A Love Lost and Found (Azrael Annavianna and AAA111)

Started by AAA111, September 18, 2010, 11:19:22 PM

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Azrael Annavianna

(Doghouse?  Oh man, like I haven't been there before, lol.  I am an expert at getting out of those)

He texts back having got off of work about twenty minutes early, "I will pick you up ok?"  He continues with the text, "Stop worrying so much,...you're frowning."  He knew her mind was in overdrive, but he didn't know if she even cared still or if she was just humoring him.  The guy friend worried him, though, he didn't like competition.  He wanted Madison, but he messed up and she might not even think of him anymore with this guy friend.  Had she given up her virginity to him?  He didn't even want to think of that right now.  He needed to fix them before worrying about that stuff.  His heart was beating again and he wanted to continue that.
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

(Haha..I like the drama factor but that gets solved. I love it)

She sees her phone vibrate as she nods and texts back. "Sounds good. Thanks. I'm not worrying and I'm not frowning. I'm fine. I'm super chill" She clicks send. She is super nervous and freaked out about what is going to happen. She still cares very deeply for him and she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to put her heart out there again and get hurt. The past 6 months have been torture. She felt like half of her heart was gone and she couldn't get it back. She was terribly confused.

Azrael Annavianna

He looks at his cell and reads grinning.  He moved swiftly through the traffic and sped to the place that his future awaited.  Six months without her; six months of loneliness.  He wasn't about to let that happen again.  He had to tell her that and he would.  He finally stopped outside for her at the front door and honked his horn.  She had one minute to get off of work, yet he couldn't help but let her know he was waiting for her already.  I am gonna be understanding and apologetic, he thought to himself.
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

Kristin gathered up all of her work clothes and she grabbed her purse as she headed out to the car to see him. Very nervous about everything. She wasn't sure how this would exactly turn out but she had to at least try. She gets to his car and she opens the car door and opens in the front passenger seat.

She looks over at him thinking he still looks as cute as ever maybe cuter. "Hi" She says to him.

Azrael Annavianna

He smiles as she gets into his truck.  He helps her in and closes the door when she gets settled.  He gets in the driver's seat and wants to kiss her, but restrains himself.  He can't act like nothing happened, though, he'd like too.  "Hey," he smiled back and answered her greeting.  Looking at her he gives her the first of many steps on the road of redemption.  "You haven't changed; your still as beautiful as ever," he needed to establish himself in a strong position.
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

She grinned at him and then quickly shook her head alerting him that even though they were getting dinner together he was still in the doghouse. "Thank you and you don't look too bad yourself." She smiled. He was always so cute and adorable. She looked at him wondering what he was up to these days. Wondering if he found anyone. Hoping in the back of her mind that maybe just maybe they could possibly be back together. She was really scared to put her heart out there again.

Azrael Annavianna

Realizing he has had the proverbial face palm on his skills he starts the truck and pulls off.  He looks over to Madison and asks, "Where is your favorite place to go, now-a-days?"  He thinks about it, "Food wise, angel?"  He realizes that that slipped out and looks over with an apologetic look.  He looks at her wondering who her mystery man was trying to move in on his would-be-girlfriend.
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

"Well me and one of my guy friends tried out this place down the road and it was really good. It was so burger/pizza place. It is pretty good but honestly I'm up for anything. I'm very chill. Whatever." She says to him as she shrugs her shoulders. She smiles at him still having a special place in her heart for him. That is one thing that will never change. He was her first and only love you can't just turn off feelings for someone like that. She couldn't and she didn't.

Azrael Annavianna

He nodded understanding and commented, "It's called Arturo's, right?"  He was a little irritated that a guy friend and her were hanging out.  He would have to find out who this guy is.  "You always were chill Madison, but I want you to be cool with where you go."  He tried subtlety to bring it up, but like tact, subtlety was not a forte, "Who's this mystery guy friend who has stolen your heart?"  He practically kicked himself after that spilled from his lips.
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

"Yeah Arturo's. I really like it there. They have really good pizza and wings. I like it there. So let's head over there tonight." She looked over at him as she gave him a little grin. "I am super cool with this restaraunt Hayden but thanks for making sure." She looked at him weird when he asked who the guy friend was. She gave him a two word answer. "Mike Ranchonski". Mike was one of his former frat brothers.

Azrael Annavianna

He looked at her with a sinister look of 'thank you.'  The look disappeared the second it had appeared and he drove to Arturo's.  "Madison, I need to tell you," he started to say as he helped out of the truck when they arrived, "I am sorry about my idiocy.  I made a mistake that hurt you and I made an anus of myself."  He looked at her so she could see that he was truly sorry.
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

She sighed as he apologized to her but she looked at up him and realized that he was truly 100% sorry for what he did. "I know you are sorry but I don't know if that is enough. God Hayden I loved you for soooo long but you broke my heart. You know I thought you were the one I'd be with forever but now I'm not so sure. " She shrugged as she got out of the truck and slammed the door waiting for him.

