The Anti-Joke Thread!

[Le RandomBloke]

Pretty common nowadays, but havn't seen one here yet. So let me shamelessly borrow a few anti-jokes as an example. I wonder what you guys come up with! Hurr.


Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never be able to walk properly again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

[ShrowdedPoet]

is it bad that I laughed at most of those?

[Inkidu]

is it bad that I laughed at most of those?

Probably by he accepted psychological standing of today's society but I laughed too. Bring on the meds! Woot! ;D

[Caity]

I thought they were very funny...  :P

[Lanzlo]

Here's one for you.

A man walks into a bar.
He didn't have on his glasses, and didn't notice the two men in front of him duck under it.

[LaBelleDame]

I adored the cow one.
^_^