Tails of Monkey - Hey Adventure is still waiting

Started by Catherine, June 16, 2020, 08:25:28 AM

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Catherine

"You got wings, is there a way we can get them to work, you know?" I ask as I do a little wing flapping motion with my hands. On the ground I can see the shadow being cast and it looks like a bird, well sort of. One with really strange looking wings and I whistle like a bird to see if that helps. It does a little so I try tweeting and I catch the look on Dani's face and stop, "What?"

Dani gave me the slow up down eye movement thing followed by the umm.... "What are you doing?"

With the hands still in the air, I gave her a little laugh. "Imitating a bird," motioning with my head towards the shadow, "See a bird. Tweet Tweet."

With a turn of her head glance, I watched as Dani looked at the bird shadow and then back at me, "I guess you can call that a bird but.....well.... It sort of more moose like."

"What?" I ask looking down at the shadow, now that Dani mentioned it, it does look like s moose. I open and close my hands just to see, yeah still a moose. No way it can be mistaken for a bird other than a really ugly one now. Not even tweeting helps and moose, meese, moosie or things with big antlers that aren't deer don't tweet. "Ahwogah," I say and I get another look, "My best Moose impression."

I stand there for a moment looking at my moose shadow and look at it even harder, is it chewing on something? It looks like it is.... But where did it get something? Maybe it wandered off or something while Dani and I were talking. That isn't right, wouldn't I known if it did that? I look down at my hands, just to make sure. No, nothing that I can see but the shadow is clearly chewing on something. Maybe the shadow found something to chew on, shadow grass.

"Bye shadow moose," I say, fluttering my hands as I separate them and a shadowy ahwogah could be heard. If you listen others can be heard answering, calling back to the shadow moose.

"Okay, is there a way to get the wings to flap?"

Dani thought for a moment, "There might be." She turned her head a little to look at them before turning to face me.

"Because an angel without wings is just a person with a tiny hula hoop hovering over their head." Dani just gave me the look again and mouthed "What?" Which I responded with a point to her halo.

"Oh...."

I started to ask if she maybe needed to learn how to fly again but stopped, remembering how it was with William. I give Dani a quick glance, she definitely looked heavier than William which at the moment I thought that, she shot me a dirty look, so I doubt I could carry her above my head for too long. Maybe a step or two  before dropping  her on her face, which I doubt she wants to happen. Could take her to the top of one of buildings and hold her as she leans over the edge, but a scene from a movie of some large boat starts to play in my head and I felt a cold chill like something big icy just ran into me. That might be a little dangerous to, I might see a butterfly or something and whoops.  There would be a scream and thump followed by a "Look at this butterfly. Hey when did you get down there?"

Maybe..... I start to clap, I heard that is how it works wth fairies, "Feel anything?" Dani just shakes her head. "It was worth a shot."

Hmmmmm....... "Any ideas at all?"

Dani again just shrugged.

DING!

That wasn't a dinger bell, although give me a moment. Let me look around, no I don't see any dingers. Anyways the ding was for an idea. I remember seeimg this movie once, I guess it was before colors were invented. It was about some guy running around in the snow, yelling 'Mary' over and over. There was popcorn. But at the end or not towards the beginning he said something about bells and Angels. If he was right then problem solved.

The only problem was he wasn't to clear on what needs to happen or anything. He just said when an angel gets its wings a bell rings. Now is it proportionate? A small angel gets a small bell? Dani isn't too small. Wait why does it feel like something is burning the back of my neck?

I turn and see Dani glaring at me again, her eyes glowing like two red embers. Nervously I laugh and if I had a collar I would stretch it out, "Not that big of a one, okay?" I hope.....

Dani squinted, her eyes glowing even brighter as she glared at me. "You look like a small or an extra small at most." Frantically I look around, even trying to change the subject because I think the wall behind me now has to small holes in it that wasn't there before.

"Um, okay.... Where can we find a Belllllllllaaaa Rose," whew, I mentally wipe my forehead, thankfully I caught that one.

Desperate I grab Dani's hand, "Let's go that way, it looks like it is a prime location for Bellllaaanore Roosevelt." Whew.....


((Angels come in different sizes like coffees and oddly named the same as coffee too. *head scratch* Okay now it has bme wondering what would happen if I poured dairy creamer on a angel what would they do? Especially after I hand them one of those little plastic stir sticks...))

Catherine

We head down the street looking for something bell like. Something that could be rung so the bell to wing theory of angels can be tested. Other than the obvious bell tower, we haven't seen anything yet. Everyone knows there is a prerequisite for ringing bells in bell towers, a hump and I don't have one. It has to do with something about the hump allowing proper aerodynamic characteristics to a person to allow them to ring the bell properly so it sounds right. So yeah no hump the bell won't sound as good. That and I think It is against the law, if I remember correctly it is...

*clear throat as I flip through an imaginary law book. Okay here it is, Hump bell law of eighteen hundred and another. All ringers of large bells must have a hump on their back. The hump shall not exceed two hundred percent of their total body weight. If a hump  doesn't exist a person may only stare at the rope or mechanism of ringing.*

See a law. Not one I just made up because the bell tower looks dusty, possibly haunted and a haven of bats. There is probably tons of bats up there and ick. Little hands in hair and ick. Little bat teeth and that looks like it is prime territory for vampire bats. Especially with a full moon sitting behind it. Definitely a vampire bat hang out, I tell myself as I slowly nod. "We will skip that," I say and I can see Dani shiver and nod.

We continue, passing one shop after another. Ones for shirts. Ones for big foam fingers. Ones for things that fall well under the what the? Then we find it, siting there at an intersection, 'Just Bells - You can ring our ding-a-ling'.

"This looks promising," nodding as I head towards the store, Dani sticking right behind me as we approach the store.  Even from the windows the bells rung out, well not really ringing since we would have heard that and finding the bells would have been a while lot easier. Going from 'Where do you think we can find some bells?' to 'What? What did you say? I can't hear you over all of the bells!'

There was all kind of bells. Bells that looked like they dinged. Bells that looked like they donged. Even ones that might have bonged. There was little ones and big ones with every type of one in between. Fat ones and thin ones with ones shaped likes pears. I never imagined there was so many different types of bells in the world, when I thought bell I imagined bell. You know one shaped like this and sort of like this with one of those thingies that made it ding or dong or bong.

"I think we hit pay dirt," I said quickly looking at Dani whose eyes were glued to the bells. "I think you will be winged soon," nodding. I grabbed Dani by the hand and pulled her to the door, now if it was locked that would be so something. So close to our goal only to be stopped by a door! Pulling on the door knob yelling "Let us in!" and finally figuring out the door is one that you have to push instead.

The door swings open and Dani and myself are surrounded by bells. A bellaphobes worse nightmare. Surrounded and thinking that any second they will jump out at you, taking your life with just a dong. Is that one going to dong, you ask yourself. Sweat slowly dripping down your back as a cold chill runs up it. They know what you are thinking, boo......

That is silly, scared of a bell. What is it going to do, dong you? I snicker to myself.

BONG!

I freeze and quickly look around. Did you hear that? It sounded like a bell, one of them must. Oh my monkey, behind you! It has teeth! Run run before..... Sorry I had to do that, there is no man eating bell other than that one over there though.

With finger tapping lips, I turn to take in the bell landscape. I thought this would be easy, find a bell and pick it up and an angel get its wings. This might take longer though, especially  if I have to pick up the really big ones. Hmm... "I think I have an idea, you head that way" I tell Dani pointing that way, "I will go this way. We each get some bells and bring them back here. "

"Got it?"

Dani nodded and we were off.


((Thank god it is a Bell and not like a vuvuzela. I can get my wings if I make an annoying sound.))

Catherine

"Bells, bells and bells" I say to myself as I wander through the bells. I pick a small one at first and put it back down after seeing another small one. The ding on the second was a little better than the first. It dinged while the first one just dinged. Here let me show you. Okay here is the first DING and here is the second DING. Hear the difference? Yeah I know the second one is better, so going with that one.

I look over my shoulder towards Dani, who already has found several bells. Ones of various sizes, from this to this and even this. I take a mental Polaroid of what she has.

*press button, pull out and wave photo in the air so it develops as a free range Polaroid. Okay everything looks good, even got the weird Polaroid effect in a corner.*

"Okay she has this and this and oh wow she found one that looks like that," I tell myself as I examine the imaginary Polaroid. Then I am off, this slender bell here looks good. DING! Yes all good and it is definitely different than slender man, creepy. I pause and shiver at the thought of maybe running into him here.

"Oh hey there slender man, nice no face and everything," not really but being nice. Is he staring or not staring at me. How does he breathe? How does he burp? You know important things.

"What do you have in your hand, oh a slender bell. What you want me to take it? Thank you ."

"I would hug you but I have a rule about hugging people with suits and no facial features. Sorry but thank you."

"Do you hear that, it sounds like a thousand gerbils screaming. Hey where did you go?"

See creepy, but I got a bell. DING. See?

Two bells down and a couple more to go. Okay this one looks near, a little scene of people screaming on a rollercoaster wrapped around it with the message 'Came for the coasters and urped!' DING! It sounds good to, a little deeper but good.

Okay... I circle around a table and see a glass one sitting there. Ah the whole Cinderella glass slipper thing but in bell form. It must be really delicate, but it looks magical as the light shimmers through out. Have to be really careful with it. DING! Okay that is a keeper. Carefully I put the bell on my head and continue to search.

A table off to the side piques my interest and one bell in particular. It is large and made of wood. Intricately carved to look like a honey bear. I pick it up and I am surprised on how light it is. No way will it sound like the.... DING! Okay it does... "You are a keeper," I told the bell as I rubbed its honey bear belly. Okay one more and that should be good. I look around trying to find that perfect one and feel something nudging my shoulder moments before a little tiny bell appears next to my face.

