Corporate Terminology for Fun and Profit!

[Remiel]

So, Suspires and I were talking about corporate phrasology recently, particularly this site, which purports to teach English to English-as-a-second-language students by teaching them corporate buzzwords.  Naturally, our initial reaction was to shake our heads in despair, until I looked closer, and discovered that the incorrect answers were actually pretty epic. 

The fun didn't stop there, however.  Determined to milk every ounce of hilarity, I went and fished my tablet out of retirement and drew some really shitty (but hopefully hilarious) clip art to illustrate my mental imagery. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you--Business English 101.

1. Well, you've really got to hit the _____GROUND FALLING________________  (to start working hard immediately). There's no time to waste!



2. Moving ______FOURSOME_______________, (in the future) you'll be in charge of this project.



3. Mary, I don't feel like we're on the _____SAME WAVE________________ here.



4. Let's _______INTERMINGLE______________ (talk) tomorrow.



5. I'll take that _______OFF-SCALE______________  (We'll talk about that after the meeting.)




6. I'm super busy right now, I'll _________TOUCH FACE____________ with you tomorrow.



7. I don't have the ________BAND-AID_____________ (time) to take this on right now.



8. My plate is ________ROUND_____________  (I'm really busy)



9. Let's ________RIDE THE NUMBERS_____________ (analyze financial data) and see how they look.



10. We've got to think _______OUT OF THE BOXES______________ (We have to come up with some innovative solutions/ideas).

[Blythe]

*bursts into laughter*

I think "touch face" has to be my favorite out of these.

[Oreo]

*bursts into laughter*

I think "touch face" has to be my favorite out of these.

+1

[Madame Professor]

*bursts into laughter*

I think "touch face" has to be my favorite out of these.

Agreed! Touch Face is definitely my favorite!

[Cassandra LeMay]

Oh this is hilarious.  XD

Thanks so much for sharing this, Remiel.

[BAMF]

Oh man. This is best thread.

Touch face wins my vote as well.

[Caeli]

At first I was reading through these and thinking... "I know that sounds wrong..."

And then I realized they were mistakes.



... the thought process is absolutely hilarious. ;)

[Peripherie]

I didn't know you could draw Rem!

*giggles and giggles* This thread is ... brilliant!

[Suspires]

A+++ best link I ever inflicted on somebody trying to make them cringe.  Would harm again.

I should add, I don't even think the site is a bad idea--for ESL students I can only imagine that a lot of these idioms are frustrating.  But the malapropisms are solid gold.  Touch Face is good, but for most giggle-inducing answer+picture, I have to go with Moving Foursome.

[Aleph]

Hats off Remiel, that's magnificent :)

My favourite from my office was a flustered managers reading out a file name, grasping for the word 'underscore' and saying 'lowercase dash' instead.