Frustrated with Lack of Writing Partners

[southerngambler]

I am struggling in finding partners to write with. Any ideas on how to meet more people? How to make my request threads more interesting and more likely to attract someone to write with me? Any tips on general?

[RampantDesires]

Hi there southern.  Sorry to hear that you're struggling with the partner search. It is definitely a labor of love and sometimes it comes down to things out of your control and can just take time for the right person to read your thread and respond :-(

You might consider picking one of your ideas that you're most excited about and fleshing out the character you'd like to play a bit more then putting it up in the One Shot Requests  This can be a great place to try out a general pairing or quick set up.  You could also try seeing if anyone there is looking for something similar to what you're interested in and approaching them.  I know it is scary sending that first PM, I still get flashes of nerves sometimes 'what if we don't match, they don't like my proposal, ect' but people are pretty nice here.  The worst they can say is no.

I think you'll find that once you find a partner or two others are a bit easier.  People can read your post history and see if you'll be a good match for them beforehand and are more likely to contact you. 

You might also try looking in some of the adult socializing games.  The Red Light District has some informal room setups where you can easily jump into write with other members.

Don't get discouraged!  There are people here looking for the supplement to what you are, it can just be difficult to make things connect.

[RampantDesires]

Doh, my bad.  I should have looked at the section that your request thread was in, I failed to notice that you prefer IM RP so much of my advice does not help  :-[

Just sticking with it is the biggest hurdle.

If you wanted to you might use a spoiler to provide a sample post so that potential partners can see what you're looking for in terms of length and feel in a roleplay.  Also clearly spelling out your expectations and what you offer a potential partner can be helpful.  Do you want to try and write every day?  When are you generally available?  Do you like things to be long term?  Do scenes just pause when one of you has to go and then you pick back up immediately or do you prefer to wrap and summarize and start a NEW scene next time?

These don't have to be set in stone preferences, people always like flexible partners, but it is also helpful to match with both writing style and set up preferences as well as kink.

Hope it helps!

[southerngambler]

Thank you for your advice. I am really new to all of this and it just seems overwhelming. There is so much to do.  I have recently started a forum request thread as well. I am also looking around some of the other areas of the site. I have never seen so many wonderful nooks and crannies in one site.  I am gonna keep looking though and hopefully I can find some like minded people. Many thanks again.

[Oniya]

Sometimes, just socializing in the less RP-oriented threads can be a help.  There are places to discuss movies, books, video games, table-top games - pretty much any hobby you care to mention.  While this doesn't directly bring people to your request thread, it gets you in touch with more people.  They see how you write, what you're interested in, and how well they get along with you.  If you have your O/Os and your request thread(s) linked in your signature, every page gives people another opportunity to see those links, and maybe click on them.

[persephone325]

One thing that helped me, was just taking some time to even get oriented to how much there is to do on E; all the various boards and places to socialize.

Several partners I've had in the past, I found through just random socializing. Or we were in a group game together and got to chatting about things. It also helps to just be a little patient (though I totally know how hard that can be) and someone can come along when you're least expecting it! ^^

I know that might not be too helpful, but it's just from my experience. :-)

(Also, ninja'd by Oniya...again! *glares at* :P)

[southerngambler]

Thank you. I decided to start exploring more of the site tonight in an effort to meet more people in just that way. While I am looking for roleplay I am also just looking to meet new people to discuss every day things with.  So those other areas will help with that as well. I am a really shy person in general, even online. I also sometimes struggle getting my ideas out clearly in conversation so this an exciting time for me to get out there so to speak and talk to people.

[persephone325]

Thank you. I decided to start exploring more of the site tonight in an effort to meet more people in just that way. While I am looking for roleplay I am also just looking to meet new people to discuss every day things with.  So those other areas will help with that as well. I am a really shy person in general, even online. I also sometimes struggle getting my ideas out clearly in conversation so this an exciting time for me to get out there so to speak and talk to people.

Oh, I know that feeling very well. Being shy has its drawbacks... :-(

I do very much second Rampant's suggestion of putting out a few messages to other members who you think might be a good writing partner. The people here are really nice about things. And those that aren't often get a wrist slap from staff.

I've been here almost 6 years, and I still get super nervous about initiating a PM to a potential partner. So, it's not just new members who are nervous! lol

[southerngambler]

I have reached out to a few people. Not much success but everyone has been polite, which has made it easier. I know these things take time. I just was not sure what to expect upon joining. I am learning as I go.

