Pirates, Ninjas, Aliens, Zombies

[HannibalBarca]

All right, the last time I played this was in a forum at my alliance's page in an online wargame.  The objective is to post your preferred group--pirate, ninja, alien, or zombie--and with an action that defeats the prior poster's group.

Example:

Post 1:  Ninjas rule!

Post 2:  My aliens beam your ninjas aboard and perform unspeakably horrific experiments on them.

Post 3: Zombies aren't affected by alien mind control--they have no minds--and run rampant on your ship, then survive the crash, because they are already dead.

Post 4: Pirates have sharp thingies with which to slash your slow-witted zombies to pieces.

Post 5: The ninjas blow blinding powder in the pirates faces, then make short work of them.


ad nauseum...

You can reply to any group with a different group, but not the same group twice in a row.




I shall begin with...

Ninjas.  They'd make a mighty show of their swordsmanship, but they take their nigh-invisibility seriously.

[Ariel]

Dang! I wanted to do ninjas. ;-;

Good luck trying to kill my zombies, they'll just resurrect again and eat your sushified brains! ::)

[HannibalBarca]

My aliens then zap you with their heat-rays, roasting you into stinky undead ashes!

[rafoka]

my pirates shoot down your heat ray with their cannons, blowing your aliens to bits

[Ariel]

My ninjas burst forth from the shadows and it's off with your arms! Aye mates, looks like ye needs a hook or two.

[Tersius]

My aliens materialize right beside your ninjas with their teleporting technology, and latch on with their face tentacles! They quickly dine on the ninjas brains and are victorious!

[rafoka]

My zombies shuffle over to your aliens stealing the brains and then finishing off the aliens,  ripping them to shreds before devouring  them

[Daoine Sidhe]

My incorporeal aliens bomb the zombies from orbit using 100-megaton nuclear bombs.

[rafoka]

My ninjas flip themselves up to your ship and silently chop the heads off your aliens

[Daoine Sidhe]

My incorporeal aliens bomb the zombies from orbit using 100-megaton nuclear bombs.

;)

My second-wave aliens notice the failure of the first-wave to report in, and immediately active the built-in self-destruct system on the ship, blowing the ninjas to tiny little bits.

[Moraline]

My NINJAs have been practicing fruit ninja for days now so they slice and dice the aliens.

[HannibalBarca]

My pirates sidle up to your ninjas, impress them with their couterie, invite them to an onboard-ship party, drink them under the table with straight rum, then steal their ninja outfits and feed 'em to the sharks, aye, me hearties!

[Stella]

My zombie sharks chew through the hull of the pirate ship and devour the pirates-dressed-as-ninjas within!

[Moraline]

My Alien spacecraft swoop in and turn the water to fire and make shark steak.

[Oreo]

My zombies (the quick kind) latch on to your swooping alien ship, manage to accidentally activate the airlock, gain entrance and dine on alien brainz.

[Moraline]

My Pirates board the space ship, open the top, flip it upside down and dump all the zombies out.

[King Serperior]

My aliens used their mecha-walkers to stomp the pirates into goo.  Bwa-hahaha

[Moraline]

Once the ship lands again my Ninja's plant bombs and blow it up with all the alien mechs inside. 

[King Serperior]

My Zombies walk through the explosions.  Many are destroyed, but bombs are designed to deal collateral damage and nonlethal, but disabling shrapnel damage.  As Zombies are unaffected by that, they make it to your ninjas and eat them.  GG, ninjas!

[HannibalBarca]

Fortunately, my pirates are armed with cutlasses, which lop off zombie heads most efficiently.

[King Serperior]

My ninjas throw smoke bombs around the pirates, causing them to panic and fire wildly, killing many of their own and wounding others in a barrage of friendly fire.  The Ninjas then come in low, so as to dodge any unexpected fire and procede to gut the remaining pirates with their katanas.

[Oreo]

My aliens empty their plasma ports vaporizing the nearby ninjas.

