F.A.T.A.L. (Extreme, GM/players needed)

[Hobbes1266]

F.A.T.A.L. is widely considered to be the absolute worst roleplay system ever created... I would like to play it if anyone is brave enough to run it. I have heard of only one instance of anyone actually attempting to play and it went... interestingly. The only way to get the game is through a pdf which can be found online. Would anyone like to take up the challenge?

[wander]

I have heard legends...  :D

Interested enough to want to join the party of players and see where things go, not a GM though. :)

[Hobbes1266]

Other players are needed too of course. I'd gm but I'm not brave enough to have the first game I gm be the abomination know as F.A.T.A.L. :P

[wander]

Sure, just putting my name in the hat, may attract others to join in the fun massive cluster this is bound to be...  ;D

[Hobbes1266]

We should also make it a rule that no matter what all characters should have to be at least sixteen and not have the pedophilia derangement as an option.

[wander]

*nods* Goes without saying.

[TheGlyphstone]

...I'm pretty sure I will hate myself forever for this, but how often do you find people who actually want to try and play FATAL? It's an opportunity I'd forever regret missing out on.

[Hobbes1266]

you typically find them never. I've only heard of one group actually playing. I don't think the creator even played it.

[wander]

You know it's a good one as it sounds like it's never been playtested...  ;D

[Hobbes1266]

When someone accused it of being a date rape simulator the only response from the creator was to ask where dating was involved.

[Yukina]

I'll join out of sheer curiosity (and possibly bile fascination). :)

[TheGlyphstone]

It's not like we actually need a GM to make characters, do we? Literally everything is randomly generated, including race and starting career. Chargen alone is likely to drive us gibbering mad.

[Hobbes1266]

Yeah not really a reason not to make characters

[Yukina]

Does anyone have a link to the pdf?

[Hobbes1266]

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi-pZvuxKLMAhXGsYMKHfnxDtUQFgguMAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.donatebytes.com%2Ffatal.pdf&usg=AFQjCNHGQd7ZmDpPs8BICMuABhBar1-9Ng

[wander]

I think I'm gonna start making a character tonight, random rolling.  ;D

[Hobbes1266]

I just finished and I can't even afford a tent for my character to live in lol.

[wander]

Character WIP;

Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide

Race: Human

Age: 27
Height: 68inches (5'8)
-6 Str, -4 Bodily Attract

Weight: 172 -8 = 164lbs.
mod: +7 Str, with height: Str +1, total with male mod: +31 Strength.

BMI: 29.6 (overweight)
-46 to Body Attract
(running total with male mod: -53 Body Attract)

Most Attractive Feature: Hair
(+6 Facial Charisma)
Least Attractive Feature: Face
(-7 Facial Charisma)
Overall: -1 to Facial Charisma

Skin Colour: Medium
Hair Colour: Dirty Blonde
Hair Length: 17-22", or middle of back.
Hair Type: Thick, Curly and Oily.
(-1 to Facial Charisma, running total with male -3: -5 Facial Charisma)
Eye Colour: Blue-Grey.

Breadth: 68 inches.

Vision: Perfect Natural Vision.
Facial Features: Eyebrows, weighing down the eyes, prone to manipulation, easily controlled.

Sexual Characteristics  :D

Areola Diameter: 1.5"
Nipple length: 1/4"
Tongue length: 2.5", may touch tip of nose.
Anal Circumferance: 5-6", normal manhood.
Manhood: 5.8 -14% = 4.988 inches long and 4.83 inches circumferance.

Foot Size: 8-9"
Fist Circumferance: 8-9"
Right-Handed
Head Circumferance: 23.63 inches

sanguine -2, choleric +2

Physique: 111

Physical Fitness: 123
+12 skill
sprint 61
Strength: 152
+25 skill
+25% damage
+5 Life Points
Clean & Jerk: 88
Bench Press: 176
Dead Lift: 264
Bodily Attractiveness: 57
-25 skill
Health: 115
+9 skill
+2 Life Points
-9 Intoxication/Vomit
62% Illness Immunity

Charisma: 111

Facial Charisma: 85
Vocal Charisma: 131
Kinetic Charisma: 110
Rhetoric: 119

Dexterity: 89

Hand to Eye: 86
Agility: 91
Reaction Speed: 89
Enunciation: 93

Intelligence: 105

Language: 117
Math: 75
Analytical: 113
Spatial: 116

Wisdom: 99

Drive: 63
Intuition: 142
Common Sense: 75
Reflection: 118

[Hobbes1266]

Troll ((4d100)\3) -40
But it would equal 24 at a roll of 192 which would be below the racial equivalent of 16. You may want to reroll.

[wander]

Thought so.

Yep, it's then very possible to be something like negative 20 in years with the system...  ::)

Off to a good start. ^^;

EDIT: After rerolling five times and getting less in every roll, I think I'm just going to reroll race and then start over...  ::)

[TheSithChicken]

I might have to get in on this action. Sort of like watching the Room. You know it's going to be gloriously awful.

[Hobbes1266]

Thought so.

