The Desires I Hide in Shadow (M looking for F)

[ShadowSlider]

Shadow’s Secret Desires

Please Only Respond via PM

I should note right off the bat that at least most of these ideas are (and likely will be) intentionally on the vague side. I would most prefer to work out the details individually so that you and I can make sure we’ll both be enjoying the world we play in. Rather, these ideas are more the emotional core of the character I wish to play. If they inspire you with something to play off of, or they trigger a new idea all your own, please PM me. I’m very new to this site, so I welcome new ideas with open arms. :-)

As for me as an RPer, I love writing in first person. It really helps me get into, and stay into, the character I'm playing and is just all around more fun for me. I would like it if my partner would write that way as well, but don't let that stop you from PMing me if you only write third person. Regardless of perspective, the better you write, the more invested I'll be in the RP. I absolutely love writing in general, so good spelling and grammar are major pluses for me, but don't think that means you have to write a novel with every post. A couple paragraphs is good, and likely how much I'll be writing unless I hit a particular groove or the scene requires more/less. I'm also really only into forum RPs for now.

So far I've only got this one idea, but that will likely change as I spend more time on the site, and so this thread will be updated accordingly.

Idea #1: The War That Came Between Us
For years, our friends have been telling us to get together, and you and I have stubbornly refused, mostly because it’s funny to see the increasingly comical looks on their faces. But for me, it’s also because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what would happen if we do get together and it doesn’t work out. I’m afraid of it ending ugly and utterly destroying the best and closest friendship I have ever known.

But then the war began, and suddenly my entire perspective changed. My home was under attack, and all the things I was afraid of before seemed to pale in comparison. I told myself I was going to tell you how I felt, that I didn’t want to go off fighting without knowing what we could’ve had. But when you came to see me off, the words wouldn’t come, drowned out by a new set of fears. What was I thinking? Confessing my feelings for you on what could very well be the last time you see me? No, I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t do that to us. Instead, I vowed to use that as motivation. I swore to myself that day that no matter what the enemy could throw at us, I would brave it all to make it back to you.

And you know what? It worked. Three years later, the war is over and I’m on my way back home. But you can tell something’s not right with me. There’s a darkness in my eyes that wasn’t there before, a weight on my shoulders that’s invisible to everyone but you. You alone can see what the fighting has truly done to me. And when I see you, there are not words to describe what I feel. Love, hope, relief, terror, and pain. When you finally get your turn to hug me, I can’t hold it in anymore. My armor finally cracks and the tears start flowing down my face. I want to be with you now more than I could ever put into words, but how could you love me after what I had to do to get back to you?