Perverted Wishes

[Lanzlo]

Granted. You are now as wide and deep as you are tall. Hey, 'Round' is a shape...

I wish I had a mint condition copy of the first issue of Superman.

[Sherona]

Granted. As you walk down the street the clouds burst forth and rain down mint conditions of superman comics...however now everyone and joe has them and they are worth nothing.

I wish I had one of those voice activated typers..easier on my fingers lol

[BK Geno]

Wish granted, the voice typist is dyslexic.

I wish I was less sarcastic.

[Ixy]

Granted: you are now mute and lack fingers with which to type.  But as a consolation prize, you have a cheery outlook on life in general, as if from nowhere.

I wish I had Miss September-- and Mister September-- as my roommates.

[Lirliel]

Wish granted, but seeing as your miss October they want nothing to do with you.

I want it to be december!

[Ixy]

Granted, but as such you missed me as Miss October and can't find the back issues.

Oh, and you're in the opposite hemisphere, so the weather totally sucks.

(oops, forgot wish...)

I wish that America would socialize its medical care.

[Kalen]

Done, but after your tax hike, you can barely afford to feed yourself.

I wish that my dog would sleep through the night!

[Sethite]

Wish granted. But after the first night your dog is still sleeping...with the eternal sleep.

I wish I could write without using keyboard or pen.

[Kalen]

Done.. as a quadruple amputee, you are left with little choice.

I wish I could clone myself, to get more done..

[BK Geno]

Wish granted, the clones resemble Mini-me and are retarded, and seek to kill you.

I wish I did not have an ingrown toenail.

[Kalen]

You are now missing a toe. 

I wish to lose weight.

[BK Geno]

Wish granted, you lose all body fat, muscle, and organs. BECAUSE YOU ARE A ROTTING CORPSE!!! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!

I wish my ex was not so mean to me.

[Lanzlo]

Granted. She's still as mean, but you're now legally re-married to her.

I wish that D&D 4.0 would come out sooner.

[BK Geno]

Wish granted, but is so convoluted that no one could possibly understand it.

I wish E would stop dropping posts and PMs.

[Kalen]

It does, because nobody is posting to it. 

I wish I was making double my salary.

[Sethite]

Wish granted. But next day after your salary is doubled, you're fired.

I wish I could disband European Union.

[BK Geno]

Wish granted, but it returns the day after disbanding as the World United Union.

I wish my final project was done, and would pass for my final class.

[Brandon]

Granted you pass your class successfully but just before the test the school decides to increase the requirements for your degree by 20 classes

I wish I could get paid well just for my good looks

[BK Geno]

Wish granted, but you get in a horrible car accident, losing said good looks, making a total of 20 bucks.

I wish I did not have to listen to the Islamic vs Christianity conversation going on behind me right now.

[Zaer Darkwail]

Wish granted, your now deaf.

I would wish I would have more time play WoW undisturped by distraction.

[Kalen]

When the superflu kills everyone but you, you have all the time in the world...

I wish my office had no politics.  *sighs*

[NornSavant]

Wish granted as the ruthless office manager arises to utterly crush all resistance to his petty demands smashing morale like so much cheap crystal and scattering cliques and friends alike to the hot winds of outsourced cheap telephone support. Now all chains lead to him!

I wish I could be more Zen.

[Kalen]

You become much more Zen.

Unfortunately, you HAVE to, as you are wrongly imprisoned, and are beaten daily by the other prisoners.. adopting a Zen attitude is your only escape.

I wish I wasn't so busy at work!

[Lirliel]

Wish Granted, you get moved into a low dark basement, fired and wondering where your stapler went ;)

I wish that I could see WT live in my backyard! :D

[Kalen]

Your backyard, house, and neighborhood are all trashed by the onrushing fans.

I wish I could have the money to travel.