"Do you think that is a good one?" I ask my tail and it bobs up and down, making the bell ding, "I take that as a yes." Happily I take the bells over to where Dani has hers. "Okay," I say as I start to put mine down. "This will get tricky. You sit over there," I say motioning with my head to over there. Dani nods as I gently start to lay the bells out in order, smallest to largest.

Ready I take a deep breath no run a test. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. Okay the one sounds a little off, let me try something. Quickly I do sone rearranging and test again. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. That is much better.

"Are you ready?" I ask Dani who is standing over there and she nods. "Okay," I crack my fingers and instantly regret it. Ow...... Blowing on my fingers as I shake them in the air, "Give me a moment...." Dani just nods in agreement, unless she is following my hands. The only way I can tell is to jerk my hands straight down and see if she slams her head into the ground. Which I wouldn't do, I nervously laugh as Dani glares at me.

"Let's try this again," I say as I reach for the bells and let loose. Dinging like there is no tomorrow. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. Wow. Arms are getting tired but must not give out... DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. I don't know any bell dingers but I think I am dinging the bell. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. Wow this is a workout. Glisten and all. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. Why is Dani putting her hands to her ears? DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. Hey I think it is working. Dani is throwing her head back and if I wasn't dinging, I might hear her screaming. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. Where is she going? Hey I am not  done yet. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. Oh great I am not even done with the first pass and she flew off. Can't just end it though, a dinger never stops in mid song. Very unprofessional if it is done, let me wrap it up. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING. DING.

Gently I lay the bells down and take a breath. Thank you, thank you. Please no roses because they gave thorns and hurt.

I blow some imaginary kisses to the imaginary crowd and pick up an imaginary rose even though I said not to throw them. Then bow.


((Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Dong. Ding. Ding. Okay I think that one was off.))

Catherine

I look up to the sky as I leave the shop, a beam of light coming down as Dani flies upwards with her hands to her ears. I wasn't that bad, I tell myself I dinged the bells. I stop for a moment and throw the sign of the bell up with one hand as I flipped open the lighter with my other. The flame dancing around after I light it.

The imaginary crowds yell for an encore , but every musician knows you should leave the crowd wanting more. I did that all of the time when I had impromptu piano recitals on my toy piano for mom and dad when I was younger.,

It was a pretty mean 'Mary had a little lamb', if you want to know. I gave it attitude and life wth the pings coming from the piano. Dad would start to ask to hear it again but  mom would  elbow him and shake her head. Saying that I am musician and it would be best for me to stop and leave them wanting, that all of the big names did it. She even mentioned some names of people I didn't know but sounded musiciany. If whoever did it, it sounded right that I should to. So I would always stop, take a step to the side and curtsy before leaving the room, like a real musician. If I had a microphone I would have stepped back into the room and dropped it but..... It was a house rule, law and whatever else voted three to one by the family (I was the one) that I wasn't allowed near a microphone, not even a megaphone ever. There was this one little incident with a karaoke microphone laying about, a little girl and mom's best glassware. Not  sure why I got the blame for it, yes it was me singing. But someone else left the microphone out, it called to me. I even warmed up with a la, la and la.

Ding on and throw the sign of the bell.  It takes some practice to do the sign of the bell with your hand, it takes some finger origami. You take one finger and bend if this way, then another finger and bend it that way. Now then take the next finger and curl it in just ending while you take pinky and point it straight down. If you get it right you will know, especially if a hunchback runs up and ask if it can ring your bell.

I look from side to side. I have been that way so no need to see that again so I should go this way.. See you later that way, I tell myself as I head this way.


((You probably expected for me to see a red caped alien in the sky. Ha I saw pigeons with capes?))

Catherine

I continue down the road, passing several rides and tons of shops. All equally rusty and dusty. Not sure what Mouse was thinking, I am pretty sure that the booger goblin was the one watching us. So I don't think we have anything to.... Wait a moment is that Mouse, I ask myself when I see something up ahead that looks furry and mouse-like.

"Mouse," I shout out, "Mouse, I think I took care of what was watching us. It was a booger goblin." Waving towards the mouse like shape up ahead leaning against a post, getting no response though. Maybe it feel asleep while on its feet waiting for me? I pick up a peddle and toss it, hitting Mouse in the side of the head by accident. I whence expecting sword drawn and cursing. But what I get was Mouse's head popping off and hitting the ground with a THUMP. Immediately my eyes shot open,   I didn't mean... I tossed lightly.... Why wasn't I warned?

Quickly I run up to Mouse, well the body, stumbling over the weird rug like thing that strangely looked like a net. Even with the ropes going up and meeting at one point. Whoever did the decorating for this really went all out, the ropes looked rope, the net looked net and everything. They even took the time to do a pulley and rope going I to the darkness off to the side. Extra care was done with this, very impressive.

"Mouse," I said dropping to my knees and gently picking up the fallen head. Looking into the poorly stitched on bead eyes. "I didn't mean to knock your head off," I said sniffing, "I just wanted to get your attention. How was I suppose to know that your head was sewed on poorly. It even looks like your ears are about to fall off." I pulled on something small and white that was attached to the back of Mouse's head and started to read it. "I didn't know you were made in Taiwan."

I felt something tapping on my shoulder and was about to ask what, but suddenly something sharp hit me in the butt. I looked back as I fell forward, adorably though and could see a large. No not large, huge! Like almost as big as my body huge, dart sticking out of my butt. I could feel the cold claiming me line it had done every time I went to the dentist. Quickly I ran my tongue over my teeth as I gently hit the ground, arms folded  just right to prop my head up, counting them just in case some crazed dentist just tagged me.

Slowly my thumb slipped into my mouth.... Wait no no I didn't say that. No thumb in mouth and no snuggling with my teddy bear either as I fell asleep.  Huh Mr. Fuzzy Lumpkins?



((Turn away I am taking a nap))

Catherine

I wake up with that cotton ball feeling in my mouth, like some rabbit stuck its tail in my mouth as I slept. "Yasa fasa rasa?" I manage to ask as I tried to  decotton ball my mouth.   "Yasa fasa rasa?" Oh yeah I forgot, you might not know cottonballesse, so you might not know what I am trying to say. The first "Yasa fasa rasa?" meant 'What happened?' and the second was 'Where am I?'

Slowly I turn my head side to side, sticking my tongue out over and over to try and push out the cotton balls from inside of my mouth as I looked around. Wherever I was at it didn't look like the amusement park anymore. Definitely not with the Greek columns on.... I flip my head to the other side, yeah Greek columns on either side. I could see my tail laying there, slowly swaying left to right as it tried to wake up, "Are you okay girl?"

How did we get here, I ask myself. Oh yeah dart to the butt. That makes sense now, well not really, but that is where you are suppose to shoot darts at when trying to take something down. Anywhere else and it wouldn't be good enough or just hit bone. Mine is properly padded though, it was at least unless I am having an allergic reaction to the dart and one of my cheeks has swelled up. That wouldn't be good, I would have to carry a book or books to sit under one cheek so I would be balanced when I sat down. That isn't good. It didn't feel like I am butt unbalanced, which is good since I didn't want to see the world at an angle every time I sat down.

I lay there for a moment, tongue poking out every so often. The cotton balls refusing to get out of my mouth. Please, I mumble, I don't want to talk like I have something in my mouth from now on.

"Cansh Isa had abba banaba milshapsa?"

"What?"

"Cansh Isa had abba banaba milshapsa?" I ask a little frustrated.

"What do you want?"

"Cansh Isa had abba banaba milshapsa?" I ask more frustrated, pointing at the banana ice cream.

"Miss if you cannot pronounce, we cannot sell you whatever you want to buy. Didn't you see the sign? No shoes. No shirt. No pronunciation. No service."

A tear rolls down my cheek as I place a hand against the safety glass anti sneeze guard that is just really there to keep the drool off thingie, "Banaba milshapsa."

See I would be denied banana gold that and I would sound like that space rabbit thing from that one movie. I will tell you this, the first time someone pulled back a lever' flipped a switch or pushed a button and the stars started to do that weird thing, I would be screaming. What is a parsec anyways? Is it a distance or a time? I asked my brother and he says it just is. Just is what? It sounds like it is something you would catch in a insect net and might sting.

"Hey I caught a parsec. Hey ow ow ow stop stinging! There are some flowers over there. They look yummy, ow ow ow stop......"

I try to lift a hand to push myself up but find it tied down. This isn't good. I try the other one and it is tied down to. This is really not good! How will I be able to get up? I try again to no success, banging my head against the stone altar that I am strapped to. Strapped to what? Altar? Who said altar? I start to struggle getting me nowhere. No good. Not good. Not good. I know what happens when people find themselves strapped to altars and it isn't pleasant. Maybe this one is for a God of milkshakes, I look from side to side looking for any identifying marks. Nothing, poo! Those are the bad type of altars, just above ones with buckets of blood or ones with burning black candies which are a fire hazard.

Maybe if I.... I try to pull one of my hands closer, trying to naw at the ropes that bind. No good, just too far. Why does this keep happening to me? Not the whole dart thing, although I am hoping there is no more of that. Once was more than enough. Marking that off my never was on a bucket list bucket list.

Dart to butt, check. I felt an ow, thought it could have been a very angry bee. It wasn't. Passed out and woke up on altar. Need to speak to the dentist association, think some went rogue.

With just the thought of a dentist hanging around darting people so he can run a dental exam in peace, I run my tongue over my teeth counting. Letting out my breath when I was done. Thank monkey, got them all.

Now just need to... I freeze when I see movement coming from the darkness. I would say lone figure but I catch glimpses of more to either side. Quickly I lay back down and play possum. Maybe I will be lucky and these are chiropractors, fingers crossed.


((Fingers crossed this is going to be a chiropractor. I have something right here that is...POP! Oh my banana I think I needed that!))

Catherine

Please be a group of underground chiropractors, ridiculed by others so they have taken to the shadows to help correct the backs of those in need of adjusting, I keep telling myself over and over. I have a spot right here in the small of my back, if you could look at it....

