[E X A L T E D] Pseudo-Modern Action Fantasy; Recruiting a Full New Team!

[CurvyKitten]

New character it is then. :) we shall see what the muse can come up with.

[Aethyrium]

I made the modification to the written section as requested in my last post now. Hope that works

These are better! Thank you ^^

And we'll sort out of the coding nonsense if selection is done. :D

[CurvyKitten]

Ok just listen to a few songs and had a concept begin eating my brain. Hehe muse awakened. Now just to see if I can get it focused enough to do this sheet things again lol.

[VVitch]

Maria beckons so sweetly. (5 points if you get it.)

Strength ●● | ● ● ○ ○ ○
Stamina  ●● | ● ● ○ ○ ○
Speed    ●● | ● ● ● ● ●
Shimmer  ●● | ● ● ○ ○ ○
Soul    ●● | ● ● ○ ○ ○
Brawl    ●● | ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
Melee    ●● | ● ● ● ● ○
Ranged  ●● | ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Elemental Affinity | Weakness
Lightning | Fire

Terrain Specialty | Weakness
Mountains | Desert

Maria Rex-Astra

VVitch

Ancestry: Silenus
Gender | Pronouns: Femme Nonbinary | She/They
Sexuality: Pansexual

Age: 20
Height: 6'1"
Body Build: Lean, Toned
Hair Color: Blue
Eye Color: White

Weapon - The Sister Sabres
A pair of blue-silver sabres that lock at the hilts, forming a large pair of scissors.

Shimmer

Thunderstrike - Maria can energise her body and anything she's holding with electrical energy, imparting the energy to the next thing she touches to send a huge jolt of electricity through it.

Maria's Silenus heritage has let her inherit the natural swiftness of the Hearthdeer of the wild norths of Sinnat. (+1 Speed)

Special Trait - ?
?


Where were you born? Whom, if anyone, do you consider family? Where are they, and what is your relationship with them like? Maria Rex-Astra was born to her mother, Ameldia Astra, and her father Nicolash Rex. Her parents both live in Onyx. Her mother runs Astra Industries, a vast manufacturing company while her father is a politician. Astra Industries began producing energy systems, and her mother is a genius in the field, but it has recently pivoted towards arms manufacturing. She has a strained relationship with her parents as they wanted her to follow her mother's footsteps but she had no interest in the life of a businesswoman despite the huge headstart she inherited.

What sort of life did you have before you decided to attend a Battle Academy? How did people react to your decision? Maria was raised in wealth and privelege. The money earned by her mother bought her just about anything she could have needed, though she didn't get nearly as much attention from her parents as she ever wanted with her father being so busy with his political career. She was never quite happy or content, a continuous rebel despite her fortune, and her parents quietly disapproved of her decision to attend a battle academy as it wasn't the life they had tried to set out for her.

Why have you decided to become a Champion? What are your goals, your reasons, and your fears? Maria wants to do good in the world and she's more comfortable doing so with her own two hands, her parents having pushed her away from things like board rooms. She wants to help other people, increasingly to make up for the discomfort she feels at her parent's questionable morality. Maria fears that she's being naive or foolish and that she ought to be biting the bullet and running her parents company and that the most mature way to do good would be to run the family business better in future.

How did you acquire your skills before coming to Hammer? Who taught you? Living a life of privelege, Maria requested to be trained as a hobby and her parents hired an exceptional tutor who made sure to give Maria frequent lessons on dueling and honourable combat. Her skills are very academic, practised and precise but lack real world experience. Maria's tutor was a grey-haired man who was once a famous and well-liked champion who now tutors in his retirement. His name is Gehrmun Jaeger.

What is your greatest accomplishment or thing you are most proud of? What is your greatest failure or thing you regret the most? Maria is most proud of the day she finally equalled her tutor in a duel, having worked for years to reach the level where they could stand toe to toe without the older man holding back significantly. She constantly lives in fear that abandoning the family business is a failing on her part and dreads that she may come to regret the path she's taking in life, wondering if someone else may take her role and make the company even worse.

Briefly talk about your character's initial reaction to being partnered and then teamed. Were they excited? Hard to work with? Distant? Friendly and engaging? Maria was prim, proper and carried the mannerisms of her high-class upbringing at first. After that, though, she gradually began to melt the icy exterior and became more friendly, funny, playful and carefree. It didn't take too long, the shell she had at first being relatively thin and easy to crack. She was eager to learn about the others, to work with them and to form bonds she's not used to having.

