The point at which i bitch about books.

[TheLaughingOne]

First off, i want to give a spoiler warning. Im gonna try and vent without giving to much away, and maybe use spoiler button thing to hide them. But once i get going i cant always keep up with myself.

So i read and listen to alot of books. Mostly audiobooks as i can plug them in at work and listen as i go.

Normally, this is fine!! Problem is i tend to come upon the random book that is........

Well, some are stupid. Some are juat poorly written, and some are just shit. And occasionally, just occasionally, some are absolutely fucking nuts.

The one i just dropped is poorly written, at least in my opinion. I should state that, these are just my opinions im venting out.

Im a star wars fan, i enjoy the series, even prequels had good points. And bad. Lately ive read more books, and happened upon one called battlefield 2: inferno squad.

The idea is thst the book follows a squad oc imperial specialists after the events of rogue one and new hope. They are formed to counter special operations and intelligence groups of the rebels and others. I REALLY LIKE this idea, they are suppose to be a quasi heroic face to the empire, and i like things like that, showing the villians arent just seig heil space nazis. Problem is... its not well written.

The characters go on at length about how awesome it was thst the empire blew up alderaan, and screw the imperial citizens cause rebel base!! But then it turns right around and these same characters are horrified and outraged thst a rebel attack caused light casulties in an attack and how dare they hurt civilians!!

I know there are people like that, but it reads like poorly done social comentary, especially with how they label everything terrorist attacks. It just gets old quickly. The characters are so dense and stupid it wears out quickly. This is made even worse by the fact that the rebels they are infiltrating are an extremist group who dont care about civilian casulties. But then they try really hard to make them seem worse then the empire, but even still.. its the god damn empire!! You kniw how evil they are, and a group of 8 guys hiding in cavesntaking pot shots doesnt even stack up until they start doing uncharacteristicly stupid things like targeting children for bombing attacks.

Further pushing the problem is the inferno squad characters have no character arcs, they are the same at the end, or as close as i got before rolling my eyes and giving up, as they are at the end. But the rebels, even most background characters have more of an arc and are more relatible then our main characters.

So there isnt any real take away from this book. The empire and its soldiers dont come off as any better then before, if anything worse with how blind, stupid, and completely ignorant. and the more darker aspect of thr rebel group seem more human, people hurt, tortured, and had their lives and loved ones destroyed by the empire.

Its frustrating, as said characters coukd easily be made and written with some guidence and effort amd make for a very compelling story. Instead we get trite crap that seems like its trying to be witty social commentary, but just isnt.

[TheLaughingOne]

Spoiling the crap out of this one. So just gonna hide thw whole thing. Cant remember the name, but had phoenix in it or something... and no matter what i describe, remember. This is suppose to be a realistic thriller.

Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide

The book was just a mess. It had cool concepts, but then took the suspension of disbelief and fed it into a wood chipper.

The story starts by telling of an actual mold, its a strange one thst lives in the chernobyl reactor amd not only survives in the radiation, survives and Thrives on it. It gave some good facts and details, then jumped the rails into a horrible pile up by one biotech company trying to modify the mold... so it can survive on solar radiation.

... you know. Photosynthesis. The things plants do. This was suppose to turn it into some super mold for... some reason never made clear. The problem with this is while the sun does put out s ton of radiation, what we get isnt anywhere near whats in the sarcophagus at cherobyl. Not that that matters... cause a week later terrorists attack and blow hp the place releasing the mold into the world, in which it is now able to INSTANTLY take over a persons body if they breath in even a single spore, and turn them into mold zombies like the last of us, so they go out and attack people amd explode to turn them into more zombies.

Also, yet again, this is suppose to be a realistic thriller.

Now into space, a few months before the mold escapes and the workd ends we have a ship floating along. And it runs into a tipler cylinder. This is suppose to be a giant rod in space of insanely massive dimensions, rotating at the speed of light, and all these things are suppose to make time travel happen. So it does. Three officers, a scientist, marine, and airforce pilot get caught in schlock writing snd semt back to earth, in which they see nothing, no lights, no structures, anything. No heat signals, radio, anything. So they think they went back in time. Though... they didnt, they went 200 years in the future.

This revelation has been spoiled cause the entire time we have interludes on the planets surface of the human survivors trying to evade mold zombies and things that only operate at night. They live in caves and have small crops they hsrvest. Very sickly, malnourished, and damn near primative.

This has one big problem. Ok, from space there are human structures you could see from space, especially with super high powered space ship sensors that could map he surface of mars from the moon. And while alot od things have broken down and collapsed, there are still lots of structures thst woukd still be around, old dams, great wall, and even big cities with overgrowth would stand out, if not more. On top of that these manmade structures just absorb heat! Out in the sun all day soaking up rays, they would easily be visible to thermal scans in space, especially at night. So there is no reason why three intelligent people, one suppose to be a major scientist, wouldnt catch these things.

