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grdell's Weight Loss Blog - Week 11

Started by grdell, May 30, 2011, 08:28:47 AM

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Nadir

*hugs Gredell* Hope it gets better, hun.

grdell

Felt good enough today to go to the gym and get the hell beat out of me on the Gravity machine again. And this time...

I have, for the first time, felt a mind / body disconnect. The trainer has been telling me all along that part of the philosophy of this machine is to work the muscle to absolute fatigue - work it until it refuses to give any more. This has finally happened. He did something around the back of the machine that shortened the cable and increased the resistance. Then he had me doing some arm/shoulder stuff. By the third variation, I was having great difficulty even holding my arms up much less moving them. He wanted me to do something, I started doing it, and then my arms just stopped. It was an odd sensation. I imagine it must be a tiny glimmer of what it's like to be paralyzed - to tell your muscles to do something only to have them absolutely refuse to do it. The only thing they would do - and they even did this with a great deal of protest - was to relax. I let them collapse to my side while I sat there and panted. Then I drank a huge amount of water and did some stretching. Damn, it feels good to stretch after working out!

I have one more day of cardio, then my official cheat time, then Sunday off before it's a whole new week. I feel great so far, it's actually apparent to some that I'm losing weight, and I remain fully optimistic. It's true that seeing results is the greatest motivator!
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

Tschel23

True mind-body connection is a unique experience. That muscle fatigue is an odd sensation, but now that you've felt it, you know what it is. You are most likely going to experience a bit more soreness because of the amount of muscle tea-rdown that happens in order to replace it with newer, better, stronger muscle tissue.
'Oh, just to be in the warm glow of all this testosterone.' Farscape: Aeryn Sun Episode: Family Ties

grdell

Well, good news and bad news.

First, the statistics:

Weight: 219 pounds (Total of 11 pounds lost so far)
Waist: 46 inches (Total of 2 inches lost so far)

The bad news is that my cheat time went far too long and I indulged far too much. Thursday I had a big lunch and didn't cut back on dinner to compensate. I played a little loose on Friday. Saturday I had WAY too much during my cheat time and felt bloated for it.

Which leads me to Sunday and the good news. Yesterday I came so close to indulging again. I felt like binging and I almost gave in. Well, in truth, I did give in, but not with what I was initially planning on. I kept staring at the menu for the Chinese place just down the block from me, trying to justify the indulgence with the walk down there. Ultimately, I did indulge - but not with Chinese food. No. I ate a whole head of iceberg lettuce. Now, as some people are fond of stating, iceberg lettuce has very little nutritional value. Usually, I like to point out that water has absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever yet is still the most important thing our body needs. And iceberg lettuce is little more than water and fiber. Fiber! Hey, guess what? That's something else very important our body needs! Wow. Who'd of thunk it? Anyway, I figured that while binging was bad, binging on lettuce was a hell of a lot better than chicken and broccoli with fried rice. I still felt bad afterward - both physically and emotionally - but I also realized that I would have felt a lot worse on both fronts had I given in to my original craving.

So, all told, I sabotaged myself a little these past four days, and have a minuscule improvement to show for it. Do I look on this as a failure? No. I look on it as a motivator. It shows me what happens when I let my guard down and make excuses and justifications to myself. It makes me want to try harder. It makes me even more determined.

This morning in my cardio routine, I met one of my goals - 400 calories in 30 minutes. Now it's time to ramp the intensity up some more and set a new goal.

Today is a fresh new day and the start of a whole new week. Attitude is everything, and mine remains positive.
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

Tschel23

Attitude isn't everything, but it is definitely a big piece of the pie chart. Yours has been fantastic. Cheating happens, I know I was a bit of a help with that this weekend with that devilish chocolate cake. But it was your cheat day. You are still loosing, and if cheating yesterday was a head of iceberg, I think you'll be okay, sweets. Love you!
'Oh, just to be in the warm glow of all this testosterone.' Farscape: Aeryn Sun Episode: Family Ties

Anjasa

I find the best thing that keeps me from bingeing is to focus on how crappy I feel after eating something bad for me - physically and mentally. It helps keep me 'in line'.

grdell

Wow. That machine just keeps kicking my ass around the block and back again. Although significant progress is being quickly made and that makes me very satisfied. I'm ready to knock the level up to five for the lower body stuff already, since I was on level four today and able to do more than I was supposed to be able to do. I am also noticing a significant increase in range of motion thanks to extensive stretching, especially around the hips. I've always had very tight hamstrings because of my build, but my mobility through that area has increased tremendously in just three weeks.

I was true to my word and really clamped down hard on the diet yesterday with no extraneous eating at all. I kept myself well within my calorie limit and plan on doing the same today.

Results the best motivator? Absolutely. I am really starting to feel it now, more so than just see it. And it's a great feeling...
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

Tschel23

Mobility is great. Results are awesome! Yay!
'Oh, just to be in the warm glow of all this testosterone.' Farscape: Aeryn Sun Episode: Family Ties

Captain Maltese

Got a picture pf this wondermachine?

Posting status:  25th December: Up To Date 5 of 9 : last month 2, this month 5, total 38 posts for 2023.

