Random T.V. Quotes.

Started by Inkidu, October 11, 2008, 10:10:13 PM

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Torch


"Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now."


Dead Parrot Sketch, Monty Python's Flying Circus
"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or a gazelle, when the sun comes up, you'd better be running."  Sir Roger Bannister


Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

On's and Off's

Diabolus Lupus

Booth: He looks a little fussy there why don't you pick him up and give him a cuddle.
Brennan: Just because I have breasts doesn't mean I have magical powers over infants!

Sam: She must be really good in bed, otherwise I don't see why you'd keep her around.
Brennan: Yes, I am. But Booth would have no direct knowledge of that fact.

A couple more Bones quotes that I think are funny.

jouzinka

"Well, guns are useless, so are knives. Basically... we gotta torch the sucker."

Dean Winchester
Supernatural 1x02 Wendigo
Story status: Not Available
Life Status: Just keep swimming...
Working on: N/A

Valiant Knight

From Sanford and Son:

FRED: I still want to sow some wild oats!
LAMONT: At your age, you don't have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat!


Inkidu

Quote from: Valiant Knight on January 30, 2009, 09:10:20 PM
From Sanford and Son:

FRED: I still want to sow some wild oats!
LAMONT: At your age, you don't have no wild oats, you got shredded wheat!


Oh, my God, that was priceless.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Ariabella

From Knight Rider 08

KITT: Landing gear, non-operational.

Sarah: What do mean, non-operational?

KITT: In technical terms, it's gone.
Read my ons/offs. Want to one-on-one? PM with ideas

Ons and Offs: https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=42859.0

http://rh.greydawn.net/browse.php?c=Ariabella

Inkidu

Foreman's Dad: He says your a manipulative bastard.
House: It's a pet name.
____________________

Foreman: Chase, Cameron, and... the manipulative bastard...
House: You remembered.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Inkidu

Thirteen: Why can't you just judge our ideas on their own merit?
House: Oh, you don't want me to do that.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

jouzinka

Elim Garak: Easy, Doctor (Bashir), it would appears, that the computer is only targeting non-Cardassians.
Gul Dukat (laughs): If you had been on the Station when I designed this program, I would have made an exception in your case.

Star Trek DS9, Civil Defense
Story status: Not Available
Life Status: Just keep swimming...
Working on: N/A

WyldRanger

B'lanna Torres: Get the cheese to sickbay!

Star Trek: Voyager "Learning Curve"

NitroLacey

A few of my fave Gavin and Stacey quotes. :).

"It's got sepia, although I think it's faulty because it just makes everything look brown."- Uncle Bryn.

"Listen Gav, no-one wants the marriage to fail more than I do!"- Smithy.

"GAVLAR!"- Smithy.

"Be careful he might be grooming you...He might be a peadophile"- Gwen.
"Well he wouldn't be interested In me then would he."- Stacey.

((Stacey trying on a wedding dress.))
"I know its white right, but who can honsetly say hand on heart that they are a Virgin these days?"- Stacey.

thewhiterabbit

Tritter: "Merry Christmas."
House: "Happy go to hell."
-House

Mr. Eko: Climb that tree.
Charlie: What?
Mr. Eko: Climb that tree and perhaps we'll be able to get your bearings or see the plane.
Charlie: You climb it! What if I don't? You gonna beat me with your Jesus-stick?!
-Lost

Dr. Walter Bishop: I just pissed myself.
Peter Bishop: Excellent.
Dr. Walter Bishop: Just a squirt.
-Fringe

WyldRanger

The Doctor: I don't have a life. I have a program.

-Star Trek: Voyager - Tattoo

Skye

Lois to Peter: The safe word is banana.

(Family Guy)
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Inkidu

Don't worry it's loaded with beanbag round it won't do any permanent damage.
-Shoots the shotgun-
But the temporary damage, that hurts like hell... did I forget to mention that?
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Inkidu

Resurrection attempt.

Horse: Pees on the living room floor.
Peter: You know I don't want him to feel self-conscious everybody pee.
Lois: What?
Peter: Everybody pee... now.
Stewie: We have an unusual family.   
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

saturnschild

#66
"Counting the stars in Orin's penis" -Stewy Griffin
The greatest thing you can ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.-Moulin Rouge
In a world ruled by the dead, we are forced to finally start living.- Walking Dead
And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts, And I looked and behold: a pale horse. And his name, that sat on him, was Death. And Hell followed with him. - Johnny Cash

Ons and Offs saturn

Grim

You will try.  You will fail.  You'll do so often. But that's half the fun.

O/O

Saku

Dean: "There's Sam girls and Dean girls. And what's a slash fan?"
Sam: "As in... Sam slash Dean. Together."
Dean: "Like... together together?"
Sam: "Yeah."
Dean: "They do know we're brothers, right?"
Sam: "It doesn't seem to matter."
Dean: "Ah, come on. That's... that's just sick."