I quickly look around, they definitely have the hands like chiropractors. Let me show you, well shoot I forgot I am strapped down, maybe later. I lay there as the chiropractors.

*mental fingers crossed*

Come closer, is my back that bad that I need six doctors. Did they take x-rays while I was out? That makes sense really, knock a person out and X-ray them while they are asleep. That way you can position them however you like. I am hoping I don't see my skeleton in any weird poses, once they get on the internet, people will be pointing and giggling.

"Did you see the one where her skeleton was whisper whisper whisper."

Some doctors don't care about Doctor/patient privilege. Yes you might have darted me with a dart that is way huge, but they doesn't give you privilege to show photos of my skeleton to just anyone. It is shy.

I lay there waiting for one of them to flip me over and the warm towel that will follow. Actually get a little excited, ever since the booger goblin I had a crink in my neck and I adjust myself on the altar excitably. Arms in the right place, properly pulled apart due to being tied down. Check! Legs the same way. Check! It must be an extreme form of therapeutic massage. So I might hear our of the following;

"For your safety we have tied you down. So when we start making adjustments, you are in the correct position so something doesn't get adjusted the wrong way. Don't need a rib being popped out the wrong way or something."

Or

"For our safety, we have strapped you down so if you start flailing about we don't get hurt. It doesn't happen too often but it happens. We just don't want one of us getting hurt. You understand right? Let me adjust the bindings a little, just need to tighten them up so you don't accidentally slip out..."

I try to hide the smile and even lift a shoulder, to be helpful, when one steps up next to me. Slowly I open an eye just a little, just to interested at this point. What will the chiropractor do first? Crack his fingers? Do that who keep head side to side thing, "Let's do this!"' Maybe he will practice safe chiropractoring and put his hands up for a nurse to slip gloves onto with a SNAP?

Remember kids, listen to those videos and announcements. Practice safe chiropractoring. You might think it is cool and others might try to pressure you into not practicing safe chiropractoring but don't. It can lead to bad things, look at Quasimodo. He wanted to be cool and look at him. When in doubt say, 'I don't want a hump back. That is good for whales but not for me.'

The chiropractor digs around in his robe with a hand, must be looking for oils or something. Sure sign of a good one if it includes oil, not motor oil though since that is just plain messy. He keeps digging around and I am tempted to tell  him I like lavender, soothing and relaxing but he finds what he is looking for..... Oh vanilla would be nice too. With a swish, the chiropractor's hand came out, not with oil but with something more pointy than oil. More stabby than oil. More ow than oil, unless it is hot oil I have never tried it. More knify than oil, what with the handle and blade.

I just eep and freeze.


((Long blade’s well any blades and adjusting do not mix. Eep!!!!))

Catherine

Slowly the chiropractor lifts the knife above his head in a very non-chiropractor way and I.... I well.... I am tied down, what do you expect? All I can do is struggle and struggle even more, oh and frantically struggle. You can tell how desperate a person is by the level of struggling.  A gentle struggle and it is more, hey I am tied down that is cool. Then there is struggling even more, that is more hey I am tied down and there is something jabbing me in the back. To the frantic, hey I am tied down get me out get me out I have a fear of bindings... I was jumped by one when I was a kid and it stole my milk money!

I laugh hysterically, pulling frantically on my bindings. Begging and crying, "Let me out....." The altar getting wet in moments as tears run off my cheeks on to the altar. Everyone knows if an altar gets too wet it gets all raisiny and that isn't good.

No I don't do that, I laughed hysterically once and milk shot out my nose. I don't think they want milk on the altar and I haven't drank any in a while. Since I am not a camel, I don't store milk in a hump. I am not a cow so I don't make milk and don't try to milk my nose to find out. That would hurt!

"Hey there, about that," I try pointing with one hand at the knife. "I have enough holes as is so my vote is a no on making more." The chiropractor freezes for a moment, gives me a look and then the knife and back at me. I look around, "Who is with me? save a hole for something that wants to be donut." I see one over there starting to lift its hands hesitantly before another notices and motions for him to stop.

I look back to the main chiropractor who is lifting the knife up again. "Hey how about, Rock Paper Scissors?" I ball up my fist hoping that the chiropractor would take the hint. I also throw in a smile, smiles always help. You probably need some examples though, let me think. One, "Can I have a refill please?" and smile. Refill comes and thank you. Two, "Wow this puppy just piddled and yeah... How did he get it on the ceiling? Can you clean it?" and smile. Clean room and thank you, oh and a puppy lick. Oh and the final example.  "There is a meteor heading towards the planet, which would really put a hamper on things. Could some guys jump in a space shuttle and blow it up. Even though doing that would increase the chance of earth getting hit by a piece." and smile. One shuttle launch later followed by boom and nobody has to change their plans. See three perfectly good examples. All believable and stuff, oh and smile.

I shake my fist, "I am all warmed up. Best two out of three." Oh and smile. "Come on who can say no to the RPS," I throw up, well down since my hands are bound, the power signs of rock, paper and scissors."Everyone does, the world leaders use it to make the big decisions,

The chiropractor thinks for a moment, maybe he is a member of a RPS group. Needing as many battles as possible before an upcoming competition. Oh maybe they have trading cards? I should ask.

"Hey do you have a trading card? You know with your latest stats and everything or Is it more like one of those cartoon monster collectable games? I sort of pick you one thumb tony. I play 'hang nail' on your green back noob."  Oh and smile.


((Oh have you seen the invisible metallic hang nail card? I am sort of looking for it to finish my collection. Oh a ultra rare purple green back noob?))

Catherine

The light glints off the knife as the chiropractor just stands there thinking. I think I broke him with the last one. His mind is in a constant state of uh. Does he need rebooting or something? "Hello..." I say, waving one of my hands as best as I could, "Something wrong? I thought you were going to work on my back with that thing that looks like a knife but I hope it isn't."

The chiropractor keeps just staring and well... It is starting to get creepy. The hairs on the back of my neck are starting to stand up and that isn't good. "Hey could someone else maybe step up and take over. I think your friend has gone all  statue." Quickly I look up to the sky. Hopefully he isn't like that for too long or you might want to consider an owl statue to scare off pigeons."

I wiggle a little, "Could someone maybe undo the bindings. I know this is extreme massage but I think I have a rock in my back." Looking around I don't see any movement, "Um guys, hello?"

Okay it went from slightly creepy to creepy with a side of creepy. Why isn't anyone moving, well other than me. Are these guys sharing one mind? So if something happens to one it happens to all. If it that was true they all would be frozen with their hand up. What else? Waiting for the right moment to strike? Not going anywhere so if they were waiting for me to fall asleep, it will take a while and I was asleep earlier. So I doubt that. Maybe they don't want to show up the others, so they are afraid to move. Maybe.... Just plan lazy, they stick out something and hope something falls against it. That is just okay, lazy.

Then what? I see some movement off to the side, "Hello?"


((Mystery movement is never good. It can lead to axe or knife massages and yeah no.))

Catherine

Nothing like waking up, tied to an altar surrounded by chiropractors who aren't moving and you have a rock poking you in the back. Oh and you can hear something moving. Right over there, no right over there.

"Hello," I call out again, "I can hear you moving. You don't have to worry, I won't bite and I hope you don't either." I look around then I hear movement over there followed by over there and then there. Whatever it is, it is circling me. I perk up my ears and listen for any audible clues. There are only couple things that circle people, unless it is a low flying eagle, some of those can be marked off the list. If I don't hear anything it means it could be a wolf or whatever it is, stopped moving. But I am hearing something? I sounds like something is being dragged across the ground.

It can't be a wolf unless it got lazy, that means it can only be a shark! But how? Those live in water and this is on land. My eyes shoot open as I finally figure out what is out there, a land shark! I have seen them in the movies and everything, but those are just movies and usually with bad acting in them. They usually swam in the ground too, which I still can't figure out since I would think they would keep slamming into big rocks and things. This one sounded like it was dragging itself, probably using its front flippers. Silently going grrr as it pulled itself along.

I can feel it's beady little eyes now in fact. Slowly, like at a crawl, circling and staring at me. Telling itself that any moment now it would slow lunge at its next prey and eat well.   I am not sure what it means by that, eat well phpht. Not like I would just lay here and... Oh yeah. Sort of forgot the whole being strapped down thing. Well poo.

"Hey if there is a shark circling me, could you at least do some theme music. You know for setting the mood and everything." I hear no response, no duhs not even slow drawn out ones. Maybe the shark has dirt in its mouth? "You can do it whenever you like, I will wait."

The sound keeps going, slowly circling and for a brief moment I almost fall asleep. This land shark is definitely taking its time, tenderizing me in a non physical way. I might even just call out, "Come on just eat me!" Maybe that is what it is waiting on, an invite. That is fiendish yet really polite. I have mixed blessings on it.

"May I nom you?"

"How polite, yes you may. Wait no no no."

Wait a moment, a land shark doesn't explain the chiropractors going all statue though. Unless they missed an appointment and their muscles went all stiff. It happens, you think they would know better though. "Do you I need to give you," I start to say to the chiropractor next to me but stop when a pigeon lands on his arm and gives me the look. Unblinking and scary. It burns down to the soul and no matter how much milk you drink, the burning will continue. You will wave your hand in front of your mouth saying, "Hot! Hot! Hot!" Over and over.

It is a stare that says only one thing, well that depends really but this time it says, "Zip it. I am roosting here," in a Brooklyn accent to, so it was really forceful.

"Okay..." I say laughing to myself as I looked away, still trying to find the source of the  sound. Over there. No over there. No, now it is over there.

From out of nowhere a pair of sunglasses came flying out towards me. Followed by "Put these on."

"Okay?"


((What the...))