List three (or more!) notably truths about you that your teammates have learned over the last month together.

Maria's parents are extremely wealthy but she doesn't get on with them anymore.

Maria's mother is a Silenus who came from Sinnat to Johtan as a teenager.

Maria seems to care more about animals than people, or at least finds expressing care for people difficult.

Maria hasn't really had many friends before, save for shallow friendships with the children of social elites.

List one or more (different!) things that people outside of your team might have noticed about you while attending Hammer Maria has noticeable belongings of extreme value but gets awkward, flustered and almost ashamed when they are highlighted by others. She's avoidant of touch and a little awkward about it at times. Maria's very graceful and carries herself with a noticeable serenity - she sometimes seems like she thinks she's above others even if she doesn't due to her high society mannerisms. Maria's austere exterior is seen to break when she sees an animal, and she's much more comfy touching them than people.

List two or more things that you have done in the last month, beyond going to classes and learning? Maria, in a moment of rebellion, broke into the facilities of a company that does animal testing and freed the wildlife there that were being experimenting on. She wasn't caught and has kept what she did quiet. It was the biggest moment of rebellion in her life so far and a huge adrenaline rush. She had help from others from the Academy, but just a tiny group.

Also, Maria took a group of friends on a shopping trip using her family card. She still feels guilty over using the family wealth given her discomfort with her parents but it has been the norm in her life until this point. Maria has often used her familial wealth to make friends, excusing that she's putting the money to good use and being friendly but feeling uncomfortable about the depth of those friendships and the source of the money.

List a few (3-5) things that you values and seems to play a role in how you interact with the world. Maria values good food and drink, particularly hearty home cooking over fine dining. She values the outdoors, especially running or climbing, and loves to breath fresh air. Maria loves clothes, with most of hers being self-tailored. She is a natural rebel and appreciates causes or people who are ready to question authority and the status quo. Maria adores animals and will go out of her way to befriend any she can.

Finally, come up with one plot hook that you would like to explore with your teammates. Something about your character / their story that you're very eager to showcase or have play an early role in their experience.

Maria's mother is an ultra-wealthy elite who built up a vast fortune however her company is involved in significant shady business. She's not a very good person, or moral, and Maria knows better than most that she's almost definitely breaking laws or at least doing things most would frown on.

Maria's father is a politician growing in popularity. He is likely tied into her mother's shady business practices and she knows his political career is selfishly motivated.

Maria is moving further from her parents and high-society upbringing. She needs to meet others who are rebellious and who take issue with aspects of the status quo and elite of society.

Maria wants, and needs, to get more practical experience and to be out in the world more. She wants to see how other people live, to understand for herself as best she can what the world is like outside of the bubble she's been in. She also needs more combat experience as well as general life experience.

[shengami]

@VVitch That is a cool CS. Just got two tiny tiny questions.

Why mountains as the favored terrain? Is there some logic or story behind it?

The Sister Sabers are cool! (Kill la Kill?). What function do the big scissors serve? How would they work in combat?

Just trying to poke a bit.

And a fun little note: there's a group of PCs that does charity work at a food line. Might Maria have joined such or shown interest?

[VVitch]

@VVitch That is a cool CS. Just got two tiny tiny questions.

Why mountains as the favored terrain? Is there some logic or story behind it?

The Sister Sabers are cool! (Kill la Kill?). What function do the big scissors serve? How would they work in combat?

Just trying to poke a bit.

And a fun little note: there's a group of PCs that does charity work at a food line. Might Maria have joined such or shown interest?

Mountains are due to familial heritage. Her mother came from a mountainous region, she has an affinity for them.

I don't know what Kill la Kill is so that didn't play a factor here. Kind of like a finishing move. In reality they would be completely impractical but they'd be for things like decapitations, taking off a limb. Very much a coup de grace type of thing.

I think that could be something she could get roped into, yes.

[Yukina]

Interest noted! Starting on a new one tonight. :)

[Crash]

Maria looks great VVitch!

[VVitch]

Maria looks great VVitch!

Thank you! She's been being mused on for a long while now.

