[Kiss & Tell] On Love

[Butterflykiss]

What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do? -Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

It is easy to hate someone. It is easy to hate something. It is easy to say that you hate someone or something.

Hate takes no effort. It takes no time out of one's day. It takes no energy, no mental capacity, no emotional toll.

Hate is easy.

--

I hate muffins. Muffins are a terrible food. I tried a muffin once and it was so terrible I spit it out. Since then, I have reviled muffins. After all, there are perfectly good cupcakes, with soft, moist interiors, covered with lovely frosting and wrapped in pretty papers. Why would anyone choose a muffin over a cupcake? Obviously anyone who does so has terrible taste buds. Why would I ever want to attempt another try? The first time was so revolting. Why would I ever suffer through a second attempt? It would surely only yield the same result.

I hate muffins. And because of my hate, I will never know what new things arise in the world of muffins. New fruits and fillings, new ways of cooking, new pans or designs. I will never truly understand my friend Sue, because she loves muffins, you see. I will never truly enjoy her company, because whenever she talks about muffins I wince and shift uncomfortably. All of these things will be beyond me, because my hate has closed my heart.

--

I hate Bob. Bob is a terrible person. Bob once did something or said something that I didn't agree with or that I didn't understand. After all, how could a person think that way? What's the matter with him? Clearly Bob is a terrible person. I say as much to anyone who will listen, and they agree with me. Now everything Bob says or does is ridiculous. The way he ties his shoes, or the way he adds too much cream to his coffee. Clearly Bob is a terrible person, and everything he does is terrible.

I hate Bob. And because of my hate, I will never know how Bob beyond my shallow feelings for him. I will never know if he changes as a person, if he grows as a human being. I will never make an attempt to understand him or his reasons. I will never take a step back and ask myself why Bob is the way he is. All of these things will be beyond me, because my hate has closed my heart.

--

I hate winter. Winter is a terrible season. It's freezing to the bone, the power is forever failing, the water has ceased to run. After all, there are perfectly -good- seasons like spring and summer, seasons full of sunlight and warmth. Who in their right mind would love such a cold and dismal season? I want nothing to do with it. I shut all the doors and windows, I bundle myself and sit muttering in the darkness about winter and all its inconveniences. I rail against the snow and the cold and pass the time as quickly as I can so that it may be over sooner.

I hate winter. And because of my hate, I will never allow myself to experience it beyond its inconveniences. I will never understand the delight of children seeing their first snow, or the way the air is so clear and crisp. It makes no difference that the cold has made the blankets feel so much warmer, or that the warm mug of hot chocolate in my hand is made all the more enjoyable. I will never explore the reasons why others love it so. All of these things will be beyond me, because my hate has closed my heart.

--

Hate is easy.

It is love that takes courage. It is love that takes strength.

[Malina]

Thank you for this!  :D

I hope you don't mind my pouring out a long reply. Your text touches on something I feel very strongly about, so, I couldn't resist...


Odd. For me, it seems to be the other way around. I never experienced a more costly and terrible thing than hatred for another human being. I hated like that once only in my entire life. I don't want to ever hate again.

I think initially, hatred can give a lot of strength and energy, actually, even help you pull through, survive the nigh on impossible, but it's a destructive force and soon, it will develop a momentum of its own. Hatred tends to spread and eat away at you like a malicious growth, to poison and smother your other feelings, as if it wanted to infest, twist and consume everything it possibly can. If it has settled in for a while, it is very hard to get rid of. Especially if there is a 'good reason' or ' strong justification' for it. When almost everyone in what seems comparable to a natural reflex hates such human beings - or calls them 'evil' or 'monster' or 'inhuman'.

In a way, I'm glad I did experience that 'dark' side of myself, learned how powerful it could be. Because I overcame it I know I will always be stronger. It is the side I will not nourish, the one I did and will not let dictate my deeds. I never regretted to let go of my hatred. It was liberating.