Yep, it's then very possible to be something like negative 20 in years with the system...  ::)

Off to a good start. ^^;

EDIT: After rerolling five times and getting less in every roll, I think I'm just going to reroll race and then start over...  ::)

Do what you think is best  ;D

I might have to get in on this action. Sort of like watching the Room. You know it's going to be gloriously awful.

Of course l! The more the merrier. Still need a GM though.

[Hobbes1266]

Name: Emma Smith
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Birthday: 3/4/5076
Birth place: Capital city
Height: 5' 11"
Weight: 143lbs
BMI: 20
Most attractive feature: Hair
Least attractive feature: Face
Skin color: Tan
Hair: Auburn shoulder length straight medium thickness
Eyes: Blue natural vision
Mouth: Protruding lower lip
Breadth: 35.5"
Life points: 16
Armor: 14
Bench press: 92
Dead lift: 138
Intoxication/vomit: +17
Illness immunity: 47%

Sexual features

Areola: 1.5" medium hue
Breasts: C-cup
Nipple: 1"
Vaginal circumference: 5-6"
Vaginal depth: 6.09"
Tongue: 2"
Anal circumference: 5-6"
Hymen resistance: 42
No premenstrual discomfort no symptoms no cramp

Abilities

Physique: 95 skill -3
Physical fitness: 110 skill +6
Strength: 80 skill -10
Bodily attractiveness: 120 skill +9
Health: 70 skill -17
Charisma: 100 skill -
Facial: 108 skill +3
Vocal: 106 skill +3
Kinetic: 107 skill +3
Rhetorical: 87 skill -6
Dexterity: 121 skill +12
Hand-eye coordination: 123 skill +12
Agility: 121 skill +12
Reaction speed: 117 skill +9
Enunciation: 125 skill +12
Intelligence: 97 skill -
Language: 93 skill -3
Math: 108 skill +3
Analytic:101 skill -
Spatial: 86 skill -6
Wisdom: 110 skill +6
Drive: 111 skill +6
Intuition: 115 skill +9
Common sense: 104 skill +3
Reflection: 112 skill +6

Social standing

Gardener
Legitimate child
Serf
Illiterate
Sisters: 5 4th child
Single
Heterosexual
Debauchery: 3
Piety points: 24

Temperment

Neutral with unethical Moral
Sanguine: 71
Choleric: 20
Melancholic: 58
Phlegmatic: 37

Skills

Skill points: 96
1% must go to occupation skills
Weapon quarter staff 3
Tracking 1
Toxicology 6
Search 7
Parry 2
Nature trees 2
Nature mycology 3
Nature plants 8
Nature geographic 6
Nature fish 5
Nature animals 3
Haggling 10 +5 15
Herbalism 8
Fishing 6
Etiquette 1
Direction sense 6
Cooking 4
Climb 6
Agriculture 10 +10 20

Misc

Sprint: 68
Damage: -10%
Clean and jerk: 46
Average speach rate: 140 or 200 (50%)
Finger precision: 1/32nd inch
Brawling attacks per round: 2
Seconds to stand: 3
Deep sleep recovery: 2
Max speach rate: 240
Time to cast a spell: -8%
Max language: 2
Unfamiliar object assembly: 125
Hours relaxing: 15
Earliest memory: 3 years

Items

10 silver pieces
Apron
Backpack, leather
Blanket, wool
Bucket, metal
Fishing net
Flask
Flint
Shirt
Shoes
Trousers
Quarterstaff
Spade

[wander]

Hobbes or anyone else that could lend a hand, could someone total up my new human character's BMI, as I can't figure it out. ^^;

[Hobbes1266]

Sure just give me the numbers.

[Yukina]

I think I'll be dropping my interest.

[Hobbes1266]

Too horrible for you? I don't blame you.

[wander]

As in my above character post, it's 68inches height, 164lbs. :)

[Hobbes1266]

54.6408 which is 29.6408 overweight.

[wander]

Just wondering how you reached those numbers. :)

Just incase I make another character in the future.

[Yukina]

Too horrible for you? I don't blame you.

More like too much of headache :)

[Hobbes1266]

More like too much of headache :)

Basically what I meant. I understand. It's called the worst game system for a reason.

Just wondering how you reached those numbers. :)

Just incase I make another character in the future.

Weight

Just wondering how you reached those numbers. :)

Just incase I make another character in the future.

weight\height²×705

[wander]

I guess the height² was throwing me off. I'm pretty crap at math.

Well, I got a big guy as my character then! The book says 30+ and they won't be able to see their dingus if they look down...  ::)

29.64... A near miss?  :D

[Hobbes1266]

You're character is probably kind of muscular or fat depending on how your stats.

[TheGlyphstone]

I'm 7'5" and 368 lbs, for a BMI of 34.1. Tub'o'lard here, but I guess that's what Bugbears look like.

Working on rolling Skill Points now, apparently.

Okay, so I ended up with Gladiator as my career. Great. And with 2 s.p., I can't even buy a weapon. Guess I get a club as the only thing I own.

[Hobbes1266]

I'm 7'5" and 368 lbs, for a BMI of 34.1. Tub'o'lard here, but I guess that's what Bugbears look like.

Working on rolling Skill Points now, apparently.

Okay, so I ended up with Gladiator as my career. Great. And with 2 s.p., I can't even buy a weapon. Guess I get a club as the only thing I own.

