Dealing with Depression ~ A Personal Point of View

[Rhedyn]

*Hugs Rhedyn*

*snuggles Sybl* Thanks dear, I needed that.

*flits around doling out hugs to Starlequin and Adam and anyone else who wants them*

[Night Stalker]

Leaves Good Thoughts and Hugs for all.

[Remiel]

Starlequin, I can't even begin to imagine what you've gone through, but you are very brave for sharing it with us.  Stay strong, my friend.

*offers hugs all around*

[Rhatha]

All I want to tell you is that I understand.  I understand what it is like to be so depressed you can barely move, speak or function, and I have suffered from that for a long time.  Just hang in there; I have found that people tend to love others, just for being others, and that they never truly want them to suffer.  You will always have friends.

[Adammair]

I have found that people tend to love others, just for being others, and that they never truly want them to suffer.  You will always have friends.

*hugs Rhatha, and then leaves hugs for anyone and everyone else who wants one*

Welcome, Rhatha. Best of luck to you on a speedy approval.

[CelticWings]

-Quietly sneaks in again for a few of the hugs, and leaves a thank you note for all the people offering so much knowing and unknowing support to perfect strangers (like herself)-

[Sybl]

-Quietly sneaks in again for a few of the hugs, and leaves a thank you note for all the people offering so much knowing and unknowing support to perfect strangers (like herself)-

CelticWings,
though you and I may not know one another (yet) we are from from strangers.  You have my support and all of our support any time you need it, and open PM boxes any time you need a hug or hugs, there are plenty to be had for the taking.
*hugs you*

Sybl

[Sybl]

All I want to tell you is that I understand.  I understand what it is like to be so depressed you can barely move, speak or function, and I have suffered from that for a long time.  Just hang in there; I have found that people tend to love others, just for being others, and that they never truly want them to suffer.  You will always have friends.

Same goes for Rhatha, as does CelticWings...
(I couldn't modify my post. sorry I missed you) *hugs*

[Rhedyn]

*offers welcoming hugs to everyone who has visited*

Yeah, so it's been a bad one for me. That first slump was the start of a big episode. I think it's clearing off now thank god, the weekend was tough, I had a few panic attacks which has never happened to me before. Then I made the mistake of talking about it to the wrong person and we all know how that pans out... *sigh*

I had this well thought out, prettily worded blog post all planned in my head but it just never got written, it was just too much to try and cope with.

[Sybl]

*leaves cuddle hugs for Rhedyn* I know panic attacks, well. I sympathize with you for ever having any, they are no fun. *Leaves some more hugs for all who need or wants them*

[Adammair]

Then I made the mistake of talking about it to the wrong person and we all know how that pans out... *sigh*

That's the story of my life, right there, Rhedyn. I seem to always say the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person.

*offers hugs and an open PM box*

*leaves cuddle hugs for Rhedyn* I know panic attacks, well. I sympathize with you for ever having any, they are no fun. *Leaves some more hugs for all who need or wants them*

+1

[Rhedyn]

Thank you both *snuggles with Sybl and Adam*

Next time I will try to remember to PM someone who understands it better, thanks for the offer Adam, I will endeavour to take you up on it in the future. The panic attack made me well...panic...and I had to talk to someone right then and there but he didn't really understand and just made me feel like there was something terribly wrong with me.

[Modern Fairy Tale]

Does anyone ever notice that when depression hits you, it feels like everything just gets heavier.  I remember a comercial for an antidepressent where the depressent toy-like figure had to wind himself/herself up to get anything done.  I feel like that sometimes... nowdays I picture this is the most intense my feelings get.  It just feels like everything is soooo veeerrrry haaarrrrrd.  And everytime it comes up again, it feels like its just a bit harder... until you are sure you are just going to fall over and drop the ball or something and look really silly.  Just because I couldnt... do whatever it is I was trying to do because by then it felt like pushing up against a concrete wall or something.  The funny thing is that... even if its a learned behavior or a chemical imbalance, you notice by my age that it exists only as an illusion, kind of a self delusion seperating you from the truth.  If you can just... turn your attention to something else or something... just break the chain just for a few seconds, whatever it is is lightened greatly.  Like shuffling your feet through mud... gets harder and harder... until you have to lift the foot completely up to take the next step.  Then start to feel it sinking again.  You just have to renew yourself.

Sorry to vent on here.  Usually I just give advice a few times.  This once, though, this is kind of a current report of how I am feeling.  Im in this program, its kind of trying and exhausting.  Im in an internship.  Right now, its so hard... I just have to reset my mood somehow.  As often as I can, every day sometimes.  I guess thats what Im trying to do now.  Lift that heavy foot and just take another step.  The difficulty is just a mindset and if you reset it... poof, it will be gone.  Its tiring sometimes.  I know tommarrow I will have to tell myself this again and reset so I can go in and do my best and get my license so I can have a better life... its just the path is so long... but it is finite.  So every step I take is toward this goal.  I can do it... just think one more step today.  Just think about the few steps you have to do this week.  Then... lets just go from there.