Interestingly, I nonetheless frequently, unthinkingly (almost 'innocently') say 'I hate ...' without meaning it. It's a habit of speech which expresses nothing stronger than dismay, annoyance or dislike. For example, I spill something or cut myself on paper and say 'Och, I hate when that happens.', or, after weeks of endless rain 'I hate this weather.' et cetera. Hate is entirely the wrong word to use, as my feelings do not cover even a tiny fraction of what hatred really is.


Love, on the other hand, comes naturally, to me. I fiercely love life. I like and love so much that there is and so many. I love loving, too, I enjoy feeling love for others as much as being loved. I truly believe in love, in all its forms and many degrees.


That hate is easy I wouldn't say, but it's tempting, especially when it already has become our habit to be influenced by it. Hatred takes a lot away from us, eliminates many possibilities and chances, you described that very well. I think where love sets free, hatred holds prisoner, where loves opens us, hatred shuts us down, love creates and nourishes, hatred destroys and stifles. It might be the most fundamental decision we can make, whether we want to love or hate, it's our 'yes' or 'no' to just about anything.


Hatred is hard.

Love gives more courage than it takes, and ten times the strength it asks of you. No matter how much it takes, it never leaves you empty. Love even comes to one who has no courage at all, and gives strength where there was none.

[Saerrael]

Love, in my eyes, is hard as well. I never found any better description then the one Kahlil Gibran gave on this topic. The sweet and gentleness, but also the merciless pain and sacrifice, the surrender to love and it's rewards.

Kahlil Gibran on Love

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

[MasterMischief]

My name is Bob.

[Butterflykiss]

Thank you for this!  :D

I hope you don't mind my pouring out a long reply. Your text touches on something I feel very strongly about, so, I couldn't resist...

Thank -you- for reading~! And please, I do love to hear thoughts and comments on any of my writings.

I think initially, hatred can give a lot of strength and energy, actually, even help you pull through, survive the nigh on impossible, but it's a destructive force and soon, it will develop a momentum of its own. Hatred tends to spread and eat away at you like a malicious growth, to poison and smother your other feelings, as if it wanted to infest, twist and consume everything it possibly can. If it has settled in for a while, it is very hard to get rid of. Especially if there is a 'good reason' or ' strong justification' for it. When almost everyone in what seems comparable to a natural reflex hates such human beings - or calls them 'evil' or 'monster' or 'inhuman'.

--

That hate is easy I wouldn't say, but it's tempting, especially when it already has become our habit to be influenced by it. Hatred takes a lot away from us, eliminates many possibilities and chances, you described that very well. I think where love sets free, hatred holds prisoner, where loves opens us, hatred shuts us down, love creates and nourishes, hatred destroys and stifles. It might be the most fundamental decision we can make, whether we want to love or hate, it's our 'yes' or 'no' to just about anything.

This rings very true to me. I think that when I say "Hate is easy" what I hope to impart is that hatred gives nothing of ourselves. It requires no sacrifice of self the way that love does. It is much "easier" to speak to hate something than to love it. By hating it, I can deny its existence and reason for being, and my only goal is to continue that denial and to even undo this object of my hatred. And if it does cease to be, I am only validated in my hatred.

Love, on the other hand, comes naturally, to me. I fiercely love life. I like and love so much that there is and so many. I love loving, too, I enjoy feeling love for others as much as being loved. I truly believe in love, in all its forms and many degrees.

--

Love gives more courage than it takes, and ten times the strength it asks of you. No matter how much it takes, it never leaves you empty. Love even comes to one who has no courage at all, and gives strength where there was none.

And I hope you never lose that love for life.  :-)  Thank you again for reading and for sharing your thoughts with me.

Love, in my eyes, is hard as well. I never found any better description then the one Kahlil Gibran gave on this topic. The sweet and gentleness, but also the merciless pain and sacrifice, the surrender to love and it's rewards.

Thank you for sharing this, Saerra. Truly it takes a poet's heart and soul, I think, to really grasp the intangible yet overwhelming nature of love.

My name is Bob.

Well, -obviously- I was talking about the -other- Bob. You know, the one from Accounting. >_>