Bad Advice

[Breathless Intent]

Sure thing - hold your breath.... :D

I hate people ogling my boobs!

[Mr Bigglesworth]

Don't face people.

I hate it when women ogle me too.

[Zylvyn]

Wear a sheet over your body with holes cut in it for eyes.

Bodyspray smells too perfumy for a man.

[Breathless Intent]

Get fat and ugly

Become a woman

I want really long hair

[Zylvyn]

Stop shaving your legs!

I ran out of soda!

[Breathless Intent]

Drink lighter fluid instead

I have a headache

[Zylvyn]

A drill to the temple should help loosen that pressure!

I always feel like a stranger, even when among friends.

[Breathless Intent]

Pretend to be a mime - everyone likes those!

I hate my pet

[Zylvyn]

Barbecue... Everyone loves barbecue!

The ceiling fan won't spin fast enough,

[Insanityenviesme]

kick it!

I'm bored

[DeadCell]

Go poke a wasps nest...

I'm thirsty

[Zylvyn]

Drink some caffeine & other diuretics.

The batteries in my mouse are low.

[Breathless Intent]

Grind them into a powder and snort them (then they can get you "High" get it??)

I don't know what to eat for lunch

[Insanityenviesme]

That hand of yours has always been so tasty!

I cant stop staring at Bre's avi

[Zylvyn]

(Oh that one was bad... in a punny way)

Skip lunch.  You had it just yesterday!
Install an image-blocking addon to stop your computer from loading it.

It's too hot out!

[Auron]

Cryogenically freeze yourself until this whole "Global Warming" thing passes.

I think my leg is broken. 

[Zylvyn]

Jump on it and find out!

My dentist's name is Dr. Savage.

[Breathless Intent]

If you're not sure, then you should try harder and run into traffic to seal the deal!

Marry him/her and change names :)

I am bored

[Mr Bigglesworth]

Go to the mall dressed like your Avi, you won't be bored for long.

My ice has melted, and my water is now warm.

[gaggedLouise]

Book an air ticket for Greenland. (though I hear the ice is melting there too...)

I want to walk in high heels, but I keep stumbling.

[Mr Bigglesworth]

Try walking on storm grates.

My desk is messy.

[gaggedLouise]

Set the computer on fire and take a walk. That should clear it.  ::)

My mother-in-law always expects me to praise the chinaware set she gave us as a wedding present but I really don't like it, on the other hand we can't stop using it or she would take umbrage! (authentic example from a book on the mental problems of marriage)

[Auron]

An assault weapon should clear it all up nicely!

I need to feel better tomorrow.

[Phoenixrisen]

Put yourself into a medically induced coma. I'm sure you'll feel better when you come out of it, and look at that, it'll be your tomorrow.

Lawnmowers are loud.

[Mr Bigglesworth]

Move to Barrow, Alaska, I doubt they have any lawnmowers there.

It is hot outside.