Romance? What is it?

[Greenthorn]

Just had a wonderfully deep conversation with someone about romance and realized everyone has their own opinions about it. (used with permission with name removed)

Them: I like romantic
GreenTh0rn: Hmmm most romantics turn too sappy for me..they never bounce back to who I thought they were
Them: Good romance isnt sappy
Them: Good romance is dark, or powerful or wild
GreenTh0rn: Romance is old fashioned...which i love...but like i said those who have done/said romantic things to/with me..when they see how much i love it..they STAY there..get all whiney and such..and god knows i cannot handle a constantly whining man
Them: Romance is giving a single blood red rose, kissing neck softly. Then making passionate wild love. Romance is pushing your loved one up against a wall whispering in her ear and biting her neck before you take what is yours
GreenTh0rn: romance is also private jokes and knowing looks exchanged

So my question is...how do all of -you- define "Romance"?

[Moondazed]

Being familiar enough with the way the other party's mind works to know what makes them feel special/desires/loved... and then going to the effort to do it.

[Greenthorn]

Being familiar enough with the way the other party's mind works to know what makes them feel special/desires/loved... and then going to the effort to do it.

Yes! The effort..and continuing it..not just occasional!

[Moondazed]

And not only when it's pointed out that they haven't been making any effort ;)  The thing is, it goes BOTH ways... women who sit back and expect it to be an unbalanced effort need a bitchsmack! 

Also, always trying to find new things to explore adds a lot to the picture.  Who knew that buying a new paddle was romantic? *giggle*  It's not something one would find on one of those useless fucking lists of ways to be romantic in Cosmo magazine.

[Cherri Tart]

romance... going out of your way to do something wonderful for your loved one, something that only means something to you because if means so much to them, and fully investing yourself in it.  If you hate baseball, but your SO loves it, then taking them out to the ball park, and not just enduring the game, but really putting all your effort into enjoying it - buy hot dogs and beer and root for the home team, learn the rules, wear the team colors... a silly example, i know, but that's really what makes me feel romantic.  Knowing that someone loves me enough to try to want to be a part of something that means the world to me.  It doesn't all have to be candle lit dinners and soft light.  Sometimes it's just sitting thru a movie that you don't care for and enjoying it soley because it is your SOs favorite movie. 

[Moondazed]

And not bitching about having to sit through it is pretty romantic as well *giggle*

[Avi]

Romance to me is making someone feel loved for just who they are.  With all their flaws and perceived "problems".  that often means helping to talk them out of dark places on a few occasions, but that's what makes the bond you build even more special.

[Cherri Tart]

And not bitching about having to sit through it is pretty romantic as well *giggle*

*smiles* that's the key - sitting there and trashing my movie won't win you any points! ;D  and those simple touches of getting up early and making breakfast for your loved one, leaving notes where she'll find them during her day and it will make her smile, filling her tank with gas the night before so she doesn't have to do it on the way to work and leaving a flower on the passenger seat for her.  :)

[Moondazed]

Romance to me is making someone feel loved for just who they are.  With all their flaws and perceived "problems".  that often means helping to talk them out of dark places on a few occasions, but that's what makes the bond you build even more special.

Actually, for me loving someone for just who they are is part of the definition of loving them :)  Being there to help them feel special at times when they can't see that they are is about being supportive more than being romantic, imo.  I'm not saying you're wrong, aviationrox, just sharing my thoughts.

[Greenthorn]

*just smiles at everyone having a nice conversation for once*

Thanks all ;D 

[Moondazed]

I wish people wouldn't take honest discourse so personally... I feel like my efforts to be clear and honest intimidate some people and make them feel that I'm not 'playing nice'.  Thank you for a topic that isn't as volatile as some of the latest have been :D

[Cherri Tart]

Sometimes romance is just tucking in your loved one and laying beside them on the bed, even when you're not tired and you have a million things to do, just so they don't fall asleep by themself. :)

[Moondazed]

Mmmm... that's a good one, Cherri! :)

[Cherri Tart]

*shy smile* my g/f usually goes to bed much earlier then i do, but i make it a rule to be with her until she slips off into slumbers.  It's important, to me. 

[Moondazed]

Thank you for sharing... I'm going to make an effort to do that for my husband on the nights I stay up late since I don't have to work all five weekdays.

[Greenthorn]

I wish people wouldn't take honest discourse so personally... I feel like my efforts to be clear and honest intimidate some people and make them feel that I'm not 'playing nice'.  Thank you for a topic that isn't as volatile as some of the latest have been :D

Moon..you are ...oh nevermind I will PM you my thoughts *smiles*

And you're welcome..it was my full intention to lighten things up  ;D

[Cherri Tart]

*hugs Moon* sometimes there are unexpected consequences, too, which are just as romantic ;)

[Captain Maltese]

To be romantic is to show someone you care. Be that a kiss on the cheek, the odd extra touch no matter how innocent it is, to more impressive acts of affection. CT's example of lying in bed while her partner fell asleep frankly left me speechless.

[Moondazed]

I like to IM my husband random thoughts I'm having about him....

"Tonight I'm going to worship your cock with my mouth, just because I love you."

"The curve of the back of your thigh makes me want to run my hands over every inch of you, ending there."

"You're a wonderful father... even when our teenager makes me want to wring his neck until he turns blue!"

And I love to surprise him by buying him a container of fresh berries and taking them to him at work :)

[Cherri Tart]

*hugs* Moon. I am momentarily totally in love with you for sharing those thoughts.  :)  thank you. 