[King Serperior]

Because Plasma is primarily designed not to kill, but to maim and deal extreme and incapacitating pain to the target, my Zombies, who cannot feel pain, march their way to the aliens and rip them to shreds.

[Oreo]

My remaining Aliens awaken from their cryogenic sleep, swoop the ship back into space, then turn off the inertial dampeners and watch the unprepared zombies slam into the bulkhead (ala Spaceballs).

[King Serperior]

My Ninjas knew what was coming and locked themselves down before you stopped the ship.  They then quickly made their ways to the control rooms and locked the doors.  Then, they opened all the air locks of every place but the control rooms and watched as your aliens turned blue (it they weren't already), jerk in space once or twice, and dye a cold, lonely death.

[Oreo]

Except for the queen mother who latched onto the airlock door and began spewing alien seed from her screeching mouth. This infested the ninjas with space fleas and left them writhing on the floor in a furry of scratching.

[King Serperior]

Despite all of that, the injected larva of the alien queen bursting through the chests of the zombies have no affect on them, neither slowing nor stopping them.  The zombies bury the alien queen under a pile of writhering bodies as she is torn to pieces.

[Oreo]

Her broken pieces begin to grow, each into a new alien as she absorbs the DNA of the zombies. The more the zombies rip the faster she spreads, decimating the mindless creatures.

[King Serperior]

The Ninja back on earth laugh as their plan starts working.  The alien was destroying the zombies very easily, but the corrupted and toxic DNA began killing the newly formed aliens from the inside out, causing them to explode in a burst of blue goo.

[Oreo]

The goo dripped into the computer console of the ship, merging and morphing the alien into a mechanical monster. Re-assimilating parts of the ship she transformed into a mega-godzilla, the alien bane and secret fear of all ninjas. With a laughing roar, her titanium toes curled and hurled the defenseless ninjas as she stomped the city to dust.

[HannibalBarca]

With a roar, the pirates cheered the Alien Queen, naming her as an 'Honorary Pirate Lady', and they partied away in their secret cove, plastered on grog and stolen Spanish merlot, until the Alien Queen unaccustomed to alcohol, suffered a stroke and died on the spot.

[King Serperior]

Despite the pirates' natural resistance to alcohol, they had drank enough that their coordination skills were off center and their volume increased.  With the increase in volume, my Zombie horde came in from all directions.  The pirates, though they killed a zombie here or there, were not able to fluidly work together and were, thus, consumed.

[Moraline]

My Alien scientists sweep in like crop dusters with a cure and all the zombies return to normal then go home.

[HannibalBarca]

Alien scientists are uber-brilliant, but uber-focused, too--far too focused to notice the ninjas slipping in to slip their knives into their backs.

[Moraline]

Unfortunately when you kill off the alien scientists... it halts the crop dusting.. and the Zombies return to exact their revenge. Your Ninja's get eaten up in the process.

[Mara Brewer]

Yet when the zombies begin to move on to eating pirates, they discover that the blood alcohol content of their foes is so ludicrously high that they actually begin to get drunk off of it.

Your zombies have stopped fighting. The ones who haven't passed out already have formed a circle off to the side of the field of battle and are thoroughly engaged in a game of Never Have I Ever.

[Randall Flagg]

The Aliens swoop in and burn off all the drunken zombies and turn any pirates still living into slaves to do their bidding.

[Moraline]

My stealthy Ninjas take out the Alien's navigation towers so they can't relay transmissions around and because they never have any windows in those UFOs they all die a fiery death by crashing into the sides of mountains. Ninjas FTW!

Stupid aliens, always crashing. *cough* Area 51 *cough* Get some windows would ya!

[HannibalBarca]

Ninjas FTW, true.

But even ninjas have to sleep, being alive.

Zombies don't and enter their compound when they are sleeping and eat their brains.

[Moraline]

My Aliens are as bad as zombies, no matter how many you kill there always seems to be more of them.  They swoop in, incinerate all the zombies with ray guns and take over.