[RedPhoenix]

I would not be too worried if I was you. Elliquiy is a site where patience really does win out and your threads have not been up very long all things considered. Although I really have no idea how active IM RPers are anymore as that's not the sort of thing you can tell if you don't do it and I haven't in some time.

Personally I think some of your ideas sound like they could be a lot of fun.

As far as transitioning into forum writing goes the one thing I would suggest is maybe be open to writing longer posts at a slower pace? I think that's the one thing I read in your stuff that would turn me off from contacting you would be that you say you write a paragraph per post. Obviously if that's your preference that's totally fine but if you are open to writing more I think you'll get more potential partners.

Also please know that even those of us who have been here awhile and written a bajillion things don't always get a good response to our request threads. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with responses, sometimes I get none, honestly it all comes down to if the right person is also looking.

I do hope the culture shock adjusting to how things are done here doesn't scare you off. It can be a wonderful place if you let it come to you! <3

[southerngambler]

Thanks Red. IM role playing seems to be a dying thing sadly. I really love it and hate to see it go but it seems I need to get with the times. As far as the one paragraph per post thing that is regarding IM plays. So I will fix that later to make it more clear.  I am willing to do forums with a slower pace and more detailed post. I appreciate your input and honestly you saying some of my ideas sounded fun made my day.

[RedPhoenix]

Awesome! I started off as an IM RPer too, way way back in the day. The transition had some rough spots for me but it was worth it in the end. It turns it from more of a time waster into a hobby. :)

[MagicalPen]

If you look at the Off Site RP ad section you will see that there are a ton of people looking to RP through IM or Discord. You have to sift through it to what RP preference some one has (Email, g-docs, Discord, Skype, etc) but there are a decent amount of requests there.

Most people don't though - this is an E-RP Forum, so most people play via thread or PM. I would look around and start messaging people. Some of my best RPs/Partners have come from randomly PM-ing some one with similar interests to see if they'd  be interested in an RP.

[AmberStarfire]

I hope you're able to find some more writing partners here. :) I'd say give it some time and get to know people, and they'll understand you and what you want to write more. You'll probably find a smaller number of people would roleplay on IM compared to roleplaying on the site. Quite a few people out there only give out their IM details to someone once they know them well, and also because some people out there haven't always respected the IC/OOC divide when they've asked to IM roleplay. I think you're more likely to find a story sooner roleplaying on the forum until people get to know you more.

There are also varying degrees of plot and erotic content, depending on the person. It's worth the time getting to know like minds and seeing who writes what. A few other things I'd suggest are filling out your RP preferences in more detail (the ones that you bring up by clicking the link on your profile - you could also link to your O/O there). Also, there are those would frown at me for saying it probably, but your avatar is hard to connect with. If someone's looking for a RP partner to write a sexy story with, your avatar doesn't hint at that.

My advice would be to choose a portrait that isn't in a cartoon style and is either handsome, attractive or reflects what you're looking for. Make it look good because in some ways, it's like a sales point. Many women are quite visual, so you could try adding images into your O/O and request thread as well (the only thing with request threads is since they're in the left-most section of the forum, images have to be tame). My suggestion would be to aim for sexy over explicit, if you do end up adding any.

[southerngambler]

Thanks Magical. I have reached out to a few people via PM and have not had much luck, but people have been beyond nice. I am going to keep trying and see what happens.


Starfire thanks you the input. I thought the avatar was funny and picked it for that reason. I honestly never put much thought into that effecting the way potential partners were looking at me. I will look into your advice about it though and adding my o/o's to my preferences area. I am doing my best to reach out and meet new people via some of the other threads and socializing areas.

[vysethethird]

Honestly, I wouldn't judge a user's avatar like a book cover, but that's just me.


Though will be honest, IM's/offsite based ideas are going to be a miss and very little hits. I did start off that way for the first year, eventually decided to go with forums and had MUCH more success in finding partners. Again, it takes patience and sometimes a willingness to negotiate.

[Caitlin]

I am struggling in finding partners to write with. Any ideas on how to meet more people? How to make my request threads more interesting and more likely to attract someone to write with me? Any tips on general?

I've helped several people with the same problem in the past weeks, I see a common occurence in what makes them generally less attractive to approach than other people on E.

1. I noticed that you haven't really filled your Ons/Offs list. You'd be surprised how many people randomly click on your name and then click on your roleplaying preferences just to see if they make a match with you. I'd start with filling that up.