Harsh man. I'm guessing you're a slave?

[RavenBlackmoon]

Is this still a go? If so I totally want in.

[TheGlyphstone]

Name: Ormvindr Vestlaugr
Race: Bugbear
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Birthday: 18/8/5052
Birth place: Hamlet
Height: 7' 5"
Weight: 368lbs
BMI: 34
Most attractive feature: Buttocks
Least attractive feature: Hair
Fur color: Black
Hair: Black, Straight, Medium Thickness
Eyes: Dark Brown Farsighted
Mouth: Protruding Upper Lip
Breadth: 44"
Life points: 31
Armor: 6
Bench press: 169
Dead lift: 253
Intoxication/vomit: -3%
Illness immunity: 58%

Sexual features

Areola: 2" medium hue
Nipple: 0.5"
Manhood Length: 7.8"
Manhood Circumference: 6.2"
Tongue: 3"
Anal circumference: 20"

Abilities

Physique: 97 skill -
Physical fitness: 94 skill -3
Strength: 150 skill +22
Bodily attractiveness: 39 skill -38
Health: 106 skill +3

Charisma: 102 skill -
Facial: 93 skill -3
Vocal: 71 skill -17 (always says Uh or Um)
Kinetic: 114 skill +6
Rhetorical: 113 skill +6

Dexterity: 78 skill -13
Hand-eye coordination: 67 skill -13
Agility: 62 skill -21
Reaction speed: 95 skill -3
Enunciation: 90 skill -6

Intelligence: 106 skill -+3
Language: 108 skill +3
Math: 84 skill -10
Analytic: 111 skill +6
Spatial: 119 skill +9

Wisdom: 126 skill +12
Drive: 126 skill +12
Intuition: 118 skill +9
Common sense: 156 skill +25
Reflection: 102 skill -

Social standing

Gladiator
Legitimate child
Peasant
Literate
Only Child
Single
Heterosexual
Debauchery: 9
Piety points: 49

Temperment

Neutral with Neutral Immoral
Sanguine: 72
Choleric: 51
Melancholic: 76
Phlegmatic: 67

Skills

Skill points: 130
74% must go to occupation skills
Acting (Drama) +12
Armor (General, Light) 15
Armor (General, Medium) 15
Armorsmithing 8
Blacksmithing 8
Brawling 0+3=3
Dismemberment 0+3=3
Divination (Anthropomancy) 0+3=3
Divination (Dririmancy) 0+3=3
Impaling 0+3=3
Law 0+3=3
Mangling 33+3=36
Sailing 0+3=3
Search 0+3=3
Seduction 0+3=3
Shipwright 0+3=3
Surgery 0+3=3
Tracking 0+3=3
Wrestling 0+3=3
Weapon Club 33 (Mastery)
Weaponsmithing 8

Misc

Sprint: 59
Damage: +22%
Clean and jerk: 84
Average speach rate: 155
Finger precision: 1/38 inch
Brawling attacks per round: 2
Seconds to stand: 3
Deep sleep recovery: 2
Max speach rate: 180
Time to cast a spell: +20%
Max language: 3
Unfamiliar object assembly: 500
Hours relaxing: 14
Earliest memory: 3 years

Items

2 silver pieces
Club

[TheGlyphstone]

Harsh man. I'm guessing you're a slave?

Actually, I'm a Literate Peasant. I figure he volunteered for the arena as a path to wealth and fame. Hasn't worked out so well...if I had to exert a backstory reason for his poverty, he's a great fighter but is absolutely piss-ugly, so no one likes watching him win/fight. The arena masters kept trying to kill him with harder and harder enemies, but he kept winning anyway and pissing off the crowd who wanted him to lose. So he just got unceremoniously thrown out with nothing, not even the clothes on his back.

Is this still a go? If so I totally want in.

The more the merrier. Or at least more to share in the misery.

[RavenBlackmoon]

Okay! Here goes a shot at the insanity of chargen..
Just read that if the GM is inexperience with F.A.T.A.L it is easier if we all role humans..

Nickname: Shit-Gasher
Race: Troll, Borbytingarna
Occupation: Bandit
Sex: Female
Age: 18 (puberty)
Birthday: 3/18/5082
Height: 7' 8" (91.8)
Weight: 168
BMI: 14
Life Points: 8
Armor: 11
Best feature: Lips
Worst feature: Mannerisms
Skin color: Medium Greenish
Hair: Ass Length Light Brown of medium thickness, straight and oily
Eyes: Brown
Breadth: 55 inch
Vision: Nearsightedness 200ft.
Facial Features: Mouth, big lips

Body Part Points
Left Foot: 1
Right Foot: 1
Left Lower Leg: 2
Right Lower Leg: 2
Left Upper Leg: 2
Right Upper Leg: 2
Groin: 1
Lower Torso: 3
Upper Torso: 3
Left Hand: 1
Right Hand: 1
Left Lower Arm: 1
Right Lower Arm:1
Left Upper Arm: 1
Right Upper Arm: 1
Face/Head: 2