We switch back to the survivors getting attacked by an organized modern military force that is of course the evil military survivors. One escapes, blah blah blah. Back to the ship two of the people land on planet wearing their suits and go exploring. They are attacked by the survivors of the tribe... and here is where it gets real fun. The high tech dpace suits, made to withstand gun fire and space debris is punctured vy low tech hand cobbled bow and arrow, just punches clean through it, but person survived. The marine, a colonel and combat veteran is then taken down by a 15 year old girl, malnourished, wounded by gunshot, exhausted, and half dead. She is able to do this because "the marine doenst know what its like to fight for ones life." A colonel in the marines, a vet of several big wars, highly decorated and served front lines, in excellent shape, about 120lbs on the girl, nearly a foot and a half, and training with combat experience. Just, let that sink in.

So they make peace and then get captured by evil military guys who claim they capture people for reeducation and moving them to mold free areas, but its such a blatent lie they might as well use neon lights to announce it. And of course the space guys buy it.

They go back to main base and learn how the group survived, and learn that the people now have very strict lives, like assigned jobs. You take a test sndnthey assign you a job based on aptitudes. This just sickens the marine colonel and airforce pilot, what kind of barbaric society tests people before assigning them work and tasks they best seem fit for. ... you know, aside from marines and airforce where in both you are required to take tests to find out where you could serve best.

Time goes on and obvious evil guys are obviously evil, alot of their soldiers are chikdren of reclaimed tribes, though some remember "the old ways" which are so much better. Cause living underground in caves in rigid draconian feudel systems where you could be whipped to death because someone thinks you could be stealing is so much better then the regimented controlled life styles where you are well fed, able to look at the sun, and little risk of dying in the next 10 minutes. Yes, the people running the place are horrible and evil, but the actual insane shit these guys dont know yet...

Now... this is where it gets to that special level of stupid and shitty...

We find out the people in control of the base are actually the scientists from 200 years ago. At some point early they tried working one a cure, but the spores got loose and they were infected. Rather then instantly turning to zombies, they stopped the spore reproduction in their blood. But because of this.. they need nee blood, and get this by capturing villages and draining the people of blood and using them as raw material for 3d printers (soylent green is people!! And so are your cloths!!! ... and your desk chair. Those napkins. The light bulb... amd pretty much everything over there..) because of the spores they cant go in the sunlight or the spore multiply to fast, and they have to avoid anti microbal/bacterial/fungal stuff.. like garlic. And silver. On the plus side they are largely immortal!!

... wait. wut? Immortal beings that csnt go in the sun, weak against garlic and silver,  and need new blood constantly...?

M... Mold! Vampires!!! They made mold vampires!! This is even worse then if they sparkeled!! Seriously, this is the end plot bad guys!! There was other crap, destroying the mold with drones, destriying the space ship to protect humanity, all stupid, but not even close to measuring up against mold vampires. So i quit. Erased the book and got a refund. Now if only i could get the time and brain cells back...

Again. Mold vampires..

[TheLaughingOne]

I forgot one of the major things!! Spoilers still!!

mechalechahi-mechahidyho!

So these mold zombies are pretty much immune to physical damage. like literally, you could take a gau 8 and blaze the fucker up and the bullets would just punch through with no damage. Which is stupid. its using the remains of the human body for structural support, even from a normal gun there is going to be a point where the body is no longer able to support itself and move around. The kicker is, the only thing that damages them is fire. These things burn like they as soaked in pure alcohol mixed with gasoline. even a spark from a lighter, not the flame itself, just the spark from the starter, can make them go up if it hits them, and if they are breathing out their spore cloud its almost an air-fuel bomb (this actually makes sense. the only thing.)

... The problem is, evidently humanity forgot how to use all the so very many fire weapons we have...

Tracer and incendiary rounds, air fuel bombs (they work by spreading a fine mist of highly flamable fluids or powders, then igniting it causing a massive fire ball explosion), flame throwers, carpet napalm bombing, Even just plain molotov cocktails. Humanity forgot how to use them completely. They lob nukes at them... which has issues, as the areas nuked are so blanketed by the mold that the initial heat and fire flash of it would light them all up, and that the governments KNOW that these things feed on radiation. which nukes cause of course.

So in less then like, 10 years humanity is almost wiped out. because we forgot how to use fire evidently, and the THOUSANDS of ways we have weaponized it. except by primative screwheads, who shoot flaming arrows well after civilization has fallen.

The book has this stupid ass retarded luddite bend to it. All technology is evil, we need to live in caves and grass huts and carry nothign more complex then a bow and blah blah blah blah.

if i can ever remember the name i'll post it, so interested people can give it a look, but aside from the stupid i've spewed out here i've done my best to forget it..

Thanks for having a read people.

