Breakup with the person above you!

[Falstaff]

Summer, I can't go on like this.  It has been great cuddling through the winter, even better with rubbing oil all over you before sun bathing.  But, I need more than cuddles and feeling your...perfect skin as I apply...*gulps*...oil to your...*eyes go distant*

*shakes himself alert*  Where was I...Oh yeah...Summer, I need to just move on and find someone else...someone that will enjoy other things in life...not just lying in the sun.
I wish you the best...

[Moraline]

Dearest Falstaff,

You are probably one of the hottest cowboys that I've ever dated but I'm afraid my tastes have changed. I'm now dating a fantasy barbarian named Conan. I hope you understand.

PS: You were the wildest bucking bronco that I have ever had the pleasure to ride. I'll miss the sex.

Yours,
~ Moraline

[Daoine Sidhe]

Dear Moraline,
   I'm sorry to say that, after five years, I think our relationship is completely stagnant.  We've tried just about everything - both in the bedroom and outside of it - that we both could possibly enjoy.  Evidently, we're just not meant to be.  I'm moving out.  I left this week's rent on your dresser.

I wish you best of luck!

Sincerely,
D.

P.S.  I never did find that library book...

[Adrianna Paige]

Dearest Daoine.

After a few years of trying the lesbian thing I have given up. It just isn't for me. I enjoyed kissing and cuddling but I just can't seem to overcome my fear of full blown sex with you. Thankyou for being so patient and for allowing toys and what not but, sadly, I can't live a lie anymore. Falsaff and I have been dating for the last 6 months and tonight he is breaking up with his girlfriend too. Hope you understand. I went ahead and moved all my stuff out while you are at work...mainly because I know your temper. I wish you the best. Hopefully, in time we can be friends.

Best regards...

Adrianna Paige

[Undeniable Sin]

Dearest Adrianna,

I'm sorry but you aren't my flavor. Cuddling is delicious, but this isn't me. I need a strong hand and your sweet manicured hands don't have the steel I crave. I wish you the best.

Sin

[TaintedAndDelish]

Dear Sin,

When we first met, I thought you were the kinkiest chick I ever met and I loved every second of it. After a while, I felt overwhelmed and disgustingly vanilla in your presence. I feel so simple minded and plain, so unadventurous and boring. Its a terrible feeling... this can't go on.

I'm dumping your ass for this vanilla minx I met at the post office. I need to feel filthy and nasty once again.

Toodles, noodles.
Taint

[Adrianna Paige]

Dear Taint,

Thankyou for mixing me up with the 'vanilla minx' you met at the post office. Now that I know you are cheating on me I can skip right over the break up sex and move directly on to dumping your ass in the street. You only need your two hands to pick up your belongs as I took the liberty of setting all your stuff on fire and putting the ashes in a brown bag for you. I would make sure to keep the bag as your beloved toy poodle " muff" contributed to keeping the fire ablaze.

Adrianna.

[King Serperior]

My dear Adrianna Paige,

Though I love the way the name rolls off my tongue and the way your hair reflects the sunlight while we hike, I am sorry to say that I have discovered that you have been keeping secrets from me.  I will not mention them in this public letter, but I know what they are.  Alas, I must let you go.  Please forgive me for, although we cannot be together again, I have forgiven you.

Yours forever,

King Serperior

[Belle33]

*sends text message to King*

we r thru 4 eva

[SSJ4Gojeta]

You're asking me why I'm breaking up with you? Because the magic 8-ball said so.

[Belle33]

you're on call way too much.  It's over!

[TaintedAndDelish]

You spent all my god damn money on booze, vibrating cock rings and male hookers... again! Its bad enough that you left empty bottles on the floor, but the cum stains all over the walls, sheets, carpet, under the dining room table, in the garage, the attic, and my keyboard was more than I could bear. The first time broke my heart, but this time, I'm breaking yours.

I just want you to know that the men you hired last night made out quite well. They were paid twice for a job well done - both in cash which you so carelessly flaunted, and in AZT.

*shocked face*
     *smirk*

Love,
Taint.

[Adrianna Paige]

You spent all my god damn money on booze, vibrating cock rings and male hookers... again! Its bad enough that you left empty bottles on the floor, but the cum stains all over the walls, sheets, carpet, under the dining room table, in the garage, the attic, and my keyboard was more than I could bear. The first time broke my heart, but this time, I'm breaking yours.

I just want you to know that the men you hired last night made out quite well. They were paid twice for a job well done - both in cash which you so carelessly flaunted, and in AZT.

*shocked face*
     *smirk*

Love,
Taint.

*falls over and just dies* Damn. It......

What a way to break up with someone. It's all sorts of levels of jacked up.

[Autumn52]

Adrianna I am writing this now because I can not face you. Your beauty is to much to bare. I love you so much and I want to be with you but I can't compete with what the world has to offer someone like you. I will miss you but I have to leave to preserve my own dignity.

Good bye

[HannibalBarca]

It was your eyes that did it for me, Xandi.  Every time I looked into them and saw that glorious eternity with you, I was scared as hell.  No, not from the idea of marriage--I was all set for that--it was that, all things being equal...they weren't equal.  I was just setting myself up to fail you on the level of the Hindenburg.

I have nowhere near your talent, compassion, intensity, or attractiveness.  And even with all the love you showered me with, all of the attention and passion and hope for the future, it only pushed me further into this black pit of who I am, by shoving my face into it every time you told me you loved me.

