College Graduation, Jobs, and Fear of the Future.

[Thorn14]

Hello everyone. Next Friday I am graduating and recieving my Degree in 3D Animation at Macomb Community College. Also last monday I got my first job at Burger King.

This sounds like an awesome thing no?

But then, why am I so down and depressed lately?

I hate working at Burger King. I cannot handle that kind of work environment where everything is going fast, and I'm absolutely terrible at manual labor. Also, despite me graduating with a good grade, in the media and communication arts field, you need to love what you do. I like 3D Animation, but I don't love it, nor do I play with it in my free time, like I should be.  Nor have I made any connections in the industry to get anywhere, and I have no portfolio that I am proud of, and I fear I may have gone into the wrong field.

But I have no idea what I can do that would be productive that pertain to my interests (Videogames, anime, roleplaying, and typing on the internet)

I see people working full time at burger king and it frightens me to have such a life. I can't even stand 5 hours of working there, and the thought of me not getting anywhere of life is horrifying. I'm actually putting more effort getting a better job now than before I even had one.

But between this and the fact my college education free ride is over, I am very uncertain of the future and it has me scared shitless and I don't know what to do. I just wish everything could be like this forever, where I don't have to work, I'm happy with my friends, and family. But I know I can't do that, but sometimes it makes me want to curl up into a corner and hope it all goes away and things get magically better.

You guys here on Elliquiy are all adults and seem mature for the most part, so I thought maybe I could ask your advice or whatever?

Thank you for your time.

Also I should mention I've never gotten my license because driving scares me (I still drive but only with my dad who is retired, I have a learner's permit but am too afraid to get the license because of the freeway.) and I've been living at home my whole life and have lived a very comfortable and sheltered life, which is now biting me on the ass.

[MHaji]

You say you don't have a portfolio that you are "proud of," but have you shown what you do have to anyone? It's possible that you're being too hard on your own work.

Also, do you conclude that you don't love 3D animation based on industry experience working on real projects, or based on the way you react to assignments in school? The business of working on a real project is very different - better and more motivating in some ways, harder in others. Don't sell yourself short just yet.

Anyway, even if you don't love 3D animation in itself, what related skills did you develop from studying it?

You probably know your way around the modeling programs themselves, you can probably make things with them, and you likely learned other things that you don't even realize you learned. If you don't want to do 3D animation for the media, would you be willing to do it for educational purposes or scientists?

Would you be willing to help construct visualizations to help people explain ideas in, say, biology?

As for your interests, well... your interests may be things that you pursue when you're not at work. I'll never be able to support myself by solving crosswords, for example. But they may tie into your work in unexpected ways. If you like typing on the Internet, are you willing to learn some web design skills? My interest in writing puzzle-based adventure games turns out to be really handy when designing tests for college students, since I have to know how to provide hints to make a challenging problem solvable.

When you play a computer roleplaying game, you have to play with statistics and make strategic decisions about skill usage; can you see ways to apply this kind of thinking to your own life? Your stats aren't across the board zeroes. You've been putting points into some serious skills, even if that isn't obvious to you right now.

You may also be underestimating how well you could adapt to a fast-paced job. The first few weeks of any job are hard. You switched last Monday from student to fast-food worker, and that's a really sharp transition. As you get better at moving quickly and learn the tricks that your co-workers use to get things done without going nuts, you'll adapt. It'll still be kind of a depressing job, but not, I imagine, as seemingly impossible. It'll be something that you can do while you look for other options.

[Thorn14]

Thanks Mhaji.

And a portfolio was made for the conclusion of one of my classes. It was the hardest class of my life because all the best art students were there and I am convinced I was the least talented (or motivated) of the group.

And I had fun doing my 3D assignments, but I don't play with the program at home, I'd rather do other things. But the people who get jobs learn and play with it every day because they love it so much.

I have learned how to use photoshop quite well, and after effects, and I just finished a class called Compositing with Nuke and Aftereffects and it taught me some green screen skills.

I don't think I could be of use to educational purposes, what you describe needs modeling skills, which I wanted to be my focus, ended up being what i could never get.

