rope at sunset to let you slide and flutter down. So beautiful...

It hasn't really worked out though, has it.
My job as a pirate takes me all over the ocean, disposing of merchant and navy ships that have been making the sea lanes look untidy. It is a calling and I am feared for it.
At least I was.
But all your screaming, much as it thrilled me to the core, has been frightening the prey away and ruined my reputation.

So, sadly, this must be our last session together.
I have run out the plank for a spot of deep immersion training.
And a tearful farewell.

Arr har me 'arties.

Boaty Blackheart (pirate)
History, where creative writing was born.

Chasseybaby

Boatman,

You never told me you were a pirate, I dont even know who you are anymore. Im sorry but I cant be in love with a complete stranger....

Chassey*

Boatman

#9402
Baby,

You never listened.
I offered you riches beyond compare.
But all you mouthed was 'bloop, bubble, bloop'.
And dresses made for royalty....
...Admittedly second hand and a little damp.
Yes, there were a few musket holes, but heh?

I told you I was a pirate...
But were you listening?
Clearly not my baby hearty.
Just a 'bloop, bubble, bloop' from inside your water tank.
I'm sorry but I think the only way I can make you happy is to introduce you to the fishes.
I'll miss you.
X
Boaty Blackheart
History, where creative writing was born.

blue bunny sparkle

Boatman.

Okay. Okay. I've seen your new uniform. I get that you worked hard for the promotion. I understand its been a dream of yours... like forever.

But I am not okay being a military girlfriend. I'm a pacifist alright? It goes against my highest principles... of being a bleeding heart liberal.

Please understand. I'm just a simple girl and easily frightened by war and might.

I'm off to find a tree hugger!

Bunny

Boatman

BBS,

I don't know why you weren't happy.
Military folk are the peace keepers.
If you didn't have them, then the bad guys would sail all over your boating lake and probably take you prisoner.

But, I already have a new prison for you, so why go through all that?
I had dreamed of keeping you in the revamped brig and stringing you up from time to time.

And why would you need a tree when I can chain you to the mast for a good lashing.

I know there is the tiniest downside of wiggly weevils in the biscuits and a few of your teeth falling out with scurvy.

No, I cannot have your mutinous thoughts.
I am marooning you on that remote island with a bottle, piece of paper, a cork and a pencil, sorry.

Boat
History, where creative writing was born.

Chasseybaby

Boat,
You're always off on some grand adventure and You leave me alone and empty home. I get so depressed I eat and eat and then find myself in love with fridge more then you. I don't know how this crazy relationship came about, but I can't seem to pull myself away from its icy hold. I wish you the best to find a girl who will follow love with you and not a kitchen appliance.

Chassey*

Dovel

Chasseybaby,

I wanted to tell you this in person but I am afraid if I do I will not be able to let the words come out. If I see you, I would quickly push aside what needs to be said because I never wanted to hurt you.

But, you have hurt me. Once again, even after we talked and you swore you would not do it again, you went ahead and did it. The refrigerator was left open. Open! And all the milk was once again split on the floor. I know what you were doing. Don't deny it.

I just can't live like this anymore.

- D
Now we live, tomorrow not
Enjoy your pleasures, lest they rot
Let not them pass this very day
For on the morrow regret may with you stay



Belle33

Dovel,

I thought your beautiful words were just for me, but now I see you share them freely with everyone.  I felt so special for a while, but now, I guess I'll just go back to being just another one of your many fans. 

Heartbroken, I remain...
Belle

Ons/Offs, Stories & Poems, Currently Not Available for RP

MonroeCat

Belle,

I just can't trust someone who loves another.
I'm ending this now, before either of us gets hurt.
~Cat

Boatman

Cat,

You just want to wander the streets all night looking for prey.
Whereas, I would prefer to have you snuggled up in the cabin here with me.

I am sorry, I am looking for a new ship's cat.

Boat
History, where creative writing was born.

MonroeCat

Boatman,

It pains me to admit, but I must be honest. You live near far too much water for my feline tastes.
And your always sopping wet, when I would rather have you curled up in my basket by te fire.

~Cat

Boatman

Cat,

I sold the boat and bought a pub with a roaring fire, where I carefully positioned a large snuggly basket  for us.
But this didn't stop you mewing at the window to cavort with screeching toms every night.

You are lovely, and I have tried.

But.

Bye
History, where creative writing was born.

MonroeCat

Boat,

You did so much for me, my guilt was overwhelming, I don't love you, I never did.
And now that you have changed your life so drastically for me, I realize I need someone with more adventure..

Forever regrets my love,

I must go.

Boatman

Cat,

To tell you the absolute truth, I am allergic to cat fur, so am thankful you got bored.

Set sail, me hearties, your captain is back.
And chuck this wriggling bag to leeward.

Boat

History, where creative writing was born.

MonroeCat


saphireMARIE

Look... babe.
I love your tongue and all... but you really are the crazy cat lady. Bye....
Saph

MonroeCat

Saph,

NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!
I'm breaking up with you instead bae, this crazy cat lady doesn't get dumped!

Consider yourself dumped.

~Cat

Boatman

Cat,

You ate my pet fish.

You are double dumped (sweetly)

Boat
History, where creative writing was born.

MonroeCat

Boat,

You accused me of eating your fish.

Bye,

Boatman

Cat,

Your teeth marks were on the vacant looking fish heads.

Bye for ever.

B
History, where creative writing was born.

MonroeCat

Boat,

I lied. I'm not a cat. I'm a toothless cat. You are a liar.

I'm never speaking to you again.

Farewell.

~Cat

Boatman

Cat,

But aren't these your DNA matched dentures?

Such empty promises of honesty.

I am blotting you out with a good measure of rum.

Bye, whoevever you were, hic.
History, where creative writing was born.

MonroeCat

Boat,

I'm still not speaking to you.

(But please don't get all drunk, I like you witty)

~Cat

Boatman

Cat,

QuoteI'm still not speaking to you.

It is the long silences that got me down... When you were supposed to be on lookout duty!

I am off to fill in the iceberg holes.

Boat
History, where creative writing was born.

MonroeCat

Boat,

How many times must we go through this?
Ice bergs deserve having holes put in them. Just ask James Cameron.
Its not me, its you.

~Cat