Textures

[Ephemera]

I’ve learned many things about myself in my nearly two years in the Elliquiy world—both as a writer, and as a sexual being.  I have, over time, learned to accept more ideas, more individuality, more differences among partners and friends than I ever imagined when I first logged in two summers ago.  One thing that has most drastically affected me is the application of imagination and fantasy to my own personal sex-life.  Elliquiy and her citizens are nearly entirely responsible for that effect.  Role-play in this community involves many layers and textures, if you will.  And I am definitely a girl who is all about the textures.  In fact, I was discussing this very thing with a certain dragon hearted gentleman not so long ago, Together, we arrived at the idea that there are three specific, measurable things to consider, when discussing textures on Elliquiy:  the physicality of a partner, the texture of certain implements, and the application of said implements to varying degrees.  There is also a fourth idea--something a bit more difficult to explain, but I will attempt to do so.  It is a rather indefinable thing that happens when the physical is suspended and the imagination completely engaged.  I will attempt to elaborate, and at least shed some light on the subject. Perhaps I will at least spark some healthy discussion.

I will begin by saying that I write several different characters on Elliquiy, and with E-partners on YIM, in IRC, or in Googledocs.  Each one in her unique way is partly me, partly herself, derived from a mixture of my interests, appetites and fantasies.  For the sake of this post, I will discuss textures as they are processed by each character… and eventually by myself, for in the end, it is me writing, experiencing, feeling those sensations. 

As my circle of role-play partners has grown here, I have found that among differing men… and later creatures… and probably very soon among individual women… there are a variety of textures.  I do prefer that even the creatures have sentience, because I need a brain with which to form a connection--- a semblance of humanity.  That said; I’ve found quite a difference between the gentle brush of hair from my cheek, and a sharp fingernail or claw dragged none-too-lightly across the nape of my neck.  The same partner may kiss me with the barest brush of warm lips, or press my mouth with a kiss so roughly that my lips are left swollen, chapped and sore.  Having my hair pulled tight in a strong fist is very dissimilar to having it brushed through gentle fingers, and the feel of a bare-skinned, muscular chest beneath my palms, is very unlike that of thick, coarse fur between my fingers. Every sensation is powerful, and evokes a response, but the textures are vastly different.

Add to that buffet for the senses any of a number of secondary tools or implements, and the sensations are as varied as they are multiplied.  A silk scarf tied at the neck can make me tingle, just as the bite of steel at my wrists can make me wince and shudder.  A sudden downpour of rain can take my breath, and a warm bath can soothe and relax my entire body.  The scrape of tree bark at my back can redden my skin, and a vial of cool, fragrant oil can soothe the scrape away.  Pick up any, ordinary object and apply it to flesh, and the results can wake my nerve centers and send me reeling.

Of course, there is another thing to consider.  A velvet ribbon dragged slowly over bare skin may feel very different from the same ribbon used to bind my elbows behind my back.  The application of implements can vary, depending on the hand that wields them, and the mood or desire of the person applying that object to flesh.  The sting of a riding crop against bare skin would be altered significantly by a layer of clothing, or by a length of rope.  A single peacock feather may feel exquisite along the inside of a thigh, and a pile of feathers would bring a very different reaction from my skin.  Application of both the physical elements of a body, and of secondary tools can be used in harmony to bring about sensory overload.

And so, textures produce sensation.  Sensation leads to excitement.  Excitement gives way to pleasure and eventually, to bliss.  All of these things I have learned, and reveled in during individual Elliquiy partnerships.  The more attention to detail--to texture—a partner may offer, the more gratifying the encounter.  I’ve found my experiences here fascinating, intense, and very satisfying.  In certain cases, when an additional element is added--that of imagination, of suspended reality, of magic—and when on a mental or perhaps emotional level, a door opens between day and night, everything changes.

