An untitled poem by Twisted Crow

Started by Twisted Crow, October 28, 2013, 08:47:14 PM

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Twisted Crow

Apologies if this is the wrong place for this. Neither Storytelling or Off-
topic seem like gauranteed fits for this so I made my best guess. If it has to be moved, I apologize. :)
The name was changed from one of my names to a different one; Isaac. This isn't quite my best. It's been a while, so I ran with something simple.

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I wade through this water
Waves push me to falter.
Pulling me away from the altar,
It grins hollow as I saunter.

Heart sinks into tears deep
As I toss and turn in my sleep
Here lies '[Isaac] the Meek'
"Grievor of Hearts" -- His name to keep.

None are deserved as 'Hero'
In this near-absence of ego.
Despite what remains here though,
The soul tires of "polite, friendly foes."

Eyes fade and this tongue; stayed
This is the life he had waged.
This light burning out in the rain;
So 'Love' forgets to scribe this page.

Lo, hear this heart bleat
Within my spirit; its seat!
In a hollow age of disbelief,
What is my crime to earn this grief?

Is this mine, the end of my line?
A stray thread unwoven through time.
Feeling reluctant to writhe;
A hungry heart within a fugitive mind.

This mask which I wear,
Is this too much to bear?
The weak heart beats fair,
Although it remains a vacant affair.

Eyes burning to fight,
Yet frantic from fright.
To a world callous in his sight,
Alone -- Will I perish this night?'

Tesaka Fyrewolf

I really like how you were able to keep a good meter/pace and rhyming scheme as well as the vivid imagery that comes with it. It's not a style I get to see very much of these days and it's a refreshing change from what I usually see elsewhere!

A few images do feel a little too common like wading through water and hearts/tears but they're still very well done and placed. Overall though beautiful work!

Marchoisas

Descriptive, haunting, and evocative; I loved it!

Not many guys are into song-vriting, but those who are, and whose song can touch me like this... automatic points in my eyes!  :-*
Danger only makes things more fun!

Reached my limit of active RPs, so... efective now, I'm no longer available for more RPs until further update. Sorry peeps!

Twisted Crow