Corrupt a wish

[Silent Knight]

Granted, because living off the land in the middle of the wilderness is free.


I wish my upstairs neighbors wouldn't stomp around in the middle of the night.

[ladyfickle]

Granted, but he's now having an intercourse, which makes him even louder.

I wish several men were head over heals in love with me!:)

[clonkertink]

Granted. They're desire for you is so strong they start a war that destroys your home and everyone you care about.

I wish for a nice foot massage.

[Dys Astyr]

Granted, right after you lose all feeling in your feet.

I wish I didn't keep waking up still feeling tired. -_-

[Merry Gentry]

Granted, now you just never wake up... hundreds of years pass, and you're still asleep.

I wish I could breath underwater, like a mermaid

[clonkertink]

Granted, but it only works in Baltimore's ugly, polluted harbour.

I wish I had a whole harem to myself.

[Dys Astyr]

Granted, but it comprised entirely of very old men.

I wish that I could go swimming right now.

[Merry Gentry]

Granted but it's at the Polar caps and the water is beyond frigid and you get hypothermia

I wish I had a Unicorn

[Dys Astyr]

Granted, but it pees on everything like an untrained puppy and is grumpy all the time.

I wish that I had a popsicle! ;D

[Merry Gentry]

Granted, but it's so hot out? it's a puddle-cicle and you have to lick it off the ground.

I wish laundry would wash itself

[clonkertink]

Granted, but they always use that one detergent you're allergic to, so you're constantly itchy.

I wish I had my very own spaceship!

[Merry Gentry]

Granted but it's the size of a Pen and you are obviously too big to fit inside so it's a waste.

I wish the Sun was shining brighter

[Rhadiance]

One exploding supernova coming right up.  >:)

I wish I had some teabags in my house instead of having to walk to the shops to get more.

[Merry Gentry]

Granted, but you have no hot water and no way to actually make the tea.

I wish I had and ice cold diet coke

[clonkertink]

Granted. It is literally a solid block of ice. Enjoy drinking flat cola when it thaws.

I wish I was a lumberjack.

[Merry Gentry]

Granted, but sadly there are no more trees left in the world. Pretty bleak place.

I wish I was a ballet dancer

[Dys Astyr]

Granted, but you are unable to stop dancing. Ever. Not to eat or sleep or anything.

I wish my Muse would stop play hard to get and be cooperative.

[clonkertink]

Granted. She is now clingy and possessive, and so you're compelled to spend all your time writing, but jealously guard every word for fear people will steal it.

I wish I was a space cowboy.

[Dys Astyr]

Granted. You get the whole nine yards, big hat and everything. Unfortunately space cows are more stubborn than you realized and you don't enjoy your new job at all.

I wish I had a real chainsword. ;D

[TheHangedOne]

Congratulations, you have a real chainsword. It is an absolute monstrosity to use, it is noisy as all get out, uses an obscene amount of fuel to fire up and lubricant to keep working properly, has a hair trigger, and is also highly illegal in your state/county/province/district/wherever it is you live.

I just want to have a good night's rest.

[Dys Astyr]

Granted. You have the most amazing night's sleep you've ever had. Cherish it, you will never be able to sleep again.

I wish I had something besides instant noodles for lunch.

[clonkertink]

Granted. You had a nest of fire ants for lunch. The pain is unbearable.

I wish I was the epitome of elegance and class.

[Dys Astyr]

Granted, you are the last human alive and thus by default the epitome of everything.

I wish I didn't have to wait anymore!

[Knightshadow]

Granted. Every event comes crashing down upon you and you're actually late for several things!

I wish I could go to Phoenix Comicon!

[Dys Astyr]

Granted, but you get heatstroke almost immediately and have to go to the hospital.

I wish I had fixin's to make a sammich. (I'm hungry. XD)