Perhaps it’s the idea of encountering a mystical, magical creature, of being able to communicate via mind meld, or the possibility of flight.  Perhaps.  Maybe it’s more. There’s a mental element to role-play, just as there is to sex.  A vital element, for me—I get no real pleasure from mindless sex…by post, text, email or in person.  My mind, my imagination, must be engaged.  It’s how I’m wired.  So, if with a partner, I can suspend reality, and engage my imagination… if I can slip through that door, and into their psyche… I can imagine every cell of my body, invaded, impaled by their every cell.  I can shatter, explode, swim in texture and sensation, light and darkness, heat and cold. 
Happily, I have found this sort of experience on Elliquiy as well.  I have connected in magical ways with partners who are exceptional beings, amazing… fantasy and reality… people who have changed me.  I consider those kinds of encounters a bonus, a fortunate happenstance.  I seek them, and celebrate them, and write them to their fullest!

Textures move me, touch me, change me.  I have several of you to thank for that.

I hope you enjoyed reading.

With ink and affection,

~Ephemera

[Ephemera]

I'd love to read any thoughts... please feel free to comment, so I know who is reading and what you think.  :)

with ink and affection

~Ephe

[BiPetra]

How does one separate this fantasy world so its textures do not interfere with your real life with real people?   How does one separate  the love they have for a textured creature of fantasy for the love they have of a real person?   My real question is how do you show the people in your reality that you love them more and want the texture of their life to touch you more than your role-play partners have?   Is it possible to share your fantasies with a real person?  Or has the draw of the textures you find here made it impossible to make at least some of your fantasies into reality?  I do love fantasy, I just hope that I never put them in front of the person that holds my heart for real!

[Ephemera]

How does one separate this fantasy world so its textures do not interfere with your real life with real people?   How does one separate  the love they have for a textured creature of fantasy for the love they have of a real person?   My real question is how do you show the people in your reality that you love them more and want the texture of their life to touch you more than your role-play partners have?   Is it possible to share your fantasies with a real person?  Or has the draw of the textures you find here made it impossible to make at least some of your fantasies into reality?  I do love fantasy, I just hope that I never put them in front of the person that holds my heart for real!

There is a difference between fantasy and reality.  It's true.  I think, though, that any relationship can be enhanced by fantasy and imagination.  That said, I can only answer your questions based on my own feelings and experiences.  If I were in an honest, open, healthy real-life relationship, I'd hope that my imagination and love of textures would translate into that relationship.  I would hope that my real-life lover would  encourage that love, that imagination.  I would also hope that a real life relationship would surpass the fantasies I write here on Elliquiy.

For me, the people on E are real.  They share portions of themselves with others here... with me... and some only share a small part, while others share a great deal of who the are in reality.  I welcome what they do share, and accept what they do not.  I've found that most here do the same.  I realize that the roles played are all mostly, or in at least some small way embellished, fantasy, imaginary.  That's the difference between reality based lovers and role playing lovers.  I'm sure you understand that.

I would hope that in that healthy, real relationship I mentioned earlier, I'd let the experiences I've had here influence how I express my love for that person who shared my reality.  I believe it is very possible to share my fantasies with that real-life lover, should I ever find him.  I also believe that there's room in my heart and life for both a real-life lover, and the amazing and wonderful role-play lovers I've found here in the E community.  I think a healthy real-life relationship would make room for my E play as well.

I have long had a quote in my signature, and I think it applies here:

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” ~A Nin

In the future, I hope to eventually find the kind of real-life lover who would compel my strength, my imagination, my love of texture.  I would want the sort of lover who appreciated me as I am, including the parts of me that have been affected and changed by my experiences interacting here on Elliquiy.  I would also choose a lover who made room for my affection and appreciation for the friends and lovers I have gained here in this community, one who had the courage to love me and give me room to love him, and others, too.

I hope this answers your questions, or at least helps you understand my perspective a bit more.

Thank you for joining in on the discussion.  I welcome any comments.  I'm very curious to see how others think and perceive the E experience.

with ink and affection,

~Ephemera