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Author Topic: Breakup with the person above you!  (Read 342296 times)

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Offline Tyrhung

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9050 on: January 30, 2014, 07:59:48 PM »
You make me feel really special when you squeeze me, but as of late, I can't help but make that embarrassing noise when you wrap your hands around me.  The mustard just doesn't come like it used to.  Tell the little sandwiches I love them, but it's just not the same anymore.

Offline JarsofPickles

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9051 on: January 30, 2014, 09:07:47 PM »
After you came to me, leaving your former lover behind, I thought we were going to be perfect together. You were the mustard and I was the jar of pickles, and wow, what amazing mustard pickles we made together-- just like mama used to make.

But lately, I feel like you're getting distant, like you don't love me anymore. I'll keep your picture on my bedside, love, but I won't be seeing you again unless you make the effort to reach out to me. With regret and love,

Elspeth


(Mustard pickles are, actually, a thing. I've had them. They're good)

Offline Ryo242

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9052 on: January 30, 2014, 09:28:45 PM »
I walked in on you with a pickle...

...

-Corner of Woe complete with vertical lines all down on him- And you wouldn't let me join in... I think we're through.


Offline JarsofPickles

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9053 on: January 30, 2014, 09:38:18 PM »
I think there's too much miscommunication in our relationship. I wanted you to join me and my pickle. And that time you were with the sausage? Nah, I can't do this anymore... but if you ever open your ears, I'm willing to try again!

Au revoir.

Offline Ryo242

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9054 on: January 30, 2014, 09:48:42 PM »
The sausage treats me better, but that's with the voice implants.  Also, I can't figure out how to change it off Dwayne Johnson's voice but...  -Blushing coy shrug- I suppose it's not all that bad...

We're moving in together!  Oh, that means we're done then.  Ja ne.  -Dials phone- Sausage honey?  You'll never believe it.. I just broke up!  I know!  -Chatting away like an annoying schoolgirl-

Offline JarsofPickles

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9055 on: January 30, 2014, 10:03:11 PM »
Teme! By the way, I was with Sausage last night, in case you were wondering where we were. He was great. Not like you.

Peace out.

Offline AmazonArrow

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9056 on: January 30, 2014, 10:13:38 PM »
You've broken up with so many people, everyone seems to know you but me. Clearly you've been seeking something outside of our relationship that I obviously cannot provide. I hope that you find it.

Offline Hyacinth

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9057 on: January 30, 2014, 10:23:08 PM »
Your arrow has pierced my frail heart one to many times. I can't stand this pain anymore.

Offline Ryo242

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9058 on: January 30, 2014, 10:29:05 PM »
-On a note attached to your shoe locker.  Heavily encouraged that the reader imagine a young Japanese voice as the narrator.  Or Fluttershy-

Um... Hello.  I'm too shy to talk with you in person but... I really want to say that I...  I have these feelings inside when I see you... and I... They feel all warm and fuzzy... Like a bunny...  And flying...  I always want to speak up when I see you... to tell you how you make me feel... but I don't know if I can... get the words right.  My throat dries up so much when you say hi to me!  My stomach churns with those wonderful butterfly feelings!  But.. but... -there are streaks on the paper where tears have fallen- I said "I'm sorry!" and ran away... I know you probably never want to see me again, but I wrote my feelings down and left them for you...  I'm sorry I couldn't... -more streaks made from tears-  Confess to you in time... My family is moving away... So this is goodbye...

I love you... (This was written, but crossed out, multiple times until one was finally right and left alone)

Offline Lazaria

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9059 on: January 31, 2014, 01:33:36 AM »
You tried to dissect me on our first date.

On the second date I had to knuckle whip your arse.

Third time and fourth time we've gone out you're obsessed with showing me 'the new native orangutan forest species' whilst holding a scalpel in each hand.

At this rate I'm afraid I'll end up killing you in nineteen different ways before you even get a chance to kill me once. Therefore with much admiration and temerity... I wish thee goodbye.

PS: Your shotgun booby trap in my basement has been disabled and shall be delivered within five working days if UPS does 'tis job right.

Offline Stone

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9060 on: January 31, 2014, 01:59:43 AM »
I told you not to wear red outdoors. Didn't I? We're done.

Offline SunshineSparkle

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9061 on: January 31, 2014, 08:10:32 AM »
I realized we don't know each other that much, better to end everything now.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2014, 10:26:58 AM by SunshineSparkle »

Offline JarsofPickles

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9062 on: January 31, 2014, 08:28:32 AM »
You keep finding reasons to look at boats. But you won't be satisfied with small boats, you want to buy a luxury liner with my money. Forget it.

Offline Rolo

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9063 on: January 31, 2014, 08:47:23 AM »
I can't live with the fact that my pickle is not the only one in your jar...  I must bid you adieu. ..

Offline JarsofPickles

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9064 on: January 31, 2014, 02:09:19 PM »
I'm sick of you letting other people rip off your thong. I didn't want to do this, but see this? There's the ring you gave me. Down the toilet. Bye bye.

Offline Ryo242

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9065 on: January 31, 2014, 07:50:14 PM »
I was told to avoid you so it didn't seem like I was hogging you all the time... But then I found cake.

Delicious cake.

Why was I ever in need of a relationship again?

Offline abandoneddolly

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9066 on: January 31, 2014, 08:08:27 PM »
The cake is a lie...your lying to me.

Offline Ryo242

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9067 on: January 31, 2014, 08:21:04 PM »
The cake is a lie...your lying to me.
You're*.  -Sighs and adjusts glasses- Your grammar isn't the only thing that leaves more to be desired.

So we're through.

Offline Vill

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9068 on: January 31, 2014, 08:47:13 PM »
You come home late at night smelling like a brewery with other women's lipstick on your collar.

My mother was right about you!

I'll send for my things on the marrow.

Offline JarsofPickles

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9069 on: January 31, 2014, 08:51:09 PM »
*Morrow. And you were seeing my jar behind my back! My jar! You'd think you'd at least give me the common courtesy of being with some other jar! I'll be divorcing you on Jerry Springer, if that's even still on.

Offline Vill

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9070 on: January 31, 2014, 08:56:47 PM »
You told me you were a devoted fan of Maury, and only Maury. I can't handle these lies any more: it's like I don't even know you.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2014, 08:58:52 PM by Vill »

Offline Ryo242

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9071 on: January 31, 2014, 10:40:56 PM »
... Wait, when were we going out?
-oblivious breakup-

Offline saphireMARIE

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9072 on: February 01, 2014, 03:43:30 PM »
Darling, I don't see how it is possible for us to even kiss let alone have any kind of fun?
Your a cartoon, I am not.
This is... over.

Offline ChicagoOkie

Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9073 on: February 01, 2014, 07:44:43 PM »
While you are irresistible my dear, I mean that stomach alone I could kiss all day. And, those eyes, my god they are entrancing. That's not even to mention the rest of you...where was this going? Oh yeah, you cheated on me and I just can't take it anymore. Storms out signaling for her to call him.

Offline Nico

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Re: Breakup with the person above you!
« Reply #9074 on: February 02, 2014, 03:36:57 AM »
Dude, you are really awesome and all, but I can't do those kilts any longer. You love those more than me. We are done, kilt man. ;D