Idiot Sighting

[Oniya]

Okay - have to drag this one out.  I used to work for [nameless, soulsucking ISP], back when 2400 was considered fast.  A coworker told me this one over lunch break one day.

Customer:  I can't connect.
Coworker:  Is the modem dialing?
Customer:  No, I'm not hearing anything.
Coworker:  Is it an internal or external modem?
Customer:  Internal.
Coworker:  Is your modem plugged into the phone line?
Customer:  Yes - got it plugged into the port marked 'Line'.

Coworker goes through lengthy and indepth troubleshooting, trying to make the modem respond.  Checks line with spare handset, goes into Terminal, nothing.  Finally thinks it might be some off-brand that needs a special command set.

Coworker:  Sir, what brand of modem are you using?
Customer:  Just a second, let me look at it.
Coworker:  Your computer's open right now?  (This isn't necessarily a bad thing, and possibly opens up other avenues of troubleshooting)
Customer:  No, that would require a Phillips head screwdriver, and I don't have one.  It's sitting on top of the monitor.  It'll still work that way, right?

[Braioch]

I thought it fair to add that customer's aren't the only one's who do or say really stupid or frustrating things, as I have run into a few employees who have either made me boggle or just plain made me want to reach across the counter and strangle them.

Here's a few that I can remember.

Me:(standing at the counter of Burger King) Hi, can I get a number 1, with cheese and..hmmm...throw in a large French Fry on the side too.
Worker:I'm sorry we no longer carry French Fries
Me:??? What? But...you guys have always had them...I love your guys' french fries....
Worker: Yep, we no longer carry French Fries, those are for the gutless cowards. We have Freedom Fries.
Me:-.- You mean the fries that are no different from the fries before, just a different word in front of them?
Worker: They are different, they're totally for Americans dude.
Me: Can I just get some french fries please?
Worker: We no longer carry those dude
Me: (at this point losing my patience) Look, they're the same thing, just give me the fries already. Can I just get my food without you waxing political agenda?
Worker: It's just that we no longer-
(This continued for a few more back and forths before I eventually was stopped by my friends and they ordered for me.)


Though for a shorter one I have....

(At McDonalds a couple of years ago)
Me:Hmmm, I think I'll take a large strawberry shake and two double cheeseburgers.
Cashier:(whom looked haggard and worn) Sure, you want cheese on those?
Me: o.O
Cashier:....
Cashier: Can we uhhh....forget I said that, it's been a long day.
Me: -laughs- By all means

The there was the time I spent 10 minutes on the phone arguing with this tool who said he couldn't deliver the pizza to me. Claimed I wasn't in their delivery area, nevermind they had done so several times, including two days prior. Of course I remained calm (my patience for people had increased greatly since the Freedom Fries incident) but he proceeded to get snide and snippy. I eventually lost it, much to my roommate at the time's amusement (apparently seeing me lose it and chew people out is a spectator sport for everyone around me, I must be that amusing) and chewed his ass out for a good 5 minutes and talked to the manager. Turns out I was right and the worker was a pothead moron, I was comped breadsticks and a 2 liter.

[Sweet Trouble]

OMGooosshhh!!!
THANK YOU to everyone who posted ... I sooo needed to laugh.
*runs to the restroom to avoid messy panties*