[TheLaughingOne]

So one of the book series i like is Daniel Faust. Urban fantasy taking place in Vegas. The main character is Daniel Faust, a former mob "hired wand" who now does some minor detective worm for his "revenge for hire" work (not petty crap, but say, shoving a castoff maggot from an eldritch abomination into a child rapists head, so all he van do is scream til vocal chords tear, get revenge for families of murdered people who got nome from courts because the killers to rich or influential, or so forth. And he isnt even evil about it, in at least he makes sure the target deserves it instead of just taking money and doing it. He very firmly falls into the chaotic-neutral/anti-hero catagory, despite the authors attempts to proclaim he is a villian. I REALLY like the series, the characters, and the stories. They stumble along at times, but its still great...

Except one. Harmony Black. The "good guy" witch working for the government, who is really an incompetent hypocrite.

And she has her own spin off series. That thus far makes me hate her even more.

Spoilin like 3 week old badly packaged sandwich meat.

Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide

Harmony black comes to vegas following a corperate super star who was suspected of being involved in mysterious deaths back in seattle. In vegas she finds out the womans lackies are all complete psychopaths intent on unleashing a corrupted eden (its literally turned to cancer with noone watching it) after jucing herself with its freak power to make herself a new goddess, first act? Murder most the population to start over.
Harmony comes in late and complicates things by being a bit h and insisting thst the fbi, who she works for, be allowed to arrest the evil crew, despite all being super powerful mages that normal police have no chance against. Further more wanting to try and throw cops at the big bad when she is all goded up "because the law says she should be arrested."

Thankfully faust isnt fuck retarded and wastes the big bad and her child sacrificing, torturing, psychosadistic freak show. Which pisses black off so much she goes out of her way to fuck up his life. She choses to do this over the senator that sold his soul (and several other sacrifices) to demons so he can become president, and then joined up with big bad to sacrifice the world so he doesnt have to give up his soul. Major crime bosses who employ monsters to terrorize and murder normal people, and place the blame on the victims friends and family, and even the mundane freaks making the world worse. She is pissed because faust took down the big bad without getting... well, everybody killed.

And i could understand if it was a "its how we HAVE to do things,
Laws exist for a reason, to keep us from becoming monsters." ... ... ...

BUT!!! We find out she disappears/kills people that do a quarter of the stuff the big bad group do all the time!! Fucking seriously!?!?!?!? She soends a whole book trying to ruin the MCs life cause he didnt let her act out her fantasy of being an imperial guard commander, claiming its cause he broke the law and killed a monster, and she does the exact same thing with less deserving targets!!@ AND we are suppose to buy she really is the "good guy"

FUCK OFF!!!

[TheLaughingOne]

Ggggggggoooooooooooodddddd damn it. Spoilers.

Yet again another book that seems ok, the plot starts by following ecentric billionare excavating old wwii bomber from under ice in green land. Underneath. Exactly underneath, well, 500 feet underneath, they find an old viking boat they dig down to, perfect condition, perfectly preserved bodies from well over 1000 years ago.

It seemed to have a cool supernatural horror/mystery bent to it... but no. Its nazis. Nazis everywhere. Under command of some 120 year old nazi prince from norway or germany or denmark who is just so influential that he has the presidents chief of security, homeland security, and all of americas special forces working for him.

It...

I...

Fucking...

Sonuva...

Just god fucking damn it. God damn it. God damn the writer, the editor, the publisher, and every freaking asshole who gave this rancid loaf of shit a good review.

[TheLaughingOne]

And here we are again..

Listening to audiobook that starts well. "Into the drowning deeps"

Book follows a crew of scientists thst head out on a ship to prove mermaids exist and killed the entire crew of the last ship that went out to do the same.

Most the stuff is essentially jurassic park level crap, instead of hiring real security personal, they hire models who claim they know so they look good on camera and will be completely in effective.

Their security lockdown system shielding nevef works, and only will to trap the crew on the ship when its swarmed by mermaids.

And they know these are real, know they are dangerous as they have video of them attacking the last ship.

Where it gets really bad is when they send a submersible down. Now, this submersible is suppose to be tough enough to go to the bottom of the marianis trench with no problems, the hull some super special composite that csn take the pressure and as its sphereical will be stronger for it.

You know this is bullshit as its being piloted by the young redheaded very attractived deaf girl, who jist happens to be a twin. Gotta try and push that pity in somehow. So she goes down and of course has everything to prove continues going after getting frantic warnings from the crew above after spotting the mermaid, which looks like a cross of an orangutang and a moray eel, but has the build and musculature of a heroine chic model, that she has seen footage of from the last ships attack, and them swarming people and killing them horribly.

They attack and she tries to escape. And so they punch through this super special hull like its tissue. Nevermind its suppose to be so strong anti tank rounds couldnt do much more then dent it, and because of the pressure and blahblah blah, be even stronger.

But no, skinny little thing with fingers thinner then the a chickens wing bones csm just punch through thst armor plating.

And nevermind that a creature from that deep can come to the surface and not explode from the pressure change...