Control issues (ps1998 and AAA111)

[BigNRich]

"Jeez, what did I do now?"

David sat alone in his apartment asking himself this question over and over again. Kelsey was angry at him again; this was their second major fight in their six-month relationship. Two months earlier, Kelsey had blown up at him for making contact with an ex-girlfriend of his from two years earlier online.

"Amanda and I were just catching up!" he had said. "I hadn't talked with her in two years! And she's engaged to Roy--why on earth would I even THINK of trying to get back together with her?"

"I don't know! Why don't you tell me that?!" Kelsey had raged back. "And why didn't you tell me? Why did I have to find out from her when I saw her post on your Facebook page?"

"'Hey Dave, nice chatting with you'?" David had asked. "How does that imply any kind of affair?"

The two had seemingly moved past it when Kelsey finally dropped the issue. But now, David had angered Kelsey again when he had backed out of a lunch date. He had been getting over the flu and was still feeling very exhausted, but Kelsey didn't buy his excuse.

"I suppose you're getting together with AMANDA again, aren't you?" she said in an angry e-mail. "Or do you just not want to be with me anymore? I really wish you'd be honest with me!  >:( "

This was a day earlier, and she hadn't contacted him since. David had replied to her e-mail and begged her to forgive him, but no response. Now, David was wondering if all the drama and stress was truly worth it. He knew that this relationship couldn't continue as it was, or else it would end in either a disastrous breakup or with him having a nervous breakdown--or possibly both.

But at the same time, he loved Kelsey with all his heart. Besides Amanda, she was really the only woman who he truly felt comfortable with. She had always tolerated his awkwardness and insecurity while many other women looked at him as a hopeless loser--or worse, "just a friend". Plus, at six months, his relationship with Kelsey was his longest-ever with anybody. And they had many good times, and many common interests.

David decided that, since e-mailing didn't work, he'd give her a call. He picked up the phone and dialed Kelsey's number.

As the phone rang, David's heart began pounding. What was going to happen? Were they going to repair things? Or would Kelsey explode on him again?

"Hello?" she suddenly answered.

"Hi, it's me," David replied.

[AAA111]

Ever since she started dating David she has felt like maybe she is not good enough for this guy. SHe really likes him but she tends to control guys. It is like a security thing for her. She doesn't mean to do it but she just does. She does this because her last 3 boyfriends cheated on her with their ex-girlfriends and she is just scared of being hurt again. She really really likes David. She hasn't like someone this much in a very long time.

She sees david's name come up on the caller id as she picks up her phone.

"Oh um hi." She says not sure what to say in reply back to him.

[BigNRich]

There was an awkward pause. "How... how are you?" David asked.

"Fine," was Kelsey's reply.

Another long pause. "Kelsey I'm sorry about cancelling out on you," David stammered. "I've just... been so worn out with this flu bug. I mean, I could barely pull myself out of bed a few days ago. And I still just feel really out of it. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I really am. But I'm not hiding anything from you."

Before Kelsey could respond, David interrupted. "And you're right--I should have told you right away that I had chatted with Amanda. But I had no idea that it had upset you so much. But I should have remembered that things like that upset you. I completely understand how you feel. I made a mistake and I'm sorry--it will NEVER happen again."

As he said it, he wondered to himself, "Why am I apologizing? NOTHING HAPPENED with me and Amanda! I'm sick with the flu and you're accusing me of having an affair?!"

But, at the same time, he was scared to death that Kelsey would turn her back on him again--this time forever. Before he'd called her, he was feeling somewhat unsure about his relationship with her. But just the fact that she was willing to even take his call showed him that she had not completely cut him out of her life. David was now willing to do just about anything to save their relationship.

[AAA111]

She sighs as she answers.

"I don't know what I get like this. I don't know why I constantly think that every guy I am with is going to cheat on me. I know that you are different from all of them. You are a true sweet amazing guy and I push you away and someday that pushing away will be the final straw and I will lose the most important thing that has come into my life in so long. It's just I've seen pictures of her and she is gorgeous and well I guess I just got scared."

