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An old story, of my own... me working with a craaaazy caller.

Started by Kalen, October 10, 2008, 08:08:00 PM

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Kalen

Kalen: Thank you for calling *international service provider*. How may I help you?

User: My mouse won't work, what is wrong?

Kalen: We provide internet support, sir.. this is outside of our normal
support.

User: I can't very well connect to YOUR internet without my mouse and icons now, can I?!?

Kalen: Hmm.. no icons? Ok, what happened, sir?

User: I clicked on something, and now my screen's all black, and
there's NOTHING TO CLICK ON! My MOUSE won't even show up! What do I do?!?

Kalen: What icon did you click on?

User: I think it said MS something...

Kalen: (amused) Is there any writing on the left, near the top, perhaps?

User: Let me look... Yeah! C, then some symbols!

Kalen: Ok, sir. Type exit, and it should get you back to Win95.

User: (pause) I hit Escape, nothing happened!

Kalen: (VERY amused) Actually, sir, you need to TYPE exit....

User: (makes noise on keyboard) (long pause)

Kalen: Sir?

User: Nothing is happening.....

Kalen: Did you hit enter, sir?

User: Uh.. no... (hits enter) Windows is restarting.. what does THAT
mean?

Kalen: (blessing the mute button to hide laughter) It means your
mouse will work again, sir

Glossolalia

Oh my God, Kalen, you've killed me with laughter.

I'll share a few of my own. :)

Gloss: 'Thank you for calling Charter Cable, my name is Jennifer, how can I assist you today?'

Customer: Yeah, I gotta ask you some questions about my bill. (Note, my supervisor was listening in to this call. He was right beside me).

Gloss: -Pulls up account- Okay sir, can you verify your name on the account, please? :D

Customer: -Pause- Sony.

Me: ... (thinking: WTF?! ) No sir, your name please?

Customer: -Gives name of digital convertor-

Supervisor: -Trying not to laugh- Just skip that part.



And another one.

Gloss: -Spiel-

Customer: Yeah, I wanna set up a new account.

Gloss: Okay! :D -Goes through process of locating address to see if we can service their area- Can I get the name of your city? (Note, I worked for mainly the Southern US).

Customer: Kentucky.

Me: ... No, ma'am, the name of your city

Customer: Kentucky

Me: ... No, the name of your CITY please.

Customer: Kentucky

Me: -Head desk, head desk- Name of your CITY please?

Customer: Oh, was I saying Kentucky? HAHAHA.

Me: -CRIES- :'(

And just a quick one... my room mate worked at the same place as me. The customer wanted to pay their bill over the phone... in, get this...

...

CASH.



"Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance"

Know who the quote is by, without google? Drop me a PM if so. :)

My O/O's

Inkidu

Some people aren't computer literate. Hell I don't even think I could run '95 anymore.
That was hilarious though. :D
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Will

Wow, people never cease to amaze.  Those were really funny! 
I used to work customer service for a national health insurance company.  It was quite a while back, so I don't remember many individual calls, but I do recall one lady.  She was from the calling zone I was assigned to, southern California, and she picked out my accent immediately (and I tried SO HARD to cover it!)  She apparently had a thing for southern men, and I really struggled trying to handle her.  Honestly, I was only 19, and part of me just wanted to go with it!  They randomly screened calls there, of course, so I just stuttered my way through it.  Needless to say, that job didn't last long.
If you can heal the symptoms, but not affect the cause
It's like trying to heal a gunshot wound with gauze

One day, I will find the right words, and they will be simple.
- Jack Kerouac

Glossolalia

Haha, that's too cute.

At first we weren't allowed to tell customers our location (Canada, and it was an American company) but eventually they stopped caring. Some people DEMANDED to speak to an American. So, we'd put them into the call queue, but we did warn them that we couldn't guarantee they'd get an American. It randomly put the calls to the first available rep!


"Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance"

Know who the quote is by, without google? Drop me a PM if so. :)

My O/O's

Will

Oh yeah, I know how that goes.  What I did was mostly Medicare supplement, which meant a lot of elderly people.  We had one guy that would call in and demand to speak to a male.  He would turn really nasty if he got put on with a girl, and since it was all random, it was around a one in two chance.  Ah, priceless.  I don't think any of the women he dealt with let it hurt their feelings; he was clearly a moron, and wasn't long for this world anyway.
If you can heal the symptoms, but not affect the cause
It's like trying to heal a gunshot wound with gauze

One day, I will find the right words, and they will be simple.
- Jack Kerouac

Inkidu

Quote from: Glossolalia on October 10, 2008, 09:09:10 PM
Haha, that's too cute.

At first we weren't allowed to tell customers our location (Canada, and it was an American company) but eventually they stopped caring. Some people DEMANDED to speak to an American. So, we'd put them into the call queue, but we did warn them that we couldn't guarantee they'd get an American. It randomly put the calls to the first available rep!



I don't mean to offend but unless you're say Ay after every sentence or have a very French accent How are they going to know you're not American?
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Glossolalia

Beats the hell out of me.

And I don't say eh. Though my very American best friend (TN- he has Charter! :) ) claims I say aboot. ;)


"Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance"

Know who the quote is by, without google? Drop me a PM if so. :)

My O/O's

Inkidu

If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Oniya

Here's a classic. 

I used to work tech support for an ISP, back in the days of modems.  (Anyone?  Anyone?  Buehler?)

Got a call in.

C: My modem won't dial.

Me: Okay, sir, is your modem internal or external?

C: Internal.

Me: (skips questions about blinky lights) Is it plugged into the phone line?

C: Yes.

Me: And that's the port marked 'Line', right?

C: Yes.

Me: (multiple questions, checking line, trying to send dialing commands to the modem)

C: Nope - not dialing.

Me: Okay sir, do you happen to know what brand of modem it is? (thinking maybe it's a really off brand)

C: Just a minute, let me look at it.

Me: (startled)  Is your computer open, sir?  (Not a bad thing, but unusual)

C: No, that requires a Phillips-head screwdriver, and I don't have one.  The modem's sitting on top of the monitor.  It'll still work there, right?
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

Inkidu

If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Oniya

Yeah, this was before then. ;)  2400 was new and fast.
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17