Sexual features:
Areola: 6" Dark
Cup size: AA
Nipple length: 1.5 inches
Vaginal Circumference: 9-12 inches (thick manhood)
Vaginal Depth: 12.9 inches
Tongue: 4 inches (reach tip of nose)
Anal circumference: 7-9 inches (normal manhood)
Hymen resistance: 19
Heterosexual
Debauchery: 64 Receive Oral Sex

Abilities:
Physique:77 (-13)
Physical Fitness: 107 (+3)
Strength: 80 (-10)
Bodily Attractiveness: 34 (-44)
Health: 90 (-6)

Charisma 77 (-13)
Facial: 65 (-21) Ill looking
Vocal: 87 (-6)
Kinetic: 77 (-13)
Rhetorical: 81 (-10)

Dex: 84 (-10)
Hand eye 87 (-6)
agility 84 (-10)
reaction speed 90 (-6)
enunciation 76 (-13)

Int: 26 (-50)
language -5 (-99)               
math 39 (-38) Multiplication
Analytic 18 (-64)
Spatial 54 (-29)

Wis: 98 (0)
drive 98 (0)                       
Intuition 78 (-13)
Common sense 108 (+3)
reflection 110 (+6)

Other
Intelligence: Slow
Unethical Immoral
Sprint: 59
Damage: -10%
Clean and Jerk: 46
Bench Press: 92
Dead Lift: 138
Intox/Vomit: +6
Allergies: 1 (Hayfever)
Illness Immunity: 53%
Avg Speech Rate: 135 or 210 (50%)
Finger precision: 1/16th inch
Brawling attacks/round: 2
Seconds to stand: 3
Deep Sleep recovery: 2
Max Speech rate: 160
Time to Cast Spells: +40%
Unfamiliar object assembly: 12
Earliest Memory: Age 3
Hours Relaxing: 16
Youngest of 2 with one brother

Temperament:
Phlegmatic:89
Sanguine:38

Skill Points:
Aim +3
Balance:+4
Blind fighting: +5
Brawling: +15
Catching:+4
Climb:+4
Direction Sense: +5
Disarm: +3
Dismemberment: +1
Hide +12
Hurl +4
Jump +5
Mangling: +5
Nature, animals +7
Nature, beasts +6
Search +8
Silence +12
Smell +2
Spitting +1
Sprint +7
Tracking +5
Weapons 2 (specific)
Wilderness lore +2
Wrestling: +14

[TheGlyphstone]

Ahem. The proper term is Aedile. ;D

And nuts to that. Ormvigr the Butt-Naked Bugbear Bludgeoner will have his day in the sun.

(Tip: Keep all your percentages and fractions intact until the end of Chapter 3, you'll be modifying them constantly and interchangeably.)

[Hobbes1266]

We may not be able to find a game master or Aedile >:) I wonder if there's anyway we could make it a sandbox game.

[RavenBlackmoon]

By the time I finish making my character I am either really going to want to play or be so fed up that I never want to hear F.A.T.A.L. mentioned again.

Probably a bit of both.
And since I am a glutton for punishment probably the first option.

[TheGlyphstone]

I guess sandbox is technically an option, though it'd be very limiting in what we could do outside of random-encounters (which I am totally good with, since I get Advancement Points when I hurt people to get money).

[wander]

Hey Hobbes, can you check if I did the BMI correct in so far as modifying Body Attract in my character post back on page 1?

I haven't finished the character yet, but I find it wild the guy is overweight.

His RL BMI should be 24.9. Top end of the healthy range, but not overweight.

[Hobbes1266]

Hey Hobbes, can you check if I did the BMI correct in so far as modifying Body Attract in my character post back on page 1?

I haven't finished the character yet, but I find it wild the guy is overweight.

His RL BMI should be 24.9. Top end of the healthy range, but not overweight.

You have the modifiers right.

[wander]

Righto, I'll keep going later. I have the sexual characteristics to do now. ^^;

I just now he's gonna end up with flapping burger nipples and a maggot dingus...  :D

[Thorne]

Nine post-its and a couple of exploded brain cells later, I have one of the least-sensical characters I've ever created.
Now I'm just wondering if I can salvage her into a useful concept.

[Hobbes1266]

Nine post-its and a couple of exploded brain cells later, I have one of the least-sensical characters I've ever created.
Now I'm just wondering if I can salvage her into a useful concept.

Welcome to Fatal ;D

[wander]

My character's Dingus is near 5" long, but also near 5" around...

Bite the pillow, anal fissures incoming!  :D

[TheSithChicken]

Been reading FATAL character creation while on the train home and the creator is a madman. I'd heard the reactions and read the reviews but damn. I live with a schizophrenic and I've never seen this level of non-logic. It's insanity. I am so stoked to make a character tonight.

[Thorne]

Completely. Batshit. Insane. I haven't done this much math to create a character ever. Not even in 2e.

I'm still translating all those post-its to something coherent, but the results shook out to a peasant girl with two sisters, (unhappily) married, gifted-level smart, E/M on the 'alignment' scale.. and she's a bandit.
. .. ... The dice don't like coherency at all.

[Hobbes1266]

Been reading FATAL character creation while on the train home and the creator is a madman. I'd heard the reactions and read the reviews but damn. I live with a schizophrenic and I've never seen this level of non-logic. It's insanity. I am so stoked to make a character tonight.