[Moondazed]

*blush*  You're welcome :D

[Swedish Steel]

Yeah, Moony has plenty of excellent thoughts. :)

[Elvi]

So....me sending Strangely a PM saying 'make me a cup of coffee you smelly arsed git' is romantic too?

Seriously, I see what you are expressing is love, affection and reminding others that they are appreciated and you 'need' them, not romance.
However, ask me what 'romance' is and all I can see in front of me is the stereotypical hearts and flowers type rubbish.

So in the end, who cares what the word is as long as the deed or sentiment is there?

[Moondazed]

Which goes to show that what's romantic to one person may not be to another :)

[Cherri Tart]

So....me sending Strangely a PM saying 'make me a cup of coffee you smelly arsed git' is romantic too?

Seriously, I see what you are expressing is love, affection and reminding others that they are appreciated and you 'need' them, not romance.
However, ask me what 'romance' is and all I can see in front of me is the stereotypical hearts and flowers type rubbish.

So in the end, who cares what the word is as long as the deed or sentiment is there?

i thought the whole point of romance WAS expressing love,affection, and reminding others that they are appreciated?  i mean, anyone can send flowers, but it's the thought behind it that counts, gives it meaning.  :)  and, honestly, calling Stranglley a smelly arsed git, could be - it depends on how it was intended. ;)

[Elvi]

Well he's making me coffee.....so it must have worked.....*grins*

[Greenthorn]

Which goes to show that what's romantic to one person may not be to another :)

Which is exactly why I started this ;D

[Moondazed]

Wouldn't it be romantic if he served it to you, then offered to be your ottoman while you relax and drink it? *giggle*

[Elvi]

No......I wouldn't be able to see the PC properly....*grins*

[strangely made]

Romance is not farting in front of your girlfriend :)
Love is being able to fart in front of her and laugh afterwards.

[Moondazed]

*giggle*  You two crack me up :)

[Cherri Tart]

Romance is not farting in front of your girlfriend :)
Love is being able to fart in front of her and laugh afterwards.

there's actually more then a little truth in that ;D

[Elvi]

Strangely and I were reading this thread and we both started chuckling as we read your post about the IM's to your husband.

We just had to give an alternative meaning to them.

"Tonight I'm going to worship your cock with my mouth, just because I love you."

I've knocked the car again and if I say this, he's going to run straight past it in the drive and not notice.

"The curve of the back of your thigh makes me want to run my hands over every inch of you, ending there."

I got these sodding crabs from someone and I'm deffinitely making sure it's not you....

"You're a wonderful father... even when our teenager makes me want to wring his neck until he turns blue!"

Well....I had to make it look real when I blamed him for bumping the car again didn't I?

And I love to surprise him by buying him a container of fresh berries and taking them to him at work :)

Hopefully he won't eat another burger for lunch as he's becoming such a fat git.


And yes, we do know that you don't mean them that way Moon, but we just had to do it....*hugs*

[Moondazed]

*giggling*

I shall take them in the spirit they're offered :)

[ShrowdedPoet]

*pounces on everybody and smothers them in kisses*  THIS is romance. . .  *nods*  :)

[Captain Maltese]

...but stroking a rose's petals along your lips and then kissing you as lightly as a landing butterfly would be more personally romantic, don't you think?  ;)

[ShrowdedPoet]

. . .nope. . .I like the poucing. . .and the kissing. . .

[Greenthorn]

Romance is fighting for the one you love

[Moondazed]

It is?  As in pistols at 50 paces? *giggle*

[Greenthorn]

*nods and giggles*

[Moondazed]

I fight my own battles :P  I would find it romantic if he were there watching, a cool, damp cloth at the ready for my brow *giggle*

[Captain Maltese]

...only that MY pistol is actually a 9mm MP5, while his old flintlock pistol has had the barrel plugged....everything's allowed in love.

[Moondazed]

Now now, Cpt, cheating isn't very sexy :P

[Elvi]

Romance is fighting for the one you love

Nooooooo....it's fighting WITH the one you love, nothing better than a bllody good bar room brawl to get the blood a rushing....*grins*

[Greenthorn]

Nooooooo....it's fighting WITH the one you love, nothing better than a bllody good bar room brawl to get the blood a rushing....*grins*

Ohhh angry make up sex is AWESOME *drools*

[Elvi]

No.....I mean fighting NEXT to not with as in against....*laughs*

[Moondazed]

*giggle* 

You two are too funny :)

[Captain Maltese]

*Imagines Elvi and Strangely fist-and-bottle-fighting back-to-back in some dusty pub, Stetsons and beer bottles flying, and sighs fondly* Now THAT is romantic.

[Elvi]

Nah...try leathers and crash helmets and you would get a better picture Calico....

[Captain Maltese]

*slaps head* Not only are you bikers, you are in the UK...*adjusts image* Still very very romantic.

[Elvi]

Yep thats us....no blood red roses, just the blood....*laughs lots*

[Captain Maltese]

Perhaps a little more like sex than romance?

[Elvi]

*blinks*
You don't think that it's romantic carefully wiping the blood off your lovers top lip and gently kissing it better?

[Captain Maltese]

Of course that is romantic.

But the scuffling, the adrenaline rush, the hits and kicks and pouring sweat is rather sexy in my book...a brawl might practically be defined as a dryhumping orgy ;D