Straight, Gay, Queer, Femme, Butch, That Is Not My Name...

Started by Marguerite, July 26, 2009, 10:07:41 PM

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Marguerite

Straight, Gay, Queer, Femme, Butch, That Is Not My Name...

Note: This is not against anyone nor is it against anything has done or said towards anyone. This is merely a comment and curiosity as to 'gender and sexual identity words' and how it can affect me and only me in my day to day life most of all my love life. If this somehow can be related back to you, thank you for reading but I am no expert on this subject. Take this with a grain of salt and maybe a bar of chocolate.

Queer
Straight
Homosexual
Bisexual
Butch
Femme
Genderqueer
Genderfuck
*So many names...so little time....

In my opinion, love or attraction has never been a 'male' or 'female' tag and it is not a 'straight' or 'homosexual' tag that I look for on a person. Attraction knows no bounds. Love does not whisper in my ear the person I am interested in is a butch female or a man who was born a female before he went through the process to become a male.  It does not field out those who were born a certain sex to those who have changed their sex for their own purpose in life. I see someone I am attracted to, I let the person know he or she is an attractive person. Whenever I am hit on by someone, I am not offended if it is a male or a female because both are beautiful in my eyes. Those of transgender, queer, transexual, any and every type are beautiful and loving people. While my eyes can see (most of the time) the differences of who is who, my heart could really give a rat's ass if I fall in love with someone who was born biologically of a certain sex and who is of the same gender as myself.

Labels are not something I enjoy to put on people when it comes to their sexuality or gender identification because they are people and not tupperware where I slap on their label and set them in an 'appropriate place'. What appropriate place? Do I have a set place for me in the imaginary refridgerator? Where do I fit in? I am not attracted exclusively to males. I am not head over the hills in love with women. Why should I be told I cannot love a woman and a man? Is it because I am selfish and cannot pick which side to love? Maybe I am confused and not thinking 'straightly'. This is what my own mother told me when I revealed to her my desire did not just stop at men but women and other genders as well. Males, females and everyone who falls in between the 'just male' and 'just female' appeal to me and no one should tell me I have to pick a side to love nor should they tell me the only side I can pick is males because I am biologically a female (this relates to how people assume it is wrong or an experiment phase of men and women falling for those of the same sex).

Myth 1: I am only attracted to males because I am a female. No.

Myth 2: I let someone else decide who I should love. No.

Never have I stopped and realized it was wrong to be attracted to a female because she was not a male and went against the faith or what was deemed 'correct' of those closest to me. I have not stopped and felt guilty because I was attracted to a transgender or transexual because those 'titles' fall by the wayside to me. No one is allowed to throw me into a box and tell me who I can and cannot date.  No one is allowed to tag my love life nor should I let it be allowed by any authority who thinks certain people should stay with certain people. We live in a world where strides have been made to keep prejudice out and there should not be any in telling me I cannot fall in love with a cross-dressing female because she does not fit the 'tag' placed upon her in society.

These tags do not keep me locked into what society deems appropriate for me. Tags should be placed on clothes, dog collars or even those body sprays but never should it be placed on who one should be attracted to in their life. Whenever a female in a red dress or gorgeous transgender in a pair of jeans walks on by, I let them know they are beautiful and will hopefully let me take them out for a cup of coffee.

*Notice how in two pair of tags, there is a slew of 'tags' missing from the pile such as 'queer, transgender, transexual, etc' or 'asexual, bisexual, trisexual, polysexual, omnisexual'. Again, there are a slew more 'tags' I am missing but one can get the gist of what is being said but this all pertains to me. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and right now my opinion is on how this affects me especially my love life.
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Beguile's Mistress

I support the author's comments.  I have a friend who prefers men.  My friend has dated or had relationships with some who prefer men, some who prefer women and some who don't care but just want someone who is compatible and turns them on.  For the purposes of this discussion that's all anyone needs to know.  Friend is the only tag I care about.

jasmine06

Thought I'd check out your blog as you are one of my mentors, nice to know you are so wise! I have always believed you fall in love with a person not a gender. I've only fallen in love with males, I'd be surprised if I fell in love with a female, but who knows what's round the corner. I have female friends I love and adore but I have no sexual feelings towards them.
J x