[Miss Nyx]

Awesome Silenus you’ve got there VVitch! I think her fondness for animals is adorable heh heh! And I love that she’s pushed away from her family’s success and questionable reputation to pursue her own destiny doing good in the world. 

[Yukina]

Strength ●● | ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Stamina  ●● | ● ● ○ ○ ○
Speed    ●● | ● ● ● ● ○
Shimmer  ●● | ● ● ○ ○ ○
Soul    ●● | ● ● ○ ○ ○
Brawl    ●● | ● ● ● ○ ○
Melee    ●● | ● ● ● ○ ○
Ranged  ●● | ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Elemental Affinity | Weakness

Air/Sonic | Lightning/Water

Terrain Specialty | Weakness
Mountain/Urban | Aquatic

Torina Squall

Yukina

Ancestry: Silenus (Raven)
Gender | Pronouns: Femme | She/They
Sexuality: Sapphic
Age: 21
Height: 5'4"
Body Build: Lithe, yet a hint curvy
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Red

Weapon - Sawsher Scythe

A long and sharp war scythe. The blade is able to flip to convert the weapon to deploy a serrated blade imbued with white arcanite, resulting in what looks like a cross between a staff and a chainsaw. The air arcanite is purposely designed to create gusts of propulsion for her wings. These gusts are not a viable method attack however.

Shimmer- Reverb
Torina has the ability to create lasting impressions of her movements, resulting in a trail of hollow after-images that create confusion for foes that target her. 

Silenus Advantage - Take Flight!
Torina's most notable feature (besides her grand grin of course) are the raven-like wings attached to her back like an angel that she bares open that allow her to glide!

Special Trait - ?
?

Where were you born? Whom, if anyone, do you consider family? Where are they, and what is your relationship with them like?
 Torina Squall was born to Georges Squall (a owl silenus) and Nana Verde (a raven silenus) into the country of Mirat. Her parents are both very loving with the book shop they run. Georges is a historian, while Nana inherited the store as part of the family business. However, the pair are worried about their child's desires to explore the world since it is far from safe than their current home. Hence, about every letter to her has the constant reminder that she's always has a home with them.

What sort of life did you have before you decided to attend a Battle Academy? How did people react to your decision?

Torina has always been the perky sort. When she wasn't learning about the business from Nana, she was always weirding out the other kids with strange beetle she found interesting or another weird thing. With a whole life around books, it came with ideas, a hunger for learning, and inspiration. It was a hunger that scared her parents when she declared her desire to join the world far out of the safe haven of Mirat's city life. Most of her friends found her insane and her parents were constantly reminding her that were other options even as she left for the boat.

Why have you decided to become a Champion? What are your goals, your reasons, and your fears?

Personally, Torina is aiming to be a champion less for the responsibilities, but more for the perks that come with the title. To her, it means the freedom to explore as she desires. Meet the people she wants to meet. Eat the things she wants to eat. Get a look at every single last flora and fauna on the planet. As much as she seems to disregard her parents' worries though, it's so they know the rank will protect her and they can hopefully feel at ease. She truly does love them and she fears that, if she fails one of the likely grim ways silenus do in the outside world, she'll break the hearts of the ones that gave her such a lust to live in the first place.

How did you acquire your skills before coming to Hammer? Who taught you?

Torina, ever eager to be prepared to explore, joined a martial arts dojo in town passed down from one of the veterans from the war. Some of her fellow friends sought to travel doing the good work as part of the Red Fang and they led her there in the assumption that just maybe it would either make her quit or join the path of theirs they deemed somehow safer. Her desire for the champion position attracting the attention of a teacher that had an immense hatred for the Hollow did not factor into those plans.

Having lost an arm to the hollow, the former champion by the name of Bojack (a crow silenus) was more more than happy to train the spitfire in the art of his scythe in a bid for spiteful revenge by proxy. If that wasn't enough in the way of failure for her friends' plans, the vengeful soul was very insistent on getting her into the academy of Hammer with his scythe at her side with his connections. Her friends had succeeded in getting her into the Red Fang, but with the last person that would keep her in Mirat.

What is your greatest accomplishment or thing you are most proud of? What is your greatest failure or thing you regret the most?

Torina is truly the most proud of the collection of books she has amassed over the years. It's maybe only a quarter of the four hundred her mother bares, but it's hers. While she doesn't mention it though, she regrets just how much she's scaring her parents in pursuing her immensely risky dream.

