Tails of Monkey - Hey Adventure is still waiting

Started by Catherine, June 16, 2020, 08:25:28 AM

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Catherine

The fish monster lunges at me, I guess that it is one of its moves in its list of moves. On top of blurping underwater, bubbles and the fish hook. I am not sure how it gets it though, medium kick medium punch half circle back press the start button and slam forehead down onto the buttons maybe, it is a easy move to dodge really. All someone has to do is step to the side or back. If you drop to the side you can just drop and elbow and THUMP!

"Are you trying that attack again on me? Ha ha and eat elbow!"

I do the unexpected, expected things feel so vanilla sometimes. Done it, did it and it would taste good with sprinkles. I drop and spin to the side, taking the fish's legs with me and down it goes, its claws sticking into the wooden deck.  I spin around going up on my hands as it tries to pull its nails out. It tries once and nothing. Tries again and nothing, I would say it is sweating but it is a fish and if they sweat I will no longer  swim in any body of water with fish in it. I hear it grunting as it tries for a third time and before I know it, it is swinging it's now free hands at me.

Alley oop I go over the hands, flipping a little as I do and landing in the exact same place. I would ask the judges what my score is but I am face to fish lips at the moment so I will just say it was close to perfect score, it would have been perfect but the one judge scored me low again, boo....

Not sure what the fish was thinking when it brought a knee up, which would have worked on a monkey boy but I am a monkey girl so the attack was foiled, ha ha. Oh not by the way you thought, I blocked it with my foot.

"You aren't going to bea...." I start to say moments before the fish monster opened its gills and sprayed me with something. I tried to protect myself with frantic hand movements and "Ew gross!" Which didn't do anything . I still got sprayed, blinded and smelled of fish.

"What type of attack is that I yelled, trying to wipe the fish goop off of me, "you basically just spit all over me. I have been goobered." I manage to get one eye cleaned off, "I have seen your type in movies, you get a person's attention and spit.  Didn't your mom teach you not to spit at people. This is gross it is sticking all over." I try to wipe the stuff off and it just stretches and does weird things, "it is like being stuck in a giant booger. You really need to consider the whole idea of this attack again." After fighting with a little piece of it for a moment, I get some collected and try to whip my hand around to get it off, only managing to irritate it and and it attacks me with a snap to the eye.

Quickly I bring my other hand up to cover my eye, "Ow, yeah this is gross. Yeah I am going to say that whole spit attack thing you just did is just a little too disgusting and if you really need to spit get a spittoon okay?" As I stand there rubbing my eye, I manage to get a handiwipe out and start to get myself cleaned off.  I don't bother keeping the handiwipe it has goober over it and it needs to be far away.

"Hold please," I tell the walking fountain of goober and quickly run to the edge of the boat, gently lay the handiwipe down and tell it to stay. Then run back, "Okay where were we?"

I get my answer not verbally, I get it with another lunge. I mean come on, doesn't fish monsters know more than lunge, grab and tear? To keep it on its toes I flip backwards and continue flipping since the lunging persists. Over and over I flip down the length of the boat and back up it, each time I think I can stop, Scalia lunges.

Mid flip I see the rear of the boat coming quickly again and get an idea. I land on my hands and spring upwards carrying me up and Tadah on to the railing. Balanced, thanks to my tail, I spin and stick my tongue out. A tongue out always clouds the thoughts of others, not sure why though. I am thinking it has to do the amount of area of the tongue being exposed introducing enough moisture to form clouds. There is no way I can test this theory due to there are already clouds hanging about but I will call it the 'Tongue cloud theory - the scientific research proving the amount of tongue sticking out influences the cloudiness of people.' Sounds official doesn't it?

I stand there and of course the fish monster lunges right at me and I throw up the 'oh no, I am trapped' look. The fish smiles and reaches for me, claws glinting in the light making them look extra sharp. This is it.... And I jump up moments before fish monster and monkey meet.

The fish monster of course frantically claws at the air as I flip, foot meets butt and VOOM. The fish monster goes skipping across the water and right into a tree with a loud SMACK!

I land, still balanced, and walk down the rail. "Why didn't you join in the fight?" I ask mouse as I hop down next to it. All I get is a grunt as mouse walks away. I look back towards the river, Mouse said there was triplets. Where was the others or was mouse a bad counter? I think for a moment and shrug, taking off after Mouse.


((*proud pose*))

Catherine

Up the embankment we went leaving the boat behind us, there was no way I was going to try and carry it ion my back. I heard that is what they use to do in the ancient times, like in eighties, carrying their boats around with them wherever they went just in case they came upon water. It sounds like a lot of work to me especially with the size the boat is, I am not even sure if I could even budge it.

"I got it. I got it. Let me just take a step forward.... I think I...." CRUNCH! "Ow, Medic!"

Didn't they hear about trailers back then? That is what they are used for, just back it in to the water and out comes the boat. Then when you are done, pull back up on to it and for you go to the next body of water.

I look back for a second and can see the boat sitting there. "Don't give me those," I say shaking my head slowly. "I said don't give me the puppy dog eyes. You know we can't take you wherever we are going. There isn't going to be any water, I think..." I turn to Mouse who is almost at the top of the embankment, "Is there going to be anymore water?"

"What?" Mouse growled as it stepped over a log, "No, no more water. Why do you ask?"

"Oh no reason, " I answer back before turning back to the boat, "See I told you. You can't come with us, there won't be any water. I said stop, please. Don't give me the puppy dog eyes." Looking back up the embankment I can see mouse is almost at the top and then I look back down at the boat. Then back up and then down.

Quickly I start to run down towards the boat, kicking my shoes off and pulling the bottom of my pants up as I dip a toe into the water to see how cold it is. Slowly it edges closer and closer towards the river's surface then lightly taps the water. Instantly a chill runs from the toe up my spin then up my tail. In fact icicles start to form at the end of my tail it is so cold. "What did they put in this, ice cubes? "

I look down at my poor little toe who is sitting there a little blue. Then look at the rest of my toes, "I am sorry girls, but you will be going in. I will get you massaged later I promise, maybe some new polish too." I stand there for a moment and see one of my toes move up and down.

"Thank you, now hold your breath," I said as I started to lower my foot. Any moment I knew my foot would touch water and it would be freezing. Closer and closer, I jerk my foot away when I feel the water embrace trying to embrace my foot. My dad always said it was best to just jump in and get everything done, but I don't think he was picturing this water. I don't think polar bears would swim in it. "Okay...." I said before  taking a couple of deep fast breathes and thrust my foot down into the water. Instantly it feels like my foot is encased in ice and I know how all of those animals frozen in the glacier feel. Like giant ice cubes!

Slowly I swing my other foot around, pinch my inch my nose and thrust it deep into the water. "Dad was lying," I try to say through chattering teeth, "this isn't better." I start it to push one leg forward and it feels like I am in the Arctic, tiny icebergs slamming against my bare legs. I wouldn't be surprised if a penguin pops its head above the water and says "hi" in an Arctic accent.

Slowly, due to the fear of icebergs, I make my way to the front of the boat. Turn around and put my back into it. "Okay....one...two....three and lifffff" I grunt as I try to lift the boat, straining beyond straining. Little blood vessels popping up on my forehead as I try to pick up the boat.

"No good," I say as I readjust my hands on the boats hull and grunt, "Come on......" I try harder and take it to the next level by gritting my teeth. I think I even climbed up on a mini iceberg for leverage.

Breathing hard I go for a third time, third time is the charm isn't it? What is the worse that can happen? My arms fall off? A giant iceberg hits me and I sink? Maybe another of the 'Triplets' will show up and it can help, maybe call a tow truck with a trailer. I hunker down, not into the water,must hunker down and ready myself, "The little train could do it, so can you. Okay three....two and..."

"What in the Camembert are you doing?" Mouse yells out from the top of the embankment.

"I was trying to lift up the boat to bring it along."

Mouse raised a hand up and started to rub the bridge of its nose, "Why? Never mind just get up here and leave the boat."

"But it is giving me...."

"I don't care, get up here so we can get going." Mouse growled.

"Fine," I said, turning around to give the boat a little pat, "Sorry it looks like I can't take you. You be good now okay." With that I sniff and turn around, not looking back at the boat as I put my shoes on and climb the embankment. I know if I did it would be looking back at me with those puppy dog eyes that boats give and I would try to talk Mouse into taking the boat with us and it would growl and pull up out the sword.

That sword looked like it would hurt so I didn't look back, "bye boatie."


((It is not national say bye to a boat day today so please don’t say bye to a boat today or you will get a weird look))

Catherine

When I reach the top of the embankment I can see what is ahead of us and it is an assortment of different things, you name it and it is probably present. I see swamp stash marsh land, some dry land of course, what looks like a fallen Greek temple p, some upward slopping mountain hiking up to what looks like a citadel in the distance. What? Is what between there and way over there? Let me see, I think I see some bumper cars and what looks like an old roller coaster, does that count? I am hopping that we don't have to ride the roller coaster, it looks like it has about a half of a dozen loop da loops and didn't pass any inspections.

"Um Mouse," I start to say and stop. What? Is there a what?! A thunderdome? I don't see any dark clouds in the sky except for way over there. So there could be a thunderdome over there. We will have to where ear protection when we go through that probably and say 'What did you say?' a lot.

BOOM CRASH "What did you say?" KRAKABOOM "Look out for what?" CRASH "Teddy bears? Why would I run from those?" BOOM CRASH BOOM "What is behind me? Let me look." CRASH CRASH "Oh it is a bear with really big claws." BOOM "It looks mad." KRAKABOOM "It's........" BOOM BOOM CRASH AND ANOTHER BOOM..

What did you say? Just kidding, getting some practice in before the thunderdome. What? It isn't that type? A thunderdome is what? You do what in it? Fight to the death while some famous singer looks on. Is is someone I know? Hopefully not some member from a boy band trying to break out on his own and is ridding the auto tune wave. Who? That sounds like someone my mom and dad listen to. Why would she be, oh.... That doesn't sound to pleasant at all. Let me look and nope, no thunderdome of that type. That doesn't sound like a tourist place I would like to visit.

I am not sure how they would even advertise it. Death, destruction and other things,me have it here. Who wants to be happy and smiling all the time, come to the thunderdome to know fear and cry. Run and scream, that sounds fun right? Oh oh, have you ever wondered what your internal organs look like, come to the thunderdome and we can show you. Come for the screams and stay with the ows. I am sure the kids eyes will have to be covered when the commercial plays.

"Where would you like to go kids?"

"To thunderdome yayyyyyyyyy......."

Maybe it would be kid friendly, they have those little juice containers shaped like bears but they would be shaped like battle axes. You have to be at least this tall for some of it, you know for safety reasons. You don't want them to get hurt.  Little ponchos for the kids with a fun character on it so when they ride that one ride that sprays them with 'red liquid' so they stay clean. Then one of those machines that crushes the pennies while leaving a neat design on them that the kids can collect.

"Why are they screaming mommy?"

"Because they are having fun kids."

I don't see any of that, thank monkey so back to the story. What was I saying again? Oh yeah.

"Um mouse, has this always been this way?" I ask sweeping my hand out to motion to all of it. My hand running into something hard and soft in mid sweep. Quickly I look as I draw my hand back so nothing else runs into it and see a little duck laying there stunned.

I kneel down and carefully flip the little duck back over, "There you go little quack, be careful now and watch where you are going, okay? No more running into things or you will need to start wearing a helmet."

"Okay where was I again? Oh yeah. Um mouse, has thus always been this way?" I ask as I sweep my hand out again. Again it meets resistance by something hard but soft. What the? I look down again and see another dazed duck laying there right behind the other one. That is kind of odd, I tell myself as I kneel back down and flip the new duck upright.

"You be careful to little quack," I say as I stand back up. Laughing a little to myself, "Sorry getting my ducks in a row."

Mouse just rolled its eyes, "Yes it has always been like this. Some kids dropped by years ago with some talking dog and got the park closed down. It didn't take long after that for everything to go to Halloumi. What we are looking for is in the citadel way over there."

"So then marsh slash swamp, amusement park, Greek temple then climb the mountain to the citadel with the thunderclouds." I pause for a moment, then laugh "This sounds like a video game. Is there going to be any walking mushrooms that I can jump on?"

"There are no walking mushrooms that you can jump on," Mouse answered bluntly as it gave me the 'Are you serious' look. "This isn't a video game."

