Failing a basic Bio. class?

[CrimsonxKisses]

So, the first trimester of school has been a challenge. Coming from schooling at home for two years, you can imagine anything social is not my forte. After being diagnosed with depression, I managed to get in an 'academic rut' that was/is almost impossible to get out of. Now, I find myself with a failing grade in my basic Biology class, and on the line in a few others; I couldn't help but bawling my eyes out when I saw my GPA was a 1.68. Not only am I on a $14,000 scholarship, I've just been put on academic review. I know I wouldn't have been accepted so willingly in the first place if they didn't see something I've failed to notice, but I'm left thinking... "What the hell is going to happen, now?" Advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Will]

My first semester of college went very similar to that, actually, several years back.  It can be a very tough transition for some people, but there's not much you can do but stick with it.  Sorry you're having a hard time. :(

[Jude]

It's possible to fail any class no matter how easy if you don't put the effort in.  None of this means you're stupid, it just means you failed to live up to the expectations work-wise that are required of you to succeed in college.

Best thing you can do is not make excuses.  Depression isn't necessarily a cause of your problems, it could be a symptom.  If you try and blame it on some academic rut, etc. you're just denying your responsibility in what happened which will not solve your problems.

You just need to buckle down and do the homework.  When your teacher gives a reading assignment, do it as soon as possible.  Read it as many times as you need to understand it.  Finish homework as your first opportunity.  Don't procrastinate.  Procrastination often leads to half-assed work because you're running out of time and just doing it to get it done.  Only when you give yourself enough time rather than pitting yourself against the clock will you succeed.

I had a bad semester where I failed the majority of my classes.  Next semester I had a 3.5 GPA taking highly advanced math classes.  The turn-around wasn't because I was super smart or anything like that; it was become I forced myself to do the work and do it in a timely fashion.  I felt so proud of myself after that turn around, and if you make yourself rise to the occasion next semester you will too.

As for worrying about the past: don't.  You can only accomplish what you can given the situation you're in.  Forgive yourself for what you've done and then make the best with what you have.  It's too late to change the past:  accept it was your fault it happened then learn from it, that's the only way you can honestly forgive yourself for what you did.

EDIT:  It also helps to clear out obstacles of your success.  You know what they are better than anyone else.  I'm sure in your heart of hearts you know exactly what it was that tripped you up every time.  Maybe you neglected work to hang out with friends, post on E, or perhaps you didn't keep as tight of a sleeping schedule as you should've.  Perhaps you skipped classes.  All you need to do is fix these problems and exercise self-control and you'll be just fine.  You can do it.

[Serephino]

I know it isn't easy to start over in a new enviorment.  And I can tell you from experience that people that don't suffer from depression, or anything else for that matter, will never be able to understand.  I don't know why, but people who have never had to deal with obsticles are of the opinion that you can just get over it.  If only....  Believe me, I've heard it all.

First what you have to do is decide how badly you want to succeed.  If you want to fix this it's going to take a lot of determination.  Second, you most likely do know what trips you up.  Even if you don't realize it now, if you think about it, you'll notice a pattern.  Do you skip classes because you feel too depressed to go?  Do you just feel uncomfortable around the other students?  Do you have trouble remembering everything?

Whatever is is, there may be a way to deal with it.  I would suggest talking to a counselor or something.  If you're not taking medication already, you may need to.  I didn't for the longest time, but then it got to the point where I was out of control.

The fault you hold in this is not doing something about this sooner.  You had to have known something was wrong.  Maybe you'd be better suited to a smaller school than the one you're at now.  There are also schools that offer online courses.  Only you can decide what's best for you.  I would definitely suggest talking to someone impartial like a counselor or good friend.  College may not even be the best thing for you.

Most importantly, don't let anyone make you feel guilty, and don't let anyone pressure you.  I myself went to college for a year.  I couldn't do it.  I tried working and couldn't do that either.  You just do what you can.

[Talia]

Very well put, Jude and Chaotic.

All I can add to this is..... take enough time to relax yourself, unwind and think only a couple of positive thoughts or as many good thoughts as you can about yourself, past memories, anything that works for you personally in order to stable and quite the mind. Don't beat yourself up..... it only adds fuel to your mental fire. Envision were you want to be or just imagine anything that brings a smile or a relaxed, calming sensation. Calm yourself and your body as much as you can when things snowball and I know sometimes it is easier said then done.

I use a hot bath, candles, music, humor and when all else fails....I call someone who truly cares about my well being and has the time to help me work things out, vent, or just plain makes me laugh.

Wish you all the best.... if you have to, reach out here.... There are some pretty amazing people on and in this community that would be willing to bend a ear if necessary. Feel free any time to PM me if need be.

I truly hope you find some something that works for you, but most of all I hope you find a healthy balance that works better for you.

[Remiel]

With all due respect to the others in this thread, I beg to disagree.

As someone who has struggled/continues to struggle with depression myself, let me tell you this, and tell you this urgently:

GET HELP ASAP.