Briefly talk about your character's initial reaction to being partnered and then teamed. Were they excited? Hard to work with? Distant? Friendly and engaging?
Torina was absolutely ecstatic to meet a whole bunch of new faces! Her life's dream was to learn and consume of course! She found a few of them stick-in-the-muds, but she was more than happy to keep on trucking. She had to learn anything and everything to mark it in her brain after all!
 
List three (or more!) notably truths about you that your teammates have learned over the last month together.
-Torina ultimately does fear failure despite her chipper attitude.
-Torina also happens to be able to play a killer flute solo and has amazing pipes for singing.
-If Torina has a type, it is definitely a woman that can make a wonderful meal, is buff, or both.

List one or more (different!) things that people outside of your team might have noticed about you while attending Hammer
-Torina is the epitome of a happy goth in the way she walks around in dark hooded robe as her main outfit while humming tunes from rather grim songs without missing a beat.

-Torina speaks almost as fast as her chainsaw.
-Torina is very much a hugger.
-Unless she is paling around with friends, she doesn't touch the ground the moment she leaps out of the dorms.

List two or more things that you have done in the last month, beyond going to classes and learning?
-Torina has started hosting weekly karaoke nights every Thursday evening.
-Torina has managed to badger Hammer Academy's librarian enough with her enthusiasm in order to get some part time work at the library.

List a few (3-5) things that you values and seems to play a role in how you interact with the world.
-Knowledge takes place front and center as both Torina's personal drug and anti-drug of choice. She will go quite far out of her way to get it.

-Said lust for knowledge has made quite the open-minded person. After all, she needs to be a good listener if she hopes to learn as much as she can.

-However, it has resulted her being quite the hedonist as she loves to "taste" the world. She started that karaoke night for the party atmosphere and excitement!

-Torina is very open to helping her friends. Despite how much she pries for information and prides it highly above a lot of things, she cherishes what she learns and her friends are ever-growing representations of those memories she's made.

Finally, come up with one plot hook that you would like to explore with your teammates. Something about your character / their story that you're very eager to showcase or have play an early role in their experience.
In her first year at Hammer Academy, Torina hopes to make a massive "Book of Friends" detailing all the wonderful people she's met and everything about them. Hopefully at least a good fifty souls if she can help it. However, that is quickly devolving into a "Book of Culture" in general is she keeps building subsections regarding the features, foods, and locals of the academy in Toil as she gets lost in her wanderlust. In short, she could really use a guiding hand to keep her on track before she ends up expelled or found dead in a back alley for knowing "the wrong thing" as she tries to complete this endeavor.

Her first task is to get involved in looking into the Free Bird Protests since she sees an opportunity to be one of the first record this bit of history as it goes on. If she does not have a friend guiding her way though, she is as good as dead. Especially when she have a few letters Bojack wants her to deliver.

[shengami]

@ Yukina

Hi~~! Torina is cute. As a fellow knowledge-phile, I can relate to that thirst to know. I like how it has lead her to be a bit heedlessly hedonistic. She wants to try all the things she read about. The tension of wanting to fulfill her personal desire to explore while also feeling responsible for her parents is a nice tension for the character. Also, love the chainsaw staff...

But I wanted to poke you on a couple things.

I want to come from somewhere other than Johtan/Onyx, may I?
The short answer is no. In fact, ideally, all characters from this round of recruitment will come from Onyx specifically. Traveling around the world is rare, and in the first round of recruitment we already (unintentionally) opened the door to a lot of characters who came from far away. Most people, unless they are Champions, don’t ever leave the place they are born.

If your concept requires so deeply that you be from somewhere else, you’re welcome to pitch it to me. But a few notes… First, this is not a challenge. Do not try to pitch ideas to be from elsewhere just because you can. Secondly, if you are going to be from somewhere else, you really need to be a very story-relevant reason why you’re not there. Something I can play with and is interesting, so you’ll need to bring your best work.

I think you considered this, but i just wanted to poke it. Cause, Mirat is on the other side of the world from hammer/Johtan. If all she wanted was to be a champion, why not go to Instinct much closer to home? Why travel sooooo far? Did she just wash up here? Or was Johtan where she was when she decided to assuage her parents' worry a bit? I think it makes sense for her to have traveled, it's a big part of her backstory. But... you know. Just poking.