"That is such a eight bit answer," I said jokingly as we descended into the marsh. Switching from the imaginary pugilist helmet to an imaginary mosquito hat as I step into the marsh. Can't be too careful you know.

"That doesn't even make sense. Let's get going the faster we get to the citadel the faster i can get ride of your nonsense," mouse growled.

"Hey I am not bad," squish.


((Where do you want to go this summer? Why go to the park with the mouse when you got THUNDERDOME? Where else can you enjoy a ride in the morning and be bashing mutants in the head with soft but hard padded bats while drinking a bubbling not too safe makeshift cup of mystery liquid that smells of something and watching videos of guinea pigs staring at stairs. THUNDERDOME!!  Coming this summer the “It’s a small small small world ride”. You thought the singing in small small was bad just wait. ))

Catherine

Squish. Squish. Squish. Mouse and I head off into the marsh slash swamp. Thankfully my imaginary mosquito net hat is holding the mosquitos at bay and preventing them from biting me in the face. Which is good, I don't want to hear anyone scream if we run into them. Pointing at my face and asking what happened to me. What is wrong with it, I would ask and mouse would shrug as I pulled out a mirror to look. A glance later and another scream will be heard, coming from me this time. "How? Why? I know I am sweet but did every mosquitos have to bite me on the face?"

Squish. Squish. Squish. It is actually quite beautiful out in the marsh other than the mosquitos, SMACK. The marsh grass waving back and forth in the breeze, little specks of color here and there from flowers . SMACK. Birds flying about overhead not doing their job in keeping the mosquito population down. Hey I think I just heard the call of the whimpering yellow belly something or another. It's plumage is yellow on its belly. I wonder if I can call it in. I bring a hand up to my mouth and try to imitate the sound that I just heard, it is a distinct sound and not easily missed.

My grandpa said it sounded like a needle was being pulled across a record as it played, shrill and soul ripping. Well that is what grandpa said it sounded like. I remember seeing grandpa's record collection when I was young. I would point and ask what they are, he would tell me and I would ask why he didn't buy the cd instead. Explaining to him how the sound was better and stuff, he would just laugh and pat me on the head saying that records are classic, which means old and then asked about going to get a ice cream.

It was always vanilla with sprinkles by the way, grandpa always got butter pecan. He told me that to keep it our little secret so grandma wouldn't find out and if she asked to tell her we went and got broccoli. He would laugh when I stuck my tongue out when he mentioned broccoli, mom had me eating enough of it, then told me that grandma thought he was getting a little soft in the belly and needed to eat better. I couldn't tell really, I thought all grandpas were like that so they could be hugged easier. That and what was better than ice cream?

Mouse cringed and quickly turned, giving me a look that froze me I place when it heard  me call out, "What in the brunost was that?"

I stood there, hand still to mouth "I was trying to call out to the whimpering yellow belly something or another, that I just heard." Mouse refined the look it was giving me, taking it to the next level as it growled. I let my hand fall to my side, "okay I won't do it again."

"Good," Mouse growled as it turned back around and started to walk away. Off in the distance I thought I saw something yellow bellied flying towards me then turn and head away. "Shoot," I mumbled to myself, "I would have been cool to see a whimpering yellow belly something or another up close. Grandpa always told me they were the Swiss Army knife of the bird world, whatever that means." I take a breath and quickly catch up to Mouse.

Squish. Squish. Squish.

"So do we have to worry about anything other than the mosquitos," I start to ask, pausing just long enough to slap another one, "You know so I know what to look for. I saw a movie once and this marsh grass is tall enough for raptors to hide in like they did in the movie. We wouldn't know they are closing in on us until the last moment. They jump, there would be a startled expression and nothing is left but marsh grass."

"No... There isn't any dinosaurs here," mouse answered without stopping.

"Ok good to know, " nodding as I look around. Maybe they do and Mouse just doesn't know it, best to keep scanning. I look back to my tail and nod once and it returns my nod almost like it knows what I thinking. Immediately it swings around and starts to scan the area. No way will anything sneak up on us now. Just to be on the safe side I go down the list to the next likely predator, "How about pugs?"

This question got Mouse to stop and turn around, "Really? Pugs? You are afraid that pugs are stalking us. They have short legs and are not that big. This isn't the proper environment for them. That and if a pack was somehow stalking us, we would hear their breathing. They do wheeze."

"Well maybe they are stealth pugs, a secret pack of them learned in the arts of the ninja. You won't know they are there until their tongues touch you."

"That is the stupi..." Mouse starts to say until my hand goes yo to point at a patch of moving grass,"There goes one now!"

Mouse swirls around and SCHWING out cones the sword ready to do some slicing and dicing. From where I was standing I could see Mouse looking around, "Where?"

"It was right over there. I think we are surrounded. Remember they are bad in hand to hand combat because it looks like they have been punched in the face a lot." Slowly I reach into my bag for my staff of whapping as Mouse takes a step closer to where I saw the pug.

I could see the grass gently moving as Mouse got closer and closer, growling "Who ever is there come out or taste my blade."

That sends a clear message, no what ifs or anything. Either you come out or you will come out saying ow and possibly leaking all over. Which someone might have to clean up after, don't want to leave a mess you know.

The bush quivers again as I pull out my staff and with a little flick of the wrist, make it extend. The only surprise today is going to be by the pug jumping out to surprise us. "I got... Oh hey I think I tripped. You can put those away. Simple misunderstanding."

Any moment now....

The bush quivers again and out erupts [insert dramatic pause. You need to build suspense and everything. I could wait to the next paragraph or tell you that I one story, then cone back to what is about to jump out. Make you sweat, wondering what it could be. How armed is the ninja pug. Does it just have little daggers or something like a  proton laser death saber with fully charged batteries? I guess you will just have to wait. Want a banana milkshake my treat? What? You rather want to find out what erupted from the bush. Find..... You don't know what you are missing.] out erupts [Are you sure you don't want one? Fine, just checking.] Out erupts a butterfly!


Mouse screamed or was it a growl. It was something as it swung the blade before slipping it back away, "I can't believe you got me all worked up over a butterfly. How did you, never mind let us get going."

As stomped away as I apologized, "Well it looked pugish."

The camera sweeps around catching something here and there. For a brief moment a badge or something is seen. Details can be made out and so can the words not he badge. The scariest words known to man, words that say death and destruction while wheezing.

'Pugilion Stealth force of doom! Plana faciem interitus'

I think that last part is Latin, not sure what it means though but since I didn't see the ninja pugs, the camera did, I just followed Mouse. Oblivious to how close we came to a licking.


((Ninja pugs. If they don’t lick you with their little tongues they will breathe heavy in your ears. Ick...))

Catherine

Squish. Squish. Squish.

It would be nice to have a tour guide or someone that could point things out as we walk through the marsh.

Over there is the orange glow sunflower,mint gets its name from the being orange. Over there is cotton candy smelling, hey I wouldn't lick it. It is poisonous, you will start to lose all feeling in your arms and legs then you will fall to the ground. Body sounding SQUISH. I told you. Now way over there that is a flying pig, it is uses its tail during lift off for acceleration.

See little things like that, stuff that I would just go 'Oh it is a pretty flower' and 'hey a flying pig?' Not knowing what I am looking at. Should I not lick the flower that looks like a lollipop that will make my tongue go numb and speak funny. What about those fuzzy looking things over there that are cute, should I not pick them up and give them a hug? Yes they have red glowing eyes and enlarged canines but phpht. Those could be for looks.

They could give us some history of the marsh. Like if it is natural or man-made. Maybe it was created by accident by a running drinking fountain that is now lost somewhere in the depths of the marsh. Maybe there was some battle that happened here since it seems battles are attracted to marshes for some reason, maybe it is the smell. I take a deep breathe and cough, maybe not. Maybe an ancient civilization of lemmings lived here, they did something stupid and sunk into the marsh, never to be seen or heard from again except on those one nights when some hear them calling to each other, asking where they are at. Important things like that, it would help with the tourism definitely. No more 'you go wherever and just make things up' attitude. That and a gift ship might be a good idea to, one with t-shirts since everyone loves t-shirts. Like 'my mom and dad went to the marsh and all I got this t-shirt and a weird rash.'

I could ask Mouse, it probably knows everything around here maybe. But I am thinking it would just growl or swing its sword at me if I asked anything. Which isn't good for learning. Oh that is a growl, I thought you said that over there is a grow. Why are you giving me that look for? Why are you pulling your sword out for? Are you going to use it to point things out? I am only asking because I want to learn, not to annoy you honest.

Squish. Squish. Squish. It would be nice. When I showed people the photos later I would have to make things up. Yeah in this photo is a something or another plant, it is known for blah...blah and blah. *proud pose with hands to hips* Whoever I am showing it to gives me a look, "Yeah I have that flower in my backyard. It is called a [insert correct name of plant]." I would laugh and point at something else in the photo, "I meant that one.""

We continue to walk and squish. Mosquitos swirling about making it hard to see sometimes. If I had some bug spray I would spray them gently, although some are big enough for me to club them with.

I spot a log, a rest stop, how convenient. "Hey mouse can we take a break, there is a log over there," I say pointing to the log. Mouse looks and laughs, "That isn't a log."

"What?" I look, I know what a log looks like. Tree fallen down and everything. Simple to identify, nothing tricky or anything. "I am pretty sure that is a log."

"Is it?" Mouse laughed again, look at it again and see if it blinks.

I start to laugh, almost doubling over but not since I didn't want to stick my head in the marsh, "logs don't blink, everyone knows that." I stop and stare at the log as mouse continues to walk away. I am just doing this to make Mouse happy, I tell myself and nothing more. Everyone knows logs don't blink. "Yeah, It isn't blin...." I start to  say as I start to take  my eyes off the log and it winks.

I freeze, "um......"

"It is an alligator and not a log. You better start moving because it looks hungry."

My eyes never leave the log that isn't really a log as I  nod as start to sneak after mouse. No way is the not a log going to get me..


((Words there were words!!))

Catherine

Squish. Squish. Squish.

I thank monkey that I didn't put my galoshes on when we first started across the marsh. If I did it would have given us away really quick with the galosh sound singing out everytime  I took a step. The squishing could be explained as the marsh settling or a frog jumping and if someone asked, "Hey is someone out there?" I would have just answered "Just a frog, I am trying to get to the other side of the marsh. Sorry to disturb." "Hey no problem, just checking. People like sneaking around and I wanted to make sure you weren't one of those."

Nothing natural goes galosh except for maybe a hippo or a Guinea pig jumping yup and down. Neither live in a marsh I think. A hippo would step and sink, the only thing you would see of it is its ears wiggling. Now with Guinea pigs, I don't think those exist in the outdoors or if they do, they only live in Guinea. Where they are the top of the food chain, anywhere else and they are just little oinking bean shaped balls of fur. I think God made them right before making platypi, getting ready to mix a duck and a mammal together by shaking and stirring a pig and a fat hamster.

Pet stores do not appreciate customers picking Guinea pigs up and squeezing them to make them oink. Especially  if said customer lines them up so when squeezed she can do 'Mary had a little lamb' with them. They definitely don't like that. Definitely. Not that I would ever do that, it was some other girl with red hair. I would have gotten it to but I think that one Guinea pig moved and threw off the whole thing.  Oh hey, just playing it was someone else honest. Oh hey what is that over there? It looks like it is part of the story you better go to the next paragraph to make sure.

Anyways only hippos or Guinea pigs would make the galosh sound and the marsh wasn't a good area for either. No way would we be able to make it across the swamp without being questioned and patted down. Neither of those were on the to do list. Let me check, get across the marsh without being bitten by every mosquito in the world and need to pick up some milk at the store. Yeah no questioning or patting so no galoshes. That and I hear the galosh sound attracts ducks and crossing a marsh with a duck on my head, while cute and everything it is kind of strange and I would constantly worry about eggs rolling down my neck. That and hunters, one quack call later, duck responds and BLAM, monkey gets an ow.

Finally one last thing before the squishing continues. Marsh plus galoshes equals step galosh, "wait a moment so I can pull it out", step galosh, "wait a moment so I can pull it out. Hey this might take a while, just saying."

Now back to squishing.

Squish. Squish. Squish.