I hope you have fun with the madness.

Completely. Batshit. Insane. I haven't done this much math to create a character ever. Not even in 2e.

I'm still translating all those post-its to something coherent, but the results shook out to a peasant girl with two sisters, (unhappily) married, gifted-level smart, E/M on the 'alignment' scale.. and she's a bandit.
. .. ... The dice don't like coherency at all.

Um... well then... maybe... her husbands a bandit and he makes her be a bandit too? ???

[TheSithChicken]

This whole system is an exercise in madness. Either the man who made it is certifiably insane and this journals his descent into misogynistic, mathmatical hell or he is the greatest troll the rpg community has ever known.

[Hobbes1266]

This whole system is an exercise in madness. Either the man who made it is certifiably insane and this journals his descent into misogynistic, mathmatical hell or he is the greatest troll the rpg community has ever known.

Why can't it be all of that?  ;D

[Thorne]

I hope you have fun with the madness.Um... well then... maybe... her husbands a bandit and he makes her be a bandit too? ???

That's one way to look at it. I figured her husband was into something she found objectionable (selling to kinder-fresser trolls?) and she had left him to try and find someone to help her bring him to justice. Only, it didn't work out the way she wanted it to... I'unno. I definitely don't think she enjoyed her time with him.

[Hobbes1266]

That's one way to look at it. I figured her husband was into something she found objectionable (selling to kinder-fresser trolls?) and she had left him to try and find someone to help her bring him to justice. Only, it didn't work out the way she wanted it to... I'unno. I definitely don't think she enjoyed her time with him.

I'm sure whatever you come up with will be good I was just throwing out my first thoughts. :P

[Thorne]

Lottie Barham
(Human bandit, female)
Middle child, three sisters, in the town of Pigshire. Turned to banditry after being married to a fat old merchant who couldn't satisfy her (and maybe some other stuff).

Hair: Albino-blonde, kinky-curly, 16" long. Blade-eyebrows
Eyes: Black
Skin: Tanned
Vision: Perfect
Height: 5' (60")
Weight: 108lbs
BMI: 21
Breadth (Armspan): 30"

Crunch

Armor: 13
Life Points: 19

Most Attractive Feature: Chest.
Least Attractive Feature: Hair
Sexual Characteristics:
Areola: 3"
Hue: Medium
Cup Size: C
Nipple Length: 3/4"

Vaginal Circumference Potential: 6-8"
Vaginal Depth: 6.15"
Hymen Resist: 52
Anal Circumference: 8-10"
Tongue Length: 3" (Tip may touch chin)
Debauchery rating: 79

Disposition: Sanguine/Phlegmatic
Sanguine: 79
Choleric: 65
Melancholic: 41
Phlegmatic: 35

Abilities:

Physique: 98
Physical Fitness: 74
   Skill Mod: -13
   Bodily Attractiveness: -13
   Sprint: 48

Strength: 90
   Skill Mod: -6
   Damage: -6%
   Clean and jerk: 49
   Bench: 99
   Dead Lift: 148

Bodily Attractiveness: 122
   Skill Mod: +12

Health: 96
   Skill Mod: -3
   Intox/Vomit: +3
   Allergies: 1 (Allergic to Mammals)
   Illness Immunity: 55%

Charisma: 99
Facial: 80
   Skill Mod: 8-10
   Description: 'Plain'

Vocal: 96
   Skill mod: -3
   Description: 'Normal'

Kinetic: 95
   Skill mod: -3
   Description: Ordinary

Rhetorical: 127
   Skill Mod: +14
   Avr. Speech Rate: 162 or 177 (50%)


Dexterity: 96
Hand/eye Coordination: 98
   Skill mod: -
   Finger Precision: 1/16th"

Agility: 119
   Skill Mod: +9
   Brawl Attacks/rd: 2
   Seconds to stand: 3

Reaction Speed: 81
   Skill Mod: -10
   Deep Sleep Recovery: 2

Enunciation: 89
   Skill Mod: -6
   Max Speech Rate: 180
   Time to cast: +20%

Intelligence: 119 (Gifted)
Language: 93
   Skill Mod: -3
   Possible # learned: 2
   Vocab limit: 'Conversion'.

Math: 106
   Skill Mod: +3
   Highest Possible: Geometry

Analytic: 113
   Skill Mod: +6

Spatial: 107
   Skill Mod: +3
   Unfamiliar Object Assembly: 250
           

Wisdom: 96
Drive: 109
   Skill Mod: +6
   Hours Relaxing: 15

Intuition: 70
   Skill Mod: -17

Common Sense: 115
   Skill Mod: +9

Reflection: 93
   Skill Mod: -3
   Earliest Memory (Age 3)
   

Skills:
(... deep-seated fuckery)

.. I'm pretty sure I can salvage some of this, if no one actually wants to run a game with this cluster-fuck of a system. Which, you know, I wouldn't blame them, since there is apparently no such thing as a short-cut for character creation for the 'Aedile'...

[Hobbes1266]

Rolling up a character was bad enough.