The other thing I wanted to poke was the book:

In her first year at Hammer Academy, Torina hopes to make a massive "Book of Friends" detailing all the wonderful people she's met and everything about them. Hopefully at least a good fifty souls if she can help it. However, that is quickly devolving into a "Book of Culture" in general is she keeps building subsections regarding the features, foods, and locals of the academy in Toil as she gets lost in her wanderlust. In short, she could really use a guiding hand to keep her on track before she ends up expelled or found dead in a back alley for knowing "the wrong thing" as she tries to complete this endeavor.

I like this idea but it's a little hard to interact with as a fellow player unless she is seen writing in this tome frequently or has made it known... So, what is one event or person that has made it's way into the tome? Ermm, like, an entry for Marlowe Ashe or Meena Tor or even a professor as an example?

Hope my poking is not too overbearing! Lovely CS. Look forward to your thoughts.

[Rashol]

Ooo ooo ooo can I ask a question then. Coming from in and around onyx. Doesn't that limit our favoured terrain options?

Since onyx isn't say an arctic climate, or a desert they might be rare/banned for this recruitment?

EDIT: there's a whole blank area to the south that could feasibly be desert or jungle depending on requirements so maybe..

[FyreFoxx]

Ooo ooo ooo can I ask a question then. Coming from in and around onyx. Doesn't that limit our favoured terrain options?

Since onyx isn't say an arctic climate, or a desert they might be rare/banned for this recruitment?

EDIT: there's a whole blank area to the south that could feasibly be desert or jungle depending on requirements so maybe..

I don't think it would. Example, Lyra is from Unovia, and while this current line up should be from Johtan, Lyra's terrain options have nothing to do with where she's from. Her affinity is Aquatic and Arctic, with Urban and Mountain as weaknesses. Unovia was described as more of a desert continent, similar to Australia. So it's more based on her design and elemental choices, with her affinity being Water and one weakness being Earth, than where she's physically from. Terrain affinities were described to me as, quoting Aethy, "just familiarity with how to best utilize it / fight in it / adapt to its specifics" and "a knowledge / comfort / familiairty / adaptability / etc in fighting in a specific type of location."

Hope that helps!

[Rashol]

@FyreFoxx It does thanks. 

I'm really struggling to come up with a character... ;_;

Part of me wants to use my old shimmer in some form.

But it doesn't fit the character in my head anymore, but I don't know how to make the character in my head more interesting because right now they are boring and simple ;_;

[shengami]

@FyreFoxx It does thanks.

I'm really struggling to come up with a character... ;_;

Part of me wants to use my old shimmer in some form.

But it doesn't fit the character in my head anymore, but I don't know how to make the character in my head more interesting because right now they are boring and simple ;_;

That old shimmer was super neat.

Talk the character out some them. We'll brainstorm with you. What's the core concept? Got some neat art? An idea for a background? Shoot!

If it helps, here's some concepts that don't exist currently (as Pcs, some of these are prepped by NPCs):
A thief type
A paragon type
Techie type
Nautical type
Pair Type (something like Kiba?)
Support Type
Sonic Focused Type
Martial Artist Type
Face/Social Type
Cook Type
Epic Swordsman Type
Mounted Type
Twin Type (if that's a concept that Aethy would accept)

Anyway, like I said, we can brainstorm!

[Rashol]

@shengami
I'm not really married to any particular thing just yet. So the list really helps, but I have to limit myself because I can't do everything ;) in the time I have.

Current tiny germ of idea.
Desert based (maybe)
Travelled around with his family transporting arcanite the capital

Weapon... Umm.. yeah stuck here Umbrella/Heavy Machine Gun, maybe... I think we may have two martial arts type people in the current crop of submissions so I was really uncertain which direction to take this.
(Though I did think just a pair of tonfa, no transformation; as in they are literally a pair of metal struts from the old arcanite transport.)

[shengami]

@shengami
I'm not really married to any particular thing just yet. So the list really helps, but I have to limit myself because I can't do everything ;)

Current tiny germ of idea.
Desert based (maybe)
Travelled around with his family transporting arcanite the capital

Weapon... Umm.. yeah stuck here Umbrella/Heavy Machine Gun, maybe...
I think we may have two martial arts type people in the current crop of submissions.