Catherine

I look down at the sunglasses and think for like a second, not to much to think about really what with the current situation. "Um, going to have some problems with that," I say wiggling my hands and feet. "No hands or feet and I don't..." Pausing to lift my head and stick out my tongue, "think my tongue can reach that far."

I hear the mysterious voice again, "How about your tail? It looks prehensile." I look towards my tail, "Can you do it girl?" My tail looks up at me like tails do and starts to weakly pick itself up, it gets about this high and falls back down. "It's too weak, the dart was to close to it and everything." I motion with my head towards my tail, "look at it", weakly my tail just lays there out of energy.

"Okay, well...." The mystery voice said, "You will need to close your eyes then, while I put the sunglasses on you."

"Are they necessary, it isn't like the sun is really bright or anything."

"Well...." The voice started to answer, "they aren't really for the sun."

I am about to ask why are they needed for but stop and slowly nod, "Ah style, now I understand. You want me to look good laying here, I get it."

"No..." the voice answered, "for another reason." I could here whoever that was the source of the voice take a deep breath, "Listen do you want to be like the others?" I look around to the chiropractors standing there like some crazed lawn statues, "Not really."

"Then close your eyes."

"Okay...." I start to answer as I start to close my eyes, "now when I open them and a big monster with teeth and claws is standing over me I will be very upset."

"Don't worry about it," the voice answered back.

Slowly I closed my eyes the rest of the way, "okay....." Moments later I could hear the scrapping again, getting closer and closer. In my mind I could picture a land shark pulling its way closer and closer, giggling to itself since it has fooled its prey. I fooled it though, I am tied down hah! Wait that isn't right .

I could feel the the sunglasses being picked up off my chest, which is pretty good if a land shark just did that. What with the flippers and everything. Then the little ear things slipping against either side of my face as they slide back. Again really impressive for a land shark. Then a light tap on the nose bridge thingie, again very impressive. "Now you can open your eyes."

Finally I am going to see who is at the other end of the mysterious voice. Will it be a land shark with a napkin tied around it so it doesn't get too messy? It's teeth glinting in the light, a knife and a fork in either flipper. Only one way to find out, slowly I open my eyes and see a girl standing there smiling back. Okay that isn't bad, unless she has a knife behind her back, "Hello."

It the girl has a knife usually it gets pulled out right after hello. Usually knife wielders get bored in long conversations, maybe they have better things to do. Hello, if they say hello and stab stab stab.

"Hello," the girl replies as she brings a hand up to scoot some hair out of her face. The hair hiding as it gets pushed behind a ear. I feel bad for the girl, having a bad hair day and it is hissing back. Hate when I have a, wait what? Hissing? Hair doesn't hiss! I focus on the hair and watch it moving, there must be a slight breeze or something. That is it, a slight breeze that explains everything. Even the hair that it starting to pick itself up and look at me.

Looking at me? My eyes grow wide as I lay there as more hair starts to pick itself up and stare at me. I must be seeing things, I tell myself as I start to lift the sunglasses. Quickly one of  the girl's hands goes to my hand and pushes down on the glasses, "No don't!"

In the haste I could feel the Sunglasses nearly go through my face, "Ow!"

"Sorry, but please keep them on."

"Okay but I wanted to make sure what I saw was real or sunglasses influenced."

The girl turned away for a moment, "What did you see?"

"Um... The same thing I am seeing now, you hair looking at me."

"It is," The girl answered, "it is curious, that is all."

"Curly hair I don't mind, mine goes all curls when it gets humid out. It looks like I have a red sheep wrapped around my head," I said getting a giggle from the girl, "it is the curious part that is.... Curious."

It looked like the girl was about to say something but I had to add something," Oh and the beady little eyes."

The girl took a breath and opened her mouth. "Oh and the little forked tongues."

She nodded. "Oh and the fangs..

"Yes I know," the girl answered, "I have snakes for Hair."

"Whaaaaaa," I start to say before blacking out, too much snake hair information overload maybe. TMSHIO.


((Okay someone needs to tell someone hair shouldn’t hiss and spit. Not sure if there is shampoo for that.))

Catherine

I wake up to the soothing sound of hissing and I reach out and try to turn off the alarm. Maybe someone accidentally flipped my alarm to the slow wake up mode, no blaring music or beeping alarm just a subtle hiss. Like wind through the reeds or even a record slowly spinning. I remember seeing one in grandpa's garage and asking him what it was. He asked me what I thought it was and I just stood there thinking, I could tell it spun but that was about it. Grandpa laughed when I said a childproof lunchmeat cutter, I saw them when I went with mom to the grocery and this sort of looked like one. "No," he said, turning it on for me to listen to it. Between all of the hissing and popping I think I heard someone singing. He laughed more when I said it must have been a CD player used in the stone age.

My hand went out and I swatted and hit air and the hissing continued. I flip around and swat again. Missing the alarm clock, did someone move it? Slowly I open my eyes and the world seemed darker than I remember it, was it night time? I turn my back around and the darkness shifts, oh yeah sunglasses... Wild night with a banana milkshake, I do the whole mouth thing. Smacking my lips a little as I reach up to remove the sunglasses.

Fingers touch the sunglasses and I hear "Don't do that!" Which takes me from drowsy to completely awake in a blink of a sleepy eye. A hand comes down and starts to push the glasses back down as I struggle, well try to struggle. Kind of hard to struggle tied down. You can try to get up but arms only bend so far back before ow! You can try to go further but that is when arms start popping off and that isn't a good thing. If arms are meant to pop off they would have come with quick releases.

"Okay, okay, okay..." I respond leaning my head from side to side to get away from the hand to no avail. But the okays seemed to defuse the hand, luckily I didn't have to snip the red wire because I am not seeing any.

A voice comes over the radio, "Monkey, you need to diffuse the bomb." I nod, "I think I can handle that. I am pretty good with scissors, did those accordion men in kindergarten and made my teacher cry since they were so good, not because they were made from, Hey what is that over there!"

*last minute ninja art of changing the subject  *

Whew, thought I saw a flying pig. Tricky little things, faster than you think.

Slowly I open the bomb, oh and carefully since I don't want to upset it, a slight glisten on my skin. I hear the flapping of wings over head and quickly look up and see a pigeon flying overhead. "Be careful this is a bomb. Please move a safe distance away and no pooing in this general location," motion in the general location of the bomb. The pigeon gives me the thumbs up like pigeons do and flies away to hide behind a statue. I look back down towards the bomb and stretch my neck a little, then slowly open it up. "Um command I think the person who created this didn't get the memo. There is no red wires. Repeat there is no red wires. This [ insert name of important place ] will be lost in [insert time limit], wow that isn't long.  How insidious of the whoever  it was in not using one, it makes it completely unable to be defused. "

"I will keep them on," I say settling down and just laying there and I hear a good. I try to lift my hands and feet, "Maybe untie me or is this part of the ritual?"

"What ritual?" I hear the girl ask.

"Well tying down something cute and adorable by chiropractors so you can come up and freeze the people who did the tying and grab the cute and adorable and then unfreezing them as you leave so they are amazed," I answer in one breath.

The girl shook her head, "No ritual as far as I know. Let me start untying you. If you feel a small bite please tell me, I have the antidote."

I start to ask why would I feel a bite but the girl stops me by pointing to her head. Some of her snake hair looks up, smiles and I think one winks at me. "Oh yeah, sorry I forgot."

"It happens," the girl replied as she worked on the knots that bound. Some were tricker than others having more than one knot and one wasn't even tied, more of a trust knot. I have laid these two pieces of rope together like they are tied but not really, I trust you will treat it like it is tied and you will just lay there.

But after a while I am up, feet dangling off the side of the altar as I rub my wrists. The standard thing to do after being released from an alter, unless well you have been sacrificed and then well then the standard thing is different, more column 'B' stuff and I try to stay away from that column as much as I can.

"Thanks for the save," I say gently swinging my feet back and forth, "the name is Nichole Anne Marie Smith, my friends call me Monkey because, " I pause motion back to my tail who sits up a little a waves."So who is my savior from the underground chiropractors?"


((Okay mystery.....))

Catherine

The girl looks at me and is about to say something when a couple strands of snake hair falls in front of her face. I can hear a hiss, actually more then one but who is counting? One..two...three.... What? I am not counting the snake hair, I am counting the... Chiropractors. Yeah that is it.

The girl looked at me, wagging a finger to get one of the snake hairs to release its grip on a finger. "I live nearby.," the girl start to say, motioning with hand off that way. "The whole Greek column thing is cool, so I stayed nearby and visit when i need a pick me up. I guess you can say it runs in the family. Great great grandma got hooked and well every generation after that feels a little better when near something Greek. Even if it is just a gyro or some yogurt, which is kind of strange."

I was hoping I wasn't being rude but curious monkey girls wanted to know, "How about..." I ask motioning to the top of my head and then to my legs. "What?" The girl asked a little confused before catching on, "Oh yeah... I am part snake on my mother's side."

Now if I had milk, water, anything but a banana milkshake in my mouth it would have been spit out. How the? I mean? I tried to figure out it could be possibly. I mean if I drew you a diagram, you would shrug.

*snap wooden pointer against board. Now if you look at the the drawings here, drawn to the best of my abilities. You can see that the stick person and the stick snake are well incompatible. Due to a number of things listed right here and here. Even Einstein couldn't prove the theory of.... Ugh, sweet snake loving. No 'E' equals 'MC' squared there. *

I just sat there, unblinking, my feet slowly swinging back and forth.

"Hello," I heard the girl say as she waved a hand in front of my face, jarring me back to reality.

I blinked and shook my head, hoping the thoughts I just had would fall out and someone else would find them. Maybe even a snail. It would freeze, it's little mouth falling open after snailing over it. One of its eyes twitching and everything. "Yes?"

The girl smiled, "oh good I thought I froze you."

"Not frozen just thinking about.... um how?" Motioning again to the top of my head.

"Oh that is simple, I am a medusa."