Marsh grass turns into marsh reeds. Marsh mosquitos turn into not really marsh mosquitos. How can I tell you ask? If you look right there on the mosquito, you will be able to tell the difference. No not there, there. Now do you see it? Okay good. More marsh stuff changes to less marsh stuff as we continue and I let Mouse know, "Hey I think we are leaving the marsh."

"You think," is all I get back as a response from Mouse.

Squishing turns to not squishing and we continue along a fence until we reach a ticket booth, hanging above it us a sign welcoming you to Marsh world, have fun celebrating marsh and please keep your mouth close. You know mosquitos and all. Oh and watch out for Leeches. "This sounds fun," I say slapping a bill or two down at the little area where you are suppose to do that with ticket booths.

"Tickets"


((Try a pair of galoshes on and see what sound they make. It is not natural!))

Catherine

Nothing happens at first, that is how ticket booths work. Money down, you say "Tickets please" and you get tickets. Simple rules of ticket booths, if you say or do anything else you will just get looked at or taken away by security guards. Don't ask about that last one, it happened once and only once. I just can't go to mouse ear's parks for a couple years that is all. Not like they have that cotton candy I really like or anything.

For a moment I stand there and think, did I do something wrong? Did I buck the system and offend the inhabitants of the booth, who are now planning a revolt? I run through everything I did; pull money out, place it down with the proper amount of force and said 'Tickets'. Everything looks right, but did I forgot something.

I pick the money up and shove it into my pocket and take a steps back, I could feel Mouse starring at me with a 'What in the world is she doing' look on its face. I give Mouse a smile and stick my index finger up, hopefully telling it I got this and not pull out your sword and turn this booth to kindling. Sometimes those are easily mistaken and things happen.

Let's try this again, I pull out my money and put it down and with a smile, "Tickets please." Quickly I turn around and give Mouse the thumbs up and it just shook its head. Phpht. When I turn back around there should be tickets laying there, going by the sign on the booth I paid enough and everything. But all I see is dust and wood, no tickets for as far as the eye could see. Which is over there.

Okay I did everything right, just to make sure I run through what I did in my mind. Check money in pocket and pull out, followed by place near where tickets are purchased and then say 'Tickets please.' I did all of that and even smiled, a cute one by the way. No light twinkles or anything, I didn't want to blind the ticket booth operator by accident.

Maybe... I put my hands up on the counter and look inside. There is no grrrr as I push myself up. Just push and up. The inside of the booth is desolate; there is a chair, dust, more dust, a ton of spider webs and a small paper back book that was  facing down and opened. Just by the lack of dusting and general elimination of webs I would say that someone was on a bathroom break. I let myself down and reached for the book, I don't mind reading some good words. Let me see....

He held hear in his strong arms. Their pulses racing as their lips came closer and closer. The sweet smell of flowers filled the air as they embraced. Slowly lowering to the....

Oh my monkey, what type of book is this? I mean look at what they do here. Then here and then she does some type of weird pretzel thing with her body.

Quickly I flip the book over to look at the cover, all I see is muscle and bare shoulders. "It is one of those types," I say under my breath as I put the book back where I found it. I remember catching my mom reading one once. Her cheeks were all red and everything. When I asked her if she was okay, mom covered the book up and coughed once or twice before saying she was okay and that I should go out and play. Of course I was concerned so I went to dad and told him what I saw and what mom did, he just rolled his eyes and mentioned something about mom being into that again before telling me not to worry and to go outside and play. Into what, I asked myself as chased after a butterfly who was giving me the slip. Thought I had it a couple times but nope. For some reason I stayed at my aunt's house that weekend, never did find out what mom was into again but I did get cake.

"Hello," I yell into the booth hoping to get someone's attention and all I heard back was echoes back. Which isn't good for ticket sales. "I am here to buy tickets for the park." Maybe that will get someone's attention. I stand there, twiddling my fingers on the counter, any moment now the door will open and out will find a smiling face. No door opening. No smiling face and still no tickets.

I turn back towards Mouse, "Must be on a break" and Mouse brings a hand up to the bridge of its nose and shakes it head. Turning back to the both I look around for a bell, whistle, button anything to get someone's attention and see nothing. Not even a buzzer! There always has to be a buzzer. Maybe under the counter, quickly I flip up and look. Nothing but a wad of gum. Which I doubt will do anything if I touched it and no I wasn't going to. Who knows where it has been, ick.

Jumping back down, I look at Mouse and shrug, "Thinking they are closed today." Mouse had a response and it was a growl then STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP and more STOMP. Then swipe and ow!

"Hey what are you doing, we need to buy tickets," I say over my shoulder after Mouse grabs a hold of my tail and starts to drag me towards the turnstiles.

"You don't have to buy tickets, this place has been closed for years."

"Then if it is closed, we shou....." I start to say as I get whipped around and kicked.

"Get going!!!" Mouse yelled as it applied force to my butt with its foot which sent me sailing over the turnstile and not into it. Which is good because that would of hurt.


((What is up with feet and my butt?))

Catherine

Over the turnstile I flew, past the sign that said 'Ticket please' and into the amusement park. Luckily nothing was damaged as I hit face first and skidded for what felt like a half a mile. I laid there for a moment spitting out various ground items; pebbles, twigs and what I think is a small animal. Amazed on how strong mouse was, without any effort it had kicked me.... I flip around and look back to see how far I traveled, rubbing my jaw as I do to make sure it was still attached properly. Didn't want a jaw like a snake at all. Sitting there enjoying a banana milkshake and pop, bottom of chin goes swinging down and I lose all straw control. It goes flying around as my tongue searches for it, ignoring all straw searching protocols and eventually I find the straw up my nose.

Yeah I traveled pretty far from there to here, any further and I might have had to consider wearing a fez, vest and fake wings strapped to my back. Maybe even forced to work under a witch with green skin that has to find other ways of cleaning herself because her and water don't get along. Then I guess I would have to learn some new dance moves, because everyone knows minions dance around after their employer is successful at something. I think it is the minion Union book or something. Your employer opens up a jar of peanut butter do this dance. Your employer flips a coin and catches it, do that dance.

I can hear Mouse grumbling as it approaches me and I don't push myself up,I am just up, "you know there is a sign back there asking for tickets." Mouse didn't even bother looking up at me as it walks by, "the park is closed...."

"So I guess that means we don't have to wear disguises or anything so we aren't captured."'

This stopped Mouse in its tracks, "I know I shouldn't ask but..."

Of course I didn't wait for Mouse to continue past the but, "Well maybe in a amusement park uniform and required khaki pants which might be hard to find in your size." Of course mouse growled, "Or maybe in a costume, I have always wanted to try one on and walk about. No one knowing who I am other than Dippy dinosaur or whoever I am dressed up as. Of course treating people nice, posing for pictures and not scaring any kids. Which you might have a problem with. Being so close to the marsh I am I sure it would be a beaver or oh an alligator who is member of a country time band. Maybe carry around a giant oversized harmonica and fake blow into it and everything." I said nodding.

Mouse closed its eyes, "Of course and the answer is no."

"To?"

"To when we might find a uniform or costume and you ask me if it is okay to put it on." Mouse answered back.

My shoulders dropped, "But we are in an amusement park..."

"Which has been closed for years. If we find anything it will be flea ridden or a home to something. So no."

A light bulb went off over my head, an amusement park style one that flashes on and off. Mouse kept things open and now I was going to pounce, 'But if I get it cleaned and everything it will be okay." Got Mouse on that one.

Mouse just shook its head as it turned away, "Fine if you do all of that you can wear it. But I think you will change your mind once you see the fleas."

"Well my dog had fleas and all we had to do is dip it In a flea bath so no problem."

I heard Mouse laughing as it walked away, "Oh I think if you have a run in with one of  the  fleas. You will be the one taking a bath." I responded with a laugh as I joined mouse, "Phpft, I doubt that, they are really small. The only things they do is jump and bite. I think I can defend myself." Mouse just laughed as we walked along the main street of the amusement park.

Looking around I can tell you that this is no Disney world, definitely not that unless the mouse, not the one next to me, decided to let itself go. There was dust and dirt and dust on top dirt. Then there was grass where it shouldn't be like up there and hanging upside down over there. If it wasn't rotting it was rusting. There was definitely some safety issues happening. Like over there, there and definitely over there. Definitely over there, the park is definitely 'BYOB' and maybe even 'BYOT'.

We pass by a foun... What? What did the acronyms mean? Oh the first meant bring your own bandaids and the second was bring your own tourniquet. I would recommend BYOB too, usually the refreshment cost is a little expensive.

'You are charging how much for a little glass of pop? That is just as much as my car! I won't be able to send my kids to school if I buy one. I am thirsty though and little Timmy is well.... Okay give me one. Phpft...... Glug. Glug. Ah......'

Okay back to the moment, we are passing a fountain which by the look of it says it might run red because of the amount of rust on it. We stop for a moment and I run my finger along the rim of fountain then write 'Monkey was here' in the dust. Which I immediately regretted when I saw my red fingertip. I take a step to the side and write  something else, 'Surgeon general warning - writing in dust will make your finger turn red. May make you sneeze too. Also if you are with someone called Mouse, it is looking at you right now shaking its head.'

I turn, handiwipe in hand, "So which way should we go?"

Mouse look up, "I think we need to split up."

"What? Why? Is it the costume thing, because if it is I can explain."

"No it isn't that, it is something else. We are being watched."

Immediately I start to look around, I thought I had that creepy feeling of being watched. The one where all of the hairs on your body stands up. The only reason mine wasn't was because of sheer will power and I didn't want to look stupid. Have you seen what a tail looks like with all of the fur standing up. "BOOF!" I say motioning an explosion with my hands. Like that!

Mouse motioned with a hand, "You go that way, I will go down that way and we will meet up at the end of the block. Yell if you run into something and need help."

"Will do, especially if it has bat wings," I say shivering a little as I take off that way.


((I do not condone the jumping or in this case being thrown over turnstiles. Because if things go wrong there will be pain and ow.))

Catherine

I stop after a few steps and turn back around to say something to Mouse after remembering something. More than a something but a warning that I heard once, never split the party because usually bad things happen after you do that. Maybe half of the party decides to check over by the acid pits, why I don't know one slip and  SPLASH glug glug glug, while the other half decides to check out the safe candy store with the comfortable seats. Something will probably happen to at least one of those groups since they broke the never split the group thing. Maybe that candy store isn't so sweet and only has those really sour candies, the ones that carry clubs and everything and those chairs have springs poking you in the butt all of the time. They might be learning the hard way.

"Mouse I don't think we..." I start to say but realize it is already gone. Well poo... I look around and think for a moment, that warning was associated with dungeons and while this place had the whole rust and decay going for it, it wast a dungeon so maybe the thingie about not splitting the group will not apply. It isn't like I can't handle myself and maybe I checked 'party of one' and hey I am never alone.

Okay that last part sounded a little weird. I am not seeing anybody or anything that isn't there. Except for that over there, I was talking about my tail. I am never alone if my tail is watching out for my butt. Let's get going.

Off to your right you will see your standard amusement park stuff, cotton candy machine full of.... Wait I will be right back. Just need to check to see if... Hmm.... Finger comes out and swipe.  Yeah no cotton candy, whatever that was left is no longer cottony more like burlapy or parts of it are even barbwirey. The candy part is false too. Humph! Well it was worth a look, a little bit of cotton candy will always brighten a day. One hundred percent sugar running through the system and yum.

I hop back down and freeze something is amiss. I have always wanted to use that word and had never gotten a chance before until now. I could say that I am a miss, but that would be amiss. My tail takes it to the next level and starts to sway back and forth, looking for what is giving both us the hebejebes. Something was watching us, something with eyes was watching us....

I squint a little and look around. I could try the 'Ninja Technique of ha I found you.' If done right whatever is watching would give itself away by me quickly spinning around and pointing, "I found you!" It would jump up and say "No you didn't. I am over here!"

"Ha. Ha." Proud pose "Like I said, I found you." Whoever was hiding would drop their shoulders defeated, outsmarted But I see nothing and unless the statues are watching me, seeing if I am just a pigeon in disguise, there isn't anything watching me. But I still have the feeling so I keep looking around. Looking over this and underneath that, to one side of that over there and the other side of this thing. All I see is dust, rust and nothing. Unless the dust here has somehow gained intelligence, I doubt it could have been that

"Have you seen anything," I ask over my shoulder to my tail. It just shakes and shrugs. Thank monkey we aren't playing hide and seek at the moment because I would definitely be loosing. From behind me I hear a loud BANG and turn around to see if the creepiness watching me is standing there and I freeze, "Good goober it's a goblin."