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grdell

"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

grdell

Well, I know one thing for sure: the two elliptical machines of the type that I use are not calibrated the same. I usually use the one on the left, but on Monday, when I reported such significant progress in that area, someone was already on it, so I had to use the one on the right. When I tried to duplicate Monday's feat this morning back on Ole' Lefty, I couldn't do it. Don't get me wrong - I'm still seeing progress, just not that sudden jump I believed I had experienced. It just turns out that that machine is a good deal easier. It's the one on the left from now on so that I can more accurately track my progress.

My abs are sore as all hell from yesterday's workout on the Gravity machine, which is a good sign that I worked them and worked them hard. Every time it's something different, it seems. But then, every time I get on there, the trainer concentrates on a different area, so that makes sense. He's trying to prevent my body from getting used to it, since keeping it always new keeps the workouts at their most effective.

The diet got a little weird yesterday, but I'm not worried. I was out and about for a lot of the day, so it was my timing that got messed up. I usually try to eat every two to three hours, but yesterday that wasn't an option for over five hours, and I ended up having a little more than I should have when I got back home. I stayed under my calorie quota, though, so it's not bad. I'm just being totally honest because otherwise what's the point of keeping this blog? I have to be honest - to you and to myself - or this will never work.
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

grdell

I belive I am beginning to notice the inevitable: that my weight decrease is slowing down while my waist decrease is not due to build up of muscle mass. I have to wonder what my final weight will be when I reach my goal of a flat stomach, and how disappointed my idiot doctor will be when it's still an "unacceptably high" BMI. I'll tell him to shut the hell up and find another doctor if he says that.

The reason I say this is because I got on the scale again this morning, out of morbid curiosity, and have noticed no significant decrease in weight, even though I continue to cinch my belt tighter. I wouldn't be at all surprised if my BMI remains high even after I reach my goal simply because I'm built like someone 6 - 8 inches taller than me. I'm just vertically compressed.

So yeah, diet went well enough yesterday, and cardio this morning was normal. The routine is becoming exactly that - routine - and therefore starting to get boring. I can see that if I want to keep my enthusiasm high, I'm going to have to start trying some new things pretty soon.
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

Izu

I'm like you - my weight has stopped going down despite my body shrinking. I'm the same weight as last year this time, but my jeans are two sizes smaller than last year's and are already getting big on me. That's why I pretty much no longer weigh myself but just take my measurments - knee, thigh, hips, waist, chest, biceps, neck. Try the same. :)

Why don't you spice up the workouts with some classes - tae bo?

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...Like reflections on the page, the world's what you create...

Oniya

*seconds what Izu said*  Martial arts are supposedly excellent for improving/maintaining flexibility, which you mentioned as a goal a while back.
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

grdell

Another day on the Gravity machine, another day sore as hell. Last time, we concentrated on core and abs and the next day my abs were sore enough to prove it. Today we focused on shoulders. I told him that it didn't matter how much my shoulders would hurt tomorrow as they hurt enough now. But, as I have said before, you can't argue with results, and results are definitely happening. My strength and flexibility have increased significantly. It even occured to me the other day that I had walked up the stairs and hadn't even noticed that I wasn't winded by it. Progress! Progress is good!  ;D

On the diet front, well... Yesterday was Thursday which is my knitting circle day, and that takes place next door to a really awesome Italian restaurant. When I went in to order something light for dinner, they were making gnocchi, which I had never had before. I caved and ordered some - but! - I did not finish the whole plate. And it had nothing to do with not liking it. I loved it. Everything there is really good. But the shift in my attitude away from always having to finish everything put in front of me is a huge advancement. I also didn't have any of the apricot coffee cake that one of the other knitters brought. My self control, while not perfect, is at least not weak.
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

grdell

Well...

Things are, as they say, less than perfect. But they could certainly be a lot worse. Yesterday I attended a party. I was weak. But I certainly didn't eat as much as I could have, so I was also strong. Today I did not go to the gym - but I went for a three mile walk. Compromise. It's all about compromise.

I can't post weight because I don't know it yet, but I did lose an additional half inch off my waist bringing it down to 45 1/2 inches.

Tomorrow I have the Gravity machine again, so I can't miss the gym then. That will get me back on track. I'm already good for the diet today so far, so that's back on track, too. I figure I have to be completely honest, and that includes posting my "less-than-success"es just as much as my triumphs, or this whole thing isn't going to work. But what I've been saying all along still holds true - keeping this going is keeping me going. Knowing that I have to be completely honest with all of you is helping me tremendously. I know that I wouldn't have made it even this far if I wasn't doing this and had everybody's support. Again, I thank you all!
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

GothicFires

One more inch and your waist will match my hips! But I'm on board with you now. I need to knock about about 50 pounds off my frame. I took my weight and measurements today.

Don't be too hard on yourself for 'failures' the last time I lost weight I lost 40 pounds with little to no exercise by managing my calorie intake and never felt deprived. I ate what I wanted but with in the limits that I had set. Then I let stress determine that it didn't matter and gained it back. You don't fail by 'cheating' you fail when you stop being aware of what comes in your body and how you manage your calorie burn.
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grdell

And again the Gravity machine kicks my ass. And to make matters worse, I went out and did laundry afterward, so I am totally spent.