Again if I had anything but a banana milkshake in my mouth it would have been spit out. The girl maybe wiping whatever it was off her as I apologized and blamed it on something over there. "Say what?"

Matter of factually and almost like it was nothing, the girl answered."All the girls in my family are medusae. "

Curiosity piqued, "How about the boys?"

The girl looked at me, "Not medusae."

"What?"

"Do you have any lawn gnome?" The girl asked. I nodded slowly and stuck one finger up.

"That is probably one of my brothers or cousins,""she said with a nod. Which made me cough, Harold was someone's brother or cousin? I thought he was made in China. I sniff once, "I can go get him if you like?"

"Coouuull...." The medusa started to say before breaking into laughter. "I can't...I can't.." Slapping her well łegs tail or something. "Those are just lawn gnomes, I collect them for my garden, want to see?"

"Will it take long ?" I ask swinging my legs to jump off.

"Nope, it is right over there, " the medusa answered pointing over there.

Quickly I jotted down a note and slapped it on one of the statues, 'mouse, this is a chiropractor, [arrow pointing somewhere, let us say there]. I am over there looking at lawn gnomes be right back. See you soon, Nichole'

"Okay let's go."


((Okay....))

Catherine

I follow behind the girl, making sure I don't step on her tail, other than the slithering and hissing of the snake hair it is relatively silent. I remember grammy's garden; the tomatoes, carrots and other stuff. I remember when I was really young I tried planting seeds that I found once. It said plainly on the box that they were for a donut tree, it never grew though. Although strangely some of the seeds that I sampled, tasted like the cereal I ate.

Now mom's garden, I think the green thumb, like my Grammy had, skips a generation. The only thing she was good at growing were weeds. Not little ones but like really big ones. There were dandelions the size of my head! We were told to stay away from it at all costs, lost my favorite ball that way. It went rolling in and I saw it sitting there, I could reach it and everything but everyone told me to let it go. I asked why and everyone just went quiet. It was really pretty though, I have to give mom that. She knew how to grow weeds, I even told her she should write a book on it and she shot me the dirtiest look and told me to go to my room.

"Hey by the way, what should I call you other than girl and hey you?"

The girl stopped and turned to look at me, "No one has ever asked me that before, of course everyone has always always been..." Quickly the girl threw out her arms and froze for a good long while, long enough for me to think that pigeons were soon going to roost on her. Right when I was just about to scan the skies for circling pigeons the girl dropped her arms, "You can call me Melissa."

I give Melissa the questioning look with my eyebrow, "A medusa called Melissa?"

Melissa dropped her shoulders, "Yeah my mom wasn't to original."

"Hey it fits especially with the hiss at the end?"

Melissa returned the questioning back to me and I blocked it, ha ha, with changing the subject, "So what do you have growing in your garden Melissa?"

"Oh this and that," Melissa answered as she turned back and continued to slotjre along, "a yellow flower, a purple one, a really dark red one with thorns, some little white ones and whatever else I find."

"It sounds pretty," I say with a nod.

"Very much so, we will be there soon," Melissa answered as we turned a corner and do the whole reveal thing with one of her arms, "in fact here we are. Please don't tell anyone about it, it is a secret garden."

"I promise I won't tell anyone."

I turned the corner and just froze, I am not sure what I was picturing but not what I was seeing. There were flowers, but the gnomes easily outnumbered them. If I had to, I would call it a gnome garden with flowers and not a flower garden with gnomes.

"Wow this is pretty," I said as I started to walk down the path that split the garden in two. With every step it felt like I was being judged by a thousand eyes and I probably was with the number of gnomes that were standing there. In fact the deeper I got into the garden the creepiness factor went up, I could almost swear that the lawn gnomes were turning to watch me but every time I stopped to look, none of them were looking at me. Quick little buggers.

Melissa nodded when I mentioned she had a quite a few lawn gnomes, "Yes I do. It took me a while to collect them all to."

"Really?" I said as I shook one, Melissa's growing larger in a blink of an eye.

"Yes, could you put him down?"

I looked down at the gnome in my hand, with a shirt on that said 'who is your gnomie?', then carefully put him down. Oh if you look a majority of lawn gnomes are male because of the great bluegrass epidemic of eighty five. Something happened and well.... There is a lot of boy lawn gnomes now and very few girl ones, unless someone paints a boy one wrong of course.

Melissa thanked me after I placed the gnome down and started to list all of the lawn gnomes and what she had to get them. Talking about a collector, wow! In fact the one over there is a first edition run of the I have a crink in my neck lawn gnome prized for the look on his face. It is.... Where did Melissa say it was again? Oh yeah right over there. Look at it, the look says it all. Anguish, pain and will someone give me a back rub all wrapped up in one.

Everyone I pointed to Melissa could tell me where it was from and everything..I even tried to trick her by saying 'even though this looks the same as the other and is sitting in the same position. Can you tell me about if?'

I was about to ask her about the one that was well, was um..... Doing something embarrassing when I heard a voice shatter the air, "Nichole where in the Gouda are you?"

"Oh jeez I have to get back or my friend will kill me," I said imagining feeding me the sword in an unpleasant way.

"K," Melissa responded, "want me to show you the way back?"

I looked back and looked more back, "yeah you better."


((Insert witty comment))

Catherine

Melissa showed me the way back to the altar, your whole way she described the fine points of lawn gnome collecting. What to look for when you find a lawn gnome and what to do if they become animated and revolt. In fact, Melissa said that she had one go bad once and it trashed her garden. Gleefully pulling up carrots, stomping on flowers and adding to the fertilizer, it took her a week before she finally caught it and got it bound and gagged. Imprisoning it in the one location that a lawn gnome is powerless in, there. Yes there, just thinking of there is making be shiver. There is no flowers to stomp on. There is no carrots to pull up. There is no fertilizer to add too....it is just there. It is an easy place to get to, Melissa told me, since it is right there and sometimes over there but it is always there.

Neither of us noticed when we were close to the altar until Mouse called out, well ore like growl out, "Where in the adelost were you?"

"Didn't you read my note?" I answer back, my eyes growing wide when I realized something, "Mouse don't look this way or you will become a pigeon roost."

"What are talking about?" Asked as it looked at me and Melissa.

A tear started to run down my cheek when images of pigeons resting on Mouse popped into my mind, "No mouse turn away, it might not be to late."

"What in the Gouda are you talking about?" Mouse growled.

"Melissa is a medusa and everything. You will turn to stone if you aren't wearing protection like mine," motioning to my sunglasses.

Mouse growled, which she seemed like she was doing a lot at the moment, "Yeah so."

"But you don't have protection."

Mouse slowly stood up and spit some yellow stuff, "I don't have the time to be a statue that and I have had a couple run ins with medusas before. In fact...." Mouse stopped and started to root through its back pack, "ah here it is.."  Pulling out a bundle almost half the size of itself from the backpack before tossing it to Melissa, "Here you go."

Melissa caught the package with both hands and quickly started to unwrap it like it. Her eyes growing larger and larger the more the whatever was wrapped was revealed. Twine fell away and then packaging until Melissa gasped, in her hands sat another gnome. "It's it's the limited edition Leonard the lawn gnome. Where did you find it Auntie M."

Auntie M? What the? I look from Melissa to Mouse and back to Melissa, a little no a lot lost.

"A little island off of Greece, not on any map and was said to have sunk years ago. Heard a rumor and headed in that direction. Took me a while but eventually found it."

"Thank you, I hope it wasn't any trouble," Melissa said without taking her eyes off of the gnome. In her head she was already picturing where she was going to put Leonard, in that one spot. No not that one, the one right over there with the good lighting.

Mouse laughed, "No trouble, just a cyclops that was all. Anything for you kiddo."

Okay, what? But she is a and mouse is a....... How can mouse be Melissa's aunt? Is their cliffnotes?

Mouse slung its backpack back on its back, "Got to go, tell your mom hi for me."
.
Melissa nodded without taking her eyes of Leonard, "Will do."

Mouse spit once and started to head off, "get you tail moving,"

"Okay...." I said confused, "See you later Melissa."

"Later Monkey..." Melissa answered and started to slither away, her eyes still not leaving the gnome.


((Okay snake haired girl from near Greece hmmm...))

Catherine

We weren't walking long up the path when Mouse started to growl, I am not sure at what though, just a general growl. Maybe at the rocks and pebbles, growl you aren't boulders or something. Maybe at the continual lightning flashes from the castle sitting up on the cliffs above us, which makes sense I think. It is simple math really, castle plus cliffs equals lightning flashes so nothing odd there. Now if there was a rainbow and balloons floating about, then I would give it a second look and take a step back, cautious that something was up. Dark castle with a rainbow and balloons, something would be definitely be up, Dark Lords don't get into rainbows and balloons, other than evil rainbows and balloons.

Maybe it was the lightening that was making Mouse growl. Stupid lightening flashes, hurting my eyes growl. Could be anything really, even the shape of the clouds, that one over there looks like it should be growled at. Sitting there all cloud-like looking like a angry teddy bear. Grrr grrr.

I am going to try something, I tell myself, that I might regret pretty quick. In a way it is like diffusing a bomb but more dangerous if unsuccessful, "Um Mouse...."  I hold my breath after that and if I can, cross anything that I can cross, hoping that sword doesn't go SCHWING and I go eek 'Oh no.....'

"What?" Mouse asked as it slowly turned to look at me without stopping.

"Um. Yeah. Well. Ok, how are you Melissa's Aunt? I mean she is part snake and you are a mouse and everything. That and the whole medusa things."

Mouse spit, "I ran into her grandmother years ago. Got in a drawn out tussle with her but in the end became friends." Mouse laughed, which I think was the first time I heard a laugh coming from it, "I guess when you can stare a medusa in the eyes and then smack her across the face, you two become friends. She already had Melissa's mom and we became friends. I guess it is the whole medusa thing. You are standing there turning pigeons into rocks and some adventurer comes up and removes your head even though you liked where it was. Melissa's mom asked me to watch after her and I became her 'Aunt'."

