Perverted Wishes

Started by Ellyssa, September 15, 2006, 11:50:39 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Inkidu

Granted you now have the worst case of obsessive compulsive disorder ever recorded. Last seen you were arranging M&Ms by size, color, and alphabetically.

I wish I understood what Idej said.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Idej

Granted, every single Dragonlace book comes flowing into your brain, filling it up with all of the information about Dragonlance.  Though the flow of information coming into your head becomes too much and your head explodes.

I wish that I was friends with Oda Nobunaga in a previous life.

Inkidu

Granted, though historians reckon he was paranoid and eccentric. He kills you because he thinks you stole his favorite tea cup. He later finds it in the dirty dishes.

I wish I had the ability to read peoples' minds at will.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Bliss

Your wish is granted, but the effect of holding other peoples thoughts and related experiences and mental patterning concurrently in with your own drives you slowly, inexorably mad.

I wish I could bug off work and go fishing.
O/O ~ Wiki ~ A/A ~ Discord: Bliss#0337
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
<3 <3 <3

Inkidu

Wish granted you bug of work by magically turning you into a grasshopper. You're caught by a bait shop owner packaged and sold. Now you're on a hook. Have fun fishing!

I wish I had a steak sandwich.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

jstarz

Granted but sharp wood poles on rye aren't edible.

I wish I had an unending large cheese pizza.

Inkidu

Granted but you can no longer crap due to an excess of dairy in your system. Go figure.

I wish I had a ham and swiss cheese sandwich with pickles.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Aiden

Granted but the ham is turkey and it is horribly dry, and you have nothing to drink!

I wish I could be productive at work.

Inkidu

(You bastard! My ham!)

Granted, you are the most productive employee ever. You're so efficient you become a being of pure energy, unfortunately; you still want to have sex but can no longer do so.

I wish Dead Space would release sooner.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Aiden

(My Sex! You bastard!)

Granted, you are given a early full copy of the game in a clear indestructibly lock box. You get you key two days after it is released to the world.

I wish it was legal for me to punch stupid people.

Kalen

It becomes not only legal, but nessecary.  Then you lock yourself into a small room by accident, and beat yourself to death.

I wish I didn't feel tired all the time.

Inkidu

Granted, you discover an infinite energy supplement. You no longer feel tired all the time but you can't sleep. Last time you were spotted you were attempting to dig a hole to China only to realize halfway there you already ran there.

I wish it was dinner time.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Red Dawn

Granted, however when you arrive to the dinner table, you found a note saying that your parents and siblings left to eat dinner in a five star restaurant and that they would be back in a few hours. You are left with a plate of cold peas and mash potatoes.

I wish I could sleep and still learn

jstarz

Granted but you get sent a bunch of those subliminal message tapes and learn to improve your vocabulary despite wanting to loose weight...

I wish I didn't come up with such an obvious Simpsons reference.

Zaer Darkwail

Wish granted but it changes into doing muppets referances.

I wish I could focus do now my end degree paper work far more better and finish it less than a month!

jstarz

Granted but you get nailed for plagiarism.

I wish it wasn't raining today.

Idej

Granted, but it will never rain throughout the world for the rest of eternity.  The world dries up with now moisture and eventually bakes.

I wish that Istanbul was called Constantinople again.

Inkidu

Wish granted. You walk into a spacial anomaly and are warped back to the third crusade. You're standing on the battlements of Constantinople at the pillage of the city by the European knights.

I wish I had a grilled fish sandwich.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

MusicNeverDies

Granted- but you get food poisoning from it.

I wish my house was clean.

Idej

Granted, a Repo Man comes in and repossesses your house and all of your belongings.  You now don't have to worry about a clean house.

I wish that Abraham Lincoln and JFK were not assassinated.

MusicNeverDies

Granted- they tripped down stairs and cracked their heads open- so much for the image of American intelligence.

I wish I could find the safety pins.

jstarz

Granted, but you're now involved in a BDSM scene and those pins are being used in unspeakable places and in unspeakable ways...

I wish I could clothe the naked.

Red Dawn

Granted. However, you find that while you could clothe the naked, a very fat, very ugly, and very angry middle-aged man would not stay dressed and you spent the remainder of your years getting beatened by him for dressing him.

I wish weekends come faster

Inkidu

Wish granted. Weekends come faster because all the other days of the week have magically vanished. So now everyone has to work extra hard on the weekends.

I wish I could find my drawing software.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

jstarz

Granted but you're stuck with a demo version of PS that expires in 10 minutes.

I for a table saw.