Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View

[Imogen]

Anyone ever felt so bad that they didn't want to talk about it? ...Wait, of course y'all have.

*has been feeling like that for three days*

Still don't want to talk about it, but if I don't get something out, something bad could happen... I don't want that.

*hugs everyone*

Hope y'all have a good day.

Yeah. Know the feeling and learned the hard way to never, ever address friends about depression or the problems related with it. It's like having two sides of the coin equally dark. Either it bottles up inside, or the people around you go like "ewww, you were thinking..what?" or "omg, you -faked- enjoying yourself? Do you have any idea how insulting that is?"

It's another thumbs up for E, giving those who need it a safe place to rant or admit to depression.

[infynite]

If I ( as a newcomer ) may have my say;

I dealt with depression for a long time, and it was getting the better of me very quickly. I of course, hid it from everyone that was important or special to me, and let it eat away at me for years.

I knew and understood then ( as I do now ) that it is nothing more than a chemical balance in your body that causes it, but at the same time, I didn't have the will to fight it.

It took a spider bite, a few days in hospital, and a bunch of really cool drugs to pull me out of it, and I can now say that I am completely cured of my depression spiral, though I still get a few days of "down-time" as I've started calling it, every month.

The best advice I can give ( but could never take ) is to eat better, excersize, and smile as much as you can.

Like many others here, this will be the first time I'm sharing this publically ( if anonymously ), but I felt the urge to, after reading some of the other posters.

[Sybl]

If I ( as a newcomer ) may have my say;

I dealt with depression for a long time, and it was getting the better of me very quickly. I of course, hid it from everyone that was important or special to me, and let it eat away at me for years.

I knew and understood then ( as I do now ) that it is nothing more than a chemical balance in your body that causes it, but at the same time, I didn't have the will to fight it.

It took a spider bite, a few days in hospital, and a bunch of really cool drugs to pull me out of it, and I can now say that I am completely cured of my depression spiral, though I still get a few days of "down-time" as I've started calling it, every month.

The best advice I can give ( but could never take ) is to eat better, excersize, and smile as much as you can.

Like many others here, this will be the first time I'm sharing this publically ( if anonymously ), but I felt the urge to, after reading some of the other posters.

Welcome infynite,

For some, it is a chemical imbalance, for others, it could be many other factors. We are not the same, we are individuals, each unique.

My depression stems from abuse, several forms, some I will not post here as it is too public. Being a split personality is not a chemical imbalance nor is it a disease.
I am glad you are cured, you are indeed a very blessed  person. I am truly happy when I hear someone has over come.

I eat properly, smile and encourage many when I can. Exercise however is walking a quarter mile, at most, coming home and crashing due to the pain in my spine. Not all "cures" are for every one. :-) I wish I could do the things I used to do, these are one of several that cause my depression. Being able to walk, run, swim and go sailing or canoeing, all past for me. A drunk driver saw to that.

Just pointing out, infynite, that not all have "clinical depression"

:-) have a wonderful day *hugs*

Sybl

[infynite]

Welcome infynite,

For some, it is a chemical imbalance, for others, it could be many other factors. We are not the same, we are individuals, each unique.

My depression stems from abuse, several forms, some I will not post here as it is too public. Being a split personality is not a chemical imbalance nor is it a disease.
I am glad you are cured, you are indeed a very blessed  person. I am truly happy when I hear someone has over come.

I eat properly, smile and encourage many when I can. Exercise however is walking a quarter mile, at most, coming home and crashing due to the pain in my spine. Not all "cures" are for every one. :-) I wish I could do the things I used to do, these are one of several that cause my depression. Being able to walk, run, swim and go sailing or canoeing, all past for me. A drunk driver saw to that.

Just pointing out, infynite, that not all have "clinical depression"

:-) have a wonderful day *hugs*

Sybl

You're quite right, I probably should have been more specific that it was my case that I had self-diagnosed as a chemical issue ( Since I had no real factors that would lead to it. )

I hope that you find a miracle cure in the most unexpected place, like I did. Otherwise, I'm certain that there are a lot of people here that will do what they can to help out. ( Myself included )

Look after yourself, and thanks for the reply  :-) *hugs*

~Infy

[Sybl]

You're quite right, I probably should have been more specific that it was my case that I had self-diagnosed as a chemical issue ( Since I had no real factors that would lead to it. )

I hope that you find a miracle cure in the most unexpected place, like I did. Otherwise, I'm certain that there are a lot of people here that will do what they can to help out. ( Myself included )

Look after yourself, and thanks for the reply  :-) *hugs*

~Infy

Thank you Infy :-)
It has been quite a ride since I joined E and started posting here. Everyone looks out for each other. Approved or not. This is where we congregate for hugs, to post our down times, support, or drop off an encouraging word  Once a new member gets their approval, PM's help a lot, I for one, encourage it as do many here. Hugs are good even when you don't feel bad. :-)
I accept your hugs and share one back.