She leans back on her bed as thoughts go through her head "Why am I trying to sabotage this relationship..I'm starting to fall in love with him and soon I will be pushing him away and if I keep doing this he will eventually cheat on me."

"And about lunch it is okay..I thought you were cheating on me or something. I had no idea you were sick. You never even told me that " I answer back.

Sits quietly at her desk as she tells him all her thoughts.

[BigNRich]

David sat nervously and listened to Kelsey. He was relieved that their conversation hadn't turned into a nasty shouting match. At the same time, though, he was pretty sure that she had known about him being sick. Oh well, maybe she forgot. He wasn't about to correct her; things were going so well now, and he didn't want to light her already-short fuse again.

"Kelsey, what happened with me and Amanda is in the past," he said. "I love you--and I would NEVER see another woman behind your back. You don't deserve to be treated that way, and I would never do that to you."

"Look," he added. "Let's get together for dinner tomorrow night at Rudy's. I'll pick you up at whatever time works best for you. And hey, I'll pay for the meal; you order whatever you want!" David knew this wasn't very smart financially; his rent money was tight and a single plate at Rudy's typically ran between 20 and 30 bucks. Plus, a couple weeks earlier, David had bought Kelsey a $50 jacket after she had gone into a period of depression following a fight with one of her best friends. Money was tight, but when it came to Kelsey, the price tag was worth it.

[AAA111]

I smile as he offers to buy me dinner tomorrow night but she doesn't want him spending all of that money on her when he should be saving it especially after what a jerk and a horrible girlfriend she was to him. She does love him alot.

"You are sure you and amanda are in the past and that I am your future?" I ask just wanting to make sure that is what he means.

"Dinner sounds good..I have class from 9-2 then i work 3-7. So anytime after that. And no you don't need to pay for dinner. I know how tight money is with you. Especially after that insanely gorgeous jacket you bought me a few weeks ago. I know you need to watch what you spend so I can pay or we do our own paying. I don't want to be taking advantage of you" I say as I lean back in my chair smiling liking the way this conversation is going.

[BigNRich]

"Ok," David said. He was pleased with how things had been going as well. "I'll pick you up at 9:00. And don't worry about taking advantage of me; I insist!"

[AAA111]

"David you don't need to pay for me. I know that money is tight. There is no need to be doing extra to pay for me. I will see you tomorrow night at 9" she tells him.

[BigNRich]

The next night, David raced back to his apartment after getting off of work and began getting ready for his date with Kelsey. He washed his hair, changed into a formal dark blue pullover sweater and formal black pants, and looked at himself in the mirror.

He was satisfied with his appearance. No pimples, no blemishes, no scars, nothing--hopefully--that would turn off Kelsey. Hopefully everything would go off without a hitch tonight and things would be back to normal between them.

It was about 7:30, still pretty early. Kelsey would have frowned on him arriving too early before she was ready. So he went online and chatted with his sister, Jackie, for a short while. "I'm ready but i'm really nervous. I hope it goes well tonight." he said.

"You'll do fine hon," she said back. "She's the one who needs to give you a chance. I know everything will go ok."

At about 8:30, David signed off. He texted Kelsey and told her that he was on his way. "Ok. I'm ready." was the response.

David headed over to Kelsey's apartment and got there in about ten minutes. When he arrived, he saw her standing outside waiting for him.

[AAA111]

She was standing on the sidewalk waiting for him wearing a long sleeve red t-shirt with a pair of long black pants with my black purse. I hardly ever use a purse so it is a miracle when I do. As you park the car I walk closer to the car that  I am always so used to getting it. I walk over to the door and get in the car

"Hey handsome" I say smiling over at you as I get in and buckle my belt

[BigNRich]

"Hey hon!" David said, smiling brightly at his girlfriend. The two exchanged a brief peck on the lips before heading off to Rudy's in David's car.

[AAA111]

I look over at you grinning
"By the way we don't have to go to rudy's tonight..we can go to wendy's or somewhere else that is less money. By the way you clean up good"
I say grinning wide from ear to ear.