Brief today because I am still overemotional. (See here.) Due to that, I also cheated on my diet yesterday, but today my appetite is all but nonexistent. Go figure.

It all evens out in the end.
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

grdell

Yes, I missed a couple of days there. For those of you keeping up with my A/A page, you'll know why. Suffice it to say, I was in no mood...

But I'm back. My mood is better and I went and got my ass kicked by the machine again. I feel like pronouncing it the way they did in "The Princess Bride" - The MACHINE. ;)

Today, it was all about slow, controlled motions which are much harder than short bursts. I know that he did that since I've got four days to heal before my next session on Tuesday. And I know I'm going to need them...

Anyway, the truth of the matter is simple. In the past, I would have breaks like this one, and I had always let it kill all of my forward momentum. I'd return to my old habits, slowly but surely, and undo all my hard work yet again. Then I would get some sort of motivator again and start the cycle all over. This time is different, and it's not got anything to do with the doctor. Not even my health or fitness or appearance or self-confidence. It's about following through. I've started this blog to let you all know how I'm doing, and I'm not about to give up now and say to everybody "Hey! Look! I gave up!"

That's not gonna happen.

Is it the right motive? Who cares. It'll see me through for the first time in my life. In this case I think, at least somewhat, that the ends will ultimately justify the means. You do what you need to do to get the job done, right?
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

Oniya

Doing something just so you can say you did it (or didn't quit) is a perfectly fine motivation.  It's worked for Everest-climbers for years.  ;D
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

Izu

Everyone has the right of downs. Emotional, physical, dietary. What's important is that you get up once you've fallen, don't beat up yourself over the mistakes and the downs, and just move forward. Like you did. I'm proud of you, Grdell. Just remember that you can still reach your goal even if you make steps back every now and then as long as after those steps back you continue walking forward. ;]

ONs and OFFs || M/M Search || Izu's A&A
...Like reflections on the page, the world's what you create...

grdell

#96
You know, what with all the crazy stuff going on last week, I fully expected it to be a wash and to have not lost much of anything, but it turns out that in spite of myself, I made progress! Another half inch lost, bringing me down to 45 inches. That's a total of three inches in five weeks.

I did go for a six mile walk yesterday*... and paid for it. The rest of the day I could hardly move my legs. I did a lot of laying on the couch and sitting at the computer when I wasn't doing some stretches. This morning, however, I'm feeling much better. I guess just leaving them alone for eight hours was enough for my legs to forgive me.

And speaking of stretches... Yes, I know how tremendously important it is to keep up with stretching, and just to illustrate the point to me, my trainer was doing some leg stretches that I didn't think I'd EVER be able to do when I first started that I can now do myself, almost as well as he does. I'll never be able to do them exactly the same way that he does, as my body shape is different from his, but I can still make the goal, and that's what matters. Especially considering that I couldn't even get close to it as little as four weeks ago. He considers me something of a freak, anyway, as I am unusually limber for someone of my body type (I'm extraordinarily compact). I'm able to lay the bottom of my foot flat against my stomach, which you wouldn't think would be possible from looking at me. He saw me doing it one day and just stood there and stared for a moment before saying "You're strange." You know, I never get tired of hearing that...  ;)

Anyway, I'm taking it easy today. Maybe I'll go for a short walk later today, if I feel up to it (don't worry, I won't push myself). But I do have my next appointment for the Gravity machine tomorrow, so I want to be ready!

* - My view from the East Coast Greenway:
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.

Tschel23

A gorgeous pic, grdell! Makes me want to go on an adventure!
'Oh, just to be in the warm glow of all this testosterone.' Farscape: Aeryn Sun Episode: Family Ties

Oniya

Quote from: grdell on July 04, 2011, 07:51:06 AM
I'm able to lay the bottom of my foot flat against my stomach, which you wouldn't think would be possible from looking at me. He saw me doing it one day and just stood there and stared for a moment before saying "You're strange." You know, I never get tired of hearing that...  ;)

Wow - I can barely get my heel to the front of my pelvic bone, never mind trying to turn the sole any further towards my body.
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

grdell

Okay, that's it. I'm not using the scale anymore for quite a while.

I posted yesterday that I had lost yet another half inch. But when I got on the scale today I discovered that I had put weight back on. I'm back up to 222. I know muscle weighs more than fat, and it's really the waist thing that's far more important right now, but damn. Not to mention that my psycho-stupid doctor is only looking at weight because he's a moron.

All that aside, I had a good session on the Gravity machine today, really worked the hell out of me, just like always. So screw the weight thing. I'm making progress. I know it, I feel it.
"A million people can call the mountains a fiction, yet it need not trouble you as you stand atop them." ~XKCD

My Kinsey Scale rating: 4; and what that means in terms of my gender identity. My pronouns: he/him.

My Ons and Offs, current stories, story ideas, Apologies and Absences - Updated 28 Jan 2024.