*Leaves hugs for all who want and need them today*

[Rhedyn]

First of all *big hugs* for everyone I've missed since taking my break.

Before doing it I had been sinking deeper and deeper into a particularly bad and long bout of depression which was then made a hundred times worse by the actions and total disregard towards my feelings of my current partner. As many of you will know he was going away for a month and he rather nicely decided to tell me (after I explained to him how bad I was feeling at the time - suicidally bad this time round) that he was thinking of doing humanitarian work abroad and leaving me in order to do it.

Compacting this is with several things that have happened since and I have been in a very low place. I did what I always do, shut myself off from everyone and for that I am sorry. I have since tried to reach out to a couple of people, two have been there for me, one decided that given my state of mind it would be an ideal time to attempt to manipulate me into jealousy and show me his real colours. I at least found the good sense to cut the conversation this time round instead of wallowing in what he was attempting to do to me.

And so this week is crunch time. One way or another this situation is going to be resolved this week. I'm so sick of being used by people, allowing them to hurt me so badly. I can't love halfway or do the casual thing, I've opened myself up and made myself vulnerable for the first time since my marriage ended and I'm begining to think what's the point of letting people in anymore when they trample all over you, keep massive secrets from you and treat you like rubbish then say you're the one that is being unreasonable for complaining about it.

I guess that's the end of my rant for now, it's really only the tip of the iceburg but I'm drained and just can't write about it anymore. I hope you are all doing better than I have been or at least have had some pleasant highs to help you deal with the lows.

[Sybl]

First of all *big hugs* for everyone I've missed since taking my break.

Before doing it I had been sinking deeper and deeper into a particularly bad and long bout of depression which was then made a hundred times worse by the actions and total disregard towards my feelings of my current partner. As many of you will know he was going away for a month and he rather nicely decided to tell me (after I explained to him how bad I was feeling at the time - suicidally bad this time round) that he was thinking of doing humanitarian work abroad and leaving me in order to do it.

Compacting this is with several things that have happened since and I have been in a very low place. I did what I always do, shut myself off from everyone and for that I am sorry. I have since tried to reach out to a couple of people, two have been there for me, one decided that given my state of mind it would be an ideal time to attempt to manipulate me into jealousy and show me his real colours. I at least found the good sense to cut the conversation this time round instead of wallowing in what he was attempting to do to me.

And so this week is crunch time. One way or another this situation is going to be resolved this week. I'm so sick of being used by people, allowing them to hurt me so badly. I can't love halfway or do the casual thing, I've opened myself up and made myself vulnerable for the first time since my marriage ended and I'm begining to think what's the point of letting people in anymore when they trample all over you, keep massive secrets from you and treat you like rubbish then say you're the one that is being unreasonable for complaining about it.

I guess that's the end of my rant for now, it's really only the tip of the iceburg but I'm drained and just can't write about it anymore. I hope you are all doing better than I have been or at least have had some pleasant highs to help you deal with the lows.

Super big hugs Rhedyn,
I wish I was closer miles wise. I would hug you personally. My heart and good thoughts go out to you. I am so sorry you are going through this bad thing right now. I hope for you only good and beautiful things.

*hugs you tight*

[Ariabella]

*Hugs to all, esp. Rhedyn & Sybl*

Things are much the same here on my end. I know for many it is a chemical imbalance, but I think mine is, in part, due to a lot of emotional abuse. It seems like everyone who winds up in my RL is emotionally abusive in some form or another towards me and I end up feeling very beaten down. My so-called friend here who likes to come visit not only is verbally abusive, the other day we were were watching a movie and she kept slapping at/pinching/flicking etc at me.

When co-workers were trying to set me up with someone (which ended up going nowhere after one trip out together), I finally told them, look, why would I want someone when it will be just one more person to abuse me? And this is why, in RL at least, I'm no longer letting anyone in. Most days I'm simply left wondering why I'm even here because I seem to serve no purpose, know nothing and can do nothing. Right now I'm so down that even reading is not an escape. And I was looking forward to the August NaNoWriMo but I'm so beaten down I don't have a creative thought in my mind.