You didn't expect that did you? Neither did I.


((Fact check goblins are sometimes green.))

Catherine

We just stand there staring at each other and everything gets quiet. If we were in a spaghetti western, this would be the moment where we both shove our dusters back. I think they are called dusters, there is no feathers involved so there isn't any bald chickens running about. Which is good because once a chicken gets a cold it gets a cold. It's eggs come out blue because of the cold and if a rooster lays an egg everyone should consider getting those big yellow chemical biohazard suits. Because whatever the rooster has isn't good. It would probably be crying after laying the egg while laying on its side exhausted.

What I was calling a duster was those long jackets that Cowboys wear. I don't know why though, I would think it would make getting up on the horse harder. Your foot would get stuck and embarrassing things could happen.

But like I was saying, if this was a spaghetti western we would both be pushing one side of our dusters back to reveal our weapons. I would give the goblin a one eyed squint thing for a moment, just a moment though since they can cause headaches. Oh oh I forgot, retcon for a second. First I would shove some gum in my mouth so when I stood there I would look really cool chewing. POP! Okay blowing a bubble was sort of anti climatic but I just had to do it. Slowly pull my duster back and spit my gum out. Would have to, since it already lost its taste and instead of tasting like gum it tastes like chewing a slug. One moment yum and the next yuck!  PTOW!

"Draw your gun on three the goblin kid. That isn't two and pull that is on three. One..tstafwo and three. You got it? Not right after two but not on four. Okay?"

A crow calls out. A bell tolls and someone swings one of those double swinging doors. Which you can't find anyone, I hear it was because Cowboys kept having problems with them. Something about dusters getting trapped in them. Honest monkey I just made it up.

Guns are pulled and POW FWOMP!

Slowly I walk up to the goblin kid, "You never stood a chance. I had a big brother so I learned how to handle myself quickly." I bring my gun up and do the whole blowing on the end of the barrel. I don't know why Cowboys do that, fire gun and blow. The gun spins around my finger before slipping back into the holster.

"Never stood a chance..." I say kneeling down to flick the sucker tipped dart stuck to the goblin's forehead. The dart wobbles back and forth as I stand back up, the sun behind me as I stand there proudly.

What? Did you actually think I was going to kill the goblin kid? Come on look at me, do you honestly see me with a gun? Once I touched it, it would probably start going off and I would have to keep apologizing even though my finger was no where close to the trigger. BANG "Sorry..." BANG "I hope you didn't like that too much." BANG  "Sorry my gun got a little excited and well..." BANG "Hopefully you wanted a hole in that." BANG "Wow talking about a hair..." BANG "Sorry..." The sucker dart is so much better, especially if a little bird lands on it when it is still stuck on the other person's head.

Sorry my imagination ran away with me. Where were we? Oh yeah, goblin standing over there and I am standing here.

The goblin is your standard fare goblin. With the green skin, big ears and nose and general gobliness. It stood there it eyes were the only things moving on it. Shooting from side to side, it's  skin was worn just as much as its clothes. Well the little amount of clothes the goblin had on.

I watched as the goblin brought a hand up, was it going to wave at me, then stuck a finger out. Let me check, yeah right finger. Then stuck it in its! Ew.........


((Oh my god don’t they teach Goblins manners?))

Catherine

Maybe it is the goblin way of saying 'hello' by sticking your finger up your nose. I think I will play it safe and keep my nose finger free, a friendly nod and 'Hello' works for me. It is friendly and easy to understand. Nose picking on the othe.... Oh my monkey he or she is all the way up to its knuckle and hasn't blinked yet. Picking and staring is sort of creepy. If it puts its other hand somewhere else and starts to......pick ear wax out of its ear I am out of here. Especially if it does a slow creepy laugh. Of course before I leave I would give the goblin a piece of my mind by going over and kicking it in the shin and point at it sternly, "That is creepy!" Nod once and then walk away.

So we just stood there, goblin picking its nose. Maybe its brain is itching and that is why it is picking it so deep. Oh and I am standing there getting nervous and wondering if I should offer the goblin a tissue.

I don't know how and I really don't want to know how, so if you recorded it click delete now,  but the goblin flicked its wrist at me flicking a big power ball of booger at me. Thankfully it was a big splat ball so it was slow and I was able to dodge just enough for it to whiz past me without getting snotted.

Quickly I turned back towards the goblin as it brought its hands up and started to flick. PING PING PING PING. Things rained around me and I am guessing the things was small snot balls peppering the ground, thankfully shooting from the nose means the aim is way off.

I didn't need anyone yelling at me telling me to do something so I start to dance and spin, trying to keep ahead and well away from taking a snot bullet by accident. They kept raining around me as danced away. PING PING I dodge to the right and a flower pot shattered so I went to the left and a teddy bear was torn apart by a stream of snot  pellets.

This has to be bad on the goblin's nose, I mean he was firing goobers at me as fast as a Gatling gun. PING PING PING. I glanced towards the goblin as I dove and could see his hands was just a blur. I hit the ground in a roll and kept rolling staying ahead of boogers. I did not want to fall in a rain of snot bullets. It would have to be a closed casket since I would be covered in snot like an ancient mosquito stuck in Amber.

Up I went when I hit a curb, why it was there I don't know. But I hit it and up I went and started to do one flip after another. The goblin had to run out of ammo soon and when it was reloading I can close in and shove a tissue up its nose.

Three or four flips forwards and bullets shattered the ground right in front of my hands. Alarms went off in my head, imagining myself wth snot covered hands. Ick! Green stuff dripping off. I know some one would ask if I needed to blow my hands or if my fingers had colds.

*warning. Warning. Immediate reverse thrusters. Repeat immediate reverse thrusters.*

I kicked it in reverse, forward momentum switches to reverse momentum and start to flipping backwards and the booger balls trailed behind me. In the back of my mind I knew if I didn't do anything soon I would sli....snotted. I just needed to figure out something to do.

A hairdryer set on high and shoved up the goblin's nose would work, but I forgot the extension cord and the hairdryer. I could flip underneath the goblin's nose and start to blow. Which would be really weird and I know people would give me the look. Calling me 'nose blower' and start rumors and everything. Wherever I went there would be snickering and wives would cover their husband's nose.

Around the goblin I spun, finally spying something and dove towards. POW POW POW! I swiped at the item with a hand as I flew by , my tail following me. Then dive toward the goblin swinging my hands up and THWUMP THWUMP. Up went two teddy bears up into the goblin's nose.

THWUMP! THWUMP!

Up I went, looking at the goblin. He couldn't fire at me so I was sort of safe......


((Do I have to really say it, don’t snort teddy bears. You will do odd things if you do and most will be at the hospital when they are trying to pull the teddy bears out of your nose while giving you weird looks. ))

Catherine

It was funny and I giggled for a moment, not to be rude or anything, seeing the teddy bears sticking out of the goblin's nose. The head of one of them looked like it was in the middle of a scream, help me I am being sucked into the nostril of doom I feel doom boogers rubbing against my toes. While the other looked like it was kicking trying to get itself free, almost like it was walking by and just got sucked in.

"Hey there, how are you doing? Do you see the symbol on my stomach? Have you heard of a place Care-a....." And THWUMP. Up the teddy bear goes into the goblin's nose. "Oh teddy. Oh teddy. Help me. Help me. There is something dripping on me. I think there might be a snake in here since I keep hearing hissing or I am stuck in a dragon's mouth. Both not very caring. Please would you spare a moment to save a teddy bear?"

Of course I know what I am seeing is just tricks of the light and how the teddy bears are squished into the goblin's nose. Although the look on the goblin's face isn't a trick of light or how it is being squished into a goblin's nose. Unless....... I pause and look, nope not being squished into another goblin's nose as far as I can tell. Something like the eternal goblin, one being squished into the nose of the other. Making some giant loop or something somehow. You would walk the entire loop and go "How the?" And I would answer with a "Don't know, just is."

The goblin's eyes are bugging out, its nose is full of bear of the teddy type. There might be a little teddy bear sticking out of its ears too. Let me look and unless goblins have hairy ears, which they might, I think I see a foot sticking out of one. Which means.... I grab a hold of the goblin's head and turn it to the side and look at the other ear.

*mentally wipe forehead*

Whew. No brain being pushed out of ear. I was worried for a moment. I mean if there is a teddy bear foot hanging out of the one ear that means there is a lot of room in the head and I thought maybe by accident I could have pushed the goblin's brain out. Quickly I do some measurements, pulling out a tape measure out of my bag. ZIP. Out it goes, okay back to front it is this. Ear to ear it is that. Now top to bottom it is. Okay taking in packing peanuts and bubble wrap. POP POP POP. Oops sorry the bubble wrap is always so fun. I always get the 'Will you cut that out!' Whenever some is ever nearby. Of course I put it down and POP. Hey that one popped itself I swear.

Okay back to the calculations, it might be a tongue poking out in the standard thinking pose for this. Okay take this and then that, carry the three, move the decimal point over since it would look better there. Now add the pi root of something, the goblin is green so I will go with Granny Smith Apple, then subtract a number and get..... This can't be right.... Let me check.... Okay do this and then that, carry this over there but slowly since it is heavy and get.... The same answer! That means there is no way that the teddy bear should be able to do what I am seeing unless it was into yoga, since it wasn't wearing yoga pants I don't think it is. So how?

*gasp*

I take a step back, hands still on goblin skin. Which is strangely smooth, like sandpaper. Maybe goblin's have really small brains! Like the size of a peanut or smaller.

*gasp again*

What if by introducing the teddy bears I overloaded the goblin's system and... I look down at the goblin's belly to see if there is any type of symbol on it, maybe a big leaking nose or something now. The teddy bears could have turned the goblin into a caregoblin, it will laugh and possibly make the symbol on its belly glow before shooting a rainbow out of it, while shooting sparkles out the back. Which wouldn't be good; the symbol, rainbow or the sparkles. Especially the sparkles since that would be a fire hazard.

*mental hand wipe across forehead.*

Whew no symbol on the goblin's belly. Could have marketed it though, not the symbol or the belly but the idea. Little girls could play with the teddy bears, boys too. But little boys could join in with goblin's.

"Hey Bobby you want to join me I got big heart bear and blush easy bear. You can borrow one."

"Sure Sally, I would love to play. I brought my own. See..."

"Bobby what is that?"

"This is a caregoblin, Snotty McSnotty. With the power of love he will make everyones' noses full of green boogers."

"I think it is broken Bobby, it is leaking."

"It is suppose to do that, his special name is 'Leaky'. You can follow the path to him and get a hug. Want to give him a hug?"

"Um.... No Bobby I don't. Sorry you will need to play with yourself. The whole being covered in snot doesn't sound fun."

"But Sally..."

"Bobby I am putting my foot down. No means no and something. You need to go somewhere else to play with your caregoblin."

 "Fine, you sure you don't want to hug it?"

"Yes Bobby I am sure."

Boys would love it, there would also be; Fartsomemore - lover of beans, Burpsalot - speaks only in burps, Hairy Armpits - you can style his hair in hundreds of different ways and so many more. I need to trademark that idea. STAMP! Trademarked.

The goblin starts to make a funny sound, sort of a slow spelled out laugh. "ha ha ha ha...." Was the teddy bears ticking the funny center in its head slowly? I looked up curiosity piqued and I watched as the goblin leaned its head back with every ha.

I wish I caught up with what was happening before it was too late. Alarms started going off and everything but I just stood there until ACHOO and I went flying across the street. They said the power of a sneeze is really powerful and I am funding it out furor fans as I get blown away, oh and the teddy bears are finding out too.

All I knew was, this was going to hurt. Since it wasn't the being blown here to there that hurt, it was the immediate stop at there that hurt. Unless there was pillows or something soft at there and it didn't look like it.


((What would be your caregoblin? Let me know...))

Catherine

When I hit the wall, I expect to crumple, every bone in my body instantly turned into jello and probably that disgusting lemon tasting jello too. That is how powerful a sneeze is I hear. We just don't know it because it is always so small. But this sneeze came from something not so small so it wasn't so small.

