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Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James

Started by Damnedangel, April 22, 2012, 09:55:58 AM

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Iniquitous

QuoteWorst of all, she was the mistress of her own undoing. Mr. Darcy had made no protestations of love. In fact, he had made his intentions plain from the outset. ’I do not make love, Miss Bennet,’ he had told her. ’I bonk. I have it off. I get my end away, I rodger, I boff.’


XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD Omg I am dying over here. I MUST have Fifty Shades of Mr. Darcy!!!
Bow to the Queen; I'm the Alpha, the Omega, everything in between.


Beorning

#501
Quote from: Caeli on January 16, 2013, 01:50:29 AM
How about ninety-nine shades of grey? ::)

This is... brilliant  ;D

On more serious note: I've seen a *sexuality guide* supposedly based on Fifty Shades. Somehow, the prospect is scary...

Callie Del Noire

Quote from: Beorning on January 21, 2013, 09:52:32 AM
This is... brilliant  ;D

On more serious note: I've seen a *sexuality guide* supposedly based on Fifty Shades. Somehow, the prospect is scary...

I don't know.. depends on the content. if it goes..

"Scene #32:" Well.. we don't do it this way.. or do that.. or that.. or that.. that requires a bit more time and coordiantion, ect.

persephone325

Anyone who wants a good laugh, click here.

You won't be disappointed. ;D ROFL
This doesn't have to end in a fight, Buck.
It always ends in a fight.
You pulled me from the river. Why?
I don't know.
"Don't dwell on those who hold you down. Instead, cherish those who helped you up."

Miss Lilly

I can't take credit for this, but it made me laugh out loud!
My missus bought a paperback
In Asda, Saturday.
I had a look inside the bag -
'Twas "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it, see,
And went off up to bed.
An hour later, she reappeared
Oh, the sight filled me with dread.

In her hand she held a rope,
The other, held a whip.
She brandished them around a bit
And then began to strip.

Well, forty years ago
I might have had a peek.
But Doris hasn't weathered well -
She's sixty-eight next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind
Couldn't be much grimmer.
And things progressed from bad to worse -
She toppled off her Zimmer .

She struggled back up to her feet
A good half hour later,
Put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her.

Now if you knew our Doris , see,
You'd know just why I cringed.
I'd been two months in traction, 'cos
My hips and knees unhinged.

She stood there nude. All naked, like,
Bent forward quite a bit
And, jumping back in fright, I went
And stood on her left tit.

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out,
My word. What HAD I done ?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out
"Step on the OTHER one"

Well reader, I can tell no more
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say, my dark brown hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

Black and blue, battered too,
With wanton, wild perversion,
We decided that a night of sin
Was scarce worth such exertion.

Thank Heavens she has binned the book
And peace reigns, like before.
She's head to toe in winceyette
And back to back, we snore.
Want to get wild in the west?
Visit Lola's!

Healergirl

Water Lilly,

Thank you!  I am going to memorize that.

Oniya

And just when we thought we'd heard the last of it, I see a billboard for this.

Why just filk a song, when you can give the whole book 'the treatment'?
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

TheGlyphstone


Oniya

The fine print says they are not affiliated with E.L. James, or the publisher of FSOG, Vintage Press.  However, one of the women in the cast is playing the part of 'E.B. Janet'.
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

Rolo

Wait a minute!  I though 50SOG WAS a parody!

Seduction is merely hypnosis with desire!

-KAI-

Dirty old man in training!
Sneaky Little Bastard!