I can't even stand going to work any longer as my bosses (at least one of which I can guarantee is mentally unbalanced) as decided to cuss me, tell me everything I do is wrong and try to treat me like the store slave while others sit around talking and ignoring customers. However, since there is no law against being an ass, the actions are not something I can take to court and the only advice I get is to find a new job. Like I haven't been trying, especially since going back after surgery to my hours being drastically cut. My one co-worker is also being treated this way, but since she has actual support in her life it doesn't get her as down. All I get from my so-called support is "Do you like anybody? You get tired of working everywhere." Well, yeah, when every job ends up with people being verbally abusive, it's hard to like your job. I work my ass off and feel like I'm doing a good job, organize things so customers can find them and it gets torn down in store (and verbally) so why would I put out any effort? I still think a mountain top in Madagascar with the lemurs is the place to be.

[Sybl]

*Hugs to all, esp. Rhedyn & Sybl*

Things are much the same here on my end. I know for many it is a chemical imbalance, but I think mine is, in part, due to a lot of emotional abuse. It seems like everyone who winds up in my RL is emotionally abusive in some form or another towards me and I end up feeling very beaten down. My so-called friend here who likes to come visit not only is verbally abusive, the other day we were were watching a movie and she kept slapping at/pinching/flicking etc at me.

When co-workers were trying to set me up with someone (which ended up going nowhere after one trip out together), I finally told them, look, why would I want someone when it will be just one more person to abuse me? And this is why, in RL at least, I'm no longer letting anyone in. Most days I'm simply left wondering why I'm even here because I seem to serve no purpose, know nothing and can do nothing. Right now I'm so down that even reading is not an escape. And I was looking forward to the August NaNoWriMo but I'm so beaten down I don't have a creative thought in my mind.

I can't even stand going to work any longer as my bosses (at least one of which I can guarantee is mentally unbalanced) as decided to cuss me, tell me everything I do is wrong and try to treat me like the store slave while others sit around talking and ignoring customers. However, since there is no law against being an ass, the actions are not something I can take to court and the only advice I get is to find a new job. Like I haven't been trying, especially since going back after surgery to my hours being drastically cut. My one co-worker is also being treated this way, but since she has actual support in her life it doesn't get her as down. All I get from my so-called support is "Do you like anybody? You get tired of working everywhere." Well, yeah, when every job ends up with people being verbally abusive, it's hard to like your job. I work my ass off and feel like I'm doing a good job, organize things so customers can find them and it gets torn down in store (and verbally) so why would I put out any effort? I still think a mountain top in Madagascar with the lemurs is the place to be.

*hugs Ariabella*

I don't know the area where you work, but yes, it may be against the law to treat employees with abuse. I would check that out. (Having been in business myself, been an employer I can say yours is walking a thin line.)
Abuse and harassment are very closely related. Check with the Labor laws in your area. If you and others report such abusive tactics, your employer could be heavily penalized for his or her actions. I hope you will research this. No one has the right to abuse another. Verbally or otherwise.

[Ariabella]

I had called a lawyer on a previous boss who was reprehensible. No, he didn't cuss me, but he harassed everyone in the store except those he didn't want to leave. I had always had glowing evaluations previous to him but when he called me in for mine he said "I was going to give you a bad review but they went over your reports at one of my meetings and yours are always clean so I couldn't." Ver batim what he told me. Because he felt I didn't do anything because I didn't sit there an announce what I was doing like a person who worked for me. They would sit there going "Oh I've finished this, now I have to do that. That's finished, now I have to do this." Between her cigarette breaks and when she actually managed to show up for work. I sat quietly doing my work (and his). The lawyer said he was reprehensible but there was no law against being an ass.

When I was moving out of the area, he refused to let me work out my notice. Literally. I went in one day and he would not even allow me in the store, said he'd have someone pack up my desk and bring my things to my house. He told people at corporate that I was a horrible person because I didn't include a new hire in something we had won as office of the month (that she'd done nothing to earn). And I'm pretty sure he marked me as a no-rehire when I'd done nothing wrong.

When I've had enough, I'm pretty certain I have enough to have the fire marshal and OSHA take my current bosses down...because no matter how horrible they are, you can bet no one will back you up when you try to do anything. Well, maybe a former co-worker who went against them at unemployment.