Like I said I expected to turn into jello when I hit the wall, it looked like it was made of stone. The math was easy, monkey girl caught off guard shooting backwards at a really fast speed plus big stone wall equals instant skeleton turned into jello. But I hit the wall and kept on going. Yeah there was a little bit of an impact but nothing on the scale of stone wall, no where close in fact. It was a lot less! But I was sort of busy at moment to see what it was, the whole shooting backwards thing sort of was keeping me busy at the moment.

It must have been the luck of the monkey or the cute and adorable or the ninja, but I bounced of a mattress that just happen to be sitting there leaning against the wall. Like I said luck, because to either side of that was stuffed porcupines. Which would have hurt. There would have been a scream followed by crying if not bleeding and asking 'Why?'

Walking out of the building I would have been shooting the goblin a not so happy look as I reached back, pulled off the porcupine still sticking to me with a POP and let it fall to the ground. Where even though it was stuffed it would walk away as I gave the goblin the power sign of I am watching you with a hand. Even putting a little extra pointing in the point.

But like I said I was lucky and hit a mattress and fell onto a mattress. Both big and comfy so when I hit it was like hitting a cloud, without passing through it of course. Bouncing off the one on the floor and landing on my feet. Tadah!

The only thing I worried about was bedbugs, could use them as a weapon though. Throw them like a shuriken or a throwing something or another, "Taste bedbugs, hiyah!" Zip. Zip. Zip. I gave myself the once over as I dusted myself off. No bedbugs as far as I can tell. My tail verified that it didn't find any either and just to be safe I checked between my toes. The last place that anyone who would be looking for bedbugs would look. Nothing and no moving moles either.

I crossed the room and back the way I came, yeah I could keeping going the way I went. Maybe running into the wall over and over again until break through. But just thinking of it was making my body ache, so I went the way I came. The hole was the and everything.

Wall by wall I passed through, picking anything I accidentally knocked off the first time through and placing it back where ever I might have knocked it from. Nodding before leaving each one. What? You shouldn't leave a mess after crashing through a wall and then others. Always try a leave a place better than you found it..

When I reached the 'stone' wall I reached up and squeezed. My fingers slowly  sunk in and just stood there. Did I acquire super strength ? I pull out a child proof aspirin bottle out of my bag and try to open it. With the baby safe lid it should be impossible. ERGH!  Yeah, no super strength and I had a pickle jar that i needed to have opened. Maybe the it, was that the stone was infected by stone termites which is silky. Stupid Styrofoam, I look like this but I am actually something else.

"That is it  sneazy. Yeah you surprised me the last time time you won't  the next."

The goblin pointed up to the side if its head and looked at me.

What was he trying to say, something about ear or something. I reach up with a hand SQUISH.

"Gross.........."


((If better not be what I hope it is not.))

Catherine

Do I need to say what my hand found? Do I really have to? It was green. It was sticky. It started with 'Boo' and ended with ick, I mean 'ger'. It should have ended in ick because that was the only thing going through my mind over and over. I don't mind getting a little slime on me but a booger, especially one of this size was a no. No, no and no. No matter how many people tell me how good it is for the skin,no!  It is a booger, boo ger.... Did I need to spell it out for you? B.O.O.G.E.R. I think I got it right, give me a second. Ah yes I did. Anyway you spell it still is Ick.

I just stood there for a moment, booger on finger, sort of stunned sort of not. More I need to get this off my finger before it gets comfortable and starts to set up a white picket fence on my finger or I gave it a name. Since I really didn't know what to call a booger other than 'ick' or 'ew, gross' or 'get if off', I was at a lose.

Standing there I heard something that made me squint with grrr, the goblin chuckling and I shot him a look that said a lot, so much I can't even put it here. "You find this funny, boogering me?

The goblin nodded, it's eyes never leaving my finger.

"There better be a way to get this off because I don't want to live with this the rest of my life."

The only thing the goblin did was pick its nose and flick, knocking over a garbage can ten or so feet down the block. Was it saying.... Oh no way am I going to...and then...oh no no no. "I am not going to stick my finger in my nose with your booger on it." I said stamping a foot. Who knows where the booger has been, other than up the goblin's nose. I just knew where it wasn't going, up mine!

I flick my hand forward, finger pointing at the goblin about to give him a piece of my mind. Hand went forward and out shot the booger and THWAP right on the goblin's nose. Just like a certain copyrighted arachnid themed hero. What the?

From where I was standing I could see the goblin's eyes cross as it looked down at the booger stretching across the street from my finger to its nose.

"Oh hey, I didn't mean to do that. I just wanted to..." I started to say as I dropped my hand down, which I had to jerk down thanks to the booger string. Not a moment later I heard a goblin scream and when I looked up I saw the goblin shooting towards me, arms flailing and everything. All I could think was it was trying to stuff me up its nose not that it was attached to my finger and well.... A certain monkey girl jerking her hand down well sort of... Hey how would I have known?

In a blink of an eye and a "uh oh" later, flying goblin meets standing monkey girl and.. Wow that sounds like a martial arts movie. I hope they do real bad job dubbing it, like by a couple minutes. Mouth moves and on to the fight screed and then you hear the voice.  The movie would finish but the audience would have to sit to fund out what was said right before the credits started to roll. No cheaters either! I would have the actors cover their mouths so no lip readers can spoil it for the everyone else. Of course there would be subtitles, but I am not sure what they would be to. Oh oh what if they were dubbed wrong to, maybe start running a minute or two before what they match up to. The critics couldn't rate it two thumbs down because it would say that, 'This is not a two thumb  down rated movie, just saying. But it isn't, look under your chair for something special and not the gum.

PCHOW. WACHA. KAPOW. HIYAH. CHING. Oh that was all dubbed bad, it is for an  upcoming fight scene.

So where was I, oh yeah flying goblin and standing me. Well I was only standing fir a moment longer until we both hit each other. Which stopped the goblin but sent me flying back through the fake stone wall and luckily into the mattresses again. BOING and up and.....

"Wait wait I am not fully up " I yell as I get dragged back out through the hole, I tried to grab hold of anything, to stop the well just stop, but of course what I thought was a real stone was not. SNAP went the rock in my hand and EEP!

Back I went, the goblin's eyes getting bigger and bigger as I made a beeline towards it. I think I could see my reflection in the goblin's eyes, hey when did I get that mole?

CRASH!!!!

Hey look starssssssooooooopppppprrreeeetttyyyy......


((Staaaaaarrrrrrssssssss))

Catherine

I wake up from daze which is good since that is what I am waking out of one. My head hurting like I cracked it against something or I drank one too many banana milkshakes too fast. My record is six by the way, anymore than that and my brain freezes and glaciers start to form on the top of my head. Which isn't good for the hair.

Slowly I push myself up, slowly swiping at the stars swirling around my head. Hey is that Sputnik? No just a low flying bird maybe... I bring a hand up try rub my forehead hoping that I haven't become a unicorn monkey girl, that is how bad my head hurt. One hand goes up and the other goes to my bag to get an aspirin or two out. Gently I feel around looking for a horn, pat pat no horn thank monkey. I can just imagine the jokes that I won't repeat because they haven't been said yet.

Down two aspirins go and ow.... I look at the other guy near me and  thank the bananas that I didn't turn out as bad as him. He hit so hard he turned green and has a big nose. Poor guy, i hope he will heal eventually. I get up an stumble, stupid world is spinning a little too fast. Whoop I think, no there, just need to get my feet over no I think over no I think I am going to URP. Just need to brace myself for a moment, a wall will do fine.

I take a couple wobbly steps and with a hand against the wall I stand there. Looking down of course, looking up and I would see the sun spinning around and I wasn't ready for that at the moment I think. Looking down I could see the green string like thing leading  away from my finger. Was one of running with a kite or balloon maybe and wham? Maybe we both had an idea together and it got out of control. I look at the string a little  more, hey wait a minute.... It isn't tied, it is stuck! Just like....

My eyes shoot open as realization washes over me, it is the booger goblin. It isn't a string connecting us to each other but a booger! I shake my hand and shake it more trying to get the booger to release its death grip on my finger, the whole time shooting the goblin a dirty look. Scowl and humph. All It did was smile, it knew what it did was wrong. You don't booger an innocent, that is a law somewhere it has to be. If not I am making it one.

Law number 66.266437 - No boogering the innocent or a stranger. Just no. Booger a friend yes. Booger anyone else no. Period and exclamation point and that means this is serious.

STAMP!!! Now it is a law. So no boogering a stranger or you are bad and will be thrown in jail. The key will be thrown away in some bottomless pit, never to be seen again. NO BOOGERING PEOPLE!

I kept shaking and shaking and I knew sooner or later my hand was going to go popping off. HUMPH and the goblin just smiled. I didn't want to be dragging around this goblin the rest of my life, explaining to people that I wasn't just walking my ugly dog. Come on people it walks upright! Then the jokes will start about the old ball and chain and I would growl. A finger would be pointed and people would be reminded that it was a booger string and not a chain. The goblin would probably lick my straw when I wasn't looking too.

Shake shake shake and all the goblin did was smile. So I did what any monkey girl would do in a situation like this, I shook my hand even harder. The goblin thought that was funny, my hand a blur and a booger string flying all over the place. I think it even snagged a bird as it flew by.

"That is it!" I yelled when the goblin broke into laughter. Never ever laugh at a boogered person that takes it to the next level. I think that is when the goblin realized it did something wrong and it tried to turn tail and run. It tried but elbow drop, punch down, straight punch, kick and something else. Oh you are wondering where the sound effects were, like I said the dubbing is off so those came earlier.

I stood there for a moment breathing hard. Marker in hand writing something on a piece of cardboard. SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK, "There," I said slapping the sign against the goblin who was all tied up at the moment, literally.

Somewhere in the fight, the booger string came loose, but I needed to set an example for any other law breakers. Okay hog tieing the goblin was a little too much, but I might have beaten the record.

Proudly I walked away, booger free.

The camera slips around to show the goblin and the sign, the light hitting it just right fir rage booger string to glisten the way boogers do. Oh yeah you are more interested in the sign, go ahead you can read it.

In nice markership, it said 'Boogered someone' with an arrow to the goblin. 'Don't be a boogerhead and break the law. It it is snotty and you know it, keep it to yourself.'


((That is a goal for everyone these next couple days. Don’t be a boogerhead.))

Catherine

I could hear the goblin struggling as I walked away, it would break free from the booger sometime and when it does I hope it learned its lesson. An important lesson, keep your boogers to yourself. I stop for a moment and look back for a moment and in that moment the goblin stops and gives me the big puppy dog eyes.

"It's not going to work this time," I say shaking my finger, no way no how. Being boogered by someone negates the effects of puppy dog eyes by that person. They cancel each other other. That is like something they teach in science or should at least. It would be an easy expirament to run, put a booger in a cute puppy's paws and flick the paw at someone. The booger would go flying followed by puppy dog eyes. Instead of a "this was so cute...." It would be more like hmmm..... Point to puppy then to booger then back to puppy then back to booger with a look of shock and awe on you face. I would stay awake during that class, oops I meant to say I would stay extra awake in that class. It isn't like that class is boring or anything, oh pour one chemical in with another and get slime wow...... If someone is taking requests I will take a white poof ball puppy with a black nose and a little pink tongue. I will name it 'Poofer' because it is a poof ball.

The goblin does the whole quivering bottom lip thing to and at that moment the light hit its eyes just right and ahhhh........ So cute. I take a step towards the goblin, lifting my hand a little to help the goblin out. It doesn't deserve to be wrapped up in a booger string. It did nothing wrong. Wait, what am I thinking? It boogered me, humph. Quivering bottom lip is now being ignored.

"That won't work on me either," I said reaching into my bag,"the only thing that will get you is this." In a blur of red fez, I pulled out a red fez hat out of my bag and placed it in the goblin's head. SHWOMP! Then adjusted the little dangling string thingie. "Perfect!"

Before I can be pulled in by anything else cute or adorable I turn and walk away. No looking back this time, booger goblin has a fez so all good.

And we are walking and we are walking, to the right side you will see various shops and little things to pull people in. Oh look a gift shop, let us go look. I try the door and find it locked. Well I guess we are window shopping here, which might be good actually come to think of it. Don't need to get any of those big foam thumbs that say 'I lost my lunch on that!' or any those weird shirts that hide in the back of the shops. The ones that if you get too close, when you blink you will find that you are now wearing. Never fitting right and maybe just a little too small. From where I am standing, behind the safety of the glass I can see the inside of the shop. There are shirts, foam fingers and even foam hats. Wait a moment, I can't believe it, there are stuffed lizards to, with sunglasses standing on wooden bases that says.... 'I had a tail of a good time at [insert park name]!' Let's go to the next place.

