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Letters instead of Candy for Halloween.

Started by Silver, October 30, 2013, 01:01:48 PM

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Silver

I came across this article, which explained a woman's choice to hand out letters to some children instead of giving them candy on Halloween.

I want to know everyone else's thoughts. A few questions that I have are;

Does she have a right to do such a thing?

Is it her places to judge children who are not her own?

If it takes a village to raise a child then why hasn't she or other spoken up about the problem before bringing it up during a holiday or was that the point; to make a splash and get people talking.

The Letter
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Avis habilis

Well, that's incredibly crass. "Hey, you're kid's too fat for candy. Here's an uninformed cheap shot I printed off in bulk & sent home in their treat basket because I'm too cowardly to say this to a grownup's face."

Valthazar

#2
Based on the law as it stands today, of course she has the right to do it, but that doesn't mean we have to agree with her.  Getting candy is not a legal right or anything, so it wouldn't fall under any sort of discrimination law. 

It's like giving my neighbor a letter that says, "I know I've been blowing the leaves on your driveway for the past few weeks, like I have for all the neighbors.... but if you want me to keep doing it, you should start making your lawn presentable and clean cut."   He can feel insulted all he wants that I am judging his lawn, but at the end of the day, there's no obligation for me to blow his leaves in the first place, since it's just a kind gesture I am doing for the community.

Vekseid

When I was growing up families who wanted to encourage this sort of message instead handed out apples and other healthier snacks.

Oranges were rather popular.

Formless

And the poor kids watches everyone else enjoying candy while he got mocked. Not to mention how all the other kids will tease them about it.

It was better if she declined her interest in giving the candy than play judge.

Valthazar

#5
It's unfortunate for the kid, I agree, and I'm not sure what has gotten into that woman's head. 

But rather than try to crusade against every instance of unfairness in the world, which is impossible, this is a great moment where parents can teach their kids - "Look, let me tell you something about life that affects all of us - no matter how good a person is, there's always going to some people who choose to be mean against you for one reason or another.  Just be yourself, treat them with kindness even if they don't treat you the same, and you'll always find people who appreciate you for who you are."

I think that's the optimal response to this situation, rather than a movement against this woman's free choice (even if we find it ridiculous).

Silver

Quote from: Vekseid on October 30, 2013, 01:22:48 PM
When I was growing up families who wanted to encourage this sort of message instead handed out apples and other healthier snacks.

Oranges were rather popular.

See that would be more tasteful than handing out letters I believe. The letter really does cross a line, one which shouldn't be any of her business.

Why do holidays seem to bring out the very worst in people or just make them not think before acting.
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Aiden


BAMF

And to think that this is from my state. Ugh.
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Oniya

The problem I see is that this person is singling out individual children.  If she is concerned about childhood obesity, then either don't hand out treats (turn your lights out and don't answer the doorbell), or hand out non-sugary treats (get a bulk pack of spider rings or stickers, for example) to everyone.
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Cyrano Johnson

#10
Quote from: ValthazarElite on October 30, 2013, 01:33:13 PMI think that's the optimal response to this situation, rather than a movement against this woman's free choice (even if we find it ridiculous).

I, on the other hand, think she needs to be shipped to a re-education camp in the Yukon where she's locked in a small, cold cabin with nothing but bread and water and has Tori Amos records played at her day in and day out until she promises never, ever to do this again.

Or egging could work, too. That's a happy medium.
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Shjade

People, please, be reasonable. The woman already lives in Fargo; how much more can she really be punished?
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Toral Stimins

Being European, and of an age when Halloween was still All Saints and All Souls (at least in the Netherlands), it's hard to react to some of the post.

Legally she might have a right to hand out those things, but what I grasp from Halloween (or should I say Hallowe'en), the whole trick or treat bit, this is just morally wrong.

Cyrano Johnson

Quote from: Shjade on October 30, 2013, 05:25:00 PM
People, please, be reasonable. The woman already lives in Fargo; how much more can she really be punished?

