Perverted Wishes

[Idachan]

Wish granted, you can polymorph into a six inches high plastic dragon with six large horns coming out of your forehead. And oh, it's your least favourite colour and a bad shade of it to boot.

I wish I could go on studying forever.

[Idachan]

Hrm Ixy's was more fun.

[Ixy]

You can, but they're all care-bears.  God help us all.

I wish I had an orgasm every time I sneezed.

[Zombie Apocalypso]

Wish Granted  You may have an orgasm everytime you sneeze however you will also have flying monkeys come out your nose every time you sneeze.

I wish I could live beneath the ground where goverment satellites would not be able to see me

[Lanzlo]

Wish granted. You are now immortal, and you don't need to eat, sleep, or breath. However, in the process of becoming immortal, you were declared legally dead, and buried. The dirt used to bury you has you pinned, and you are unable to dig yourself out.

I wish that I had the power to turn invisible at will.

[Idachan]

Wish granted. But although you have the ability to turn invisible at will, the process of turning visible is excrutiatingly painful and doesn't always work.

I wish I had a better internet connection.

[Hunter]

Granted but then your computer would fry.

I wish for Idachan.

[Brandon]

Granted but she is locked away in a cage inside my bedroom, and you have no idea where the key is

I wish I could finish this new homebrewed fantasy setting in a few weeks rather then the years it will take

[Ixy]

Granted.  But no one will like it.

I wish I could spend an afternoon exploring the Vatican's basement with impunity.

[Zombie Apocalypso]

Granted But while in the basement you get bitten by a holy rat but instead of getting closer to your god you get a incurable case of rabies....

I wish I could make people's heads explode.....

[Archangel]

Granted, unfortunately, yours is the first to go...

I wish I was a race car driver...

[Sethite]

Granted. But during your first race you had a crash that disqualifys you from races. Your team is sending you down and no one wants you.

I wish to be a president of United States.

[Zaer Darkwail]

Wish granted but during your first day in the office a terrorist assassinates you.

I wish to join perfect DnD gaming group (whit good DM's, book sources, dices, players, playing location and players moods etc)

[Zombie Apocalypso]

Wish granted, however you soon realize these DnD players are part of a DnD cult and you get arrest for suspicion of Anarchy and are never heard from again

I wish all the animals in the zoo would get free and roam the streets of California...

[Hunter]

Granted but then the "big one" would come and California would fall into the Pacific ocean.

I wish I could finally have a decent life.

[Lanzlo]

Granted. It's on the shelf, in the box that is impossible to open.

I wish life were more like it is in the movies.

[Lirliel]

Wish granted, your car is repeatedly blown up, your house the same and you are attacked by large men carrying baseball bats.. just like an action movie.

I wish I didn't have to go to work today.

[belsammael]

wish granted, you don't have to go to work because you get abducted by Vogon aliens who do all sorts of hideous experiments on you, sexual ones too, then make you listen to their poetry.

I wish I could travel through space without getting lost.

[Sethite]

Wish granted. You can travel all over the space...but only at you pc games.

I wish to be princess.

[Lanzlo]

Wish granted. You are forced into an arranged marriage to an ugly, inbreed moron with bad teeth for political reasons. By the way, you are expected to produce an heir within a few years, and you are closely watched to make sure that the heir you produce is actually his. Oh, and did I mention that he is lousy in bed?

I wish to be perfectly healthy.

[Bliss]

You are perfectly healthy; you have to manage this with a strict regimen of exercise and diet, no indulgences whatsoever, and since you wear a filtered breathing mask 24/7, nobody wants to look at or talk to you.

I wish I won't be without internet for the next 5 days.

[Amberghylles]

Wish granted, you gain the power to see and hear the internet from anywhere in your mind.  Unfortunately, you can't stop it to sleep or pay attention to anything in the meat world and spend the rest of your days in a hospital catatonic and insane from sleep depravation.

I wish I was a well-paid published writer.

[Lanzlo]

Congratulations! You just published your first book! However, because you were a ghost writer, you didn't get credit for it, and you're being paid very well to keep your mouth shut, and due to your contract, you can't write under any other name.

I wish I was a god.

[Ixy]

Granted.  You are Set.  You have been castrated, are no longer woshipped, and are buried somewhere in the desert of Syria.

I wish that I had a pet mongoose.

[Brandon]

Granted but it confuses you for a snake and the results arent pretty

I wish I could see into the future