Friendship

[Athos]

Friendship

“Hi there!” “Hey.”
“Do you want to be friends?” “Okay.”
“Great, but before we get started
I just have a few things to say.”

“Now I’m just telling you the truth,
So promise you won’t get mad,
But you’re ugly and fat,
And people say you smell bad.”

“Now please don’t get upset,
I’m just repeating what I’ve heard,
You know that girl you like?
Well she thinks you’re a pathetic nerd.”

“I saw you working out,
I don’t really know why you try,
Everybody already hates you,
Honestly, would I lie?”

“I doesn’t matter that you’re funny,
Or that you’re a good cook,
Because nothing will ever matter,
More than how you look.”

“I’m not trying to be rude,
I’m just saying this for your own good,
You’re lucky that I’m your friend,
Because nobody else would.”

“I know that you’re honest,
And kind for kindness’ sake,
But what’s really important in life,
Is how much money you make.”

“Now the only way to live,
Is by tearing other people down,
You’ve got to give everyone who smiles,
A better reason to frown.”

“That way, you see,
You can always be the best,
So long as you keep pretending,
And don’t ever stop to take a rest.”

“So stick with me, my friend,
And we’ll have ever so much fun,
We’ll be as thick as thieves,
And I’ll show you how it’s done.”

[Mauri]

AMEN

[WanderingBlackDragon]

Well, that's certainly not somebody I'd want to be friends with.

[Kait]

I had a frenemy like this in seventh grade.

She was how I learned to like being alone.

[Arianna]

I wish people like these would not exist, but they are... important life lessons.
Thank you for writing this poem. Love it!

[Athos]

Thank you all for your kind words.

Ironically Kait, this poem is largely about a friend I also had in the seventh grade. He too taught me that I like being on my own.