Oh yes. When I came back from medical leave to slashed hours, I tried filing for partial unemployment. The boss lied to them and told them I requested to have my hours cut to stay on Medicaid (which I don't even have) and food stamps. I have never said anything like that in my life. When I went for the OVR appointment, I told the counselor there that  they lied. They also told customers that they cut my and my co-workers hours because "They didn't want to work." Like I took a month off for a joy-ride, but that's right, they didn't think I should have the surgery either.

Several customers commented that they wanted to find out how I was doing, but they decided to wait until I came back because they were afraid to ask. When a previous co-worker left, they spent all of their time accusing her (not to her face) of stealing...program CD's, money etc.  They might not have lost their program CD's if they were somewhat organized.

D & I suspect this whole game (there's always lots of games and drama where I work) is because they want us gone so they can bring the son back. Yes. The son who has stolen from them, probably was the one who stole the money and the one who's mother-in-law kicked him, wife, and 2 kids out for stealing.

[Rhedyn]

*hugs Sybl and Ariabella and sends lots of positive energy*

[Oreo]

I'm too worn today for anything but offering hugs to those in need. My heart goes out to you all *hugs*

[Night Stalker]

Leaves HUGS, positive energy and thoughts for all...

[Sybl]

*hugs Sybl and Ariabella and sends lots of positive energy*

I'm too worn today for anything but offering hugs to those in need. My heart goes out to you all *hugs*

Leaves HUGS, positive energy and thoughts for all...

Accepts..all hugs, leaves hugs, and a tiny rant..

If I don't find a way to sleep soon.........you might hear a blood curdling scream across the globe..it will be me..I have tried everything.......

In 9 days I have slept an hour or two at most, 2 times at most a day..  >:( Yikes, enough already..

thinking I should go for a long walk, leave here, walk to Canada or something..maybe I need a new place to live.. any takers? :P (not serious)

[Athos]

Come to Canada, we can scream together :D

[Sybl]

Come to Canada, we can scream together :D

:D On my way........ ;)

[Anjasa]

Mrrr, some days it is just so hard to wake up and go to work.

Hugs all around :)

[Sybl]

Mrrr, some days it is just so hard to wake up and go to work.

Hugs all around :)

*Hugs you back* Anjasa :)

*Leaves warm snuggly hugs and a laugh for all*

[Imogen]

**supportive hugs to all of ya! and sings a lullaby for Sybl.**

Meds kicked in and sun is shining. And to top it all off, my new shoes arrived. Today is an up-day for me :-D

[Sybl]

**supportive hugs to all of ya! and sings a lullaby for Sybl.**

Meds kicked in and sun is shining. And to top it all off, my new shoes arrived. Today is an up-day for me :-D

Thank you so much Imogen,

Glad to hear your day is going well. *hugs*

[Ariabella]

Mrrr, some days it is just so hard to wake up and go to work.

Hugs all around :)

*hugs* I can totally relate.

[Harley]

I think this is largely due to my depression, but I am officially bored.  I don't have the motivation to paint right now...  And I'm just really bored and it is driving me nuts.

I want something fun to do.   

[Sybl]

I think this is largely due to my depression, but I am officially bored.  I don't have the motivation to paint right now...  And I'm just really bored and it is driving me nuts.

I want something fun to do.   

*Hugs* Zilzilii.

Are their any craft shows, art shows, fairs, anything like that around you?
Besides painting, think of other things that bring enjoyment.. bake a cake and give it away. (Sorry, that's what I do) to me that is fun :)

[Harley]

*Hugs* Zilzilii.

Are their any craft shows, art shows, fairs, anything like that around you?
Besides painting, think of other things that bring enjoyment.. bake a cake and give it away. (Sorry, that's what I do) to me that is fun :)

Part of the problem is that I don't want to go out of the house.  Especially if it involves me spending money.   And I don't really want to bake or make a mess.   

I know this is depression now because now the sadness is swallowing me up.   Bored and being unhappy is not a good mix.   

[Anjasa]

Yea, I find I just have to /force/ myself to do something when I'm bored.

When I'm laid off from work, I actually have to work at least once or twice a week at a part time job in order to be sane at home, otherwise I just don't do anything and flail around the house.

Also, in June we had 4 days of sun. July, we had 6. August? So far? 0.

No wonder I'm feeling logy lately and like I don't want to work. Well, that and being micromanaged and treated like a kid. Probably both XD