[TheGlyphstone]

Actually, Appendix #6 contains a bunch of pre-generated characters. 10 of each race except Elves, whose stats he apparently just forgot to fill in.

[Thorne]

I didn't get that far. I figured I'd lost enough brain on creating one...

[TheGlyphstone]

I only discovered it because I had to visit Appendix Seven to randomly create my name, and accidentally didn't scroll far enough.

[wander]

I may or may not take a break from character building tonight, just to rest from the madness a bit... ^^;

I'll get there eventually though. :)

[TheSithChicken]

I know what you mean. It's maddening. My anakim is just all over the place.

[TheGlyphstone]

Oh man you managed to get an Anakim? Yeah, they're sort of the cream of the crop of the writer's bat-**** lunacy. Enjoy your +30 Debauchery modifier.

[wander]

My first character was a Troll, I managed to roll 96 for race but random rolling age (and I rerolled six times) didn't want them to be over 24, which is basically 15 in their years, so I started over and got a human.

Kinda gutted, there are some cool looking races in the book, I kinda wanted to play a Kobold.  ;D

[TheGlyphstone]

I only had to re-roll age once - got a 7 year old (teenage) bugbear, then a 44 year old (middle age) my second try.

[TheSithChicken]

Oh man you managed to get an Anakim? Yeah, they're sort of the cream of the crop of the writer's bat-**** lunacy. Enjoy your +30 Debauchery modifier.

Oh yeah. My character will do anything. +30 and I rolled a 96. Crazy ass debauchery chart. Being an anakim is why I have a 14" tongue and an abnormal hatred of bugbears being within 46ft of me. As opposed to my abnormal hatred of anakim being within 1 foot of me. This game is madness. I am losing sanity points making a character.

[TheGlyphstone]

Oh yeah. My character will do anything. +30 and I rolled a 96. Crazy ass debauchery chart. Being an anakim is why I have a 14" tongue and an abnormal hatred of bugbears being within 46ft of me. As opposed to my abnormal hatred of anakim being within 1 foot of me. This game is madness. I am losing sanity points making a character.

Racist. ;D

[Thorne]

That kind of thing is probably why they recommend picking one race.

And my girl's human. Apparently, humans hate everybody pretty well equally (the writers will probably go down in history as the biggest assholes anywhere...).

[TheSithChicken]

Racist. ;D

As long as you keep your hairy ass at least 47 feet away we're good! Making a character in this game may have broken me.

[Thorne]

His hairy, /nekkid/ ass - wasn't that the one that couldn't afford clothes?

[TheGlyphstone]

Yup. 2 silver coins and an improvised club to my name.

[Thorne]

Oh, right. I have to purchase all that separately ... yeesh.
As bandits go, clearly mine is going to be a weird one. Can't afford a useful weapon, and for some reason, clothing for females is expensive/non-existent (... really, guys?). So.

Robe, sandals and a whip. Because, why the hell not. Good thing she's a bandit. She might be able to roll somebody for better clothes. Or, you know, something to make underwear out of. O.O

[Hobbes1266]

Oh, right. I have to purchase all that separately ... yeesh.
As bandits go, clearly mine is going to be a weird one. Can't afford a useful weapon, and for some reason, clothing for females is expensive/non-existent (... really, guys?). So.

Robe, sandals and a whip. Because, why the hell not. Good thing she's a bandit. She might be able to roll somebody for better clothes. Or, you know, something to make underwear out of. O.O

Ha! Underwear... you're funny. That's just too expensive. We're going commando here!

[TheGlyphstone]

The only suit I need is the one I got for my birthday.

(Actually, I really need armor, because I'm immensely fat and incredibly un-agile).

[RavenBlackmoon]

I'm a troll. I hate everyone but hate my own species slightly less. Forget trying to make a plot, seeing us trying to kill eachother should be amusing enough.

[schnookums]

I'm tempted to ask to jump in on the madness train you've all created. I think I would have to go with the Hunter S. Thompson charge method (Consume all the drugs within arms reach, and whatever you find written by yourself when you wake up is your character)

[TheSithChicken]

That is literally the only way you can make a character in this system.

[Thorne]

You forgot 'throw all the dice'. Just, literally .. throw all of the dice. Whatever you find later...

I'm starting to think this is one of those parties where a deity stands up and goes, 'right, so I need you and you and ... ugh. No, /you/, and you three, to do this thing. There's this cursed temple over on the next continent, I want you to uncurse it. Whoever's left gets to keep the shiny objects. What do you mean, details? I chose you, you can handle it! Now scoot. I'm busy. And don't kill each other, damnit!'

.. which, really, is the only thing that really explains this.

[TheGlyphstone]

You forgot 'throw all the dice'. Just, literally .. throw all of the dice. Whatever you find later...

I'm starting to think this is one of those parties where a deity stands up and goes, 'right, so I need you and you and ... ugh. No, /you/, and you three, to do this thing. There's this cursed temple over on the next continent, I want you to uncurse it. Whoever's left gets to keep the shiny objects. What do you mean, details? I chose you, you can handle it! Now scoot. I'm busy. And don't kill violently murder-rape each other, damnit!'

.. which, really, is the only thing that really explains this.

Fixed that for you.

[Hobbes1266]

Fixed that for you.