You're too good for me...and I'm too fucking bad for you.

[Aislinn]

Hannibal, I adore you....but seriously, I can't deal with you thinking you are living the play 'Hamlet'. I was okay with you reciting Shakespeare everywhere we go...but the skull is the last straw....especially when you brought it to bed last night and insisted that it participate.

Just...no.

I'm sorry.

[King Serperior]

Aislinn, you are one of the nicest people I know around here, but my duties as a King places you in danger just by  being involved with each other.  Despite the cliche "it's not you, it's me" that goes around here, I must say that it truely is neither you nor I, but the duties of royality.  I will fund you enough to allow you to survive well until you find someone that it is safer to be with.

~King Serperior

[HannibalBarca]

...but the skull is the last straw....especially when you brought it to bed last night and insisted that it participate.

Just...no.

LMFAO  +1000


Don't have time to write much...just getting out of those chains, out of the secret room you kept me in in the royal suites, and past the guards to swim the goddamned croc-infested moat took most of my energy...Hope you don't mind, but the guard I knifed so I could leave this note on it--I imagined he was you, Serpior.

King, my ass--rule this.

[Moraline]

Doctor Frankenstein pieced together parts of corpses to create new life. I get it, but trust me, it can't be done. You're hobby is stinking up our apartment and the landlord complained about the lightning rod you put on the roof.

I've had enough. I can't take it any longer. I'm leaving you.

[HannibalBarca]

I hate being the BF of the fucking female Forrest Gump.  I've seen you three hours in the last two months.

Keep on running...I'm heading in the other direction. 

P.S.  I faked my orgasms.  Yeah, you figure it out.

[Daoine Sidhe]

My dear Hamlet... you're just too damn emotional.  I need a stable man.  Like Fortinbras.

P.S.  Get rid of that damn skull...

[HannibalBarca]

I've never loved another woman like you.  Never.

But your job as a ninja, to put it mildly, blows monkey balls.

Attacks day and night.  Sudden disappearances to go off on missions.  Midnight rumbles with big asian guys with sharp-edged derbies.  Armies of nameless thugs carrying Kalashnikovs.  Bruce Lee-wannabes who can't understand you have a sword instead of a bo staff.  Who-knows-how-many kidnappings and last-minute rescues of me by you while being almost sliced, lasered, dropped into tanks of acid or sharks or tentacle monsters, pulled apart by various sorts of mechanisms, launched into space tied to an ICBMs, or chained to nuclear time bombs that you manage to disarm with the cliched 1 second left...

If romantic love requires this, I'm becoming a Buddhist monk.  I've already got my saffron robes.  May the Buddha bless you...

...aw, fuck it.  Try not to get killed, okay?

[AutumRose]

the dvd disc slides into the player and I appear in front of the  camera..  

My dearest  heart,

You know that reading this was the last way I wanted to do this, you know that if there was another way,  would  without a moments doubt   do so ...I`m so sorry I failed us,  proved to be the weaker partner in our affair..  will you forgive me?..

I slip the steel braided collar about my neck  and  lock it closed.  a  chuckle is heard off camera  a female  chuckle..

But I have always said this may happen, one day when the cogs fall together,  and  I am finally read to face a truth I will leave.. you always laughed at that  but now My darling its  finally time.

Do not pity me my heart,  do not  take your rage out on everything we built.  It really is My choice.   my wish  my desire to see you happy.  You see My dearest, I know about you and that  Ninja,  i know about how you keep vanishing and taking the dog for a walk ..  My  heart   ..   we dont have a dog..  I know about those late night  trips to the store to get..  Really my  darling it doesnt matter, not now  .. 

hands the key to a hand that has black nails.

Because you see.  Now I belong to another....

Be good my heart.  I hope you find what you seek ..  someone that is worthy of your love...

The clip dies as you hear the words  "come Mine  its time" And I walk away the screen fades to blackness and then  white noise

[Nataleigh]

It's not you, it's me.

It's not that I didn't have fun, or that you didn't try hard enough to make me stay, but more about the whips and the bondage you loved so much. I mean, I don't hate it. I like bondage, and I enjoyed our time playing the game together. I did! But then came the doubt. The questioning. The worry that you didn't love me. You loved the bondage, and I was just a conduit for you to get the fix you needed. I could be anybody as long as you got what you wanted, and that hurt me deeper than I'd like to admit. It made it impossible for me to enjoy our time together anymore, and even if I'm wrong, it just means I have some issues I have to work out.

So, this is goodbye. I know you'll find someone else, but I want you to know our time together wasn't wasted. I love you, but I needed to be more to you than I think I am. And that's on me.

Take care of yourself.

[Mara Brewer]

My Dearest Nataleigh,

I have been up all night, and I'm out of tears. All I have left is resolve. I have to end this.

It isn't what you are. I'm sure that in time, I could get over the strangeness of your identity and come to accept you for the beautiful person I've always loved. Rather, it is that you lied to me about what you are for so long. I can't trust you after a lie of that magnitude.

Why didn't you just TELL me that you were...a koala? Did you think that I would find your eyes less beautiful if I knew they were koalaeyes? Your mind less fascinating if I knew it sat in a koala head?

I suppose this does explain all the eucalyptus.

In any case, I think it would be best if we just moved on.

Mournfully,
Mara