Perverted Wishes

Started by Ellyssa, September 15, 2006, 11:50:39 AM

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Paradox

Granted, but it's moldy, rotten, and downright disgusting.

I wish I had pants.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

MusicNeverDies

.....I really just don't want to grant that one.
Granted, but they have a huge hole in the crotch that you don't notice until you're in public.

I wish I could get this stupid clasp to work.

Kalen

Granted... but your bra won't ever, EVER come off now. 

I wish that I could be on Elliquiy on the weekends.

MusicNeverDies

Quote from: Kalen on June 27, 2008, 12:53:57 PM
Granted... but your bra won't ever, EVER come off now. 

I wish that I could be on Elliquiy on the weekends.
Granted, but everyone really needed those two days away from you, so you end up losing all your friends because they get annoyed by you too easily.

I wish the fan would work in my room.

Paradox

Granted. It works so well that it starts working overtime, speeds up, and spins so fast that it comes loose and crashes down onto your head.

I wish I could've been there to see that.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Trickedout

Granted but two fragments of metal dislodge from the fan and hit you in the eyes as it happens so that you go blind and miss it.

I wish my TV would work.
"Set me off like Dynamite strapped tight around my waist!" - Rise Against

Paradox

Granted; however, it will only show fundamentalist Christian broadcasting.

I wish toilets didn't flush themselves.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

MusicNeverDies

Quote from: Paradox on June 28, 2008, 03:50:53 PM
Granted; however, it will only show fundamentalist Christian broadcasting.

I wish toilets didn't flush themselves.

Granted. But they stop flushing in general, and we are forced back into the land of port-a-johns.

I wish I had a stronger Muse.

Paradox

(The land of port-a-johns...sounds like a horrible idea for a movie, or a great idea for a book)

Granted, but your Muse becomes physically strong. Having a really buff Muse doesn't do you a bit of good, and in fact, it actually leaves you with even less inspiration since your Muse is always admiring herself in the mirror, working on her body, keeping her muscles toned, etc.

Oh, and she whoops your ass on a daily basis.

I wish I really could go back to the future.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Sethite

Granted. But the future is definitly screwed, because it's like a crossover of Mad Max and Terminator. Have fun.

I wish I had a PlayStation 4.
Truly, madly, deeply...

Paradox

I would've brought you one back from the future if you hadn't screwed my wish up  ;)

Granted, but it bursts into flames after ten minutes of being turned on.

I wish I could be a tree for a day.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

MusicNeverDies

Quote from: Paradox on June 29, 2008, 12:21:18 PM
I would've brought you one back from the future if you hadn't screwed my wish up  ;)

Granted, but it bursts into flames after ten minutes of being turned on.

I wish I could be a tree for a day.
Granted, but you're the only tree in a dog park. Enjoy.

I wish I had a dog.

The Great Triangle

Granted, but it's the world's most oversexed dog boy, and you can barely get any sleep at night.

I wish I had a cat.   :)
Meow!  I'm a kitty; made of fire.

Ons and Offs

Custos Morum

Granted, but it tasted very foul and gave you a stomach ache.

I wish women obeyed me without question

Paradox

Granted. Because they don't ask questions, they end up fucking all of your orders up since they couldn't ask you to elaborate or give instructions.

I wish I had a paintbrush that could paint things into reality.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Zaer Darkwail

Wish granted but sadly you need to get fey dust to paint to make it work so it is ordinary paintbrush until you get the paint.

I wish me and everyone in Elliquiy would get cool super powers and take over the world.

Custos Morum

granted. We all manage to take over the world. Alas, the equal power of every member, whitch is a lot of people, drives us into a full chaosdriven internal conflict, witch ends with everyone dead.

I wish for the perfect wish to be granted me.

Paradox

(that was what I was thinking for his fulfillment as well)

Granted. You wish for nothing at all, and thus find true happiness in your life thanks to your lack of desire. At one with yourself and the world, you achieve

Oh wait that's a good thing..damn..

Granted. Unfortunately, it's not YOUR perfect wish. It's a sadist's perfect wish, so you end up chained up in a painful servitude of torture for eternity.

I wish for...nothing! Game over!

Actually, I wish that beer didn't affect the digestive system so oddly.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Trickedout

Granted but as your digestive system becomes immune to the odd effects of beer it becomes unable to handle any other type of drink or even food. Enjoy your death.

I wish... That I had a tail!
"Set me off like Dynamite strapped tight around my waist!" - Rise Against

Paradox

Quote from: Trickedout on July 01, 2008, 09:37:10 PM
Granted but as your digestive system becomes immune to the odd effects of beer it becomes unable to handle any other type of drink or even food. Enjoy your death.

I wish... That I had a tail!

Granted. Someone shoves an unlubed, angry tiger up your ass; so far up, that only it's tail remains outside of your body. Enjoy the angry tiger in your bowels and bloody asshole!

I wish that Hitler would come back to life so I could punch him in the face a few thousand times.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Trickedout

Granted but to bring Hitler back from the grave the scientists had to genetically re-engineer him into something resembling the hulk on a major amount of steroids. The punches server only to piss him off and he kills you by sitting on you. Again, Enjoy your death.

I wish I had some spray paint...
"Set me off like Dynamite strapped tight around my waist!" - Rise Against

Custos Morum

Granted, but it's not in a spraycan, useless to you in it's current form.

I wish that my laptop would fall in love with me  ;)

Atlus

Granted. Your laptop now refuses to show you porn because the laptop itself should be all you need. You are now constantly inundated with IMs from your computer asking how your day is going.


I wish I could find an apartment in a good neighborhood for dirt cheap.
How profound such profanity can be.

<a href="https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=16848.0" target="_blank">Ons and Offs</a>

Custos Morum

Granted. Only problem is your not allowed to put any furniture in there, and you don't have gas nor electricity.

Kalen