'Mike's house of freaks.' I think the name says enough and looking in the window I think I will stay outside. It looks like Mike has all of the standards; rat King, two head lamb and so on. The two headed Twinkie is different and from here it looks like it is quite old. Beyond its 'I am still fresh and soft' state. Oh look a bearded carp, I wonder how it would swim, wouldn't it get its beard stuck in the rocks? It is neatly trim and groomed though. Have to hand it to the carp, the beard is in fashion. Oh look one of those flea circus' but for cockroaches. No that is just a cockroach just running about.  I think I have seen enough, let's cross the street and see what is over there.

 I stop at the curb, again why is there a curb, to look both ways to make that nothing is coming to be safe before starting to cross. Doesn't look like anything is coming and the booger goblin is still fezed so as I cross i give it a friendly wave.

When I get a couple steps out I hear "Help me..."


((It is never good when you hear “help me” It can be a trap.))

Catherine

I look around trying to find who was asking for help. I know it wasn't the booger goblin but I looked anyways and it just shrugged, hey I was giving it the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it had forgotten that it was me that it tried to booger and I was just protecting myself in the long run, fez have that ability I hear sometimes. Something about the alignment of the sun and moon with the string on the fez. That if you look really hard you can see that the fez's fur is sticking up when everything is perfectly aligned. I hear that is how the witch controlled her flying monkeys, something about she had a master fez and the monkeys wore the slave ones. A dark day for monkeys, they should have revolted and thrown poo at her. Throw your fez down brothers and fling for freedom!

"Help me."

Okay it wasn't the goblin since I heard  the 'help me' but the goblin had its mouth closed. I look around more, was it one of the freaks? Maybe it was the bearded carp, I have seen those singing before. Which was always a little creepy. But it wasn't moving or anything. Maybe it was another one of the freaks wanting to be free.

I run over and press my face into the glass window. Was if the camel born with only one hump, forever mocked by other camels because it lacks in the hump department. But as far as I can tell its lips weren't moving. How about the stool pigeon? It looks questionable with those shifty pigeon eyes, sitting up there on its stool judging people. Why it picked a stool to build a nest on is beyond me. I would think the pigeon would constantly be worrying about if it's nest would be crushed by a butt. While it looks questionable the beak would prevent it from being  able to pronounce anything other than 'Coo'. So that is a no go. Anything else it could be? The unicycle riding pig? Cute but no' especially with the tutu. The llama thing? Wait a moment, quickly I duck down.

Shh...I think it was going it spit. Once you make eye contact with a llama it will spit at you, possibly at your eye you to, better remember. Ick. Yeah I know there was glass between us but I definitely wasn't going to push my luck that the south couldn't pass through glass. Sound type of smart spit maybe. The llama would spit and the spit would go and open the door to get at the intended target which would be me! It would chase me down, turning corners and taking one step at a time to be safe.

I hear the "help me" again and I look around. It definitely wasn't coming from the freak show and not the goblin so where. Nothing looked like it was moving Ariana here, other than the struggling booger goblin, so where?

"Help me...."

"I would," I yelled, "if I could find you."

"Up here...."

I look up a little towards the spider webs above me, maybe it was a fly caught in web that was wanting to be free. No flys, well at least no live ones and I am pretty sure there wasn't any undead ones as far as I know.

"Up here more...."

I look up even more, up at the tracks of a roller coaster which didn't look safe at all. Up to the top of the hill to a little figure what was laying there across the tracks, it's golden hair hanging down with some glittery sparkly stuff falling from it "You know that isn't safe right?"

"Yeah I know, but I am all tied up," the figure answered lifting its hands to show me that it's wrists were bound with a big thick rope.

"How?" I started to say, thinking and sort of wishing that maybe whoever it was up there was an escape artist practicing a trick and sort of got stuck. It makes sense, why practice on the ground and be all bored. Yawn. I can escape from rope on the ground, I want to be challenged and try it on a old roller coaster that looks like it might possibly fall down at any second.

"I got jumped after some weird cloud zapped me. I saw it just wandering around and thought it was lost. So I went to help it and zap!"

"I will be right up", I yelled back to the figure, looking around for the entrance for the roller coaster, an exit would do too. Preparing a list of things in my mind so I could rescue whoever it was safely. Rope, grappling hooks, protective goggles, climbing gloves and shoes. Oh and one of those big dogs that rescue people, the ones with a barrel strapped right under there chin. Which might be kind of hard to find here really, I doubt there is a concession stand that carries those. But I had the time and I needed to be safe and if it took me an extra couple minutes to find everything, it will be worth it, "I need to find a Saint Bernard, okay?"

"What?" The figure yelled back, "Why?"

"I want to be safe," I start to yell back when suddenly there was a loud nose, like the sound of a thousand and a half cats screaming. I could see the track of the roller coaster lurch from side to side which isn't a good sign. In that moment my walk turned into a run when I saw the line of roller coaster cars moving on another section of the track.

"I think the Saint Bernard has to wait, I will be right up." I yell running towards what I hopped was the right entrance and not another one. Hopefully there wasn't a line.

"Thank you..."


((Something tells me something is up and it will soon be me being up. Why can’t people get tied up in easy to get to places?))

Catherine

I hit the fenced in entrance running, every so often looking up to make sure there was still time and that whoever that was up there didn't have an unfortunate meeting with the roller coaster train. I pass up one sign and nod, there is no way I am going to push my hands outside of the car. Okay well this time I won't be in the car so I wasn't breaking anything there and I will need them to climb the hill. I pass another sign that says 'No spitting into the wind because the people behind you don't want to get wet!" well I never planned on doing that, I have heard the stories. Everyone is dry when they get on the ride and when it ends everyone behind the first car looks like they rode a log flume. Maybe that is where they got the idea from, someone spit on a roller coaster and an idea bulb went off and the log flume was invented, minus spitting of course. Unless you believe the urban legend that the water is from beavers spitting somewhere on the ride. Which sort of makes sense if you think about it' do you ever see trees around the rides? Think about it... Beavers like trees and the trees sort of just disappear hmmm.....

The fence keeps going and going, I think I have actually ran past the ride itself and probably into the next country. Three is no way that there is this much walkway for this ride. It looked like it was only twenty or so feet away at the beginning and I have ran like twenty miles. I stop and look back for a moment, it definitely looks like it has been a run. With a sigh I let my shoulders drop, it is one of those. Why they insist on putting them in the lives for rides isn't fair.

"Oh hey this line looks like it is short, let's get into it." Wait a couple minutes to get you into a false sense of security and to get you trapped then WHAM, the trap is sprung. You turn the corner and that little line isn't so little anymore. You now are waiting in a line that you might have to wait in all day. All you can say is "What the? How the? Isn't the? Wasn't the? Oh snd I hope I brought water and a signal flare."

I yell up to the person on the tracks, "Yeah it is going to take me a little longer I am stuck in one of those bigger in the inside things. It works for an owl doctor but it dirt of sucks here."

"Okay, thank you please hurry up." Is all that the person answered.

"I will try," I reply as I crouch down and get ready. Hands down on the ground and butt up with my tail now wearing ones of those aerodynamic suits. Three....two....one, I count to myself then take off in a sprint. ZOOM! I shot down the pathway in a blur if there was any loose paper it would be dragged behind me.  I don't even know that cameras could pick me up. All there would be was a blur in front of a perfectly in focus background. People would look at and go 'What is that?' Rumors would start that it is a photo of a Bigfoot who ate too much tree bark and grass and well... I will just leave it there. Some will say it is a photo of a Ufo that is shooting low to the ground after abducting a cow. Um no, there are legs. Then there will be some saying it is a government cover up of what happens when models get hungry. That it was so horrifying that they had to photoshop the photoshopped file just to be safe, because nothing can be that blurry. Wrong, I am blurring that much at the moment.

Not going to bore you with tons of words saying I am running and running and running on and running. All I am going to say is that I ran a lot in a straight line and nothing. Out of breath I stop and let it catch up to me, I look back and then look to where I have to go. Okay it doesn't look I got anywhere at all. I consider for a moment in jumping the fence, I could just walk over there no biggie. It is only just right there but I thought the same thing with line too. There is no way I going to be tricked again that and there is a sign saying 'Keep off the grass!'

I look around no signs of escaping the infinite waiting line, I could try running back the best I came but that just gets me back to the beginning and I need to be at the end. Could tie a strung to the fence so I don't get lost but I am not lost either. Then what, not going to give up. I don't think the person on the tracks would be too haloy.

"Yeah I am giving up. You will have to get yourself out of the predicament."

"But my hands are tied."

"Sorry, giving up see you later."

Scream. Crash and boom later and well.....I can't give up. Nothing master has taught me will help me here I think, so I will have to wing it. Sometimes that is the best,can't plan for everything. I look around, yeah no little boxes saying 'In case of infinite waiting line loop break glass' either. So how am I going to get out of this and save whoever is on the tracks?

I close my eyes to think and focus,  since I don't have to worry about anything dangerous I start to walk forward. Even I can walk in a straight line with my eyes closed. I can do two things at once, of course if there was stairs I would have trouble. I would even be falling down or stubbing my toes as I found them.

So how do I get out of an infinitive loop, I ask myself. Simple really, just get out of it. Loop is here and if I step over there or there I am out of it. I just need to figure out where there and there is and problem solved. Hmm.....

Suddenly I run into something and nearly fall over whatever it is, slowly I open one eye and look down to see the fence. Did I manage to turn sideways somehow, I ask myself as I look around. No I am seeing fence on either side of me and fence in the front of me and here I am. Wait that sort of sounds like a song. Fence on the right of me, fence on the left and here I am stuck in the middle with you....

Did I? How in the?

"Have you forgotten about me?"

"What?" I answer looking up, "oh no, no. I didn't forget about you. I will be right up I promise."

"Please hurry it sounds like the train is getting close."

"I will," I reply as i take of running, back and forth in the waiting line corral. Over and over I am teased with almost being there and it gets pulled away as I am forced to run away. Over and over..... Until I drop to my knees at the end and throw my hands up in the air, "Freedom!"


((If I get to a sign that says “You must be this tall” and I am a little too short to save the victim. Someone will be upset.))

Catherine

 "Have you forgotten about something?"

I look around, trying to find the source of the question.

"Up here...."

Looking up I see the person tied down to the roller coaster tracks, oh yeah that person.

*imaginary snap of fingers*

"No...no, I didn't forget about you. Hands tied up  in a place that isn't too safe. Roller coaster train coming and splat." From where I was at, I could see the person wince with the whole splat thing and I realize I might have chosen the wrong word. "Oh... Sorry I meant forceful side splitting hug," I said with a smile, fingers crossed when'd my back. Please be good enough.......

"I guess that is better, it still sounds painful though. So are you going to save me?"

"Yeah doing that now barring any more run ins with infinite waiting lines. Which..." I look back to see where I was and where I am, "I shouldn't have that problem anymore. Be right up, but just in case stop, drop and roll."

The figure picked itself up a little and looked at me, "That doesn't make any since. If I rolled I would fall."

"Yeah sorry, I was trying to say something that would take your mind off the if I don't make it to you in time doom."

The person started to lay back down and shot back up, "Wait what?"

"Oh sorry, wrong choice of words again. Let me think," my tongue comes out for a moment as I think, "okay, don't look the train directly in its eyes. It sees that as challenge. Be right up." I hop of the deck and down to the tracks. In the back of my mind I am asking what will happen if I touch both tracks at once. Will the smell of burning hair fill the air? Will I become a crispy critter? Will my eyes bug out as I turn to ash while I say 'Oops'? Will I become one of the ingredients of a smoke bomb, a cute and adorable one, maybe sparkles would fill the air after I am thrown on the ground?

Thankfully I don't find out and I fought  the urge to find it when I land to. I grab wood and take off running and hitting the end of the platform quickly. Then it becomes difficult, I try to the best of my abilities stepping from board to board, so a run becomes a fast walk with the added worry of falling through and getting stuck. My head above, my eyes getting bigger abs bigger as the roller coaster train closes in while the rest of me underneath is kicking, jerking and pushing trying to get my head on the same side of the boards as they were. Yeah there was the whole falling thing but that was better than eating a rollercoaster car. Which I am trying to cut back on anyways, I heard they aren't good in your figure.

