Frustrated with Lack of Writing Partners

Started by southerngambler, April 30, 2018, 01:02:09 AM

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southerngambler

It was honestly the first avatar I came across when I was making a profile. That being said, I like it. I think it represents me well because I do like to joke a lot.  I am gonna change it though because I have gotten so much negative feedback. As far as my profile, request thread, and my O/O's goes like I have said before this is all a new experience for me and I am learning as I go. Still working on them. Thank you all for the help and support. This truly is a special place with a lot of great people.

Nico

#26
Quote from: southerngambler on May 01, 2018, 06:36:15 AM
It was honestly the first avatar I came across when I was making a profile. That being said, I like it. I think it represents me well because I do like to joke a lot.  I am gonna change it though because I have gotten so much negative feedback. As far as my profile, request thread, and my O/O's goes like I have said before this is all a new experience for me and I am learning as I go. Still working on them. Thank you all for the help and support. This truly is a special place with a lot of great people.

I wouldn't change it just because of negative feedback. Personally, I believe that it is essential to be yourself. Yes, chances are that not everyone will like it, but that's not the point.  I'm certain that not everyone enjoys my avatars either, but again, not the point. Some of the avatars my writing partners chose are not my thing, either, but that doesn't change the fact that they are awesome writing partner and people! Tastes in avatars differ greatly. :-)

Gypsy

Also keep in mind that it's very easy for people to block avatars that they don't want to see.

A few years ago, someone approached me about a story idea.  He had an avatar that I just didn't like seeing.  I almost said 'no' ... and if I had, it would have been my loss, 100%.  That partner and I have written a few stories together, even completed one, and not only is he a wonderful writing partner, he's a marvelous friend.

Granted, a few posts into that first story and I used adblock to block his avatar until he changed it. :/

Yes, your avatar is probably the first impression that the people who have them turned on will see of you.  But it IS only a first impression, and anyone who chooses to write with you, or not write with you, based on what avatar you use, is probably not focused on the things that make a good writing partner, or story.
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Amaris

The prospector votes no on changing your avatar if you like it!


MagicalPen

I have avatars turned off by default. I only see them if I click on some ones name to view their forum profile.

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Jag

Quote from: Amaris on May 01, 2018, 07:26:34 AM
The prospector votes no on changing your avatar if you like it!

Agreed.

As someone who uses less than sexy avatars at times, I see nothing wrong with your avatar. If it reflects you and you like it, then that's all that matters. If someone is going to turn me down based on my avatar, then I probably don't want to write with them anyway. I've had people only contact me after I put on a more 'pleasant' avatar and those games don't usually pan out well in the end. Not everyone on E is here to write sex. Not everyone wants to be seen as sexy. Yes, we're an adult roleplay community, but 'adult' is a broad term. So long as it is within E's rules, I see nothing wrong with anyone's avatar.

As for advice...not much that hasn't already been said. Just keep trying. Keep PMing people and keeping you O/O and request threads up to date. Keep you signature links updated. Hang out in social places. It takes time to build a core group of people you can game with. You're still new to E. It takes time. We have a lot of members and everyone wants something a little different. It's going to take a bit.
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Oniya

Quote from: Jag on May 01, 2018, 10:36:10 AM
Agreed.

As someone who uses less than sexy avatars at times, I see nothing wrong with your avatar. If it reflects you and you like it, then that's all that matters. If someone is going to turn me down based on my avatar, then I probably don't want to write with them anyway. I've had people only contact me after I put on a more 'pleasant' avatar and those games don't usually pan out well in the end.

Jag's Halloween avatars are notorious.  <3
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
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King Serperior

I am also in agreement that one's avatar shouldn't matter.  The avatar is just what you want to have.

I mean, my avatars are often borderline between 'horrifying monsters' and 'really cool.'

I don't think one of my avatars I use fall in the 'sexy category' unless you like lots of teeth, fangs, eyes, tentacles, dripping drool, high tech, armored plates.........or in the case of my current one, HEROES!

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Sain

Yeah gotta add another voice of agreement there. Perhaps with some writers who don't know you yet it might have an effect? However it's much more fun to have avatar that grabs you somehow.