Anyway, I usually write on this column as if I am an almighty Jedi of the Depressed Side.  The truth is I have hard days too.  I have times when I am weak and everything around me seems so overwelming.  This is one such time.  I stand beside you when you are troubled.  Just thought you deserved to know this.  Every teacher should show his credentials somewhere in his office.  These are my credentials.  Life is hard... living it is a heros struggle.  Dont lay down under the pressures, stand up to it.  Think of it as exercise for the mind and soul.  Exercise is hard... but its benefits are definitely worth it.  Treat your depression like gravity... if it werent for gravity walking would be impossible.  Perhaps its just a force to keep you on the ground.  Hope this is useful to someone.

[Adammair]

Life is hard... living it is a hero's struggle.  Dont lay down under the pressures, stand up to it.  Think of it as exercise for the mind and soul.  Exercise is hard... but its benefits are definitely worth it.  Treat your depression like gravity... if it werent for gravity walking would be impossible.  Perhaps its just a force to keep you on the ground.  Hope this is useful to someone.

Very well said, Modern...VERY well said! I must memorize this, but with everything else I have going through my mind at any given moment, I doubt I'll be able to. *sighs*

[Sybl]

Thank you both *snuggles with Sybl and Adam*

Next time I will try to remember to PM someone who understands it better, thanks for the offer Adam, I will endeavour to take you up on it in the future. The panic attack made me well...panic...and I had to talk to someone right then and there but he didn't really understand and just made me feel like there was something terribly wrong with me.

>:( Nothing aggravates me more than the better than thou attitudes of people who don't have an f'ing clue what it is to be so depressed you can't seem to crawl out of a wet paper bag let alone see the light above your head. Grrrrr.

Then you have those brainless twits that tell you there is something wrong with you, [um.. hello, you think?  :o Of course there is something wrong, that's why I came to you for help...]

Panic or anxiety attacks as they are called is a symptom of something else, and to those brainless twits... it can happen to you abnormal( those who think they are above it are abnormal in my book) people too, you don't have to suffer from depression to have them.

Okay what you had with your 'friend' Rhedyn was a communication failure... so, ignore that comment.

There is nothing 'wrong' with you, you had a symptom, nothing more nothing less.. what did you learn? [  Sybl's PM box is in need of filling '  ]

I understand fully about panic and anxiety, I had quite a few over December's holiday and New Years, with the news that 'we' are no longer considered part of the [blood] family.. should I be surprised? no, not really, but it hurt hearing it, and I suddenly felt all alone in this world. That said, I needed to come here and look for a friendly...which I did, and thanks to the love of my life and a few good 'new family' members, I had much support during this horrendous time.

So.. fill my PM box to over flowing...anytime you need to vent.. I am a good listener.. and sharing with each other helps us all see we are not as alone as we thought.
*leaves a thread full of hugs for you and all who need them*

Sybl

[Rhatha]

I understand so much what you all mean, and to hear you express it means a lot to me.  After my suicide attempt, it felt like everyone I went to was just stressed out by my being there, or disturbed by how crazy I was, and didn't take the time to just listen, even though that's all I wanted them to do; I didn't want them to do anything, I knew they couldn't, but I just wanted them to listen.  So, yeah, that's all I wanted to say.  I'm fine now, but I understand not being listened to.

[Sybl]

*Hugs*
I think that would be so nice Rhatha to have that 1 person we need just to listen.
Not do anything......... but listen.

[Anjasa]

Anyone wanna vacation somewhere warm with me?

I've been doing fine on the 'depression' front lately, but the winter blahs are becoming a real issue.

[Adammair]

Vacation...? Warm...? Count me in, Anjasa.

But, oh, wait...I've got a job and college classes to think about. Ahh, screw the job...let's go! (Notice I didn't say "screw the college classes".) XD

[Sybl]

Do take Adammair.. (Please)  XD

enjoy your vacation Anjasa *hugs*

[Anjasa]

Ohh it's just a mind vacation right now.

http://www.theonion.com/video/today-now-save-money-by-taking-a-vacation-entirely,20678/

I caught myself staring wistfully at a picture of blue sky.

40cm so far since Tuesday and there's another storm coming tonight. Jumwa's mom is heading to Dominican soon... I might stow away in her luggage.

[Sybl]

Here I am again. Emptied out, hurting and wondering why? Why do those who are supposed to love you get so much enjoyment out of ripping you apart? Living sucks at times.

[Adammair]

Here I am again. Emptied out, hurting and wondering why? Why do those who are supposed to love you get so much enjoyment out of ripping you apart? Living sucks at times.

*offers his warmest hugs* We love you, Sybl! Don't let the bastards win...

[Athos]

Here I am again. Emptied out, hurting and wondering why? Why do those who are supposed to love you get so much enjoyment out of ripping you apart? Living sucks at times.

I'm sorry that they've got you down, darling. Know that we love you very much. I'm here if you need me.

[Sybl]

*offers his warmest hugs* We love you, Sybl! Don't let the bastards win...

Thank you Adammair..they won't. *accepts hugs and love.*

I'm sorry that they've got you down, darling. Know that we love you very much. I'm here if you need me.

Thank you Athos. I knew that, it is why I posted here. I know you all understand, and care so much.