I really don't need to go to the doctor and have her give me a look, do one of those pointing of the hands that says, 'oh I can't wait to hear this' and then say, "Miss Smith please explain." Eek that makes me sound so old.... I would of course try and explain, there  person and I was trying to save him or her and started to run up roller coaster tracks to get them and my foot slipped  and well my head got stuck on the wrong side of roller coaster tracks and well I found out how a roller coaster train tastes against my wishes of course and I am pretty sure that I will never eat one again. Click goes the doctor's pin to scribble some notes down which I would try and see. She would put me on a diet, cutting out all the good stuff and all I could have is kale; kale shakes, kale pancakes, kale steaks and everything else kale. I don't mind looking at kale from a distance, especially with a cookie in my mouth but that is where I want that relationship to end.

I had the whole fast walk down to until the track started to go vertical then it became tricky. A fast walk became a slow walk and  almost a hop before turning to a climb. Hand up and foot up. Other hand up and other foot up. Repeat as I climb upwards.

"Are you getting close because I think the train is getting close."

"Yeah, I am almost there," I answer as I pull myself up even closer. WOOF! That wasn't a dog, because that would be really odd if there was one sitting here.half the way up the coaster. The woof came from me, I would do anything for stairs like the ones right next to me. Oh, he he... I shimmy over to the stairs, stand up and take off up the stairs.

Stairs definitely do make climbing inclines easier I will tell you. Still don't like them and wish this one was an escalator but I am not complaining. Better than climbing and definitely better than a ramp. Especially at this angle. Only a little further to go...

And made it!

*Cheer and applause*

"Thank you. Thank you. I would like to thank my mom and dad for everything they have ever done for me. My brother and I don't know why.Oh and the banana milkshake that I hope I will be slurping soon."

"Excuse me but can you put off all of the bowing and speech giving until after I am free."

"Oh sorry," I say turning around to look at the person laying there and I just stand there stunned, "Do I know you? 


((Witty comment but the moment is tense so it will have to wait p.))

Catherine

"Yes we met before," the little blonde haired girl answered as she offered me her wrists.

I start to undo the knots and knots knotting the knots then these things over here. Not sure what they are really but they look like they have to be undone. As I am working on one, getting my thumb caught in a sheep shank and nearly losing it, I look up for a moment,"You look familiar..."

The blonde haired girl nodded enthusiastically, "That one time with the tentacles, then that other time with the tentacles. Come to think about it every time I have seen you there are tentacles." The little blonde looked at me questionably, "Are you into tentacles? It is okay if you are and everything."

My eyes shot open when I heard about being into tentacles, "What no!" My head shaking so fast I might have been able to mix paint or make my own milkshake, hey wait a second.... No no not the time or place. Maybe if I was on the ground, but not up here on the hill. Milkshake would be done, tongue would come out and everything would just slow down as the milkshake fell away. No.............

*imaginary tear rolls down my cheek at just the thought of that great lose*

Sniff. Sniff. It would be a sad day that day if that happened. Sniff. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I would jump.... No that would hurt, I would walk down the stairs slowly, dressed all in black and stand there over the fallen body of the milkshake. SLURP! What? It is sad and I needed something. SLURP.

Have I ever told you that banana milkshakes are good? What? I have? Okay, like banana gold.

"Um... You might want to hurry," the little blonde said as she looked nervously down the track.

With rope in mouth and everything I grunt, well not grunt grunt but sort of partially grunt "I am.. Have you changed something about yourself.  Maybe your haircut?"

The little blonde just shook her head as I wrestled with the rope and in the back of my  mind I could sense it was getting the better of me.  It was like origami but with rope, so like ropami, orirope or oriropigami. Just thinking about it is getting me all tied up, I will just call stuff. I lift an arm and pull the rope back while pushing down another part with a foot. "Any moment now...." I say grabbing another part with my teeth,  grrr growl grrrr...

I push and pull and I think I.... Suddenly the rope has my arm pulled back in a chicken wing half Nelson type move. Urk! I quickly glance down the track and can see the rollercoaster train barreling down on us. I struggle, pulling and chewing on the rope, there has to be a way. With both hands I push the rope upwards. Grrrr........it lashes out and snaps me across the butt, "Ow!"

"Can you please hurry..."

"Yes i am trying to, but some of the knots  are fighting me," The tracks rocked from side to to side managing to untie the last knot I think. I never thought knot  untying would be so hard, I thought it was just untie and a length of rope, now knot free. I never expected it to snap at my face, baring the fangs it didn't have as I pulled free.

"Take this," I yelled as I threw the rope then turned to the little blonde. "Come with me if you want to live," I said offering my hand, the tracks slowly rocking back and forth under me.  I so always wanted to say that but it never felt right. Especially that one time, bad call on my part and who would have Known. Now it was perfect time so I couldn't pass it up so I repeated myself, "Come  with me if you want to live."
 
The blonde just rolled her eyes as she took my hand. It worked! It did fit, I knew it.


((Victim untied and a win. Just hope nothing happens. Find out next time.))

Catherine

With a tug, the little blonde is up and standing, my tail keeping its eye on the approaching rollercoaster train, "I swear I know you from somewhere. You look familiar."

"We have meet. I tried to take a ticket from you once and then was trying to control the little clouds as you shot by. Which by the way the one refused to behave, it kept shooting lightening bolts at me."

"But..." I started to say looking at the little blonde, "the person had wings and you don't." Grabbing the blonde by the shoulders and flipping her around to see if there was any wing like protrusions on her back to make sure. No, none just a shadow of the silver halo hanging over her head. Hey wait a minute.... "Okay those," I start to say as I point up to the halo, "aren't normal and having one means you are an angel or you have ring around the head. Which I doubt since your head..." I pause again to stick my thumb on the blonde's forehead and wipe down, then look at my thumb "yeah, your head is clean so no ring around the head."

"Thanks..." The little blonde said, rubbing her forehead with a hand, the whole time giving me 'Why did you do that for?' look.

"If I remember correctly you are Dani?"'

"Yes," the little angel answered, nodding as she continued to rub her forehead. It wasn't like I poked and rubbed that hard. It was a light poke and rub, Q-tip light in a scale from Q-tip to eighteen wheeler. I guess angel foreheads are sensitive maybe, is she about to cry? Is that a tear in the corner of her eyes? I didn't. It was barely a tape at most. Her head didn't go flying back or anything. No thunderous voice saying, 'Hypersonic uber delta omega sigma poke attack. Finish her!'  I look up to see if there are any health bars hovering over us, maybe Dani's was already low and the poke was all it took. There was nothing up there, not even a timer counting down, just clouds and sky and a bird.

"Um, what are you looking at?"

"What?" I say looking down, "Oh nothing, I thought that bird said hi and I looked up to see if I knew it or not. It must have been talking to someone else."

"What?"

I was about to answer when my tail tapped me on my shoulder. "Yes?" I as, looking over to it to see it pointing frantically at something. I turn my head a little to see what it is pointing at and gulp, "okay yeah, we need to go now. Can you run faster than a speeding rollercoaster train?"

"Um no, the robe keeps me from doing that. Drag and everything"

"That is good because neither can I," I say looking back at the train as it gets closer and closer, "Wings? No sorry."

I look back and then over the side of the tracks. There was no choice, had to and it would be really dramatic to. I grab a hold of Dani's shoulder and push her off the track and jump after her.

The camera zips around and catches that perfect dramatic angle at just the right moment. Of course everything slows down even the sparks shooting from the rollercoaster's wheels. Hey they are pretty I wonder... Ssssss...... Ow, hot! Okay never going to do that again. Anyway dramatically slow slow down jump from track captured at just the right angle.  Boom! Flash of light and slow pigeons later. Okay that last part didn't happen but it would have been cool if they did.

Dani is thrashing in the air, I though Angels were use to air too. But she is freaking out, screaming and yelling and saying she didn't look forward to the impact at the end. I slip my imaginary parachuting goggles on, don't want to take a goose to the eyes and pull my arms back against my body. Quickly my fall accelerates an I shoot towards Dani. Closer and closer I get until I can wrap my arms around her in a monkey hug.

"I got you," I shout to Dani moments before I pull the ripcord and the parachute pops out behind me. What? Do you think I would waste a moment like what just happened? Nope.. I would smile but bugs are hard to clean out from between my teeth, they always fight the floss.

Slowly we descend in lazy circles towards the ground, "I said I was going to save you." I give Dani a smile and PTOW okay I forgot. Dani nodded and held on tight as the ground came closer.

We were safe now unless the rollercoaster jumped the tracks, I look up for a moment and mentally wipe my forehead, whew!


((Victim saved all in the day of a hero. *proud pose*))

Catherine

Okay some might be asking, Monkey where did you get that parachute? We didn't see it on your back or anything. We think you are cheating somehow and we were looking up to you.  Now we are crying in the inside.

What no don't cry. I didn't cheat or anything, I had the parachute honest. I grabbed it at one of the gift shops at the park and just didn't say that I had one. I didn't think it was that important or anything. Just a 'Wow cool I  will get this for my brother' sort of thing so he wouldn't complain about getting a t-shirt or half eaten candy. Before you ask I didn't get him a half eaten one, that would have been mean. I got him a full one, my mouth just got hungry from where I bought it and to him. It was a really long distance between there and there, like six steps. Gift shop pygmies jumped me and everything. Had me cornered in the postcard section and I thought I was going to starve, luckily I had the chocolate bar. I told him the truth when he asked if I snacked on it. "No," I answered as I slowly shook my chocolate covered face.

So I didn't cheat in fact I got the parachute from the gift shop right there. Thank monkey I got it or it would have been really painful after jumping from the top of the  rollercoaster. Kowabunga..... Second things no..no...no... Followed by frantically trying to learn how to fly by flapping arms, ears and anything else that can be flapped.

Slowly we descend until feet touch the ground. Immediately Dani drops and rolls, why I don't know but I laugh as she rolls across the street and then stands up, throwing her arms out. I am not sure where she got that from, whistle.....

What the? The one judge gave her a perfect score! I have rolled use as good as Dani and threw my and out with jazz hands and didn't get a perfect score. Something must be up, maybe the judge has been accepting bribes or something. Maybe he likes harp my music and since Dani is an angel.... It all makes sense when mixed with a healthy dose of conspiracy. "It all makes sense..." I whisper as I slowly nod.

The wind catches the chute for a moment dragging me backwards for a couple feet and in a blink of an eye I drop and roll backwards. Master always taught me to use another's momentum against them. So I roll and flip up at the last second, jumping up onto the parachute. Trying to push it to the ground.

Like a wild horse it fights me, it doesn't want to be broken. It has tasted freedom and wants to run free. But parachutes shouldn't be allowed to run free. Things happen when they are allowed to blow wherever they want. They go feral and start to attack anyone and everyone.

Just imagine little Bobby playing on the jungle gym. He stops and waves at his mommy. A gentle wind blows, messing up Bobby's hair and suddenly it attacks. The parachute, out of nowhere it blows in and covers the little Bobby. Before his mommy can do anything the parachute blows away taking Bobby with it. The humanity....

I hold on tight to the parachute as it fights until the fight is taken out of it and the wind stops blowing. I throw out my arms and legs and try to flatten out the parachute onto the ground. I fight the urge to hog tie it since it isn't a hog and more importantly the parachute doesn't have legs. So it would be kind of hard to hog tie when it has no hogs to tie.

But I need to so something before it escapes, with one hand I pull out the Boy Scout manual, there will be something in there. Flip. Flip. Three leaf covers and leprechauns, the cruel dark secrets.  No but no no, don't have the time. Flip. Flip. Flip. Bald eagles, they aren't really bald! Gasp! No..... Flip. Flip. Flip. How to is identify grass. Well that is kind of easy, it is grass-like, it is grass. Flip. Parachute origami, fun facts to fold your chute so there is no surprises when you jump.  Quickly I scan the page, wow it Even has the directions for a giant origami bunny.  It looks cute and well... No better not.

I start hurrying about, taking flap A to flap B and so on. Until sitting there whee the giant parachute was once covering was a little rectangle no bigger than a deck of darks, as I pick it up I look toward Dani, "tell me how you lost your wings again."


