X: The Official __________ of NASCAR!

[TheGlyphstone]

I thought this up while walking home from dinner. The NASCAR franchise has a beer, a bank, a soft drink, a chocolate, a shipping company, a cracker/cookie, and a whole bunch of actual car-related stuff. But that leaves a ton of sponsorship opportunities available.
All you have to do is fill in the blanks, a brand X for a product _______.
The more absurd and silly thing you decide to have NASCAR endorse, the better.
Only rule: If you give your NASCAR endorsement to something naughty, you must also provide a clean endorsement. Otherwise we will get nothing but dirty products.
For bonus fun, read your endorsement and anyone else's in the deep announcer voice that always accompanies stuff like this.

[Songbird]

Elliquiy.com: The Official Sexual Roleplaying Forum of NASCAR!

Sorry, I couldn't resist! ;D

[TheGlyphstone]

*Fweeeet* Rules violation!


Trojans: The Official Condom of NASCAR.

ShamWow: The Official Super-Absorbent Towel As Seen On TV of NASCAR.

[Songbird]

Trojans: The Official Condom of NASCAR.

Hey, I think Trojan Condoms could be considered a dirty endorsement! ;)

[TheGlyphstone]

Hey, I think Trojan Condoms could be considered a dirty endorsement! ;)

Only rule: If you give your NASCAR endorsement to something naughty, you must also provide a clean endorsement. Otherwise we will get nothing but dirty products.

[Beguile's Mistress]

Doc Johnson:  The Official Self-Starter of NASCAR.

[Mingnon]

Ferrari: The official stupidly expensive vehicle of NASCAR.

[LilyRoseBlack23]

Paddington: The official stuffed bears of NASCAR.

[BadForm]

NASCAR the official sport of NASCAR!!!