Good catch. Very important and accurate correction.

Yeah it might be simpler to just have it be sandbox maybe with some gm events. People may need to reroll characters if they die.

[wander]

Reroll a character when you die?  :o

Death is the only freedom from such horrors!  :D Let us not go through character generation a second time, I am still in the midst of it!  :D

Slowly chipping through it, but damn I thought Bleach d20 Classless was crunchy... I love how very unlikely half the things we're rolling will probably come into play... For example, does nipple length really matter?  :D

[TheGlyphstone]

Was gonna say, you expect people to endure this horror twice?


Keeping in the style of the GM-as-written, I think a blatantly railroady 'the Gods decree you may not harm each other until this quest is complete' decree will work just fine.

[RavenBlackmoon]

-raises hand- My troll doesn't believe in gods.. Nor does she understand language.

[Thorne]

Does she believe in not being randomly stabbed with agony..? I don't get the impression that even the 'good' deities in this setting are very nice when they want something done.

[TheGlyphstone]

That just makes the railroading all the more appropriate then, doesn't it?

Whenever a philosopher comes in and says the gods don't exist, "We find their sandals later, still smoking, with a little sign saying, 'Yes, we do.'"

Though considering this is FATAL, I suspect there is less 'sandals'/'smoke' and more 'orifices'/'bleeding'.

[Thorne]

 With the blood spelling out whatever message they wanted sent. *Sage nod*

... y'know, if we're not careful, we're gonna out-grimdark Warhammer.

[RavenBlackmoon]

Random blinding pain might get her to not kill the others. She does have a decent reflection score so she should be able to learn not to do what keeps hurting her

[TheGlyphstone]

Combined with magic telepathy or something. Just because she doesn't speak any languages doesn't mean the gods can't choose to communicate with her if they want to (Then back up their decrees with agonizing pain).

[RavenBlackmoon]

I noticed a trial game in the back for level 1 adventurers. I didn't read through it so its secrets are safe. Maybe we could attempt to use that?

[TheGlyphstone]

It's only about 3 pages long, and mainly seems to consist of two combat encounters, but it'll give us a starting point.

Also, the boss villain of the adventure is a sorcerer named Seaman. Is anyone surprised?

(Oh, and take a look at page 975. Is that not the face of a serial killer?)

[RavenBlackmoon]

I for one say kill the Seaman! -grabs all the spermicide-

[TheGlyphstone]

...so I happened to scroll through the 'Running a Game' section, and it suggests that the Aedile always be seated higher than the players, so that they are literally required to 'look up to him' at all times.

Also, there is a magical seed you can eat called the Rapeseed of Raping. Want to guess what it compels the person eating it to do?

[Thorne]

I don't think I need to guess.

[Hobbes1266]

...so I happened to scroll through the 'Running a Game' section, and it suggests that the Aedile always be seated higher than the players, so that they are literally required to 'look up to him' at all times.

Also, there is a magical seed you can eat called the Rapeseed of Raping. Want to guess what it compels the person eating it to do?

I'm sure it has nothing to do with rape.

Who would run the seaman encounter thing?

[TheGlyphstone]

between its simplicity and how short it is, I don't think we need someone besides us. With the insane version of Initiative this game uses, whoever happens to be 'up next' could just use the dice roller for Seaman or its minions against a mutually agreed/random target or something. There certainly isn't an actual' plot' to the 'adventure' we need to keep secret.

[wander]

And I still haven't completed my character yet! xD

I've given him little spoiler tags to place all those 20 stats in, been psyching myself to actually roll them and total how much of a spud he'll be...  XD

First though I'm gonna drink some lemonade and not think about it.  ;D

[schnookums]

My goal is to create a terrible spell caster to keep having spell fumbles just in the desperate hope that I'll accidentally cast FATAL and destroy the world, thus ending our pain.

[Hobbes1266]

My goal is to create a terrible spell caster to keep having spell fumbles just in the desperate hope that I'll accidentally cast FATAL and destroy the world, thus ending our pain.

You're a good person... hopefully you're successful.

[Thorne]

And be therefore doom- wait. No, that spell takes out /all the things/. Nevermind.

[pcnovaes]

is the game going already? is there a gm? i got curious after reading about how bad the system was. I mean, it can't possibly be THAT bad.

[TheGlyphstone]

is the game going already? is there a gm? i got curious after reading about how bad the system was. I mean, it can't possibly be THAT bad.

Yes. Yes it can be that bad.

We have no GM, or game right now, and are currently discussing the options for running a GM-less game if we cannot find a volunteer for that thankless job.

[RavenBlackmoon]

And some of us are still struggling through character creation.

[Thorne]

Even the ones who could have sworn we were done. Ugh.

... I need to get back into that, but the numbers.. the numbers, they hurt my head...

[wander]

Finally started working on the sub-attributes, rolling them up and seeing how good and bad my character is at things...

I actually rolled really well considering, nothing too major but most over average at least. He's still a complete thugly guy but then he's also big and strong even if he does have a face only a mother could love.  XD

[pcnovaes]

well, i can gm. guess it's better than writing two paragraphs of backstory.

[TheGlyphstone]

Backstory? We dont need no steenking backstory!