Wip

There is an NPC that has an assault rifle/pistols combo, but not many other gun types.

I am unsure just how MUCH Aethy has filled in the map, but there could be a patch of desert somewhere on Johtan. Do recall she'd prefer if everyone was from Johtan/Onyx this round.

Thinking about machine guns, that's a type we don't have. Like a heavy support type. Grenades, rockets, heavy suppressing fire. Hmmm, there is a thriving mercenary scene in Johtan. Groups that specialize in protecting those who travel from village to village? After all, everywhere in the world other than the big cities is dangerous as hell.

As for what's in the current group, don't worry about it. Make a better version. Haha. The gam focuses heavily on combat types. We're champions. But a logistics type or support type or like that could be fun. A shimmer where you get a sort of HUD display of the immediate area like a form of super perception?

For fun, since I was one of the main Johtan natives... the cuisine of the are is very American based. Lots of meat, barbecue, bread, stews, etc. Could be a southwester type region somewhere. Don't be afraid to put something like that in your CS. Makes things fun.

And finally, the list was just meant to give some brain babies. If one stuck out to you.

[Rashol]

@shengami
The point of my original shimmer was in came with a whole ton of baggage and wasn't exactly flexible. I tried to make sure it only did one thing otherwise it was going to be too strong.

So it didn't detect hollow weaknesses. It wasn't danger sense it just literally did "hollow that way" but the point was it did "hollow that way" all the time (and had a range like half the planet)

I suspect when the hollow attacked onyx (if I use this one)  he would literally have collapsed unconscious just before the attack started, because his shimmer detected everything all at once and overrode his ability to cope with it.

But... Still doesn't help the rest of the concept... ><

Map mode sounds fun though :)

[shengami]

@shengami
The point of my original shimmer was in came with a whole ton of baggage and wasn't exactly flexible. I tried to make sure it only did one thing otherwise it was going to be too strong.

So it didn't detect hollow weaknesses. It wasn't danger sense it just literally did "hollow that way" but the point was it did "hollow that way" all the time (and had a range like half the planet)

I suspect when the hollow attacked onyx (if I use this one)  he would literally have collapsed unconscious just before the attack started, because his shimmer detected everything all at once and overrode his ability to cope with it.

But... Still doesn't help the rest of the concept... ><

Map mode sounds fun though :)

Oh right, forgot that shimmer.

Also, could use robots. That's a thing in this setting. There's even an underground robot fighting ring...

That's another cool idea. A shimmer that lets you link up to and control a robot...

[Yukina]

@ Yukina

Hi~~! Torina is cute. As a fellow knowledge-phile, I can relate to that thirst to know. I like how it has lead her to be a bit heedlessly hedonistic. She wants to try all the things she read about. The tension of wanting to fulfill her personal desire to explore while also feeling responsible for her parents is a nice tension for the character. Also, love the chainsaw staff...

But I wanted to poke you on a couple things.

I think you considered this, but i just wanted to poke it. Cause, Mirat is on the other side of the world from hammer/Johtan. If all she wanted was to be a champion, why not go to Instinct much closer to home? Why travel sooooo far? Did she just wash up here? Or was Johtan where she was when she decided to assuage her parents' worry a bit? I think it makes sense for her to have traveled, it's a big part of her backstory. But... you know. Just poking.

The other thing I wanted to poke was the book:

I like this idea but it's a little hard to interact with as a fellow player unless she is seen writing in this tome frequently or has made it known... So, what is one event or person that has made it's way into the tome? Ermm, like, an entry for Marlowe Ashe or Meena Tor or even a professor as an example?

Hope my poking is not too overbearing! Lovely CS. Look forward to your thoughts.

Hey, Shengami. :) Glad to hear you like my smiling sociological slasher.

Oh, both. :) On one hand, it ensures that she at least gets to ride on a long boat journey with a bunch of majestic views. On the other hand, she picked it because it looks (relatively) safe(r) for her parents.

Seeing as the book is very much devolving into her personal scrapbook, it always seems to be on her person as Torina scrawls in new sights, sounds, and smells! :) Farrah Tinkerspan most likely had one of her first entries because she just had to draw those muscles in her book! She was very distracted by them.

I definitely don't mind the poking. It helps me flesh out stuff :)

[Rashol]

Oh right, forgot that shimmer.