Keeps PMing people whose writing grabs you, make sure to thoroughly go through their O/o to ensure you two look for the same things and you'll find a few matching writers for sure :-)
PM box is open. So is my discord: Sain#5301

RedPhoenix

I don't actually put a lot of thought into people's avatars either - other than noticing sometimes ones that I think are especially cool or pretty. The only ones I judge are ones that are pixellated or default which just seems lazy to me. People who put care and thought into their avatars I like more than people who just slap something on.

Like it or not, how you present yourself affects how people see you. If you give the impression that you don't care about your avatar it might make people think you don't care about your writing or your partners. Is that fair? Probably not. Is it reality for some of us? Yup.

As many have said there are users who are attracted to nice avatars so if you're looking to expand your base of potential partners it may not be a bad idea at all to consider a more mature one that suggests the sort of thing you'd like to see in a story. I will admit that I find cutesy cartoony avatars mostly off putting, and while I wouldn't reject a partner who was otherwise interesting over it I might scroll past someone for the first time if that's my first impression. Not something I'm consciously thinking about but I wouldn't be surprised if it's something I do.

And as someone who has been here for years, people absolutely treat you differently based on your avatar. Again that may not be socially ideal but it is reality and something to be aware of when you are trying to attract partners.
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southerngambler

I was actually approached by someone who suggest this new avatar for me. I decided to change it because I really like this one and I feel like it represents me more than the last one. I am very into poker and this one is perfect. She even re sized it for me. some really nice  people here who go above and beyond.  I am also thrilled to let everyone know that I have been contacted by a few people who are interested in playing and two people I have reached out to have responded they are interested. I appreciate all the help guys. What a difference a day makes. I felt so crappy and now I feel wonderful!! Also just seeing people participating in the Great Avatar Debate of 2018 is fun to watch

Oniya

Excellent!  The important thing is that you're a) comfortable in your own 'skin', and b) that you're getting some interest.
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

RedPhoenix

Yay! I like that one a lot better too! :D
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Nico

Good news! I'm glad you found some writing partners!

Blythe

I am just posting to say I seriously dig the new avatar, southerngambler.  :-)

And to say that I hope you will find some wonderful RPs soon! Hopefully you will, but if it takes a little bit, don't get discouraged, and just keep on working at it! I myself have had some hits and misses, even when I did everything right, simply because of timing or perhaps the folks who might've been interested in my idea may not have been actively looking for RPs at the time, which is not something within a person's control when they make a request thread, of course. Sometimes it's just a matter of having a little luck, too, but hopefully since you're a gamblin' man, you'll get some luck on your side!  ;D

Oreo

The new avatar is awesome. The humor is still there and a bit of mischievous intrigue as well! It ticks all the boxes. ;D

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and touches my dreams. - Harry Chapin

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southerngambler

Thanks for all the positive feedback on the avatar. Mithlomwen found it and even seized it for me. I love it as well.

RedRose

You don’t need a sexy or suggestive avatar. Especially if you don’t want it. But one that looks « good » can help. I found some of my best partners before I had one, but I think it’s easier for women to find a co-writer as a whole, and I still decided to put a lot of thought in my avatar. She’s a beautiful woman with blond hair because I generally RP so (unless I’m writing a canon brunette or redhead), she also carries a book because my characters are always intelligent. I definitely didn’t want a NSFW avatar because many could read that as « writes smut led stories ».  Of course you can have the best avatar and go through dry spells, especially if you’re selective. BTW great new avatar !!
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Ana Rain

I have to say that I do think an avatar can make something of a difference, but it's not really "the thing" that will get you writing partners (although a terrible one can put people off). Everyone has their preferences, and although for some it can tell you something about them, perhaps for others it's not so significant.

I think that when you're new it can take a while to find writing partners as there are a lot of writers who have hesitation about collaborating with those whose ratio or post count is quite low. I know that when I'm considering a writing project with someone new I'll have a look at their posting history and see what kinds of stories they've written, and the style and depth of their writing. It's one of the best ways to see if you're compatible. This means I have to agree with what the rest of you are saying, it's about going to the other forums and putting yourself out there, giving the best of yourself, and getting into the "community". Maybe put up one of the stories you're craving in the Classifieds? I've always found them to be a real source of inspiration and interest.

The thing is, sometimes the perfect writing partner is right there, but they simply haven't noticed you yet. Other times they just appear on your doorstep!
Notice: Looking for something more gritty and engaging.

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