I'm not much of a designer I think but I have considered a few web design courses to get better, I admit. And these games I play, while you have a point, and they may help me mentally, I dont know how they can help me in a job field.

I've always said I'm a great student but nothing more. I have all this training but no drive or ability to use it.

And I imagine i'll get more used to the job, but as it stands I'd much rather have lower stress jobs in retail. I am not suited for hectic things. I'm a slow paced, take things nice and easy, kind of guy.

I just think a big problem with me is I'm afraid to change how things are. I don't like the idea of moving out, and being on my own, for example.

[Darkpoet]

I don't know much about the field you're going into, but I can say you're really not alone in that experience.

I've gone through a number of revisions on what I wanted to do with my life. I went through four different majors in college and got an almost-degree the first three times. It took me until last year before I really nailed down what I wanted to do with myself. Sure, I did things before that and got by...but I did a lot of things I didn't like. Even though I've made a living entirely through writing since my junior year of college...I did a lot of very miserable writing gigs as a freelancer, and I didn't have a clear vision of what I wanted to accomplish, even though I've always known I wanted to write in some capacity. The end of last year, I got a few really fantastic gigs...and I made some highly professional connections- the first real connections I had made in about 2 years of writing experience. When I realized I was doing something I absolutely loved...it made me focus on a particular direction, and I started to look for more things that were similar as I took other work just to pay the bills. Fast forward to this year and I managed to use those experiences to snag a salaried writing position in a company that does almost exactly what I loved doing.

The point is...life is confusing, and no one knows what the hell they're doing all the time. I'd be pretty surprised if people knew what they were doing most of the time. You might have to spend some time doing things that aren't particularly enjoyable just to make the money, but you have to look at those things as stepping stones toward what you really want to do, even if you're not sure what you want...and you never really know, you might meet some people along the way. I responded to a random craigslist ad looking for content writers a year ago...it gave no details about pay, or even much information about the job...and I ended up meeting a lot of the people behind Cisco Eos, and it was one of the best freelancing gigs I ever had.

It's alright to be afraid of the future - a lot of people are - but you can't let that stop you from making progress. The people that let that fear of the future cripple them are the ones stuck in jobs they hate. Even though they hate where they are at, they're too afraid or not motivated enough to put themselves elsewhere. I won't lie, it's an immense amount of work. I spent a lot of 12-hour days writing my ass off...and often with no guarantee of making money from it...but the experience paid off in a huge way. 

[TwoHundredTabs]

Hey Thorn,

There are tons of free tech education websites out there that you can learn from. MIT and Harvard just launched one, Standford has another, YouTube has stuff by guys like TheNewBoston, and there are open access sites like w3schools. I'm sure that you can find tutorials related to your interests. Follow them, do some free work for people to build a network an, reputation, and a better portfolio, and then get hired. :)

[Thorn14]

Thanks tabs. The problem isn't my education, its that I lack the passion to act with such education and to learn more and toy with it.

[Callie Del Noire]

You know you can get Daz 3d for character modelling.

[TwoHundredTabs]

In my experience, lack of passion often comes with not working on a cause that you are about. Maybe a volunteer position in an organization supports your interests would be helpful.

Heck, maybe there's even some stuff you could do for E. That a position/need isn't advertised or usually thought about, doesn't mean that it isn't there.

[Thorn14]

In my experience, lack of passion often comes with not working on a cause that you are about. Maybe a volunteer position in an organization supports your interests would be helpful.

Heck, maybe there's even some stuff you could do for E. That a position/need isn't advertised or usually thought about, doesn't mean that it isn't there.

Well my lack of motivation is about 3D.

And with me not being used to working, this job is kind of draining me, and I'm not making that good money at minimum wage (Thank god I don't have a car or rent)

So I'm really scared I'm reaching my "deadline" so to speak.

[TwoHundredTabs]

The only other thing I think I can say is that you might find free courses with certificates of completion that touch on closely related subject matter, and which you feel more motivated to work on/competent with.