Also, could use robots. That's a thing in this setting. There's even an underground robot fighting ring...

That's another cool idea. A shimmer that lets you link up to and control a robot...

I would argue too broad. It's technically one thing. But it could lead to a while bunch of other things. As in oh I need to link to a big stompy robot. No problem.
I need to link to a robot that flies. There we go.

 I know I that it relies on having those robots.. but I'm not sure I want to go down that road.

[Crash]

If it helps, here's some concepts that don't exist currently (as Pcs, some of these are prepped by NPCs):
A thief type
A paragon type
Techie type
Nautical type
Pair Type (something like Kiba?)
Support Type
Sonic Focused Type
Martial Artist Type
Face/Social Type
Cook Type
Epic Swordsman Type
Mounted Type
Twin Type (if that's a concept that Aethy would accept)

I really wouldn’t worry about this too much.

Meena is the very definition of a support type character, but she isn’t on this team so it opens things up for others to play their version of it.

Overlap isn’t bad either.  There are 4-6 members in a team.  Everyone will know how to do a little of everything.


Find a character you just want to play.  Personality, interesting background, fun secrets they have.  Build that.  Weapons, fighting style and shimmer can be informed by that later.

Maybe that will help with any analysis paralysis you might have.

[Aethyrium]

@VVitch let's talk Maria...!

Actually I don't think I have (m)any notes for you. Lol. Stats look good. Weapon is neat. Shimmer is solid. I think you've got a really good story built here, and it just so happens to fit in with some of the scenes that are happening/building up right now. If taken, I have lots of ideas that come very easily to mind for Maria.

All in all, fantastic submission. Really excited about her.


Let's see what you've got for me this time, @Yukina!

So first note (and this is my fault, I realize I didn't include it in the updated recruitment, oops) real quick is the image. We only use art here, so I'll need you to find some art that fits and change the image out. Sorry about that!

Stats look good. Chainsaw staff is neat. Really like her Shimmer, that's a fun ability, super visual.

Tell me a little bit about her wings - how are you envisioning them? Are they independent wings, like a typical rendition of an angel? Or more like, feathery wings attached to her arms? Silenus traits like this do exist, but they're pretty rare - and full flight is a lot to pump into a ribbon ability. This might fit better as a gliding ability, or a "falling with style" ability, making use of air Arcanite... Hrm. I'll need to consider on this a little more, so I encourage you to start thinking tweaks or other traits and I'll let you know what the verdict is once I've woken up more.

Overall, I think Torina is a neat concept and I'm happy to see her. There is one semi-large note though, and that has to do with her coming from Mirat. I talked about this in this post (bold question #5).

While you have done a good job of weaving Mirat into her story, I don't think this meets the burden of being a very story-relevant reason why you're not there. Traveling to Johtan would have been infinitely more dangerous than just going to Ruby and attending Instinct. Not to mention harder, more expensive, less accessible... The list really goes on and on. In fact, your story has this bit about her being a Champion specifically so she can travel and do what she wants - but by being from Mirat and having literally already spanned the globe, she's more traveled than most (99%+ of all people) will ever travel in their entire lives.

So, I think I'd like to see that part changed up. Oooor, finding a very story-specific reason that this has happened.

How long are you thinking that Torina has been away from home and in Onyx? This dojo that she joined, is this in Hoenan, or in Johtan?

And finally, the last question. Her book is fantastic! But that's a very personal journey she seems to be on. I'm not sure it's hooky enough for other players to be able to grab onto and actively do something with. Or maybe a better way to say this is that, it's very broad, which makes it feel very intangible. So I'd like to see this changed up... But I think you can do that by drilling down and maybe presenting a couple of very specific things that she wants to experience for recording in her book. Just make sure that these are actual hooks and not things like, "I want to try pasta" or "I want to meet an elf".

Really, she's a great concept Yuki, and I think with a few tweaks you're gonna be right on the money. ^^

[VVitch]

@VVitch let's talk Maria...!

Actually I don't think I have (m)any notes for you. Lol. Stats look good. Weapon is neat. Shimmer is solid. I think you've got a really good story built here, and it just so happens to fit in with some of the scenes that are happening/building up right now. If taken, I have lots of ideas that come very easily to mind for Maria.

All in all, fantastic submission. Really excited about her.

Awh, you charmer. Thank you! I'm excited for her too.