((What would wingless Angels do? Go around hitting people with their harps? Play horseshoes with their halos? Find out next time.))

Catherine

"Well like I said," Dani said as she started to walk back and forth in front of me. "I saw something that looked like a lost cloud floating about. I couldn't have that, lost clouds are bad." Dani said nodding as she took a deep breath, then her hands started to fly around. I am not sure what she was doing really, maybe expressing with her hands what happening. Definitely not a popcorn eating thing to watch. There was some action but nothing to keep me on the edge of my seat though, hand up and hand down.

I heard Dani mumbling something, maybe trying to explain things to herself I don't know, I know she nodded a lot and was afraid her head was going to come undone and roll to my feet, which would be followed by a scream and a THUMP as I fainted. It would be a soft thump though, more hand to forehead and 'Oh my" followed by me laying down on the ground. I did catch 'cloud', 'bad' and 'ice cream' though.

A deep breath later and Dani continued, "I saw what I thought was a wandering cloud. Concerned I flew down to see if I could help it, that is when I got my ticket punched. You see what I thought was a cloud wasn't really a cloud, well it was one but not really. It was sort of off. It sort of looked like a...." A hand came up as Dani stood there and in a way it looked like she was using an invisible hole puncher to punch tickets.

"Like a bunch of colors dancing around in one spot like a rave?"

Dani nodded enthusiastically, "Yes and with a pipe coming out the top. I tried to talk to it since I am a cloud whisper." She want quiet for a moment and did some strange fish face sort of thing and smiled, "I just said, how are you, in cloud."

All I did was shake my head, since it looked like she was kissing an invisible fish. I thought I even heard  her whispering something about bass. That could have been me really, putting words into the little angel's mouth, not that I would do that or anything.

*mental whistling*

Not like angels and fish are anywhere close to each other. Angel equal clouds and fish equal water. So there is no way they would just accidentally meet. Wait a moment I forgot flying fish. Hmm..... I could see that maybe, "Dani when was the last time you were near the ocean?"

Dani blinked, a little confused with the massive change in subjects, "What? Why?"

"Just checking a theory," I answered with a smile. The age old question, that never has been answered but always asked, might finally be answered. I think I thought that right..... Anyways we might soon find out if duh duh duh, Dani likes to kiss fish. Shhh.... I think she is about to answer.

Dani looks down, slightly embarrassed as she shakes her head. "No I haven't, I don't know how to swim. So I stay away just in case something happens and I might fall in. That and we have angel fish taking care of the oceans."

Well drat, I thought I had something there. I guess she was actually talking cloud and not imagining sucking carp face.

"Are you daydreaming?" I heard Dani ask and I shook my head, "What? Oh no no. A thought came to mind and it was shiny. Please continue."

Dani took another breath and continued, hands flying again. Maybe it is all of the harp playing that makes little angel hands so animated. "Okay so I was trying to talk to it when it zapped me. Sending me flying backwards into a bush, which really hurt because it had thorns. All I remember hearing before I passed out was 'Ding'."

Dani stopped walking and tossing her arms around, "When I woke up I was tied up and surrounded by goblins. Oh and quickly find out what Ding meet." She took a step towards me and swept  her hair back. For the first time, I realized that Dani's nose was red and I was about to offer her a tissue when.. She bright a hand up and touched her nose with a finger. DING!

I started to laugh and quickly caught myself and starts to apologize, "Does anything else Ding?"

Dani answered with a look and "No."

"Okay, so it sounds like you had a run in with Audokornet"

Dani nodded.

"Probably want your wings back," I said looking around.

Dani nodded again.

"Let's see what we can find, that shop over there looks promising."smile and point, "Let's go look."


((Angels always thump that is what they do. Known fact there, why do you think they carry harps for. Not all of them can play them. “Hi there it looks like you have been bad.” *thump* ))

Catherine

Dani's head bobbed up and down next to me as we crossed the street, after looking both way of course. Amusement park traffic can be bad at this time of day, people coming and going not paying attention because of all of the fun they had or are about to have. Luckily we didn't have that problem, empty street for as far as the eyes could see. Well up to there on the right since the street ended there and everything but the other way was pretty far.

Checking the door we find it open, which is good since if it wasn't and it was locked it would have cut this trip short. We could have done the whole thing from the window but that is just a bunch of teasing there.

"Oh those look nice. Look at those, I think they would look great on your back. They so say 'i am angel hear my wings flap and halo whistle in the wind.' But alas since they are behind a glass, you can only imagine. I picture Dani sniffing once as she lifted a hand and place it against the glass. A tear rolling down her face, the camera following it as it does. I could light it just right as the tear rolls down Dani's cheek so it shimmers. Lowering the light as the tear falls and BANG. I get so excited as the  tear nears the jumping point that I didn't realize how close the light was and well when the tear jumps. I jerk the light down and light meets Dani's head. There was a hollow sound as they hit, we will stay it is the light okay and not.... Do you hear that sound? It sounds like someone is growling.

It isn't my stomach so I am safe there. If I had to say, it sounds like a bear but I don't see any. What a second, why are you gritting your teeth for Dani? What is with the opening and closing of your fists? I said it was the light and not you Dani, honest. Didn't you hear that? No? But I did honest.  What are you going to do with my tail. Hey, ow! Stop that isn't nice. Ow! Ow! Ow!

Thankfully none of that happens since the door is open. Which is good since I am not really good at undoing knots that are done around my neck. Some little angels, you accidentally clang them aside the head with a light and they get violent in your imagination. Tsk. Tsk. We enter and I flip the switch, hopefully the electricity is..... Yes the light flickers on and we have shopping.

Looking around it looks like we have stepped in the middle of a shop for closplayers, you name it and it is there. Various robotic parts built of cardboard, things made from foam, plastic things vacuumed sucked around various forms and tons of other things. I pull out a box from a shelf, blush and shove it back. Even things made of leather.

"I think we stand a pretty good chance in finding you wings," I say, nodding my head as I look back at Dani who is in the process of picking up a sailor outfit with a big pink ribbon on it, "You might want to stay with what you have on, that only guarantees smart phones being whipped out and photos taken as you fly by." Dani gives me the 'what the?' look then blushes when she realizes what I am saying.

"Don't need that," Dani said as she neatly folded the dress and put it back, "no photo collections of Dani exposed."

"Nope," I replied as I headed deeper into the shop, past questionable things. I point and ask why constantly and Dani just shrugs or says "I don't know" every time. I mean honestly whips and what are with these ball things? I don't think you can play tennis or anything with leather on either side of the ball. I pick one up and toss it down, disappointed when it doesn't bounce. So basically useless as a ball, the only thing that is good is the snaps on either end of the leather which would make it easier to carry when your hands are full.

I give the useless ball thing a kick as I keep delving deeper and deeper into a darkened area and it goes flying away to wherever the useless ball things go. Probably over there, don't know. Things happen in darkened area, everyone knows that. I prepare and freeze when the lights kick on with a loud buzz. I have seen enough horror movies and know, lights come on just to light the metal of saws, axes or anything else just right, right before they do their job.

"Dani keep your eyes open, something might be be jumping out any moment now."

"Why?" I heard Dani ask behind me.

"Light and horror movies, when they kick on for no reason screams will be following."

"Um,  I flipped the light switch," Dani answered.

I turned, "What?" and see Dani standing there pointing at a light switch, "Ah okay." I turn back around and catch a glimpse of feathers. "I think we found the wing department."

Quickly we head over to where the feathers were spotted and ahhhhhh...... [singing voices in tune.] "It looks like you given a choice," motioning with a hand in a sweeping motion. There are all type of wings of all shapes and sizes. Big ones and little ones. Ones that look like bird wings, butterfly wings and even ones that look like ones done by engineers. I am think those take special licenses to use, not sure how they operate either. Do you pull the cord and then slip on, hoping that it doesn't flap away of do you put it on and then pull the cord, arm in some strange angle?

Dani's eyes slowly expand and her mouth drops open. I am hopping no birds of insects take advantage of that.

"Do you see, " I start to say and get shh'd by Dani, her eyes shooting from one set of wings to the other. "Fine I will be other there looking around. Maybe kicking another one of the useless balls around so it feels useful."

"Shhhh...."


((Just wait little angels are known to have volume control issues, I am guessing she is going to yell “WHAT?” Next))

Catherine

I look back at Dani as I grab another one of the useless balls. Looking at her sitting there looking at the wings I guess they are really important. I could see her doing calculations with her hands, maybe taking the characteristics of each into consideration. As I toss the useless ball up I could hear Dani talking to herself, "okay that one is bigger so the flight characteristics would be......."

 If it would have been me, I would have just walked up and grabbed a pair. Slap of hands together and decided. But for an angel I guess they are more important. It is actually quite fun to watch Dani moving turning from side to side, pointing and listing off the characteristics of the wings she was pointing at.

The useless ball arcs up and back down, catching it with the top of my foot I send it back up. The snaps clicking together as the useless ball goes flying skywards then clicking again when the useless ball reached as far as I could before falling back down. I kept this up for a while before the useless ball we sailing away.

As I reach for another useless ball I ask Dani how is it going. "Going fine," was her answer as the useless ball arced upwards, "I have it down to three of them."

"Any of them butterfly wings?" I ask jokingly and I hear her do a dismissive sound before answering back, "Those are for fairies obviously not Angels. That and halos and butterfly wings don't mix, everyone knows that. It was the in thing  back in the sixties, but.... " she stopped and shook her head, blonde hair flying up a little, "flower child's ."

"Any of them black?" I asked again jokingly and I heard a gasp.

"Oh no those are only for the fallen angels and no one else. While stylish sometimes and are fitting for some events such as formal ones, those are only for the fallen. You can't even special order them. White is for good and black is for bad, simple as that"

Up went the ball and back down click and click. Up it flew it again, click and back down, click. "So what is keeping you from deciding?"

"Size really, the whole goldilocks thing. I want to find a pair that is just right. If they are too big then I will look ridiculous but if they are too small they will look ridiculous too." Dani answered, motioning with both of her hands towards the three sets of wings that she had picked out.

Click. Up. Click. Down. "The one on the right looks good, don't you think?"

"That is what I was thinking, but I wanted to see all of them next to each other. It is kind of hard to compare when the wings are hanging on the wall, there, there and there." Again Dani motioned with her hands towards the wall, while she looked at wings.

Click. Up. Click. Down.

I watched as she picked a pair up, held it up for a moment before putting them back down. Then repeated with the pair next to it than put those back down. Finally picking up the last pair for a moment before putting them back down.

Click. Up. Click. Down.

"This is really hard," I heard Dani say as I spun around and kicked the useless ball back into the air. "I never thought I would be shopping for wings. I was born with the last ones and everything."

"Well which ones look like your old ones?" I ask as the snaps on the useless ball clicked.

Dani thought for a moment, biting one of her fingernails. "Well I think that one there, " she answered motioning with her free hand.

I leaned forward a little and caught the useless ball in the curve of my neck, "Well then you should get that pair then. Like you said too small Nd it would be ridiculous and too big and it will look like you are compensating or was embarrassed with your original pair." Up went the useless ball and well poo, went sailing off somewhere unseen.

"Get those and I am sure they would be good."

"Okay..." Dani said as she picked up the wings, looking at them and then the other wings.

"They are fine.... Let's get outside so you can try them on."

"K," Dani answered, looking back as we started to leave.

"Go get the ones you want," I say laughing and watch as Dani nods, runs back and grabs another pair of wings. "Happy now?" Dani answers with a thumbs up and smile.

"Good." 

We head outside and I turn around, "Need help putting them on?"

"Nope," Dani shook her head, "just turn around." I laugh and turn around, behind me I hear snaps and zips and button sounds before hearing "Ready."

I turn around and there is Dani standing there proudly with her new wings. She starts to fidget, saying how they feel funny and that might be a little bigger than her other pair and the white of the feathers might be a little off and there is one feather that is sort of bothering her and then finally asks if they make her look fat.

I laugh, "No they don't make you look fat. You are..." I have never seen anyone move so fast and glare at me. "....are fine." Followed by nervously laughing.

"Good," Dani said smiling and I nodded. Angel has wings check, now what? Oh.....


((Lesson learned don’t say wings make little angels look fat or they will stare and stare. No blinking just staring. It is creepy.))