I  nodded, "Now that makes sense. What I was imagining didn't make any sense."

*mentally wiping my forehead.*

"Usually doesn't," Mouse replied as it turned and started to walk away.

"Hey, it made sense at the moment...."


((Part snake person faced so am I an astronaut or argonaut? Whatever you call them...))

Catherine

I thought it would be best to stay quiet after the last comment, I didn't need anymore spitting going up to the castle. It was already steep and with the lack of goats jumping about it didn't reassure me. I remember from the nature shows that I watched, that they always hopped about the mountains no matter how steep. I would sit there watching them on the tv thinking there was no way that they could make this jump or that jump and they would. Even straight up! There was that one time that made me go 'huh', when one jumped and swore it curved around the mountain to where it eventually landed.  I hit pause got some paper out, then hit reverse and played the scene again. Tongue out, cute and adorably by the way, I tried to do the calculations on how the goat just did what it did. Doing math and graphs and charts, one was apple with scoop of ice cream and even diagrams. I could connect the dots, the goat was here and it got here but that was about it. Connecting with a nice curved line but if someone asked me I would just shrug and if it appeared on a test I would answer if with either 'it is against my religious beliefs' or 'somehow'.

But with the lack of goats, it meant that the climb was going to be hard so hard that goats said forget about it. That they weren't going to risk their necks oh this mountain. Did I miss a sign or something ? Was there a 'You climb this at your own risk and if you fall it is going to be a long fall with a sudden stop' waiver? Did the chiropractors remember to fill one out for me?

Lightening flash and KRAKABOOM!

I wince at the boom and lightening flash, it sounded like it was close. Okay it was, like right over KRAKABOOM! Yeah this could be making it KRAKABOOM if we are constantly putting our hands to KRAKABOOM ears and everything or getting KRAKABOOM off the mountain.

Can't let it stop us though, we have to KRAKABOOM it to the castle. A Sherpa could have helped though and a KRAKABOOM. Quickly I find out that having a tail has unintended benefit. With it stuffed in one ear it frees one of my hands to grab KRAKABOOM  as a just in case. It would have been better with cotton balls or big earmuffs but I forgot to pack those. Let me check KRAKABOOM  fast, hmmm okay got this thing, some rope, a rock for some strange reason, earplugs, a scrap of paper with myrtle on it and KRAKABOOM other things but no cotton balls or earmuffs.

We continue upwards, braving the thunder and KRAKABOOM. The flashes happening so often everything is having a weird strobe effect, which is cool in haunted houses or dances. Boocha boocha boocha, but not on the side of a mountain. That is just unsafe. What with your pupils constantly opening and closing, what happens if you find yourself on a thin ledge with swinging logs going back and forth or some wild animal chasing after you with sharp teeth and claws. You will want those pupils one size and focused on getting hit or running for your life. Big pupils little pupils big pupils little pupils only lead to one thing if you are trying to be careful and that is screaming or a really neat dance. One of those two, I prefer the neat dance but it is ok usually the screaming.

Getting closer to the castle doesn't make it look any better. It looked bad from way down at the bottom of the hill, up close yeah. Okay, I am not to sure what the exterior designer was going for but if was a general bad vibe with a side of keep out, they got it. Anything else, well if I close my eyes, stick my fingers I my ears and forget everything I saw as I walked up here I could say yeah it looked like that. There was cobwebs, dust which was somehow still dry and not blowing all over, burn marks on the stone, some rusty chains and what looks like skulls over there. So the general air of stay away was pretty apparent, anymore stay away and I would have maybe stayed away. Nah I doubt it.

I try to get close to the castle, while staying a safe distance away just in case there was buckets of oil. Looking across the moat at the castle, I turn to mouse and mouth the words I will come to regret later, 'So how do we get over there?'


((Krakaboom. Scary ending ..))

Catherine

I wholeheartedly expect 'That is simple, you turn around and I will kick you.' It is becoming occurrence really, I need to get from point a to point b so fit some odd reason that means my butt gets a foot impression. Maybe I got a curse placed on my butt once, I don't know by who though. Weird curse too. I can just imagine the witch or whoever waking up and going "Hey, I think I am going to curse a person's butt today." If anyone is standing nearby they just give that person a look, take a step back and tell them they should keep those things to themselves.  It is annoying but I guess there are worse curses, like the inability to read every other sentence. No matter what, you only get half of the story.

Looking over the edge of the moat, yeah I don't know why either. Hello you are on a cliff, why do you need a moat? Where is the water going to go? The fish? The alligators? If I remember reading it somewhere,  it is a safety requirement to have one alligator per moat. Maybe if a person is drowning the alligator will swim over and save them. It feels like I am looking down at a dark void, which is a good description at what I am seeing..

"Sorry the other pebbles voted," I whisper, nudging a pebble to the edge and push it off, I watch it fall away and I give it a friendly  smile as I listen for it  to hit the bottom. Nothing comes though. I stand there looking down into the void and see nothing.

"So..." I ask looking over to mouse, "How do we get over there?" 


((Now you know moat safety features. The alligators aren’t there just to nom but to save you if you are drowning. Then nom you of course. ))

Catherine

Mouse looked at me and shrugged, which isn't a good sign. It put the locator here, so shouldn't Mouse know how to get pass the moat? It isn't like those just grow on trees or anything, planning needs to go into those. No on the fly, hey I got some free time I think I am going to grab a shovel and put in a moat. Planning needs to be done too, surveyors if you are lucky. String and some sticks at the least.

Okay the  most will go here to there and then over there followed  by there to here. Taking a look at it I see some problems; the boulders for one, the cliff is another and that dragon staring at me. Yeah I think a moat  can go somewhere, I think the foreman should go speak with the dragon and guess what, you have been promoted to the foreman. Now as your first act of being a supervisor, go speak to the dragon and take these steaks.

Of course if you use strings, you will have to worry about deer running into it but looking around I think deer are staying away from this place with a ten foot pole. Not sure why they have poles, unless they are adventurers though. Not sure how they would use them though. Mouth maybe? That would be an interesting fight. Two deer with poles in their mouths.

Spin. CRACK! Spin. Another CRACK! Mmpphhh Mmph Mmp. Spin. Spin. CRACK! Mmpph Mmph. Spin. CRACK! CRACK!  CRACK!  Hoof punch. Spin. CRACK! Mmpphh Mm Mpph.

Look at that, see I told you it would be cool. Deer waacha! Sparks doing thing that sparks do and sparking, small animals flying this way and that just because and deer dancing all over. The antlers would be the interesting part, would the fighting stop if they try to untangle or would they drop poles and leer at each other until one gives the other the hoof and BOOM deer throw down in the woods with insults flying and other animals taking bets. They might even sell tickets.

In a deep announcer voice with loud guitar rifts in the background. SATURDAY! SATURDAY! SATURDAY! Come on down to the clearing and see what happens when this buck fights that buck. See sparks fly and everything. Bring a fire extinguisher. Bring your kids and find out if eight tips make the buck. Oh yeah...., SATURDAY! SATURDAY! SATURDAY!

No deer though so Mouse and myself can do the string without fear of URKING of deer. But since the moat is done, we don't have to worry about laying one out.

*Boink! Idea light bulb.*

Talking about deer and poles... "Hey Mouse," I tell to well Mouse.mouse does that whole body turn and looks right at me.

"Yeah," followed by a spit.

"Do you happen to have any ten foot poles. They hand them out to adventurers and well you are an adventurer and everything."

Mouse just closed it eyes, "No......"

"Well shoot, I was hoping and everything. Could have pole vaulted over and surprised whoever was in the castle."

'Surprise!'

'How did you get in here?' A very confused monster asks.

I stand proud, fists on hips. Sunrays fanned out behind me and awe and surprise, "Pole vault. Ha ha. First time an adventurer actually used a ten foot pole for something other than what adventurers use them for. Whatever it is, poke dragons or other fell creatures from the safe distance of ten feet plus arm length. Moats won't stop adventurers anymore!"

Standing there I look over the side and see the void below, then look at the castle. Maybe if I took a couple steps back I could run and make it, hugging onto the castle as I hard as I can. I start to run the math in the back of my mind. Okay I would take so many steps back and with the wind to my back it would multiply acceleration and speed by two, then with an updraft and a lacking of flying birds to accidentally smack into I would get..... Carry the two, add the six, take the sum of this and add it to this' over there, subtract this and I get.... How did I get letters? There is no way... I got 'Try it, what is the worse that can happen?'

Yeah I don't like it when math gets all word problemy for me. Specially when it spells out the possibilities of death or falling into darkness. Trying to stay from the both of those as much as I can. Standing there I thin for a moment and I hear the metal snapping of fingers..

*SNAP!*

Quick I start rummaging through my bag, "Here they are..."

"Here is what?" Mouse asks moments before a uniform hits it the face. It grabs the uniform and growls , "what was that for?"

"Quick get behind the boulder over there and change clothes. This will get us in..." I say with a nod as I step behind another Boulder and get changed, "You ready?"

"Yeah," mouse grumbles and I step out to see it standing there, dressed in the uniform, "Perfect!" Quickly I step up to mouse and clear my throat, "delivery for one mr." I look down for a moment trying to fake looking at a pad "villain in a castle."

I give Mouse a wink and a thumbs up, this is so going to work.


((When in doubt trust the Mouse and not button pants.))

Catherine

Of course nothing happens at first, it is a castle. Not like there are security cameras and electronic feeds to send a message that there is delivery people at the front gate. I am not seeing any antennas ether so the wireless connections must be bad. Probably negative bars for it, once you go in, the battery gets sucked dry. Like... Hey I charged my phone just a few minutes ag.... Wait a second the battery is blinking. What in the? I just charged it,  I thought. So maybe they have so one like a runner. Someone at the front gate, someone is sent running through the hallways to tell the lord or lady of the castle, of course out of breath too since the lord or lady is probably in some weird room or something not in the front. Doing whatever lords or ladies do with their days.