2. Your request thread does not really invite me to read it thoroughly. It'd help if you would add some pictures to go along with your story requests that spike the imagination. You'd be surprised how much a picture left or right do to inspire people to contact you. To give you an example of what I mean, this was my last request thread, within 2 days I had so many applications that I could close it already since I was already getting more than I could handle. I spend a great deal of time on polishing up my post before I post it so it's just about perfect. It does wonders to draw attention to the story I want to write. When partners see that you put a lot of effort into making a good request thread, it invites them to contact you faster since you're likely also going to be a serious roleplayer.

3. I'm sorry I'm bringing this up in advance, but your avatar... I assume you're an adult and not a kid. If you want to be seen as a sexy beast, then a quick win is to change your avatar to a sexy beast. I'd actually think twice contacting a woman who would use a similar avatar. E is about sexy writing or at the very least about mature writing. Once again, I hope you don't take offense, but that's how I view it. I've always believed that giving honest advice will get people further than buttering them up in sweetness.

4. Your post ratio, this is actually something you're doing well already. Personally I prefer active partners who can reply multiple times a week. One of the things I do is checking their post ratio. Yours is at a solid 3 per day, so that's a good thing, keep that up.

5. Join group games, it's the quickest way to meet a crap ton of people and get some good experiences with them. Some of my best writing partners originated from failed group games. I ended up contacting that person afterwards and we started a 1  x 1 thread based on the original group game ideas. It turned into one of the best stories I ever participated in. Group games are wonderful to learn new people and to spread your reputation as a good writer. There is not just one person who reads your post, but an entire group. Some group games also get a fanbase, which means that even more people read your posts.

6. Be patient, it takes time getting to know people here and to build up a reptuation as a trustworthy and solid writer. You're only a member for 10 days. I wouldn't grow concerned about finding roleplay partners yet, it just takes time for the fish to bite, so to speak. :-)

Good luck on E, I hope you'll have a great time here!

[RedRose]

I didn't want to say it, but yes, a nice avatar does help! Women are often visual, despite what used to be said... Pics are good as you were told, and indeed go for attractive instead of very graphic. It's a real turn off for many to chance onto a full page of porn gifs, especially worse if they're links you're supposed to clink on...

It can take time to find committed, stable writers you will get along with, but it's Worth the wait!

[Levi]

Hello love!

So let me tell you a little story, once upon a time.......no seriously! I was actually brand new to rp when I joined this site, I have never done anything like it, I'd never heard of it, I literally had no idea what to do. Which is why I can safely say to you. You will get there!!

I've been here since September and have met a ton of lovely people but it is about selling yourself a little! I would really recommend trying the non adult section i say this because it's a good place (from personal experience) to learn how to write here with others. I met a great writer there who was fantasticly patient even though I bugged him nearly every day with questions. From there I felt more comfortable trying my hand at the adult rp section and I'm still learning as I go.

[Oniya]

go for attractive instead of very graphic. It's a real turn off for many to chance onto a full page of porn gifs, especially worse if they're links you're supposed to clink on...

Just as a note (in case someone else happens by this thread looking for assistance)

Request threads are not allowed to have embedded pictures of porn.  Nudity above the waist is fine, but nudity below the waist or obvious sex acts must be made into links (use the [ url ] tag around it instead of the [ img ] tag) and have a clear NSFW warning.

On/Off threads are in the private section of the forum, so the embedding part isn't an issue, but do consider an advance warning near the top of your thread if there are going to be such images 'below the fold'.  This is all about politeness to the people happening by.

[Amaris]

I didn't want to say it, but yes, a nice avatar does help! Women are often visual, despite what used to be said... Pics are good as you were told, and indeed go for attractive instead of very graphic. It's a real turn off for many to chance onto a full page of porn gifs, especially worse if they're links you're supposed to clink on...

It can take time to find committed, stable writers you will get along with, but it's Worth the wait!

Yes, definitely avatar ;)

I want to reiterate that it can take time. I know what helped for me, was just getting my name out there and socializing. Some of the games and socialization thread was how I made friends. Friendships turned into talking about stories. Talking about stories turned into plotting and then TADA! I hope you get partners soon :)

[MagicalPen]

I guess my avatar rules me out then!

[Amaris]

I guess my avatar rules me out then!

I was hinting the same with mine

[Oreo]

I like funny avatars. They let me know the person has a sense of humor. ;D There are all different types on E!

[RedRose]

I love humour, and wouldn't pass on someone because of an avatar, unless MAYBE it is really horrible (none of those on this thread). I do think as first impression, better have something reprenting your style a bit more.