I know what it feels like.  It feels like a sixty-pound weight upon your back.  It makes it hard to concentrate, makes it hard to study, saps your willpower, your determination, your drive.   You can try your best, but sooner or later your depression will strike again, and when it does, you'll be crippled. You'll be paralyzed.  No matter how much effort you've put into your studies so far (and I have no doubt you're an intelligent, hard-working student), it will hurt your grades, and then you'll feel even worse as you blame yourself for your perceived failure.   How do I know? Because I've been there.  I failed out of college as a result of it.  Granted, I was able to pick myself up, go to a Junior College for a year and then transfer back into another university where I eventually finished my degree, but it's not a path I recommend for anybody.

Please, please, please, take my advice and get some help, if you can.  There's no shame in making appointments to see a psychiatrist/psychologist, if you can.  Doing so demonstrates that you have acknowledged the problem and are working to solve it.  If that's not an option, most schools have a counseling service that you can and should take advantage of.  Sometimes just being able to talk to someone about your anxieties, even if it's a complete stranger, can be a huge aid.

Realize that your low GPA isn't because you're a bad student.  You can be a highly intelligent and hard-working individual, as I said, and still suffer from motivational problems thanks to depression.  It's a handicap that can be overcome, but it's a handicap nevertheless.  And the sooner you recognize the handicap for what it is, and work to address it, the better off you'll be.

Depression is real.  You need to address that first before you can tackle the issue of your academic performance.   Depending on your diagnosis, you might even want to consider medication, but at the very least--at the very least--look into getting some sort of counseling.

If you want to talk about this further, please PM me.  Like I said, I've been there, done that, and have the scars.

[CrimsonxKisses]

I left school. Working on getting into some online courses.

At least there's one pro: the stress is slowly lifting away... *sighs*

[dorthyinwonder]

Crimson,

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time with school. I've never done the home-school thing, so I can't say anything about the transition, however one thing that helped me when I did move away to college was having an activity that I looked forward to participating in. Well, let me explain my college career:

Personally, I did tons better when either a) someone was always on my butt about classes; or b) I had a social commitment that I looked forward to. I enjoyed being a part of something like that and if that's what your issue is with the transition, it might be something to try. I don't think taking online courses is going to completely help you, but I hope I'm wrong.

Please schedule your classes intelligently! If you're going to participate in something like those groups, please schedule that you're able to attend. Keep it in mind each semester!

Right now, I've applied to a sister campus of the last college and am hoping that it'll work out much better. I think I like the degree much better, at any rate. :)

Also, I do highly recommend seeing a therapist or psychiatrist/psychologist. Like it was stated earlier, depression is an ugly thing and once it has you, it really doesn't completely let go. If you do find something that makes you happy, it'll take one slip for that depression to come right back and knock you in your face.

Hope that helps!

[CrimsonxKisses]

Thanks for taking the time to reply, dorthyinwonder.

I know it's going to be a long journey from here on. There's no quick fix -- with time and patience, things will get better, I just have to see to that and make sure I stay sane in the process. Life is kind of like trial and error... You try as many times as you can to get something right, and, eventually, you find something. I have to believe that. 

I owe it to myself to give school another try: this time, however, I'll only be taking a class or two, (at least) one of which will be online and the other at night. Another thing is that, now, I'll be attending the closest community college -- ten times less overbearing, really. It could just be that I didn't do well in one of those (for lack of better words) high-end schools.

When it comes to depression (and bipolar, in my case)... all I can say is have the best therapist and psychologist. I can finally say I have a grip on things, and we've come to the conclusion our medicine 'concoction' is right at this point in time. But medicine can only do so much, and the rest is up to me.

I'll keep your words close to heart; once more, thank you.

[Oniya]

Sometimes, having the right teacher really helps, too.  From your description of the local CC, it sounds like a much better environment for you.

[Caeli]

Good luck, Crimson. You sound like you have a plan. The hard part is keeping it, but I've found that with support, a lot is possible.

I hope that community college works out for you. Good on you for giving school another shot, and doing your best to change the experience and give it an honest second chance.

[Watari]

Your story is so similar to mine, it's kind of scary. I started of college as a Mechanical Engineering Major, because my parents forced me into it. But since I had very little idea what I wanted to do, I went along with it. From the first semester, it was quite clear to me that this was NOT the major for me, and when I told my parents this, they did not believe me. Fast forward to the end of freshman year, and a GPA of 1.0, because I never went to any of my classes, and they got the point. But the thing is, the whole time that I was failing my classes, I was absolutely mortified at myself. I'd always been a good student, and reveled in that fact. I was in the Honors Program and a model student. But try as I might, I couldn't get myself to sit through another Engineering class. It was torture. But, I got out of it, and despite being set back, I'm moving on.

As for you, I'd recommend several things. First, talk to your professor. Tell him/her about the problem that you seem to be having with the class--or if you're unsure what it is, get their advice on how to succeed in their class. Ask them if there's any way to make-up exams, or do some extra credit. Second, look through your college manual for tutors. Every college has a tutoring program, it's just a matter of finding it. Go there, and get your doubts cleared up. Third, don't worry about being on academic review. You can always bring up your GPA. It's in your hands. Focus on your goal of working towards a better GPA, and stick with it.

I hope that helps. <3