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Perverted Wishes

Started by Ellyssa, September 15, 2006, 11:50:39 AM

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Zaer Darkwail

Granted, but anything what you eat tastes as utter crap and so killing your desire to eat.

I wish a person dearest to me gets a wish.

Eyeomancer

Granted, but unfortunately, their wish is fulfilled at an ironic moment; the next time you and they are in a disagreement, and the words come out of their mouth: "I wish you would just shut up," you are rendered permanently mute.

I wish for a turkey sandwich.  And I don't want anything twisted or weird, I don't want a zombie turkey, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, just turkey breast between two slices of fresh bread, with lettuce and tomatoes and mustard.

Lirliel

Granted only the turkey sandwich is so big that it flattens you, the building you are in at the time and well a few city/town blocks. Chow down.

I wish to be a vampire.
"Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits."

"A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection."

Muse

Granted, sweet Liriel, you are now a mosquitto. 

I wish that my roomate would wake up and devil these hard boiled eggs. 
A link for all of us who ever had a shouting match with our muse: http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html

How to set this Muse ablaze (O/Os)

When the little angel won't appear no matter how many plum blossoms you swirl:  https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=135346.msg16474321#msg16474321 (Major update 5/10/2023)

Lanzlo

Granted. However, your roommate was just possessed by the Devil, and by develing those eggs, he used real devils. Your soul is now his, to torment for all eternity.

I wish I was immortal.

Lirliel

Granted, only you are locked in a metal box and thrown into a deep, bout forty feet, hole in the ground and then once more covered with dirt.

I wish my inspiration would come back.
"Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits."

"A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection."

Bliss

Granted, only all your inspiration is focused on using bodily excretions to create mural art to forward obscure political movements.

I wish all my stuff were already packed.
O/O ~ Wiki ~ A/A ~ Discord: Bliss#0337
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
<3 <3 <3

Eyeomancer

The genie goes an extra step, not only packing all of your belongings but hiring the moving service as well.  Unfortunately, "Clumsy Student Movers" lives up to their name.

I wish my cousin Jan develop Irritable Bowel Syndrome in the presence of cantaloupe (imagine family picnics and grandma's fruit salad!)

Lanzlo

Granted. however, that condition is inherited. Your entire family (including you) gets Irritable Bowel Syndrome. All the time. (After all, someone's in the presence of cantaloupe.) And, since you mentioned it, you can't get enough cantaloupe.

I wish I didn't have to work, and can play games all day.

Lirliel

Wish Granted, your work fires you and you are sentenced to playing The Sims 2 24/7

I wish I could be a succubus.
"Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits."

"A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection."

Bliss

Granted. However, Steve Irwin's ghost takes a liking to you and is constantly poking you with burning sticks and talking to a camera that isn't there.

I wish I had the ability to self-teleport.
O/O ~ Wiki ~ A/A ~ Discord: Bliss#0337
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
<3 <3 <3

Lirliel

(Good one!)

Granted, only you teleport into various worlds without oxygen causing you to well croack.

I wish to be in a big hollywood movie.
"Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits."

"A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection."

Eyeomancer

Quote from: Lirliel on July 10, 2007, 01:25:26 PM
I wish to be in a big hollywood movie.

Granted.  You star opposite Tom Cruise.

Bliss

...and what's your wish, Eyeomancer? :D
O/O ~ Wiki ~ A/A ~ Discord: Bliss#0337
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
<3 <3 <3

Eyeomancer

I wish Tom Cruise and his entire crazy culty Church of Scientology would implode, explode, combust, freeze, vaporize, evaporate, and fade away into nothingness.

Bliss

Granted - but it happens because WWIII descends upon us, starting from California and working outward to encompass all nations.

I wish I had a nice, tasty, crisp tuna salad.
O/O ~ Wiki ~ A/A ~ Discord: Bliss#0337
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
<3 <3 <3

Lanzlo

Granted, but the tuna was way past it's pull date.

I wish for respect. (Do something with THAT! :P)

Bliss

Granted - Aretha Franklin will follow you around singing the song of the same name for the rest of your days.

I wish for a music server that automatically holds ALL songs ever anywhere, to be listened to at my whim no matter where I am!
O/O ~ Wiki ~ A/A ~ Discord: Bliss#0337
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
<3 <3 <3

Celestial Goblin

Granted - but all the songs are in a format that plays only on AdLib sound card from ages past.

I wish to be a star of a Hollywood movie that has no scientologists in it.

Lanzlo

Granted. You're in an Uve Boul movie... a really bad rendition of 'World of Warcraft: The Musical'

I wish for celebrity endorsement for my work. (Child Passenger Safety Restraints... car seats.)

Bliss

Granted - you get Britney Spears.

I wish to become independently wealthy without injury of any sort to my friends or family.
O/O ~ Wiki ~ A/A ~ Discord: Bliss#0337
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
<3 <3 <3

Lanzlo

Granted. It's you that is gravely injured, and you're on disability for the rest of your life. Fortunately for you, it was a work related injury, and so your company is paying your medical bills. On the down side, you're in constant pain for the rest of your long and miserable life.

(Wow, my wish was better than I thought. I could have gotten Michel Jackson. :P)

I wish for my soulmate.

Bliss

Granted. It happens to be a dogfish.

I wish for an honest, industrious maid to clean my house on a monthly basis.
O/O ~ Wiki ~ A/A ~ Discord: Bliss#0337
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
<3 <3 <3

Lanzlo

Granted. Your house is picked clean of everything of value, once a month.

I wish for ultimate power.

Bliss

Granted - and with it you get ultimate responsibility, charged with maintaining the balance of the multiverse.

I wish Firefly would come back on TV.
O/O ~ Wiki ~ A/A ~ Discord: Bliss#0337
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
<3 <3 <3