Dean: "I'm sitting in a laundromat reading about myself sitting in a laundromat reading about myself. My head hurts."
Dean: (reading) "Sam turned his back on Dean. His face brooding and pensive." I mean, I don't know how this guy is doing it but this guy is doing it. I can't see your face but those are definitely your pensive and brooding shoulders. (Sam pauses) You just thought I was a dick."
Sam: "This guy's good."

Dean Winchester x Sam Winchester
Supernatural 4x18 The Monster at the End of This Book
I'm back!
"Times change and so must I. We all change when you think about it. We’re all different people all through our lives.
And that’s ok, that’s good, as long as you keep moving, as long as you remember all the people that you used to be.
I will not forget one line of this, not one day, I swear. I will always remember when The Doctor was me."
Ons/Offs! vs Updates! vs Requests

Inkidu

Chris: Dad this man says I can't go to school.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army...

Family Guy, Petoria.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

krisalyx

from code geass series 1 season 1 episode 10  jeremiah gottwold  is zero here? if you're around FIGHT ME YOU COWARD!!  Zero oh it's been a while? but i ain't got time to play with you orange boy. Jeremiah O-O-ORANGE?! Please i beg of you DIE!!  (and aftter a few minutes) jeremiah ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!!!!
Fuu Fuu Fuu . . . Now Just Behave Yourself!

tesseractive

And isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, ooh ooh ooh, the sky is the limit!

The Tick
~ Tessa ~

We are never not what we are, but we are never not becoming what we will be.

Rhapsody

Chuck: "I'm in the bathroom! Is there nothing sacred to you people?"
Casey: *beat* "Just the right to bear arms."
|| Games I Play||
Not Available for RP
|| O&O || Requests ||  A&A ||
Current Posting Speed: 1-2 times per week

Come to me, just in a dream. Come on and rescue me.
Yes, I know. I can be wrong. Maybe I'm too headstrong.

Cold Heritage

GENERAL: *hesistant* Well, uh, we could call the Xtacles.
PRESIDENT STAN: *incredulous* Are you joking?! It's 11AM! They're drunk already!

ALEX: Jack, I've got no record of a villain named 'Rape Ape.'
JACK: Of course there's a Rape Ape! He's that guy who's going around raping these statues! Just put that in the file, access it, and read it back to me.
ALEX: *sigh* Okay, uh, here it is.
JACK: Well, what does it say?
ALEX: Rape Ape: He is that guy who is going around raping these statues.
JACK: Case closed!
CHASE: Boosh!
XTACLES: Good job! That was easy!
ALEX: No Jack, case not closed.
JACK: What?
ALEX: If Rape Ape existed, which to reiterate, he doesn't, you'd still have to catch him.
JACK: Fine. Then about this guy below Rape Ape.
ALEX: Rapier Ape?
XTACLES: *gasps of shock*
JACK: Yeah, and look at his name: Rapier Ape. He's obviously taken raping to a whole new level.
ALEX: Rapier Ape is retired, he's lived-
JOSEPH: Oh my God, tell me there isn't a Rapiest Ape.
CHASE: Oh my God!
XTACLES: *gasps of horror*
ALEX: Rapier Ape is retired, and he's called that because he wields a rapier.
JOSEPH: He . . . wields another rapist?
ALEX: No, a rapier! It's a sword used in fencing!
CHASE: That is just sick! He rapes people with a sword?!
XTACLE: Oh man that's gross.
XTACLE: That is sick.
JOSEPH: I'd rather be raped with a penis.
JACK: And you just may get your wish.
JOSEPH: Wait-
JACK: Where is he now?
JOSEPH: No, it's not a wish!
ALEX: *sigh* God. Rapier Ape retired from his life of crime, is currently employed at the theme resturant Funbeard's-
XTACLE: Oooo! Funbeard's!
ALEX: Makes use of his swashbuckling skills as one of their dinner theater actors.
JACK: Alright people, this is serious. We got hostages!
ALEX: Those are tourists.
JACK: A heavily fortified pirate ship!
ALEX: That's actually a retrofitted Sizzler.
JACK: And an ape that's even rapier than Rape Ape.
ALEX: Is my volume even on?
JACK: [Joseph] Bigsby! You're on recon squad.
JOSEPH: Boosh!
JACK: I want to know every move this sick bastard makes.

The Xtacles
Thank you, fellow Elliquiyan, and have a wonderful day.

Shiri

"This is the reason why your headache didn't go away: That's actually pronounced analgesic, not anal-gesic. Sir, the pills go in your mouth."

-Turk from Scrubs