[BigNRich]

"Oh..." David was kind of surprised by Kelsey's suggestion of going to Wendy's. But, hey, he loved Wendy's too. Plus it WOULD be a lot cheaper. "Sure, that sounds good. Thanks; I'm glad you like the sweater. You look great too." He gave her a wide, loving smile. So far, so good...

BUZZZZZZZZZZ.... *ching*

It was a text message on his cell phone.

[AAA111]

"It is just nice having a date night with my wonderful and amazing boyfriend. Oh your phones ringing babe" I say as I look over at you grinning.

Hoping that tonight is going to be a really fun night.

[BigNRich]

"Uh-oh..." David thought. He was pretty sure it was his sister, Jackie, just saying hi. (She and Kelsey were about the only ones who texted him on a regular basis.) He was a bit relieved that Kelsey had reacted so calmly to his phone going off; after the blowup over Amanda earlier that week, he was worried that she may have snatched the phone right out of his pocket and smacked him in the head with it.

When they got to a red light, he checked the message. Sure enough, it was Jackie: "Just saying hi. Hope everything goes well tonight! Im watching the Survivor finale."

"Just my sister," David said with a nervous chuckle. "She just wanted to say hi."

[AAA111]

"Oh good 'ol Jackie. So that relieved sigh what were you expecting a call from your other girlfriend" she says looking at him trying not to laugh.

She looked over at him. She was trying to be more understanding and not so jealous. She is a very jealous girlfriend. Always has been and probably always will.

[BigNRich]

David snickered and rolled his eyes. "No, no; Amanda's not going to call me." He then stammered and worried that he'd said the wrong thing. "I mean, Amanda's not my girlfriend. Like I said, we hadn't talked in two years until a couple months ago. She doesn't even have my cell phone number." He began to sweat.

[AAA111]

I look over at you
"David I need you to be honest with me..did you contact her or did she contact you and what did you talk about?" I ask wondering what the conversation was about. Wondering if I have any need at all to worry.

She did not get mad about the comment he just mad. SHe is really trying hard to be more forgiving and loving and a lot less jealous. She wants to be a good girlfriend to him.

[BigNRich]

David's heart was pounding. But he knew the only thing he could do was be honest. "I was just searching for random people who I knew from years ago on Facebook and I saw Amanda, so I added her as a friend and she accepted my friend request. We just started chatting and talking about old times. I knew right away that she was engaged; she said it right on her profile. We were just catching up; that's all. She talked about Roy and she said he's a great guy, and she's really happy with him. And I told her about you, and I told her that I'm very happy with you. And we just talked about other little things. That was all; I don't think we even discussed the time we dated."

He nervously looked back at Kelsey.

[AAA111]

"So absolutely nothing about getting back together with her or getting together with here for dinner or a movie or anything?" she asks. Her last few boyfriends cheated on her by chatting up the ex-girlfriends on facebook then meeting them for dinner or whatever and she is just scared.

She looks over at him with a scared look on her face.

[BigNRich]

"We didn't even suggest getting together," David said as he pulled into the parking lot at Wendy's. "I don't think Roy would have been very happy about that." He laughed softly. Roy was about twice David's size--so needless to say, if he'd known that David was hanging with his future wife, it would not have been pretty.

"We're here, hon," David said, touching Kelsey's hand and smiling.

[AAA111]

I look at you as I nod and hold your hand for a few minutes before i decide to get out of the car. I walk to the front of the car waiting for you. Wanting to hold your hand but not wanting to initiate it. She looks at you and smiles at you. She thinks about how this guy really is different than the rest of the them and how happy she is about that.

[BigNRich]

David felt a sense of warmth and relief flow through his body. He took Kelsey's hand and walked with her across the parking lot to the front door.

[AAA111]

She smiles up at him as she holds onto his hand assuringly as she leans her head on his shoulder as they walk. Once they get to the door they walk inside and they both look at the menu trying to decide what they want to order. They are still holding hands.

[BigNRich]

"The Baconator looks good," David said. "What would you like, hon?"