Azrael Annavianna

He looks at her with puppy dog eyes, "I need to know that I have a chance to crawl out of this doghouse Madison."  He gets out and walks up to her taking her lightly by the shoulders.  "I need to know that you still care, I mean, I do," he tries to show the conviction in his eyes.  He searches for hope where he doesn't believe it exists.
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

She looks at Hayden with those sweet cute puppy dog eyes and she realizes that she still does care for this guy. She looks at him a small grin coming out of the corner of her mouth. "Yes there is a chance you can come out of the dog house. I will warn you that it will take A LOT of work." She looks at him being all serious. "I still care about you Hayden. I haven't really stopped caring about you ever. I just couldn't see it or tell myself that I should stop caring for you."

Azrael Annavianna

He grins at her and says, "As long as there is a chance, then I am there.  The work.... consider it done."  He dances in his mind thinking that he won't mess up again.  Her forgiveness astounded him and he adored her for it.  "I must tell you that my life has been on the rocks without you in my life," he confessed, "I realize that I was stupid and allowed outside sources to influence my actions; resulting in your hurt."  He continued, "I'm sorry, I guess that should be my first thing on the long road of apology and work." 
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

She smiles as she nods at him. "I'm glad that you are willing to work hard for me because I felt like I worked so hard for us for so long> I felt like your heart wasn't in us and that hurt A LOT." She looked up at him smiling. "I was in pain for a long time." She looks at him serious. "I don't know if I want to be back with you or try something with Mike." She doesn't know if she should have said something but she did.

Azrael Annavianna

Jealous rage flashed across his eyes and then disappeared.  "Why would you say something like that Madison?" his voice quivered when he asked it.  "Do you want me to beat the crap out of him?" he asked, "what makes him so.... perfect?"  He struggled not to swear, he wanted to show her that he was capable of control.  His words hid his attempts, but something had to escape.  He would have burst if he hadn't threatened Mike at all.
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

"I told you that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. God you hurt me sooo much when you left Hayden. And he was the only one that was there for me to help me through probably the worst time of my life. " She looked at him sighing. "He isn't perfect. No one is but he was there to talk me through our break-up. Feeli..I just don't know." She almost let it slip that maybe some feelings are there but she knew that if she told him that things would be soo much worse. She shrugged.

Azrael Annavianna

He looked at her with irritation, "What am I supposed to do?"  He asked her with surprising hurt in his voice, "How can there be anything between us if you don't want it."  He thought about what she said, "Your right people aren't perfect, they make mistakes, and now he gets you and I have to suffer for mine?"  He wants to get through this and be with her, but things aren't easy.  They aren't like they were before, "What can I do?"
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

She looks at him hurt that he is putting words in her mouth. She gives him an irritated look. "STOP putting words in my mouth. I never said that I don't want something between us so don't say that I did say that." She looks at him annoyed. "No I never said that he gets me. I said that I wasn't sure what I wanted. I don't know if I can let you into my life again and get hurt. Hayden I was depressed for soo long. I'm just scared. You were the love of my life even though I had to stand up for you to my family. You were my life but i'm scared" She says as a tear falls down her face. She is never scared so this is something he doesn't see much.

Azrael Annavianna

He looked as if he'd been slapped in the face.  "I'm sorry...." he didn't know what to do.  He was doing it again; hurting her and making her cry.  "I didn't realize I scared you," he lamented, "I thought you were doing well and didn't want to see me again."  His confusion on the whole situation slipped out.  "I didn't realize that I had hurt you just as bad, after the fact."  He looked at her and gave a hug, "I don't deserve you back and I am sorry."
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

She looked at him as she sighed. "I'm not scared of you I'm just scared of letting you back into my life again because I'm afraid of being hurt again. I don't know if my little hearth can handle that again. I was hurting from you and what you did. Truth be told that yes I wanted to break up only because of how bad it was but I still loved you. That hurt knowing you broke that love so easily." She hugged him as she cried into his shirt and look sobbing tears she told him "I mi---sss you"

Azrael Annavianna

He holds her, "I miss you too."  He thinks of the last several months, "My life was bad, real bad after what I did."  He confesses, "I know I was wrong and I learned from it.  I mean for god sakes Madison, I have been suffering for six months."  He thinks of her and says, "I don't want to be broken anymore and you're the only fix I know of."  He says, "I didn't break us easily; the guys told me I wouldn't get in if I didn't do what they said to do.  I realized my folly when I did it, but I have suffered for it."  He exclaims, "I am sorry!"  A few tears begin to fall from his eyes.
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?

AAA111

She looks at him as she puts her fingers under his eyes wiping away his tears. "I wanted to be fixed too. I want you back in my life but I'm so scared of giving you my heart again. You know that I'm in love with you and always have been. Your so damn cute and irresistible that I could never really fall out of love with you. Your my prince charming." She says as she puts her face into his shirt hiding out of embarassment.

Azrael Annavianna

He smiles at her and hopes that she can put her heart to him again.  "I won't make you put your heat out there again, but I want you too, for us," his words rang in his mouth.  He hoped that he wouldn't disappoint her again.  He wanted to make her tears go away like before, but right now he was making them come and he despised himself for it.  "I want to be with you and I know that will take time."
When forgiveness is being able to move past the pain; what happens when you can't forgive yourself?