[Hobbes1266]

well, i can gm. guess it's better than writing two paragraphs of backstory.

If you're willing to GM... you're more than welcome to. If you need any help just ask, FATAL is horrible to make characters for, I assume running it is at least as bad.

[pcnovaes]

I think the players should stick to humans unless everyone wants to make an evil character. All other races either hate or eat humans, the elves never leave their forest and dwarfs can't take sunlight.

[RavenBlackmoon]

But but... I have been working for about a week on my Troll character already...

[Thorne]

I was wondering whether that would come up. Now I'm glad I rolled a human... >.>

Raven, grab one of the pre-mades? Might be easier than shattering your brains all over the character generation rules again?

[RavenBlackmoon]

If we are switching to human I am stealing a pre-made. Where can I find those characters, Thorne?

[Thorne]

Ahhh.. Appendix.. 6. Yes. Appendix 6.
Humans appear to be on page 941.

[pcnovaes]

Backstory? We dont need no steenking backstory!

every game I ever tried to play on this site required at least two paragraphs of back story, so i'm glad to see someone who thinks the same way as I do.

well, i was going to say you could choose some aspects of your characters so you don't end with an aberration. nothing against aberrations, of course, but no one likes to play as an ugly character.

[RavenBlackmoon]

Can we maybe do a quick sandlot game where all the people who bothered to create non human characters can rape and kill each other off first? After going through all the trouble I want to use that character, even if only briefly.

[pcnovaes]

sure, why not. it'll also help everyone to get used to the system. or give up after seeing what a total mess it is.
so, where are the characters?

[RavenBlackmoon]

Scattered through this thread.

[pcnovaes]

So Hobbes1266 shall create the game thread in extreme:small groups. the players can post the characters at the begining(I don't think we need a separate thread for the characters, since it's a test run.) and then we can start playing.

[RavenBlackmoon]

My character is on page 2 or 3. Does anyone see anything I am missing?

[pcnovaes]

so we have two humans, two trolls and an exiled bugbear?

[pcnovaes]

did you know aged urine prevents things from catching fire? I'm really laughing reading through the book.

anyways, i think i though of a plot that maybe will put the characters together.

[Hobbes1266]

https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=248384.msg12279388#msg12279388

[Hobbes1266]

did you know aged urine prevents things from catching fire? I'm really laughing reading through the book.

anyways, i think i though of a plot that maybe will put the characters together.

Don't you mock him! He went to three different Wikipedia pages to research that!

[Thorne]

Don't you mock him! He went to three different Wikipedia pages to research that!

*laughs ass off* That would explain some of the other pearls of wisdom in this book...

You can use old urine like bleach, btw. It's also a tanning agent...

[TheSithChicken]

I think the players should stick to humans unless everyone wants to make an evil character. All other races either hate or eat humans, the elves never leave their forest and dwarfs can't take sunlight.

But - but I just spent all this time (and braincells and money on liquor) rolling up my anakim with his 14" tongue! I don't know if I have it in me to make another character.

[TheGlyphstone]

I think the players should stick to humans unless everyone wants to make an evil character. All other races either hate or eat humans, the elves never leave their forest and dwarfs can't take sunlight.

It's FATAL. Everyone is evil, including the humans. We don't even have to try and kill other races on sight unless we happen to roll that particular trait randomly; the only really 'problematic' race is Anakim with their hyper-random qualities.

[TheSithChicken]

And I can re-roll my abnormal hatred of bugbears or just lose the trait.

[Hobbes1266]

*laughs ass off* That would explain some of the other pearls of wisdom in this book...

You can use old urine like bleach, btw. It's also a tanning agent...

Technically I believe piss was one of the ingredients they used to use in hair bleach... I want to say back during the Roman empire.

[pcnovaes]

ok, i said the players should make humans to make things easier. since everyone already made the characters let's go with them.
i thought of a way to unite everyone. something like a common enemy.

[Hobbes1266]

ok, i said the players should make humans to make things easier. since everyone already made the characters let's go with them.
i thought of a way to unite everyone. something like a common enemy.

Is the enemy the creator of the game? He's an enemy I could get down with killing.

[pcnovaes]

now, just because it's bad doesn't mean you have to take it personaly. the key for us to enjoy this is laugh and dive head first into the madness.
btw, there are only two characters at the thread. where are the rest?

[Thorne]

Still in progress, last I saw.

Not sure Hobbes was serious, but the dude's picture is in the back of the PDF, and he'd make a /fantastic/ face-claim for a villain. It's in the expression. o.O

[RavenBlackmoon]

I will transfer mine next time I have access to a computer. I don't trust mobile not to muck it up.

[TheSithChicken]

I haven't had enough aclohol time to finish my character just yet. Been busy prepping for the Vampire LARP I'm running tomorrow. I can get my character finished Sunday.

[Hobbes1266]

*brings darkprince a bottle of scotch time.* will this help?
I was totally kidding but we should definitely use his face for the big bad evil giy.

[wander]

Okay, back from a small hiatus ^^

I shall attempt tomorrow to further my character along and get him more complete then. :)

[pcnovaes]

So, can we start the game?

[RavenBlackmoon]

I think I am ready