It does occur to me that the Yukon re-education camp might be a bit redundant...  :P
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Oniya

Quote from: Cyrano Johnson on October 30, 2013, 05:57:36 PM
It does occur to me that the Yukon re-education camp might be a bit redundant...  :P

Yukon's where they go in the summer, donchaknow.[/accent]
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Cyrano Johnson

Quote from: Oniya on October 30, 2013, 05:59:25 PM
Yukon's where they go in the summer, donchaknow.[/accent]

Well, yeah. You got that right.
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Sasquatch421

I just want to see a picture of what her house looks like the day after...

Beguile's Mistress

Quote from: Aiden on October 30, 2013, 01:51:03 PM
That house is getting soooo egged!  >:)

And TP'd.

And maybe fork her lawn, too.

Shadowclaw

I think she's right to be concerned but approaching it in a way that's going to just piss everyone off in her community and burn all her bridges at once. After this, if she ever does get the right idea and try to get involved with a positive way to fight child obesity in her local community, they're going to remember her and what she did... and that won't end well. She's only hurting her self and her reputation. Incredibly stupid and short sighted in my opinion. If she does this, I suggest she move as far away as she can.

Anjelita

Certainly not the brightest approach. Granted, telling anyone, "hey I think your kids fat, it's your fault," can't really go over that we'll, regardless of how much tact you employ and good-natured intent you may claim you're acting with. It's one thing to be concerned, it's another thing to attempt to raise someone else's children, or reprimand parenting when you have no insight into that person's life. And to do so so publicly in a way that could be considered negligent considering the status quo among youth... I don't think she was trying to be helpful. I think she was trying to be hurtful, shocking, daring. And perhaps thought that'd be the best way to express her views. Illegal, no. Unethical, yes. Cruel, definitely.
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Blythe

#20
The letter to the parents just seems like a really passive-aggressive thing to do.  Also, a lot of kids can bloody read. It's like an indirect way to insult kids while addressing the parents, since she is presumably handing the notes to the kids to put with their already-acquired  trick or treat candy. :o

BAMF

Quote from: Shjade on October 30, 2013, 05:25:00 PM
People, please, be reasonable. The woman already lives in Fargo; how much more can she really be punished?
Quote from: Oniya on October 30, 2013, 05:59:25 PM
Yukon's where they go in the summer, donchaknow.[/accent]

Bleh. I know it's meant in fun, but really, the hating on my state is just insane. Sorry, I'll just hop outta here and not make more of a fuss. Just a bit bummed that this story had to have a jibe about the location. I mean, yeah, we're a bass-ackwards state in many ways, but...bleh. Sour taste left in my mouth now. Sorry, guys.
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Shjade

Fargo's an entire state now? When did that happen? O.o
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alextaylor

Quote from: Vekseid on October 30, 2013, 01:22:48 PM
When I was growing up families who wanted to encourage this sort of message instead handed out apples and other healthier snacks.

Oranges were rather popular.

A lot of that stuff is loaded with fructose. Which is almost as bad as candy. Sure it has vitamins and stuff, but doesn't really help.

IMO, a kid should be allowed to enjoy themselves, especially on certain holidays. I can't take much sugar at my age before putting on weight. Kids can take tons of it and it'd wash back out. For most of them it's safe.

I don't like how Halloween promotes all this sugar eating. But just let them enjoy it. A better way would be to dress up as a scary drill sergeant and threatening to steal their candy because it's bad for them. At least play along with the theme.


QuoteDoes she have a right to do such a thing?

Is it her places to judge children who are not her own?

If it takes a village to raise a child then why hasn't she or other spoken up about the problem before bringing it up during a holiday or was that the point; to make a splash and get people talking.

She has every right to write letters and judge. She might even consider it a social responsibility. This is also the perfect time for an awareness campaign in that form.

However, the question you didn't ask was is it effective? I'd say it's counterproductive. Hard discipline doesn't work. It just makes people oppose it. Because of the shock people feel over this, it's hard to make people sympathize with that line of thinking. Feminazis hurt equality causes. PETA hurts animal rights causes.
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Anjasa

I do believe that we should be teaching children good values about food and healthy eating, but this woman has absolutely no place to do something so mean and passive aggressive. I bet a lot of children are really going to hate themselves after receiving a letter like that (if I was a kid, I would have read it immediately, and if I was over the age of 4 or 5 I'd have a clear grasp of what she was saying).

It's just incredibly mean. There are much better ways to handle... any of her concerns.