"My huh Lord or Lady huh, there is a huh huh at the front gate. Huh."

"What is a huh huh?" Asked in a Royal tone.

"A pack huh, a pack huh age...."

"You must do something about the huh right away. "

"What you want me to go get the package for you. It is really far back to pick it up and I am not really in shape. That and it was sort of big," hands on sides, "and heavy..." 

"No I meant the heavy breathing."

"My lord or lady, I am in armor. It is really heavy and everything. Not built for running. If you want less huh, you won't require messengers to wear armor. "

"How dare to speak to me like that."

"I apologize my lord or lady, but I must speak the truth. We have lost four messengers this week and several more are in the infirmary due to heat exhaustion. This armor is like a oven. I can actually bake in it. Do you want some bread, it is freshly made."

"I never thought," the lord or lady says, surprised and shocked.

"Maybe think about using carrier pigeons."

"Such a silly idea, Where would I get the armor for them?

"My lord or lady, okay... You don't armor the pigeons. They couldn't fly if you did. You tie a message to their leg and send them off."

"It sounds like you have given this some thought."

"Well yeah, when you can bake cupcakes in your armor. You start to think of ways of getting out of it. Care for a chocolate cupcake?"

So mouse and myself sit there and wait and wait, suddenly there was the sound of metal on something and a loud THUNK as the drawbridge started to lower. "How dramatic," I whispered just loud enough for Mouse to hear as I stood there. If it touches the ground and fit rolls out, it will be great.  Floodlights would be an overkill I think and blinding. Fog on the other hand would be perfect. A touch of dramatic with just a hint of the mysterious, the fog swirling as someone exits. So cool.

The drawbridge hits the ground with a loud THUNK and I look for fog, dropping my shoulders when I don't see any, "Poo it is just a castle. No fog or anything." I look back towards mouse, "So where is the locator at'?"

Mouse answered  with a point towards the center of the castle  and a large tower. I look up and at that moment lightening flashed, storm clouds darkened and BOOM!

I nod, "Monkey senses tingling." What with the gate opening and drawbridge dropping with no smog machine? It feels funny, I need to keep on my toes no matter how much it hurts.

Mouse growled and spit, "Stop goofing  around, lets get going."

Boom of thunder!

"Okay..."


((By nature some castles are spooky. All of the storm clouds and lightning I think. Oh and the woman who loobes to scream all of the time. Some of us like to sleep at night!!! ))

Catherine

About half way across the drawbridge I start to walk normally, my toes were screaming to much to try and walk any further on them. Maybe if I went to more than one of the ballerina classes my mom wanted me to go to I could make across  the whole drawbridge, up any stairs, through a doorway or two and finally pirouette at the end. All along singing la la la and wearing a tutu. It is a little know fact that you have to sing la la la while wearing tutu, anything else just sounds ridiculous. That and it would look ridiculous if let's say you sung heavy metal in a tutu. Growl hiss hiss yeah something dark and heavy and metal growl hiss tongue out and point to the tutu. That and I hear bad things happen if la la la isn't sung with a tutu, dark things boo....

As we cross the rest of the drawbridge my tail goes into guard mode, short of setting a fence around me of course. We both know we are in a spot that something can jump up and say boo or maybe poke something out of the deaths of the moat and pull me kicking and screaming back down. There could be a troll but I doubt that, while common to bridges, they aren't common to the  draw type bridges. The whole clinging on for dear life and hoping your grip doesn't give away sort of keeps them away. That and the alligators, you don't want to be hanging with alligators chomping at your butt. The three billy goats gruff story would have been completely different if it was a drawbridge.,they would have all just walked across and the story would have been boring. Kids would have looked at their parents and added what the meaning of it was or were they trying to bore them asleep.

I thought when we reached the other side a guard would pop out and say 'Hey' but nothing I stopped for a moment as mouse waalked by, something was off. Drawbridge coming down, no guards, thunder and lightning. Everything I can see having that not so clean look to it. Hmmmm.... Quickly I  slipped my hand into my bag and pulled out the Boy Scout manual and started to flip through it. How to tell if your lawn is infested by golf balls. Flip. Flip Useful, especially if you are about to mow the lawn, but not so much now. Flip. Flip. Two square, four squares little brother. Phpft okay. Flip. Flip.  Flip. Flip. Castles the medieval four one one okay get might work, I tell myself as I start to flip through.

"It looks like It is a true," I say with a nod. Mouse just looks at me at it looked down either side of the hallway, "I am going to regret this. What?"

"A possible haunting."

"A what? What lead you to that?" Mouse asked at it turned around to face me,

I proudly stand there minus the pigeons since they are afraid of ghosts. "The drawbridge for one, no one operating it. Unless there is an automatic drawbridge opener which I doubt. Two no guards, a castle this big there has to be guards. Finally three, look how dusty this place is. Definitely ghosts level dust. I say we might be facing a full body level three spirit."

Mouse just slowly closed it eyes and shook its head, "You have watched too much tv""

"But it makes sense. Come on tell..."

"No" mouse said as it stomped its away over to me. "This place isn't haunted."

"Prove it!"

"No" followed by a spit.

"Fine...." I grumbled as we start heading down the corridor, looking for spirits
.
*mental fingers crossed*


((Witty comment but witty is dry today))

Catherine

Yeah I am not to sure, I tell myself as mouse and myself walk down the corridor. Wall mounted candle holders scream 'I am haunted', especially when there is cobwebs all over in them. Of course whoever built the castle could have done it for child safety too. Put the candles up high enough and bolted to the wall so there isn't any little fireballs running about. What is even better is the candles keep lightning up as we get close to them, yeah I know what you are going to say. Monkey that can be done with motion sensors and stuff. Yeah I know that but it is adding to the whole boo effect.

Cautiously I follow behind Mouse, probably one of the worse places to be in a place that is haunted. The person in the back always gets grabbed or finds that they now have something sharp in their back. Neither of which I want to happen to me. Of course the person in the front gets to find things out first, swinging blades and things jumping out yelling 'Boo' or 'I am going to suck your soul out through a straw.'

Which mouse can handle with its big sword. If something comes jumping out, it would freeze in mid air after seeing the sword and just back away slowly and hide in the shadows hoping that Mouse didn't see it. Now if I was in the front it would be more like.... Thing jumps out and 'No' is repeated over and over as I thump it over the head with my staff.

So the best place to be is right on the middle, kind of hard to nab or stab someone between two people. Unfortunately we don't have a third victim, I mean person tagging along. I stop for a moment and look back, can't be too safe in a haunted castle. Drop your guard for a moment and you find yourself going ow, turning around and asking 'did you really have to' to what decided to place whatever it had in its hand in your back.

Of course, whatever it was that left what was formerly in its hand in your back just shrugs and says it slipped or there was a fly or mosquito and it was trying to get it for you. If it has sharp teeth, glowing eyes or something that makes you take a step back as you ask them if they have seen a doctor recently, don't believe them. That is the leading cause of cheerleader death in haunted places. Monster goes it was a simple accident or it was trying to help, cheerleader nods and says okay and well... Ra Ra urk.....

"Do you think we can go back and get a third person or persons to lead up the back" I ask Mouse, "there was a booger goblin back in the amusement park and if we had some rope we can drag an extreme chiropractor behind us."

"No," Mouse growled and then spit again. Which might make whatever that could be sneaking around in the shadows slip and get hurt.

My tail swings around and points to the spit goober, "Do you think that is safe. Someone might get hurt." Of course Mouse stopped and slowly turned to face me. It was one of those slow turns and immediately I thought of it being possessed. Something got to mouse, what with the look in its eyes... In the back of my mind I was already planning to call time out if pea soup was shot in my direction and look in the manual for an exorcism or something. It had everything else why not an exorcism.

I think there is a merit badge for it and everything. Not sure what it takes to get it though.  Maybe work your way up from possessed thumbtacks that won't stick in anything to dolls with axes and finally maybe a choice between a possessed car or a crazed wild eyed redneck possessed by a disgruntled elder God. Those are the worse you know, spitting all over the place and you don't know if it is chew or something unholy they are spitting out all the while speaking in some long forgotten for a reason language.

"M garing tube pubsize u. Urd sould esmne."

"What? What do you want? I don't understand you. Is there any way you can include captions when you speak? That would help out a lot, since I am not sure if I need to make you something or run. I think my mom still has the flash cards when she was teaching me to speak, let me go get them for you. Okay, be right back."

I slipped my hand into my bag, pretty sure that I didn't have holy water but a sugar free diet drink might do good. A splash of that especially with one of those pieces of candy that make the carbonation go nuts and I am pretty sure any demon should just say later and give the person's body back to them. In my head i start to count down, need to get a jump on the pea soup and the moment I see Mouse's head start to spin, i can open he can and unleash the suds of war all the while I am yelling, "Eat diet suds demon. Go back to wherever you came from which I don't care, just go. Release Mouse, it is upset by itself it doesn't need your help....."

Here it comes, I tell myself as Mouse's mouth opens, the really deep voice saying It will consume your soul without a coupon voice. Pointer finger is in the ready position. "What in the Allgauer Emmentaler are you talking about?"

I relaxed my finger and pull my hand out of the bag so Mouse doesn't know that I was carrying. "Don't you think that whatever is sneaking around in the shadows, since this place is haunted, might slip and fall on your spit?"

Mouse just brought its hand up to its face and closed its eyes, took a deep breath before turning and starting to walk away.

"What?" I ask, confused a little at Mouse's response. I was thinking about general safety really. Someone sneaking around in the shadows with a sharp object might slip and fall.

"There is no one sneaking around in the shadows and this place isn't haunted."

"I will take your word on this but if I find a sharp object in my back or I see a chair walking I will point at it and say 'See!' "

"Fine...." Mouse growled and started to walk away.

