Corrupt a wish

[Countdown0]

By pyromaniac, I mean you feel constant, irresistible compulsion to start fires and burn things.

And granted, you have a boat, loaded with gold. The boat is a canoe. You are paddling down river to Texas to deliver the gold to a millionaire mobster, because you lost a bet.

I wish I had a cup of coffee that never ran out, always stayed warm, fresh, and delicious, and small, gross things (such as flies) couldn't get into the coffee.

[Deamonbane]

Granted... and now you can't drink it or else it will lose all of its freshness, and deliciousness... And it just sits there, teasing you...

I wish All my clothes were washed... like, now...

[Countdown0]

Granted, but unfortunately they all shrunk to half their normal size.

I wish I had the most delicious cookie ever.

[possiblejr]

granted, unfortunately Cookie Monster payed you a visit and ate it

I wish i had a solid gold chess set, with white and normal gold

[Countdown0]

Granted. Unfortuantely, the pieces are giant sized and alive. They don't like being made to be played with, so they capture you and 31 of your friends, and make you play and chess pieces for them instead.

I wish the cookie monster hadn't and would not ever again take my cookie from me.

[possiblejr]

granted, you will now offer cookie monster all your cookies, even the ones he's already eaten.
i don't have 31 friends, so they wouldn't get a full chess set, also that might be a fun way to play chess

I wish i  had a katana

[Caremejo]

Granted. You hold an achingly sharp, high-end, traditionally forged Katana. You are also chained with Katana-proof metal links wrapped around your ankle and fastened in place with an unpickable, unbreakable Kryptonite lock to the floor of a small room. There are two doors, one white and the other blood-spattered, but primarily black. You can't quite reach either one. The white door leads to absolute safety. In 30 seconds, the brood-mother from Alien with her many, many children are about to burst through the black door.

I wish my boyfriend didn't have a mother-in-law.

[possiblejr]

Granted he now has two father-in-laws

*gets as close to white door as possible, cuts off legs just above metal links, crawls out door*

I wish i had some lemonade

[Deamonbane]

Granted... however, too much lemon, and too little sugar have made it acid, and it goes off in minutes... hope you enjoy it :P

I wish I could rest this Sunday...

[possiblejr]

granted, you got into a bad crash and you were hospitalized, you'll be resting for a few Sundays

i wish i had the skills and knowledge to make swords from scratch, (like a blacksmith)

[Deamonbane]

Granted... but while working the forge, your house catches on fire, and you DIE! (every gasp, now)

I wish I could fly...

[possiblejr]

Granted, you have the knowledge how to fly any airplane, but you are now blind

i wish i had a puppy, that looked like my old dog when she was a puppy

[MelisaArtemis]

Granted but its male and loves to hump EVERYTHING

I wish I can have a genuine autograph by Kajiura Yuki

[Countdown0]

Granted, but the autograph is tattooed onto your cheek, and it got infected.

I wish I had a real functioning lightsaber.

[Deamonbane]

Granted... however, now you have loped your arms off while showing your new lightsaber off to your friends...

I wish I could wield the dark side of the force....*Sidious impression*

[Ritsu]

Granted, but now you're all old, wrinkly, and feeble, just like him.

I wish I didn't want or need sleep to survive.

[Deamonbane]

Granted, and now you are a zombie...*pumps shotgun*

I wish people would drop the zombie subject forever...

[Undeniable Sin]

Granted. In it's place all anyone talks about are sparkling vampires!

I wish a hot guy would come into my life and excite me.

[Deamonbane]

Granted... a man was doused in gasoline, and set on fire, and now your life exciting, trying to keep him from burning your house down...

I wish sparkly vampires would die... all of them!

[Countdown0]

Granted. All of the sparkly vampires were killed by Blade. Unfortuantely, Edward from Twilight bit you before he died, making you a sparkly vampire as well. Now Blade is coming after you.

I wish I had my arms back. Typing with my nose is hard work :P

[possiblejr]

granted, but you lost your motor control and must relearn how to use them

i wish i could shape shift

[Countdown0]

Harsh >.< Oh well, maybe this time I can learn to be ambidexterous! :D:D:D

Granted. You can now take any form of an animal, plant or other living thing that you have already seen. However, your physical mass remains unchanged. This means you can be a really small elephant, or a really big bacteria :p Also, every time you change, you feel the physical pain that would realistically come with such a rapid change in your physical anatomy, and you will usually pass out in the middle of your transformation.

I wish I was ambidexterous.

[possiblejr]

granted you can use both right and left hands equally well, but are always punching yourself in the gut, or crotch

i wish i had a full size replica of the Thousand Sunny from one piece

[Countdown0]

Granted... but its on fire!

I wish I was invincible, so all this punching myself in the gut and crotch wouldn't hurt.

[Ritsu]

Granted, you're so invincible that not even your own body can break down your cells so you have a gross layer of dead skin building up everywhere.

I wish I had fresh pineapple.