Funny Translation Goofs

[Cecilia]

http://engrishfunny.com/

[HairyHeretic]

http://rinkworks.com/said/

Particularly

http://rinkworks.com/said/language.shtml

and my favourite section of that:

English Subtitles In Hong Kong Films:

"I threat you! I challenge you meet me on the roof tonight for a duet!" -- The Iceman Cometh

"I will kill you until you are dead from it!"

"Just scold Chang as 'Shame-less a*****e' for three times. Then you will free from this kind of suffer forever." -- The Kung Fu Cult Master

"You will not happy ending!" -- The Kung Fu Cult Master

"Master, where are those people of Ming Sect? They seem to be disappeared." -- The Kung Fu Cult Master

"He started it first!" -- Fong Sai-Yuk II

"I've to cut partial of my freedom." -- Once Upon a Time In China and America

"He is jealousing!" -- Dr. Wai and the Scripture Without Words

"It is destinated to be you!" -- Dr. Wai and the Scripture Without Words

"The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?" -- Lethal Panther

"I got knife-scars more than the number of your leg's hair!" -- As Tears Go By

"I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way." -- Holy Weapon

"Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep." -- Pedicab Driver

"I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!" -- Pom Pom and Hot Hot

"You are too useless. And now I must beat you."

"Gun wounds again?" -- Rich and Famous

"A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries." -- Brain Theft

"You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken." -- Pedicab Driver

"Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants." -- The Seventh Curse

"Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected." -- Saviour of the Soul

"Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?" -- Armour of God

"Quiet or I'll blow your throat up." -- On the Run

"You daring lousy guy." -- Satyr Monks

"Beat him out of recognizable shape!" -- Police Story 2

"How can you use my intestines as a gift?" -- The Beheaded 100

"Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!" -- Pedicab Driver

"This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat."

"Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination."

"Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some @$$ of the giant lizard person."



I would LOVE to know what films these final 2 are from. I'd have to watch them, just to find out what bizarre context allowed this dialogue.

And because I like bad movies  :D

[Inkidu]

I used to create Engrish as a side-effect of trying to learn Japanese. Good times.

[The Overlord]

ROFL, absolutely classic.  ;D

[Spookie Monster]

Don't forget Engrish.com!

Spel

[ZK]

Being Japanese I simply want to shake my head at this... mainly due to just like other cultures using foreign language to describe something... if you don't understand what it means, it ends up like that. *flops*

So sad it's funny.

I've noticed though, Chinese tend to use odd mixtures... while Japanese love to use vulgar curses and phrases.

I take that back, I feel so sad to admit I am of the Asian race now. Stay away from English...well, if you don't you know, learn it. x.x

[Inkidu]

I had a Japanese roommate and he said fuck every other word. I had to listen to an Irish comedian before I got it.

In I quote, "The English language is like a brick wall between our communication, and fuck, fuck is my chisel!'

Fuck was his chisel.

[Lanzlo]

Actually, the best spoof I've seen is this Sluggy Freelance strip, Torg's Dream Fighters.

http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=010204

[Spookie Monster]

I take that back, I feel so sad to admit I am of the Asian race now. Stay away from English...well, if you don't you know, learn it. x.x

Heh!  Well, I wouldn't feel too ashamed.  Anybody gusty enough to try to use a foreign language is bound to screw up occasionally.  For example, it's not unheard of for a non-native speaker of Japanese to go into a Japanese restaurant, eat a nice meal, and then say, "O-kancho kudasai!"

Spel

[HairyHeretic]

Very true. Back when I did a Japanese nightclass, the guy that was teaching us told us a story about one of his more memorable goofs. He'd been teaching English at university there, and at a big faculty dinner. The verbs to sit and to touch are only one syllable different. He meant to say let's all sit down, and it came out let's all touch each other.

Guess that's one way to break the ice with your colleagues :)

[CaptainErotica]

  When I was first trying to learn Japanese I tried to compliment a girl. I meant to say Kawaii (Pretty), but said Kowaii (scary) instead.

[Spookie Monster]

Guess that's one way to break the ice with your colleagues :)

Well, if this fellow ever does host that kind of dinner, please have him invite me.  (Er... that's assuming that women will be present... otherwise, please insure that he doesn't invite me.)

When I was first trying to learn Japanese I tried to compliment a girl. I meant to say Kawaii (Pretty), but said Kowaii (scary) instead.

Heh!  What was her reaction, may I ask?  Nothing too bad, I'm sure...

Actually, upon reflection, I had an amusing pronunciation goof of my own.  Once while shopping in a supermarket the mother of one of my students approached me.  "My son is So-and-So Oishi!" she said to me, with Oishi being pronounced in the surname's normal fashion.  I couldn't remember her son right off, though.  "Oishi?" I wondered aloud, foolishly shortening the o and allowing my voice to hover on the final i...

My Student's Mother: "My son is So-and-So Oishi!"

Me: "Delicious!"

Fortunately for me, nothing came of my flub.  Maybe she thought that I'd abruptly decided to talk about the nearby grapefruits.  More likely she just concluded that I was a dumbass and humored me.

Spel

[CaptainErotica]

  It's so easy to mess up Japanese. Especially the long vowels.

  Aas for the previously mentions girl. She just laughed and thought it was cute. Japanese girls are like that. I still got the date so it turned out okay...that time.