"......and if anything like a candle stick holder or a teapot or anything inanimate starts to sing, I will freak out."

Mouse didn't even stop, all it did is growl 'Fine' and kept walking. I looked around for a moment before running after Mouse when I swore I saw something move. Didn't you see it? It moved, turned and looked at me with no eyes. I think it had a knife to, a really small knife, about this big, it wouldn't have hurt but a knife still the same.

"Wait up....."


((famous last words. “Wait up....” but no zombies or large reptiles here. Well I think there isn’t.))

Catherine

Mouse disappears for a moment and I quickly run up to where I saw it last, expecting to see if it was knocked unconscious by something lurking in the shadows. It would still be standing there with a baseball bat in its hand, "that is for not cleaning up your spit. I slipped and it hurt." "See I told you," I Would say pointing, "you didn't think it would matter but it does. Maybe next time you might want to put out one of those wet floor signs."

But no unconscious mouse, no baseball bat or anything holding something that could be used for knocking someone else unconscious just stairs up. I guess castles would
have stairs, there are multiple floors and everything. Really doubt they would.... well never mind, just a silly thought.  I guess if you are building a haunted castle, escalators are out. They don't creak when you step on them so it makes sense why they are not considered. You want as much as possible to add to the feel and everything, non squeaking escalators just don't fit the bill. Unless they are possessed of course, it lets you ride it about half the way up and goes in reverse then stops. Then you have to walk up the rest of them but..... The escalator knows this and starts to go in reverse so you never reach the top. It can go on forever but you can't and you can't beat it by pressing the emergency Å›top sign either. It would make you walk and walk until you start to cry, saying 'I just want to go there.'

We both quickly ascend the stairs to the second floor and immediately I catch a hint of something in the air. "Do you smell that?" I ask Mouse as I sniff.

"Yeah, it wasn't here before."

I sniff the air again, "You are telling me that...." and Mouse interrupts me nodding "Yes ."

I start it head down the hallway, following the smell in the air, "That is ridiculous. Why would there be one in here?" Mouse answers behind me with a don't  know as I continue down the hallway, stopping when I turn a corner and see something that shouldn't be there.

"I know they are on every corner,". I tell mouse, bathed by the green and white sign, as I stand there. The familiar logo  of the half bass and half woman starring down at me with those large unblinking eyes. "I can't believe someone put a Stellar does in here." A über double mocha squirt with a half dip of creme coffee would hit the spot. I quickly start to speed up, imagining the cup in my hand. Taking a sip every so often as we continue to explore. This will be good...

Running up to the door, opening it to a smiling face and ones of those one machines that make cappuccino, happily gurgling away. In moments I am in at the corner ordering and moments after that two cups are sitting before me. I pass the person my money telling them to keep the change before stepping back out into the hallway.

"Time to get serious ," I say as I hand Mouse its coffee, taking a sip of mine before heading off down the hallway, "now since coffee is in involved." Leaving mouse behind confused, it was already being serious and it didn't think giving me caffeine was a good idea. What is worse that can happen, don't answer that. Coffee is involved let's get going.


((Bean juice yum...))

Catherine

"Idefinitelyneededthecoffee.Ican'tbelieveIhaven'thadacupforakongtime.Whatdotoythinkmouse,doweneedtogoupthere." I say without taking a breath, one of my hands shooting up so fast I think it actually became a blur as I pointed up another set of steps. I would tell you what happened between getting the coffee and now but it was a lot of opening and closing of door. "Inhere,no" bang! "Inhere,no" bang! "Inhere,no" bang! Over and over and over again. That and I don't remember too much more, maybe j was abducted by aliens, yeah it could have happened. It would explain the whole I can't remember what happened from there to here. I don't remember any light bathing me, floating off the ground or the snapping of rubber gloves though. Although I have heard that if you are abducted the aliens blank your mind out and set you back where you were. I was back there and now I am here so maybe they messed up. This is kind of really strange, maybe I need to go see someone and get hypnotized to see what I have forgotten. Although I might start to suck my thumb as I rock back and forth, saying things like they did things to me. Like this one thing and this other thing and finally had me chew gum that lost its flavor really fast. Then as the memories come back a tear wells up and I start to cry uncontrollably. After the tears stop I start a group that others that have chewed the gum that loses its taste really fast can meet and get help. That is a really good idea.

"Heymouse,haveIaskedyouifweneedtogoupthesestairs?"  Hey why is my hand up already pointing up the stairs? I don't remember doing it. I remember being back there and now I am here pointing and why is my heart racing for? Did I run a marathon and not remember doing that either? Maybe I was darted by one of those people that dart animals so they can tag and track them. There is nothing around my neck and my ears don't hurt. Let me check.... No my ears don't hurt. But I was back there and now I am here and pointing. Maybe I woke up before I could be tagged and really those tags don't go with anything I have. The person could have seen that and just released me because the tag would have been really hard to set up outfits around. That and if it was only in one ear I would have a tendency to walk in circles and not realize it. That makes sense, sort of kind of and maybe.

"Mouse,doweneedtogoupthesestairs?" I ask amazed that my hand is already pointing up the stairs like it knew what to do before I even knew. It is like the whole does the dog wag the tail or the tail wag the dog which is kind of hard I think. How would a tail wag a dog? Wouldn't the dog stumble everytime the tail tried to wag it? That and the whole weight thing, tail weighing a lot less than the rest of the dog. So I don't think it is possible. But I was back there and now I am here and pointing and don't remember any of it. Maybe my body took over and walked me up here and made me point. I have heard of sleep walkers but I wasn't asleep since I just drank coffee so no way asleep but maybe I just got bored after opening all of those doors and my brain shut down and body took over. Which makes sense it was kind of boring opening a door and finding nothing then closing it. Repeating this over and over until eventually my brain shutdown and body took over.

"HeyMouse, lookasetofstairs.Iwillberightback." Quickly I run up the stairs and look around at the top. Not really taking anything in before running back down the stairs. "Thereisanotherfloorupthere." I say pointing up the stairs.

"HeyMouseforsomereasonIthinkweneedtogoupthesestairs," I say without taking a breath, "DidImisssomething,whyamIpointing?" Wide eyed and bouncing up and down, I watched as Mouse walked up to me and ripped the coffee out of my hand, "Give me that!"

Quickly Mouse turned around as I started to ask it what it was doing. All I got was "You can't handle this Venaco," moments before Mouse threw the coffee down the hall.

"Thatwasn'tnice.Iwasdrinkingthat." I said stomping my foot over and over and over again really fast as mouse counted backwards. "Hey,whyareyoucountingbackwardsfor?"

I think I think I got my answer when Mouse said one. But I was sort of busy blacking out and falling to the floor,adorably of course with a pillow, to catch what Mouse was saying. Maybe I will askzzzzzzz.........


((Bean juice. Bean juice. Makes me smile and if I drink enough I think I will never sleep.))

Catherine

The one thing I don't like about blacking out is the black out alligators, they grab ahold of you and slowly jerk you from side to side. Why I don't know since I can't talk when I am out. They just appear and my head goes flying from side to side, often I hear 'Wake up', 'Now isn't a good time to sleep' or 'She isn't coming to, smack her harder.' I always wake up when I hear the last one, the whole idea of smacking and then being smacked harder just doesn't sound nice. Usually when I wake up I catch someone with their hand up to one side and usually with the caught it the middle of something look.

Still half or a quarter asleep, I usually ask what is that for, sleepily pointing at the open hand. I usually get the nervous laugh and something in the lines of rabid mosquitos and they were trying to save my life before it sucked all of my blood out of me. Then i ask why my face is sore, I get the nervous laugh again for an answer and told how the rabid mosquito kept landing and licking its lips. I thank whoever for saving my life and stand up, checking my jaw to see if it is still attached. Mumbling,  "stupid mosquitos" as I wiggle my jaw from side to side. I think it has the proper amount of wiggle, meeting all codes for that and I think it is properly hinged. The only way I can properly test it is to slurp a banana milkshake. Can you get it for me? was just attacked by a rabid mosquito and everything, my arms and legs are all weak from defending myself. I will wait.

Oh thank you,  did you remember the bendy straw, those add something with their crinkly neck. Maybe it is the sound of stretching them apart and bending them or the idea about putting more than one of then together and having a super bendy straw.

SLURP!

Mmm...... I told you that they are really good right? What I have, okay. Like  bandana gold. Mmmm....  Let me test it again just to make sure.

SLURP!

Really good..... Jaw tested and functional. Thank monkey p.

SLURP!

What? Better safe than sorry and it would be rude of me if I didn't slurp the banana milkshake. It might feel insulted and start to cry. I don't want that.

SLURP!

Where were we? Oh yeah the bottom of another set of stairs. Asking Mouse if we should go up then passed out. Okay got it, all caught up.

With Banana milkshake in hand I climb the stairs behind Mouse. Being as careful ask can so not to spill a drop, so lips wrapped around straw at all times. Tongue in the ready for an emergencies. When we reached the top I sat off to the side slurping away as mouse thought. Since it was a sampler, the little tease of sizes, I finished the banana milkshake in a couple slurps. Deposited the container In the trash which someone thought ahead and put one in near the stairs. An excellent place to put them if you ask me, just far enough so you don't trip over them at the top and not too far away that you run into anything that is creeping about. Even had a sign to. I give it to the interior designer of the castle, they had done forward thinking with that. The rating of this castle just got another star because of that.

"So where to Mouse?" I ask knowing if I ask how much longer I would be getting an answer that I didn't want of hear or experience.

"That way," answered mouse as it pointed down the hallway. "Spiral staircase upwards to locked room. The item is kept in a chest there."

A chest, like a pirate's chest? "Is there a big 'x' to?" Mouse just rolled its eyes and walked away. Okay that last comment really didn't fit, I agree but it at least deserved more than a eye roll I think.

Hey wait up....


((now I am getting left behind. Can you believe that?))